


Breakdown

by bellabreakdown



Series: Breakdown Verse [1]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 125,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23991196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellabreakdown/pseuds/bellabreakdown
Summary: What if Bella was not who she claimed to be? The Cullens betray Bella's trust, revealing something they were never meant to see. Explore the world of the Fae, and experience the battle for Bella's soul. Bella-whump Bella-BAMF ALL OF THE WARNINGS! Songfic. AU after New Moon. Canon Pairings, Rated M
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale
Series: Breakdown Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729984
Kudos: 6





	1. Betrayal

Author Note:

Playlist: [https://open.](https://open)

spotify.com/playlist/7jn2jr7hwzMoBAdqQztEW1

Youtube Playlist: <https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WDkf6PFZliXntiOBUsnik3I>

DeviantArt: <https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/72979936/breakdown-chapter-1>

I hope you enjoy the first chapter of BREAKDOWN. I hope to update on a weekly/bi-weekly basis. Stick with me, it gets good! If you are interested in becoming a beta reader for this story, please PM me. 

Read and Review! Any and all feedback is appreciated! 

Lacrymosa 

Bella is 19 years old. Picks up from an alternate New Moon. The Cullens have returned to Forks, but Bella and Edward’s relationship is in shambles. 

__________________________________

During a particularly relaxed afternoon at the Cullen mansion, Jasper taught Bella to play chess, which Bella apparently had good instincts for. As Bella reached across the board to save her wayward queen, Jasper noticed a thick rope of scarred flesh on the back of Bella’s wrist. Unthinkingly, he grabbed Bella’s hand and exposed the scar to the eyes of everyone in the room as he examined it closely. The eyes of every vampire turned to the scar on Bella’s wrist, and Bella’s breath went still. 

Alarmed by Jasper’s thought-process, Edward flashed to his love, and gently pulled up the long-sleeve of Bella’s t-shirt, revealing a thin layer of clean white gauze which covered Bella’s skin from the base of her wrist up as far as the t-shirt allowed him to see.

Abruptly, the Cullens realize they have never seen Bella in anything but long sleeves. With the Forks fog, they never thought anything of it, but their vampiric memories now recall every interaction where Bella covertly covered her skin from them. 

Feeling sick with fear, worry, and a desperate feeling of betrayal, Edward carefully tore the gauze from Bella’s arm, still held captive by Jasper. Though Bella whimpered and tried to twist her arm away, Jasper’s grip was iron.

Even with their exceptional minds, no-one of the Cullens can exactly recall what happened after Edward’s careful revelation showed the messy, torn scar that stretched from the inside of Bella’s wrist to her elbow, at least as thick around as a fire poker. Flashes of struggle and fear are all that remain in their memories. Curiously, Bella remembers the sequence of events perfectly, not that they would ever ask. 

Bella’s soft whimpers reached Rosalie and Emmett, who were busy upstairs. When Emmett reached the staircase, he saw red with rage. Bella –his human sister- was pinned by Jasper against the wall of the staircase while Edward traced an ugly burn that marred her left shoulder blade. Carlisle had a restraining hand on Edward’s shoulder, but seemed in shock; and his baby sister, Alice, was hurriedly ripping the threads of Bella’s shirt away from her wrist. Bits of gauze littered the floor like confetti, scattered among chess pieces and bits of Bella’s broken chair. Esme stood stock still in the center of the room. 

Emmett was quick to process the grotesque scars covering every inch of Bella’s exposed back, but from his vantage point at the top of the stairs, he could see what no other Cullen vampire could: Bella’s face was stark white, her eyes large and pleading. She was biting back a scream, dangerous blood welling up where her teeth dug into her lower lip. Terror twisted her face into that of a stranger.

Instinct crashed through Emmett. He threw his brothers away from their victim, yanking tiny Alice away so fiercely she flew across the room. With a growl, he crouched in front of Bella, prepared to stop anyone and anything from getting to the weakest member of his family. 

He needn't have bothered, because Rosalie was hot on his heels. She took Bella in her arms and hid her exposed flesh with her own jacket. With Bella’s eyes turned to her attackers,— her family—, sense returned to them. Shame and horror painted every face in Emmett’s vision, but Bella could only see the pity painted in Rosalie’s sad smile. Her vision faded, and the world went black. 

Trust, once shaken, is slow to return. When Bella regained consciousness, the world was senseless. The Cullens,— her chosen family. Edward. Pain lanced through her as she thought his name. Edward. Oh God, what was she going to do now? 

She felt the hard oak under her fingertips. Carlisle’s study then. She was dressed in a pretty and pristine blouse, an olive green top that complimented her skin tone. She normally would have loved the shirt, but now the long sleeves mocked her. The gauze she always wore under her baggy shirts had not been replaced, and she felt naked without the protective layer wrapped around her torso.

Soft footsteps alerted her to someone’s approach, and she focused her gaze on Esme with effort. Her mother-figure wore a watery, cautious smile. Looking at it, Bella felt she might be sick. When Esme reached out to stroke her hair, Bella ducked away, spinning to avoid Esme’s touch and leaving the room without a word. 

She carried on her silence, not even slowing down as she swung her backpack up on to her shoulder from where she had abandoned it in the foyer a few short hours ago. Her nimble escape was thwarted by vampiric speed. Edward himself suddenly stood in front of the front door. With no idea what he would say to make this okay, to stop her leaving, he opened his mouth to speak,—

“Am I your prisoner now?” Bella’s voice rang through the quiet. She spoke in a hoarse whisper, but there were no tears in her monotone voice. 

Edward put no thought whatsoever into the words that came out of his mouth, driven by panic. “Of course not. Bella, please—”. His lover met his eyes, her face still terrible and empty, her eyes old beyond her years; maybe even beyond his years. “Don’t. Don’t you ask me for anything—after what just occurred here. Don’t you dare. You have no concept of what you have done. You,—you stay the fuck away from me. Your family too. I am leaving right now. Either restrain me against my will, or get out of the way.” 

The snap of Bella’s footfalls on the hardwood did not falter as she stayed just out of Edward’s reach, skirting around him and swinging open the door. The rush of anger in her previous statement failed her, and her voice was soft and broken as the door clicked closed behind her. “Goodbye.”

The word rang in the empty air.

New Rules 

The anger didn’t hit Bella again until she was in her truck, driving to the one place she knew no Cullen could reach her: La Push. Hot tears began to stream down Bella’s cheeks, and the silence in the cab of her ancient truck was finally broken by a ragged gasp of breath. Rather than pulling over when her vision became blurry, Bella sped up, pushing the truck over fifty and shuddering through the gears toward sixty-five. At eighty miles an hour, Bella worried the truck might actually rattle apart under the force of her rage, the pressure building in Big Red’s ancient engine just like it was in her heart. With a scream that was half battle-cry, Bella slammed the wheel hard to the right. As the truck flipped and rolled, the outside world finally matched the feeling in her chest. After a moment of glorious chaos, Bella felt the tension in her chest give out as she slammed into the old-fashioned metal steering wheel. Upside-down in the cab of her shattered truck, everything was still topsy-turvy, but Bella had found some small release in her reckless destruction. The passenger side had slammed into a strong tree trunk, leaving the driver’s side mostly undamaged, but the rusty door was dented too badly to open, so Bella braced her arms against the roof of the truck and released her seatbelt. When gravity took hold and her thinly covered back met the glass scattered across the roof, rage faded in an instant to acute and devastating despair. In the upside-down wreck of her ruined vehicle, Bella wept. 

The Bella who crawled out of the wreckage through a jagged hole in the windshield was not the same girl the Cullens knew. Blood trickled down her stony face unheeded, and ice and fire ran through her veins. 

A week passed, and though the Cullens grew ever more desperate for interaction with Bella, she stonewalled their every effort to get her alone, to explain, to apologize or grovel. She did not speak directly to them unless it was absolutely necessary, and never ate lunch in the cafeteria anymore. If she shared a classroom with a Cullen sibling, she still sat in her usual chair near them, but no matter what they attempted to do to engage her, she responded with blank faced politeness, made of courtesy and nothing more. 

Charlie wasn’t answering any calls from the Cullens after their disappearance months ago left Bella in pieces. A half-baked plan to call Renee was quickly shut down by Alice’s visions, which had become muddy and distorted when Bella was involved, like static on the TV. 

It seemed the awkward stalemate would last forever, until the morning Carlisle came home with a thin manila folder in his hands and defeat in his gaze. Before he took two steps in the door, Edward ripped the medical file from his grip with shaking hands, laying it out on the unused dining table. “No. No,no,no....” Edward muttered to himself as he spread the pages in a display of horrifying pictures and x-rays. “It’s not true, Carlisle.” he pleaded, “It’s someone else’s file, a mistake. It’s not her. Not my Bella.” Carlisle buried his face in his hands, sinking onto the sofa and gripping his hair hard with a tortured expression. “It is her, Edward. I had to go through two different servers in Phoenix and lie to a social worker to get it, but it’s her file. I’m sure of it.”

Rosalie interjected, outraged. “You stole Bella’s medical file!”

“It’s technically the file for an anonymous ER patient admitted for extreme trauma to Phoenix Medical. Rosalie, I know its wrong. I do. But someone,—Rosalie someone has tortured Bella. I’ve examined the file, and the damage is too extensive to be anything else.” His eyes turned to Esme, begging. “I had to know. I had to. The possibility alone was terrible, but—”, he motioned towards the file. “I didn’t think the certainty would be so much worse.” 

Rosalie was uncharacteristically quiet, and when she spoke it was a halting half-question. “Carlisle,— was she...?” Carlisle let out a long sigh, tangling his fingers with Esme’s as he bowed his head to rest on her stomach. He was the picture of a man defeated. “I don’t know for sure, Rosalie. Her mother wouldn’t allow a rape kit. But the evidence certainly points that way. And worse.”

“Worse?” Alice’s voice was a whisper.

Edward cried out, flipping the table and scattering the damned file across the room. “SIXTEEN, Carlisle. Bella was sixteen when this ER visit occurred. Lacerations on her back like whip-marks, blisters from restraints on wrists and ankles, blood loss, trauma, intentional burns, edema; on her inner thigh here, someone bit her, Carlisle! Layers on layers of damage, extended trauma—and I think those scars on her arm are from a SUICIDE attempt. I know what that looks like. “ Edward fell to his knees. “Please. You’re my father, my maker. If you tell me it isn’t her, that my angel didn’t go through this nightmare, I’ll believe you. Please. Tell me.” 

Carlisle couldn’t speak, and he felt Esme’s grip tighten in his, just a little. It gave him the strength to think it. “It’s her, Edward. It’s Bella Swan.” 

Black Beatles-

When Bella opened her eyes later that same morning, the world was still stark and grey. Her bed was somehow colder without Edward’s cool body sheltering her. She glanced outside, counting the shiny heads of the nails that messily secured the closed window. As she did every morning for the last week, she imagined ripping the nails from the windowpane. Her eyes closed for a brief moment. Bella swayed on the edge of the mattress, her body taking her closer to the window without her permission. 

NO! Bella threw herself off of the bed, away from the window and towards the door of her room, slamming it closed behind her. Her weakness was out of control. She was putting the Cullens at risk. How much longer could she stay away from Edward and his family? This was torture worse than any other: even now, Bella wanted nothing more than Edward’s stone arms around her. Something had to be done. 

After a shower which did nothing to calm her mind, Bella met her own eyes in the mirror. Centering her intention, Bella lit the topaz candle she had set on the back of the sink. With shaking hands, Bella traced the characters of Edward’s name on the surface of the mirror, and for just a moment, she relished her soon-to-be-banished memories. On the back of her eyelids, she saw Edward’s crooked smile, Carlisle’s golden eyes, Esme’s delicate hands, Emmett’s beaming grin, Rosalie’s composed movements, Alice’s excitability and Jasper’s calm steadiness. Tears pooled in her eyes, but the movement of her hands was decisive as she cut through the steam and condensation on the mirror, wiping Edward’s name away. Bella snapped a soldier’s nod at her own reflection, pale and drawn as it was, and cupped her hand around the open flame of the candle. 

A sharp inhale, but before the candle’s flame could be extinguished, Bella heard a crack. Her own reflection showed her numb disbelief in the shattered glass. The candle’s flame struck out of its own accord. Bella watched the smoke rising from the wick, and she felt it choke in the back of her throat. Her tears finally falling down her face, she imagined larger flames, clouds of smoke. Yes, there would surely be clouds of smoke when the Cullens burned. 

Suddenly, Bella could not stand one more second of loneliness. Just to lay eyes on her chosen family would be a comfort. She threw on her clothes and rushed through her breakfast, barely remembering to lock the door behind her as she rushed to school. The long walk to Forks High school seemed to take a million years, and Bella cursed her human slowness. With graduation and summer break days away, only a few students milled around the parking lot. It was still early enough to prevent an audience. 

Her eyes roved over the empty parking spaces, looking for any sign of the Cullens. There! The Volvo was in its normal spot, Edward exiting the driver’s side with a somber expression. Even little Alice seemed sad this morning. In the space of an instant, as Edward’s eyes met hers, all of Bella’s will to avoid the Cullens drifted away. The pain in her chest doubled when she saw the agony in her lover’s eyes. She held his gaze, willing him to feel what she was feeling, wanting to give him comfort and hold him close.

Bella was so wrapped up in willing Edward to take that first step towards her that she didn’t notice the ostentatious orange corvette swinging into a parking space across the lot, blaring bass-heavy music loudly. But nothing could have made her miss the stifling, malevolent presence that creeped into her mind as the corvette’s three passengers stalked towards the entrance to the school. Panic clawed in Bella’s throat as she ripped her eyes from Edward’s and turned towards the dangerous trio heading towards new student check-in. One of them, a dark-skinned man, narrowed his eyes as he considered her for a moment. He slid his leer across the lot to where the Cullen’s stood and then back to her, smirking. She glared at the handsome man, and without another glance at Edward, stalked off to class. She would have to be careful now. The Black Beetles had arrived. 

“I’m telling you Emmett, I saw it. Bella was about to run across the lot, straight into Edward’s arms. But those troublemakers showed up, and just like that—Poof! Nothing but muddled, violent colors in her future again. It’s starting to give me a headache.” Alice complained as she headed towards her homeroom. “and I didn’t even see them arrive.”

“They’re just humans Alice. I can hear the tall one’s heartbeat from here. I saw her reaction to them clear as you did, future-seer. Maybe your vision is just going out. You need Sight glasses or something.” Rosalie punched Emmett’s arm as Jasper rolled his eyes.

“They definitely caused a reaction, I’ll give you that.” Jasper drawled. “but how are we supposed to know how they play into this whole mystery if Bella won’t talk to us about anything? She’s been keeping secrets, lots of them. Truth is, I wonder if Bella is who we thought she was at all.” 

Edward’s back stiffened at Jasper’s last comment. “I don’t care who you think she is Jasper. She is my Bella, and she’s in trouble. I swear, if she would just speak to me, I wouldn’t care about this whole puzzle. I just want to know she is safe.” Edward turned and stomped away towards English, the only class he shared with his love.

The others exchanged wary, nervous glances, but out of options, did the same. 

Two classes later, Bella couldn’t take anymore. Between the Beetles’ probing glances and Edward’s constant stare, she was going to lose her mind. It didn’t help that Lauren had kept sneering at her all through English, batting her eyelashes at Edward and the Beetles alike when she thought Bella’s attention was elsewhere. The whole scene made her nauseous. She snuck out through the gym, determined to get away.

She would just move up her escape plans a little, that’s all. Even with the abysmal failure of her forgetting spell that morning, she could still find a way to leave Forks that wouldn’t attract any trouble. Her cover was blown, and the Beetles’ presence proved it. If she stayed, all would be lost. It was only a matter of time. 

Besides, the Beetles weren’t just dangerous to her. As Bella rounded the corner to the gym, she saw Lauren and the third Beetle looking pretty cozy by the girl’s locker room. Lauren had a dopey smile on her normally vapid face and the heavily-tattooed Beetle was leaning over her possessively. Oh hell...was Lauren worth starting a fight with a Beetle over? Even though her brain screamed at her to stop, Bella called out to Lauren like they were old friends. “Hey Lauren! Good to see you girl! Ohmygosh, who’s your friend? He is so HOT!” The Beetle scowled, and with a heated look in her direction broke his eyes from Lauren, who responded to Bella’s interruption with an intelligent “Huh?”. 

As the Beetle quickly retreated from his failed hunt, his unknowing prey turned to Bella. “Oh. My. God. Isabella Swan, you suck. Edward Cullen wasn’t enough, you just can’t leave any hot guys for the rest of us. I don’t know what they see in you, or how you’ve got them under your spell! You are such a loser!” Lauren walked off, flipping her hair over her shoulder arrogantly, no doubt to tell the whole school how desperate Bella was. 

Bella sighed. Great. Now she had attracted the beetles’ attention. “Under my spell, indeed.” she muttered. Now if only she could find out how to break the spell. 

She shimmied open the door that led from the gym to the outdoors. Time to go home. “Past time,” Bella thought sarcastically. “I think I’ve caused enough trouble for today. Why am I such a danger-magnet?”

Drumming Song

In the relative safety of her bedroom, Bella ruminated on her course of action. She had stayed entirely too long in this sleepy little town. She knew that leaving would tear her heart apart, but staying would rain hellfire on this place. Cursing loudly, Bella swept the clutter on her desk to the floor. The crash did nothing to calm her frazzled emotions, and now she had a mess to clean up.

Bella knew better than anyone what it meant to fall in love, how the desperation to hold on to a lover could drive someone to madness. She had to let Edward go, but that didn't mean she had to stop loving him. In some ways, her life had begun when she moved to Forks, but reality couldn't be avoided forever. The past must be put to rest. 

The choke of secrets hammered at Bella's brain, and she felt her tongue begin to split and bleed.

Slamming the last of her textbooks on the cluttered desk, Bella crossed the room to settle on her bed, cross-legged. She straightened her back and centered herself, falling into her meditative trance with difficulty. 

She hadn't had much occasion to meditate since she had moved here. The hush of the constant rain and fog had seeped into her mind, muting her magick and her memories alike. 

Even when she could feel herself falling for Edward, damning everything in the process, she had been able to keep the constant chaos in her thoughts from spilling over. By the time Bella had come to Forks, her secret life outside of the mortal world had been locked away in a steel box in her memory, and hastily labeled, "DO NOT OPEN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES". 

The Cullens had blown that box wide open when they had exposed her scars, and there were no words to express the betrayal. Her vampire family had a way of doing that to her, each and every one of them navigating her defenses with ease. She had never felt so free, happy, and peaceful as when the Cullens were around. Edward did it best, of course. From the moment he didn't kill her in Biology class, Bella had cared for him more than was sane, or sensible. When he quit fighting the pull he felt towards her, she had been irrevocably lost. 

God, but she loved him with all her heart; enough to damn her world and herself. She had to protect him. She had to leave Forks, face the battle of her life, and win. As much as Bella had given Edward her heart, the devil had already staked claim on her soul; and the devil always gets his due. 

When Bella opened her eyes again, the sunset was slanting through her window and she could hear Charlie moving around downstairs. 

He had been understandably concerned about her since she told him she had wrecked her truck, and with her strange behavior all week. Bella dragged herself down the stairs gracelessly to find Charlie standing in the kitchen, frowning. "Listen, kid. We need to talk. The school told me you skipped class today?"

With a sad smile, Bella approached her father and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you Dad. I'm so glad I got to come here." A flash of irritation and confusion passed across Charlie's face before the simple spell Bella had cast on her father manifested, and his face went blank. 

Suddenly, it was as though Bella wasn't even there. Charlie hummed a sea chanty to himself and turned to look through the fridge absentmindedly, pulling the milk out and sniffing it before reaching for the phone, no doubt to order a pizza or call Billy Black. 

She had better get started on the large-scale forgetting spell before someone mentioned her to her dad, who now believed she had graduated early and gone off to Dartmouth. Grabbing a pack of matches from the junk drawer, Bella headed back upstairs. 

Once the forgetting spell had been cast and Bella had double and triple checked her symbology, she fell on the bed, exhausted. Once, casting such a spell would've been as simple as flicking her wrist, but Bella had been suppressing her magick for almost two years, and she wasn't taking any chances.

Well, that wasn't entirely true, Bella conceded as her belongings flew around the room, packing themselves neatly into bags and boxes. It did feel good to have the warmth of her magick flowing through her veins again. 

She glanced morosely at the topaz candle that was the only remaining thing on her previously cluttered desk, remembering the failure of her forgetting spell that morning. It seemed destiny did not favor destroying the Cullen's memories of her.

Perhaps another spell then, a final goodbye to ease her conscience as she ran away like a coward. A shy smile brightened her face. Well, if she was going to deliver a heartfelt goodbye, she might as well do it with style.

Already Gone

Carlisle knew the importance of taking a break when needed. After he had found Bella’s file, he informed the hospital he would be staying at home today, claiming illness. He had never excused himself from his shift at the hospital before, and they were happy to deal with moving his patients around. Looking up at his beautiful wife, he allowed a sad smile to cross his face.

“Esme, dear, you have vacuumed this room twice already. Come-- sit with me awhile.” Shutting off the noisy machine, Esme flitted to his side. “I’m sorry—I'm just so...I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now. I’m angry at whoever hurt my daughter, and sad and guilty that we made it worse. I’m worried about what’s going on here, what she is hiding from us. I don’t know how to make this better.”

With a sigh, Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he had picked up in his human days as a pastor. It didn’t help. “I wish I knew, dear one. We love her, and I know she cares for us. It will work out. Have faith.” 

As he spoke, the air seemed to glitter and shine around him. Blinking away the sudden sunspots, Carlisle refocused on Esme, only to find her expression filled with wonder. He followed her attention to the coffee table, and immediately noticed a cherry-sized diamond that had not been there thirty seconds ago. The clear stone cast the rainbows and sun-spots that had blinded him temporarily. “What the--”.

Carlisle heard the door open loudly as his children arrived home from school. “Carlisle, you’ll never guess--”, Alice stopped mid-sentence, taking in her father’s distraction. Edward stepped into the living area right behind his most exuberant sister; Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett trailed behind him. “Carlisle?...”

In Carlisle’s thoughts, Edward saw the diamond that lay innocently on the tabletop. Cautiously, Edward reached for the small gem.

The room exploded into prisms of color, golden mist hanging suspended in the air, casting light around the room like noon-day sunshine. And there, in the middle of the room, was Bella Swan. Her visage shimmered like reflections in water, and she was wearing a simple white dress with blood spatters on the hem of the otherwise pristine garment. When she looked at him, her eyes were consumed by golden pools of light. When the apparition opened her mouth, Edward felt his world cave in. 

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high,

Never would have worked out right,

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hurt you

Now I can't stop.

The ghostly image took Edward’s hands, gazing into his face with a sad twist of lips that made his heart wrench in his chest. 

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

Someone's gotta go

And I want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on

So I'm already gone.

With a light touch that was surprisingly solid, Edward felt the ghost trace the lines of his face. He finally moved, wrapping one arm around the transparent figure that looked so much like his love and yet, wasn’t, seeking to trap it against his body. 

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you wanna cry

Started with a perfect kiss

Then we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

Images danced around him, snapshots of his relationship with Bella: their first kiss, their first conversation, the kiss he dropped on her forehead as he left her behind. The image of Bella suddenly disappeared from in front of him, re-appearing by the window and addressing his entire family. 

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

Someone's gotta go

And I want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on

So I'm already gone

Shifting once more, Bella appeared in front of Edward, standing on tiptoe to touch his brow, his cheekbones, his lips. Edward felt the brush of her mouth against his, and was immersed in a deep and passionate kiss which would have stolen his breath were he still human. 

Remember all these things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

Someone's gotta go

And I want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on

So I'm already gone.

I'm already gone.

You can't make it feel right

When you know that its wrong

I'm already gone.

Already gone.

There's no moving on

So I'm already gone.

With the final words of the song, the kiss ended on a sob that faded too quickly. Edward looked around the room to find it empty of all trace of his lover, the unnatural light gone and evening shadows casting gloom on the faces of his family. He met the gaze of his parents and siblings, the weight of one hundred years of family pushing out in his next words. “Find her.”

Get Ugly

Far away from Edward and his family, in the mountains that surrounded Forks, Isabella hitched her duffel bag further on to her shoulder. She had felt her goodbye reach the Cullens, felt the kiss as surely as Edward did. In the privacy and solitude of the forest, Bella allowed her tears to make tracks on her face; but she did not allow her steps to falter, did not look back towards the place she had called home for two wonderful years. 

When she reached a large oak around sunrise, after a long night of marching towards nowhere-in-particular, Bella’s knees finally gave out. She curled up in the root system of the massive tree, taking a long draught off her water bottle and pulling off her shoes. 

She was contemplating whether to start a fire the old-fashioned way or risk exposure by simply conjuring one, when she stiffened. Something wasn’t right. 

Her eyes clouded with gold, Bella searched for the imbalance she felt and found it. Cursing loudly, Bella dropped her water bottle and stripped off her jacket hurriedly, muttering under her breath. Rosalie was looking for her, had found her scent trail and followed it to the clearing at the base of the mountain Bella was currently climbing. Rosalie didn’t know it yet, but she wasn’t alone in that clearing. The black beetles were there too. 

Fear and hatred coursed through Bella in panic-driven sparks, but she tried to center herself as she shook off her bracelets and rolled up her sleeves, muttering a teleportation spell that was entirely too long. 

In her clouded vision of the far-away clearing, Bella saw the rowdy, drunken beetles call to her vampire sister. Laughing as Rosalie snarled and turned to face them, the beetles froze her in place. Bella saw the exact moment Rosalie realized she couldn’t move, saw the morph of her expression as panic seized her. Shit.

Bella sped up her chant and began to lose her grip on her center as, in her vision, a beetle pulled out a small switchblade, leering as he cut a gash in his own tongue, blood pooling in his mouth to run down his chin. 

The beetle licked Rosalie’s cheeks and then dragged his bloody tongue across her sister’s grimace, while the other two jeered and insulted Rosalie, asking her if she was hungry and wouldn’t they give her something good to eat. 

Bella’s rage began to spiral out of her control. In the space between one second and the next, Bella was on the edge of the clearing. Hidden from the beetles’ sight, she telekinetically threw them away from her chosen sister. 

Black Barbies

She marched out of the shadows, not even registering Rosalie’s wide-eyed stare. These men would roast alive for disrespecting Rosalie so. 

The heavily- tattooed beetle was apparently the dumbest, because he rushed Bella head-on; racing across the clearing with fire in his palm. The fireball had barely left his grasp before his head twisted with a crack, blankness falling over his face; dead before he even hit the damp earth. 

His attack was dispersed with a wave of Bella’s hand as she continued her steady march towards the other two, who were barely gaining their senses after being thrown. 

Comprehension and fear flooded the remaining beetles’ faces. The beetle with the bloodied mouth began to chant lowly, vicious syllables falling from his lips before Bella called on the ground beneath their feet to buck him off. His chant halted and stuttered, but did not stop as heavy stones flew at him from all directions and the ground beneath him split and rolled. 

Meanwhile, the dark-skinned beetle was forming shards of ice into sharp blades and trying to smother her with his mental weight. Bella batted him away from her mind as one would a tiresome fly, and when shards of ice came near her they suddenly shattered, inconsequential pieces scratching her exposed skin. 

The attacking beetle was lifted six feet into the air by nothing at all, thrown with massive force. Rosalie watched, still frozen in place, as his head split open like a ripe watermelon upon impact with a large rock. 

The only remaining beetle was the one who had launched the bloody assault on Rose. He didn’t even try to defend himself as he was thrown, landing roughly at Rosalie’s frozen feet. 

Bella snapped her fingers, and Rosalie could move again. Bella’s eyes flashed dangerously as she looked at the beetle. “Apologize.” she ground out between gritted teeth, flashing to Rosalie’s side and gripping the beetle hard by the back of the neck. She shoved him to his knees, but the sycophantic man just kept chanting in a low voice, eyes lowered and head bowed. 

Bella met Rosalie’s eyes, and Rose was stunned by the depth of sadness and empathy on Bella’s face. Bella nodded at her decisively, as if issuing an order or granting Rosalie permission. 

The beetle spit on the ground at Rosalie’s feet and glared into her face, and Rose knew what Bella was giving her permission to do. 

The rest of the Cullens had arrived at the edge of the clearing sometime during the short battle, but Rosalie did not look at her family. Bella took a step away from her and the last beetle, respectfully turning her back to give Rose some privacy. Rosalie reached out with a hand that felt disconnected from her body, snapping the beetle’s neck with a flick of her wrist. 

Rosalie crumbled, but Emmett was there to catch her. She sobbed in his arms as he cradled her close to him. 

When Rosalie looked up, she half expected Bella to be nearby, but Bella was planting her feet in front of the Cullens with a dead face, facing the mountainside while her hands shook. A figure was at the edge of the clearing, standing with hands at his side. His ebony skin and dread-locked hair gave him a distinctly tribal appearance, but his face was somber and ashamed. 

Bella’s face twisted, and she resumed her slow march across the clearing, matched step for unhurried step by the stranger. Edward tried to follow her, but ghostly hands hold him back. When Bella glanced at him with a shake of her head, face still hard as stone, Edward stood still. 

“Demitri.” Bella inclined her head, an acknowledgment.

The newcomer bowed low, scraping the ground with his fingertips. "Isabella.”

Praying

In all the death Carlisle had seen in three hundred and sixty-five years, in all the wars he served as a medic, Carlisle had never seen a scene like the one before him now. His eldest daughter was quiet in Emmett’s arms, shocked out of her grief and fear by the commanding presence of the scene before her. 

Bella and Demetri circled one another slowly in expectant crouches. Complete silence rang in the foggy clearing, no sound of animals in the underbrush or birds tweeting. Even the wind was still. 

The circles got closer with each tense pass, Bella, and the fierce man who seemed resigned to his fate. As the spiraling paths drew ever closer to one another, Demetri and Bella locked eyes, their movements becoming sinuous and quick, their feet making no noise on the ground beneath them. The air crackled with electricity, and Bella opened her mouth, unconsciously wetting her lips before her sad, slow voice floated across the clearing.

Well, you almost had me fooled

Told me that I was nothing without you

Oh, but after everything you've done

I can thank you for how strong I have become

'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell

I had to learn how to fight for myself

And we both know all the truth I could tell

I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

Determination coalesced on Bella’s face, and she took an aggressive step forward, breaking the circular dance. Carlisle braced himself for the attack, and Edward jolted forward in the corner of his eye.

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'

I hope your soul is changin', changin'

I hope you find your peace

Falling on your knees, prayin'

Instead of attacking, Demetri simply took a step backwards, matching Bella step for step as she advanced across the field. Carlisle saw brief hope flit through Demetri’s eyes at Bella’s words, but Bella’s face was twisted in fury. 

Everything in Carlisle screamed in empathy and compassion as the hope died in Demetri’s eyes. The man’s backward steps suddenly faltered, and he grabbed onto a nearby tree for support. 

I'm proud of who I am

No more monsters, I can breathe again

And you said that I was done

Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come

Bella motioned towards the Cullen family with the last verse, tears building in her eyes. The rolled sleeves of her shirt blew in the sudden gust of wind, drawing every Cullen’s attention back to the scar that stretched from her wrist to her elbow with the scent of fresh blood. Sudden storm clouds blocked the weak sun, and the crackling air charged with new tension.

'Cause I can make it on my own, oh

And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known

I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain, oh

When I'm finished, they won't even know your name

With his attention on her arm, Carlisle could see the line of red that began to tear through Bella’s skin. Uncomprehending, Carlisle focused on the blood that began to flow down Bella’s arms freely, more red coating her skin as the ugly scar re-opened. 

You brought the flames and you put me through hell

I had to learn how to fight for myself

And we both know all the truth I could tell

I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell"

I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'

I hope your soul is changin', changin'

I hope you find your peace

Falling on your knees, prayin'

Demitri’s back hit the tree, and he sank to his knees at the base of it, his posture begging Bella for forgiveness as her advance grew steadily closer, still in the same slow, sinuous march. He did not defend himself. 

Ah sometimes, I pray for you at night, oh

Someday, maybe you'll see the light

Whoa oh oh oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give

But some things only God can forgive

The scar on Bella’s forearm split, and from under Bella’s skin a beautiful steel sword was revealed, it’s slate blade was longer than it should have been, extending itself past Bella's reach to settle with its ornate hilt nestled in her delicate grip. The chrome roses that formed the cross-guard gleamed even in the sunless clearing, reflecting light into Bella’s suddenly unnaturally dark eyes. Bella’s eyes were inhuman black holes, even the sclera consumed by an endless stretch of absolute darkness. 

Yeah! (I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin')

I hope your soul is changin', changin'

I hope you find your peace

Falling on your knees, prayin'

With a sudden intake of breath, Isabella plunged the sword into Demetri’s heart, killing him instantly. 

Demetri’s empty body slid from her blade with a hollow thump, mangled on the grass. 

Carlisle crossed himself and stared at his human daughter. Edward bolted across the clearing, reaching Bella as she stumbled backward. The blade reeled itself back into the confines of her torn flesh, the scar on her arm sealing whole and unbroken once more. 

Bella stared at her lover, confused and disoriented as her weak stumbles made her stagger. Edward caught her before she could fall, wrapping his arm around her waist without hesitation. When Edward met Bella’s gaze, the black faded inwards until her eyes were normal, doe-eyed brown once more. 

Bella’s gaze flitted from the four corpses littering the clearing to the Cullens standing at the edge of the field, to Edward’s compassionate face, touching her hand to his as if making sure he were real. 

I Know Places

Urgently, Bella spun away from Edward, keeping her hand in his as she faced the mountains once more. Scanning the scene in front of her, Bella and the Cullens saw the black specks that danced on the horizon at the same time. They were too far away for even vampire eyes to make out detail, but they were getting closer too quickly to be anything natural. 

The breathless silence of the field broke when Bella clutched Edward’s hand between both of her own, leaning towards him with intensity in the movement. She focused her full attention on him. She spoke quickly, panic making her words roll off her tongue in a heap. “Edward, I know you don’t understand what’s going on. I’m so sorry, God, you’ll never know how sorry I am, but I can’t explain right now. Please, you have to come with me now.” She turned to Carlisle across the field. “Please. I know you don’t understand. We have to run. Get back to your house. Trust me.” She removed her left hand from his to run it down Edward’s face. The bloody grip she maintained on him with her right hand turned white-knuckle tight. “Trust me.” she implored desperately. 

At Edward’s nod, Bella used their entwined hands to swing herself onto Edward’s back. Hooking her unbloodied arm around his shoulders in a piggy-back hold, Bella pointed east, towards the Cullen homestead. “Run, all of you, but stay together. Run as fast as you can.”

The black specks on the horizon were close enough for Alice to make out the details of their features. They were bird-shaped, but no bird had ever looked like this. The wings on the creatures were skeletal and bat-like, with pulsing black-filled veins crisscrossing them in patterns that were somehow violent. Their bodies were emaciated and decaying, with rotting eyes and a wide mouth splitting their skeletal faces in two, lined with wicked teeth coated in blood. Alice wouldn’t have thought a vampire could still feel like throwing up, but disgust roiled in her gut, almost making her wretch.

Emmett had already scooped up Rosalie, taking off after Bella and Edward without breaking his focus from his devastated wife. Carlisle and Esme were looking back from their ready poses at the tree line, waiting for Alice and Jasper to catch up. Jasper tangled his fingers with hers and yanked her back to reality, dragging her usually nimble feet behind him. Alice ran. 

Gold

When they reached the Cullen homestead, Bella released her hold on Edward, sliding off his back and planting her feet on the ground with surprising grace. Emmet grabbed her by the shoulders roughly as she hit the ground, shaking her violently as Edward grabbed hold of him with a snarl. Bella calmly met Emmett’s eyes. “Explanations are coming, Emmett, but now is not the time.” Raising her voice to address the entire family, Bella spoke with authority. “You have two minutes to gather everything of value to you in this house which you can carry without appearing inhuman. Don’t bother with money.” 

Carlisle watched as Bella strode quickly into the house through the back door, raising her eyebrows as Carlisle followed. He shrugged, “Esme knows what to grab for me, and I wish to speak with you.” “Not now.” 

As Bella reached the living area, she scooped up the diamond which had held her goodbye message, spinning it between her fingers until it turned into a golden coin. She began to flip the coin between her knuckles, back and forth across her fingers, and golden mist rose in the room once more. The horrific shades landed at the edge of the lawn, but when the creatures approached the house the golden mist disintegrated them, their decaying bodies turning to ash as they fell. Animalistic screams and growls rang through the house. The creatures were trapped at the edge of the lawn, pushing and shoving to get away from the deadly mist. 

Bella’s eyes were once again consumed, this time glittering with golden light as she cast her spell. As Carlisle watched on, Bella threw the golden coin into the middle of the room, where it hung suspended in midair. The room filled with glowing threads, some thick as ribbons, some strong twine. Each golden line connected to the coin, thickening as they grew closer to it and splitting into branch-like threads as they got farther from the coin. 

Bella traced the lines frantically, touching each one. Where she traced the ethereal stings, shimmering figures coalesced, vaguely humanoid shapes that disappeared when Bella moved on to the next. Shifting his gaze to Bella’s face Carlisle watched as her frantic frustration grew, her expression rapidly approaching panic until one of the strings chimed when she touched it. The shimmering shadow that erupted from this thread grew more distinct than the others, and Carlisle could make out long hair and a toned masculine figure with clear green eyes and handsome features. 

Relief made Bella’s shoulders sag as she examined the thread, pulling at it so it feathered into multiple strings. Though her face was painted in concentration, Carlisle could see an underlying joy burgeoning on her face. 

Esme took his hand, awe brightening her worried features. Rosalie and Emmett arrived next, with Jasper and Alice close behind. Each couple had a duffel bag hanging off their shoulders. Edward was strangely the last to arrive and carried nothing with him, though his jean pockets bulged with unknown items. Hesitantly, Edward approached his lover, laying a hand on her shoulder until she met his gaze with her gold-painted one. Determination and sadness warred on the face of Carlisle’s first son. 

Bella blinked herself back to reality, the golden lines fading from existence to leave the living room normal once more. The coin, still hanging in midair began to spin lazily, and then faster and faster as Bella moved her eyes around, landing on each couple for a few seconds before moving on to the next. She focused on Edward once more, and lyrical words began to fall from her lips. 

The Rose

Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed

Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need

I say love, it is a flower, and you, its only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance

It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give

And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long

And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows

Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring -- becomes the rose

The slow song captivated the Cullens, each one of them falling under Bella’s thrall. Edward’s face was painted in awe and wonder as under Bella’s outstretched hand, fresh green vines began to curl upward, roots spreading along the suddenly supple floorboards. The stems and leaves blossomed rapidly into the most beautiful red rose Edward had ever seen. Velvet soft and rich burgundy, the single rose had thorns at least a half-inch long, and though the plant below the flower continued to blossom with leaves and new growth, no other flowers emerged. As Bella uttered the last line of the powerful song, she reached out towards the flower, her fingertips deftly avoiding the thorns as she plucked the bloom. 

Immediately after disconnecting from its only bud, the plant withered and died, brown rapidly spreading along its soft leaves until all that remained was a withered stump. The flower, encased in Bella’s light grasp, glowed for a moment before it spread its petals with a golden shimmer. 

For one glorious moment, the flower bloomed beautifully, but the petals quickly began to droop and fall, exposing the center of the flower. Edward felt his heart fall too and did not know why. But as the center of the flower was revealed, a stone nestled in its delicate petals began to be seen, a clear-cut crystal encasing a perfect miniaturized replica of the beautiful flower. Bella held the strange pendant out to Edward as a delicate golden wire bloomed into existence around the stone, wrapping the gem and connecting it to a sturdy gold chain. 

He took the stone from her. “As long as you love me, Edward Cullen, do not remove this pendant from your person.” Bella helped him throw the chain around his neck, the pendant falling to just below his sternum. She placed one hand on his heart as the other tucked the gem inside the v neck of his t-shirt. 

“I don’t understand.”

“You will, soon enough.”

Bella took one last look at all of the Cullens, who as one realized how ragged she appeared. Blood coated her right arm, scratches littered her skin. Her face was so pale she could've passed for one of them, especially with the dark circles bruising her eyes. She was barefoot, and her shirt hung askew, stained with some of her blood, but more of the beetles’. The capris Bella had on with her plain navy shirt were covered in dirt and water stains, torn at the knee. She had no belongings with her. 

“Ready?” Bella didn’t wait for a reply as she clapped her hands together around the rapidly spinning golden coin. The Cullens and Bella disappeared in a flash of light.


	2. Havana

Chapter two of Breakdown is ALIVE!

Ohmygod you guys. I wrote this in like a day and a half. I’m so obsessed. I’m also addicted to follows and reviews.

Let's see if the links actually work this time. *SCOWL* Formatting this thing is a nightmare. 

I am so incredibly grateful for all the readers, reviewers, and editors that have made this story happen. I couldn’t do it without you!

Songs:

<https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WAnxiZAhgHKbhPBwnZuobEp>

Photos:

<https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73041325/breakdown-chapter-2>

Spotify:

<https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1WiB7qtPC9rb5U6SKecT16>

Heathens

Alice blinked at her surroundings, her natural sense of balance and placement struggling to adjust to the sudden change of location. 

A warm breeze filled with desert air hit her nose, and the scent of a foreign landscape further disoriented her. Empty warehouses lined the dark street, the sounds of city-life at night hitting her ears from somewhere far away. 

Alice reeled as her senses assaulted her. By the time she had re-oriented herself to the new scene enough to focus, Bella was already walking away from them, headed across the street towards the entrance to one of the warehouses that looked no different from the rest. 

Jasper’s hand was tight on hers as he too struggled to take in the sudden changes. Alice knew he was in full soldier-mode, Major Whitlock’s instincts driving him to assess and protect in a way she had not seen in decades. 

She tugged him to follow Bella, and in the half-second pause of his resistance she read more than he intended her to. Major Whitlock distrusted their human sister. Too much had been revealed in the past 12 hours, there was too much he didn’t understand. Jasper had never been close to Bella, though he respected and liked her. Bloodlust enforced distance between her husband and her best-friend. 

Alice knew where he was coming from. Her mind reeled under this new knowledge of her sister. However, Alice had the gift of Sight, and even if Bella’s future was incomprehensible at the moment, Alice knew her sister’s character. She had seen a thousand futures for Bella, and from them had hungrily gleaned knowledge of who Bella was in every circumstance. 

Bella was one of the most exceptional people Alice had ever met. Her selflessness and trust surpassed everyone else on the planet. Her stubbornness to make sure those she loved were cared for properly drove her. It dictated when she fought for her opinions, and when she gave in. She fought gently, with words, actions, and persistent persuasion. It said a great deal for Bella’s personality that she could capture and hold the interest of seven immortal beings, surprising them regularly. 

So, without thinking too deeply about it, Alice tugged Major Whitlock to follow Bella wherever she may lead. She knew who Bella was, even if it was becoming apparent that Alice didn’t know what she was. 

Two by two, the Cullens slowly followed Bella across the gently illuminated street where Edward already waited with his lover. As they neared Bella, who was lingering in a narrow alley out of the reach of the streetlight, Alice took in Bella’s altered appearance with gleeful shock. 

Her fashion-challenged friend was dressed in a slinky black dress that hugged her soft curves, sheer sleeves showing shadows of her skin before solidifying into a sweetheart neckline outlined in lace. Silk fell thinly across Bella’s chest and hips before flaring out to stop gently at mid-thigh. Long legs ended in studded black boots with a chunky heel, adding a little rock-and-roll to the ensemble. The ragged Bella of twenty seconds ago was long gone, dark makeup emphasizing her eyes and slick red on her lips. A high, polished ponytail completed the look. 

“What the hell Bella! When did you get stylish? Can’t I get a cool wardrobe change too?”

Her family blinked at her, Edward rolling his eyes, but Esme half-nodded before she caught herself.

Bella laughed. “Only you, Alice.” She flicked a finger at Alice’s figure, and Alice took a second to admire her new maroon dress. She glanced up to see her whole family dressed in a slick nightclub style, made of fitted suits and stylish dresses. 

“Oh hell yeah. You are so teaching me how to do this.”

Bella giggled with a little hysteria in her voice before growing suddenly serious. “Look, we are really exposed out here, so I have to be quick. We are about to enter one of the most dangerous places in my world. I need your trust for a little while longer, but before the night is out, you’ll know what's going on enough to make your own decisions about whether to stay.” Her expression grew sad and angry as she spoke, hinting again at a pain they did not understand. “I just--, I need you to be safe. Then you can do what you will.”

“There are a few rules for this place that you need to know. Kind of a rough crowd in there. Don’t assume because someone doesn’t look dangerous that they’re weak or harmless. Everyone you meet is your enemy until proven otherwise. Take it slow. Emmett, please no sudden moves. Don’t make your connections to others obvious. Just-- try to play your cards close to your chest. And for god’s sake, try to stay out of the UVs.”

With that cryptic statement, Bella turned away from them, pulling at her dress and walking with new sway in her hips towards a heavy steel door at the back of the alley. She knocked twice and the door snapped open, spilling harsh light in their direction. Bella entered first, and with a collective nervousness, the Cullens followed once more. 

Inside, the room was imposing and too small. Their outfits were fancy in the harsh florescent light, overdressed for the prison-like atmosphere. Burly, mean-looking men approached them, one raising an eyebrow and getting on his radio the second the Cullens entered the doorway, while the other wore imposing steel gauntlets and a bored expression. 

The beefy man approached Bella, and Edward tensed. The man glanced up at him, but his bored expression did not change as he dismissively waved his steel-coated hand a few inches from Bella’s person. When he reached Bella’s forearms, the gloves turned suddenly golden, shimmering like Bella’s magick. 

Immediately, both men snapped to attention, staring at his love with new respect and some fear. Bowing low, the gloved man waved all eight of them through with a quiet, “Milady”. 

Bewildered, the Cullens marched single file past the bowed figure of the man, through a gated entrance that led to a larger portion of the room, where the flat white walls were broken by a single, vividly painted door. 

The posted guard quickly opened the door, and club-music filled the Cullen’s hearing. Behind the door, a smoky dance club gleamed in modern hedonism. Rough-and-tumble characters danced with girls in fancy dress, ignoring the newcomers steadfastly as they pursued individual passions. 

Edward didn’t allow his disapproval to show on his face as he took in the scene. On sleek modern couches, lines of cocaine disappeared eagerly. A clear platform in the center of the room held a girl wearing very little clothing and dancing provocatively. On a huge stage in the back of the room, a rock band pounded out a bass-heavy beat. The main bar was separated from the rest of the club by a decadent beaded curtain; purples and reds filled the space, making it sable and samite in the pulsing light. 

Bella, on the other hand, relaxed into a sexual strut, striding confidently into the room with the Cullens trailing behind. When the door closed behind them, Emmett turned to see a crowded wall, the door gone like it was never there. Bella motioned them towards couches directly across from the separated bar-area, and her family sat stiffly on the sleek furniture, sticking out like a sore thumb. “Order some beers or something and stay out of trouble.” Bella spoke softly, taking advantage of vampiric super-hearing as she turned towards the curtain. 

Out of nowhere, a worn older man grabbed Bella’s arm, sneering. “Them kind aren’t welcome here, lassie. You and your bloodsucking buddies need to leave.” Before he was even finished speaking Bella wrenched her arm from his grip, striking out with a low kick that swept the man to the floor and leaning over him with a snarl twisting her lips. The partygoers in the room studiously ignored the pair, blind-eyes and backs turning. Edward and Emmett stood hastily, but a newcomer was already beside Bella, holding up a hand authoritatively in the old man’s direction. “I say who is welcome here, Dennis. Piss off.” Carlisle’s gaze was inquiring as he took in the man, who’s handsome visage and long hair looked familiar. The man whose image had brought Bella such relief during her cast in the living room slipped a beer into his daughter’s hand casually.

“Long time no see, Iz. Walk with me. Your vampire friends can make themselves comfortable here.”

“Hey Marcos. Still bullying the locals, I see. ”

Closer

Marcos swept aside the curtain and hopped behind the bar, still in the Cullens view, but far enough away that they couldn’t make out his words in the roar of the club. The music lightened and changed, the wild dancing turning into a leisurely salsa, even the most sexual dancers backing away from one another and maintaining friendly distance. When Marcos spoke, his words fit the beat perfectly, his vocals ringing through the space. 

Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you

I drink too much and that's an issue but I'm okay

Hey, you tell your friends it was nice to meet them

But I hope I never see them again

Marcos poured the fresh cocktail he had been shaking over his shoulder into a tall-stemmed glass, hopping deftly over the tall counter and setting the drink down in front of Bella before taking her hand, swinging her into a waltz hold. 

I know it breaks your heart

Moved to the city in a broke down car

A full year, no calls

Now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar

And I can't stop

No, I can't stop

Bella danced gracefully, letting Marcos lead her into complicated dance steps before joining the song with a melodious voice. 

So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover

That I know you can't afford

like that tattoo on your shoulder

Pull the sheets right off the corner

Of the mattress that you stole

From your roommate back in Boulder

We ain't ever getting older

Bella sang: We ain't ever getting older, and Marcos repeated: We ain't ever getting older. Bella broke into a solo, pushing Marcos away and twirling far from him, before beckoning him closer. 

You look as good as the day I met you

I forget just why I left you, I was insane

Stay and play that Blink-182 song

That we beat to death in Tucson, okay

I know it breaks your heart

Moved to the city in a broke down car

And a full year, no call

Now I'm looking pretty in a hotel bar

And I can't stop

No, I can't stop

This time, every person in the bar sang too, Their voices rising in perfect harmony.

So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover

That I know you can't afford

like that tattoo on your shoulder

Pull the sheets right off the corner

Of the mattress that you stole

From your roommate back in Boulder

We ain't ever getting older

We ain't ever getting older (we ain't ever getting older)

We ain't ever getting older (we ain't ever getting older)

We ain't ever getting older (we ain't ever getting older)

We ain't ever getting older

We ain't ever getting older

The voices of the patrons in the bar had faded, until all that was left were Bella and Marcos, singing accapella in the silent room. 

No we ain't ever getting older

The strange song broke off with a collective roar from the crowd, partygoers going insane with passion as Marcos and Bella stepped away from each other, dropping their hands. Marcos nodded to Bella with the air of a person who had just decided something important, though no words had been exchanged between the pair besides the shared song. 

Bella silently tilted her head towards her companions, question written on her face, and Marcos nodded stiffly once more, pulling a key out of his pocket and turning towards the rusted door at the back of the club. 

When Bella motioned to them, the Cullens stood as one, following Marcos towards the steel door and entering a pitch-black room single file. As Bella passed Marcos, he bowed slightly and dropped a kiss on her hand. When Edward, bringing up the rear of the group, passed the man, a smirk painted Marcos’ face, and Edward bit back a growl as he took in the teasing, impish grin.

This is Me

Once inside the room, the family was immersed in darkness, even sharp vampire eyes finding nothing but empty space, nothing to focus on. Unnatural stillness permeated the space, and the Cullens’ ears rang with the lack of sound after the noisy club. If they had transported again, shouldn’t they be somewhere new? 

Esme felt fear rise in her brain. What if something had gone wrong? Was she alone in this pitch-black? Carlisle took her hand gently, and the sound of Bella’s heartbeat thudded in her ears. Relaxing, Esme almost missed the soft opening verse of the song as Bella whispered into the blinding blackness.

I am not a stranger to the dark

Hide away, they say

'Cause we don't want your broken parts

I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars

Run away, they say

No one'll love you as you are

Light grew from nowhere in the blank space, white beaming through the darkness and illuminating Bella’s form as her back straightened and her head rose. Glittering golden fog encased Bella’s form slowly as she squared her shoulders, turning to face the growing outline of a doorway in the void. 

But I won't let them break me down to dust

I know that there's a place for us

For we are glorious

Bella disappeared, engulfed by the rising light in the room and gone in an instant, though her voice still rang in the space. Edward raced to the light with no hesitation, not even looking back at the others as he disappeared too. 

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out

I am brave, I am bruised

I am who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come

And I'm marching on to the beat I drum

I'm not scared to be seen

I make no apologies, this is me

Alice and Jasper followed quickly, Alice wearing a mischievous grin and Jasper close to panic. Carlisle and Esme looked back at Rosalie and Emmett, nodding to them before they too entered the light, followed closely by the last of the Cullen clan. 

The chorus rang in their ears, sung by a million voices ringing down the gilded hallway. Bright gold medieval architecture filled the narrow space that stretched to massive doors, from behind which the voices sang-- a thousand strong.

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh

Bella ran to the door with childlike grace and exuberance, her backless, modern-style, sequined gown showing off the scars that had remained hidden from the Cullens for so long. The burn on her shoulder was vivid and red, lacerations laced with ugly scar tissue displayed, with pride, for the world to see. Esme looked around at her family, at each face painted with awe, and felt pride well up within her. Each member of her family wore clothing typical to their time period and modified to their personal taste. Rosalie in a tastefully updated hoop skirt in a bright red, Emmett beside her in rolled breeches and a loose, deep-cut, blousy top. Edward wore a 1917-style suit, and beside him was Jasper in uniform. Carlisle stood next to her in a sleek suit and tie, but the cut and style were indicative of the renaissance period in which he had lived while human. Shockingly, Alice stood beside Jasper in leathers and moccasins, which though-updated, were distinctly Native-American in style. Esme was resplendent in a layered, powder blue off-the-shoulder gown, her hair pinned to her face in an elegant updo. The shock faded quickly when Bella threw open the massive doors at the end of the hall, stepping out onto a balcony high in the air as the Cullens flashed beside her, clothing forgotten as they took in the shocking world beyond the golden hall.

Without giving the Cullens a moment to adjust to the magnificence before them, Bella jumped over the banister of the balcony, landing in the center platform of the arena below, already crowded with wild-looking people in bright dress, the style and color of each costume clashing energetically. The crowd parted before her, drum-line building as the tribal crowd greeted Bella exuberantly. 

Another round of bullets hits my skin

Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in

We are bursting through the barricades and

Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)

Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)

I won't let them break me down to dust

I know that there's a place for us

For we are glorious

The crowd took up the chorus, singing as one. 

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out

I am brave, I am bruised

I am who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come

And I'm marching on to the beat I drum

I'm not scared to be seen

I make no apologies, this is me

The crowd began to dance, separating along natural divisions from the center platform, and spreading out as more individuals rushed into the open space from balcony doorways and leaped to one of the multiple platforms to join their kin. 

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh

This is me

and I know that I deserve your love

(Oh-oh-oh-oh) 'cause there's nothing I'm not worthy of

(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out

This is brave, this is proof

This is who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)

And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)

I'm not scared to be seen

I make no apologies, this is me

Bella stopped suddenly in the middle of the central platform, turning to look towards the opposite end of the space where three empty thrones stood elevated above the complex dance floor. Grief and anguish screamed in her desperate face.

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out

I'm gonna send a flood

Gonna drown them out

Oh

This is me

New Romantics

The sudden stillness that followed the song was broken by joyous noise. All around them, people hooted and hollered, a thousand heartbeats accelerating across the exceptional city that stretched before the Cullen’s vision. 

The arena before them was dead in the center of a huge cavern, lined with balconies that led to the elevated platforms that floated in mid-air below the natural funnel. It was reminiscent of a sports stadium, or a roman arena. At least, it would have been without the insane size and grandeur of the space. 

In the background of the arena, the city was no less amazing. Clouds gleamed in the canyon that separated the arena from the city, the ornate cliff dwellings defying gravity to cling to the cavern walls. Some residences had been built to hang over the cliff edges, while others carved their ornate buildings into the walls themselves. Every inch of the huge cave was utilized, gardens growing in harmony with towers; and arches like spiderwebs filled with stone houses. Open-air markets crowded the walking pathways that served as streets, lit by multicolored lights that gave the impression of a cave filled with fireflies. The architecture was distinctly roman-influenced but had a medieval-gothic flair.

Above them was a behemoth crystal chandelier, hanging from the roof of the cave, which had been inlaid with stained glass in a spiraling pattern that made Carlisle dizzy. Light streamed through the glass, painting huge swaths of soft color on the clouds below them. 

To the east, the colossal opening of the cavern showed a magnificent skyscape, stars gleaming unencumbered at the high altitude. The red and orange walls of the cavern were imprinted with layers left behind by ancient floods that had brushed the walls with fire.

“Notre Dame has nothing on this.” Emmett whispered quietly. Carlisle’s eyes gleamed as he took in the surroundings, sure that he had found the root of the stories about fairies and their strange world. 

A man approached the Cullens from the narrow pathway that led to their balcony, laughing as he heard Emmett’s comment. “Well, you haven’t even seen the best part yet. Turn around!” The older man motioned above the Cullens heads, indicating they should turn their backs while shooting them a friendly smile. 

Behind them, glowing with multicolored light from every open-air window, was the most beautiful castle Carlisle had ever laid eyes on. Carved entirely out of the sandstone that made up the walls of the cavern, the castle was huge. Gardens sprawled lazily from the massive towers, carpeting detailed archways with wilderness. The structure was about three stories tall; but where it connected to the roof of the cavern Carlisle could make out an attic space, and a basement peeked from the curved root of the building. Carlisle heard his wife gasp, her hand tightening in his as she took in the wild beauty of the architecture. 

“Nice, isn’t it?” Bella had blinked into existence behind them, sitting on the balcony rail over a sheer drop with her legs dangling off the side. She was relaxed and calm, though she tightened her grip on the rail as she addressed her family. 

“Welcome home, young one!” The man cried excitedly, reaching the top of the narrow path and clutching Bella in a tight hug. 

“Hi Jo! It’s good to be back, sort of. Josephat, I’d like for you to meet the Cullens. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and that’s Edward.” Bella pointed them out as she spoke, and Josephat's calm, cool-blue eyes assessed the vampires momentarily before the composed man laughed boisterously. “Only you would return from the mortal world with seven vampires in your pocket. Welcome! Any friend of Isabella’s is a friend of mine.” 

“Anyone is a friend of yours, Dr.JoJo,” Marcos sneered, as he too approached the balcony with a cigarette hanging from his fingers. “but I’ll ignore it because it is so good to have Isa back with us.” He smiled genuinely this time, his playful affection brightening his face and making him look younger. He shoved at Bella’s arm playfully, and she laughed, punching his arm before turning back to them. Josephat held out a slim book as Bella clapped her hands together in anticipation.

“Welcome to Havana, my friends. Home of the Fae.”

Carlisle took the book from Josephat, who nodded at him with serious eyes. Flipping to a random page, Carlisle read aloud. 

MAGICK (ELEMENTAL AFFINITIES): 

Magick is the name for the Fae ability to convert (energy of intention) to (elemental matter) through spells. There are FIVE elements which Fae have the ability to manipulate. 

WATER- (healing abilities, manipulation of all forms of water, ADVANCED: manipulate death and life) 

FIRE- (manipulation of all forms of fire, creation of fire, ADVANCED: manipulate emotions and influence thought, immortality) 

EARTH- (manipulation of earth and stone, manipulation and transformation of animals, the ability to make things grow, ADVANCED: strength and speed) 

AIR- (flying ability, teleportation, wind, tornadoes, ADVANCED: weather, telekenesis, “shifting”, or teleportation over long distances.) 

SPIRIT- (the ability to SEE into the future or the past, see auras, ADVANCED: manipulate destiny, and telepathy) 

Typical Fae have 1-2 affinities, and only through long struggle and gaining lots of power, can an individual learn magicks outside of their natural-born affinities and/or learn how to use their affinity so well that they can achieve the advanced blessings. Magickal power is classified as “Light Magick” or “Dark Magick” and power is obtained through the strengthening of certain traits. Each individual Fae possess a blend of light and dark magicks based on their character and choices. 

WATER- 

Light- Peace, Compassion, Healing, Joy 

Dark- Envy, Gluttony 

FIRE- 

Light- Passion, Protection, Intuition, Love 

Dark- Lust, Wrath 

EARTH- 

Light- Wisdom, Determination, Kindness, Loyalty 

Dark- Arrogance, Brutality 

AIR- 

Light- Knowledge, Renewal, Change, Patience 

Dark- Sloth, Betrayal 

SPIRIT- 

Light- Honesty, Choosing, Destiny, Righteousness 

Dark- Greed, Covetousness 

Those individuals with the most power, who can manipulate the elements the best, become the natural leaders among their bloodline, and gain more social, politica,l or military power as they grow stronger. 

Carlisle blinked as he finished reading the dry, clinical text, and Alice burst out in triumph. “I knew it! Bella’s a witch!” 

His not-so-human daughter blanched, flinching suddenly. “I’m not a witch any more than you are Dracula, Alice. Fae are still human, we’re just...different.” Bella walked backwards off the balcony as she spoke, headed along a narrow arch that led towards the otherworldly castle. Her gait was confident and sure, even moving backwards, and Edward silently mourned the loss of his clumsy girlfriend. Had everything about Bella been a lie?

Bella continued to explain, meeting Edward’s eyes imploringly as the group started up the path. As they passed other Fae, the people would bow low, some throwing flower petals in their path and others waving with gleeful faces. Children raced further up the path in front of them, parting the crowd, and Marcos glared sternly at anyone who lingered too long. 

“There were originally twelve Fae bloodlines,” Bella was saying, paying no attention at all to the crowds’ rambunctiousness. “But during the wars of ancient times, the bloodlines fought fiercely. By the time the first Fae queen rose to power, sometime around 2686BC with the Old Dynasties of Egypt, the wars had gotten so bad only six bloodlines remained. And then of course, came the--” Bella stopped suddenly, choking on her words, fresh blood scenting the atmosphere. 

Carlisle and Josephat flashed to Bella’s side, and Carlisle stood uselessly as the healer tilted Bella’s head towards him. Bella made a face, spitting blood on the ground at Jo’s feet and grimacing. “Sorry, -- I was so excited, I forgot.” The healer tutted as he examined Bella’s mouth, a helpful child from the crowd bringing him a cup of water that Bella greedily drank. “What happened?” Carlisle asked urgently, glancing surreptitiously at Edward, who had frozen in place at the scent, eyes black with hunger. 

They walked on, Edward relaxing a little as the enticing scent of Bella’s blood faded with distance. After a quiet moment, Bella nodded at Marcos, who sighed and turned to Carlisle. “There are different kinds of magick here, and one of the darkest is the binding. Bella cannot speak of certain things without consequences. Someone has tied her tongue, and we don’t know who, so the spell cannot be broken. We'll try to fill in the blanks for you, but Bella must be careful of what she says.” 

Bella addressed Marcos hastily. “I want no restrictions on the information that the Cullens have access to. They’ll need to visit the library, and we’ll need to schedule a tour of HQ.” 

Marcos inclined his head, accepting Bella’s statement before turning to Carlisle again. “The six remaining bloodlines after Shannara’s rise to power are the only ones left today. Salem, Spellman, Ipswitch, Shaman, Smith, and Swan. Those last two—Smith and Swan--, they’re recessive bloodlines. Fae only pop up every now and then in those families, but in the other four bloodlines, the Fae gene is always dominant. Every Fae can perform magick, but affinities and power-levels are affected by skill. Salem, they’re the royal line, and they have a lot of power. The Spellman line are mostly scholars and healers, while Shamans are seers and make up a lot of the temple. Ipswitch, they used to be fierce fighters and inventors, true scientists, but they are mostly gone now, only a few of us survived the Purge.”

Chaos followed Marcos’ last statement. Edward was the quietest, interjecting with a soft and horrified gasp. “Bella gets hurt every time she breaks some super-secret code? That’s insane!” Alice and Rosalie spoke over each other desperately; “Is Bella going to be okay?” “Wait- seers?” Esme inquired politely, “What’s the Purge?”. Carlisle pinched his nose as his family talked over one another. Waving a hand at them, they took his cue to quiet down. 

Surprisingly, Emmett chimed in with the most pertinent question at that moment. “What’s with the crowd? They’re treating you like a savior or something.” Bella closed her eyes on a deep sigh, shrugging her shoulders wearily. 

Marcos’ voice rang out over the small group, a wide grin splitting his face. “Oh-- didn’t I mention? Salem, they’re the royal line, nobles and the like...but the recessive bloodlines are the most powerful, and supersede the Salem’s power. When the Smith and Swan bloodlines express magick, that individual becomes the leader. Isabella Swan is the rightful queen of the Fae. “

Shock rang through Edward and the Cullens alike. 

Queen

“What?” Surprise and shock rang in Edward’s voice, along with no small portion of betrayal and horror. 

“It doesn’t change who I am,” Bella responded. “Please, Edward, I never wanted to lie to you.” She stopped, reaching for her betrayed lover. “Edward, I can’t-- I wanted to tell you. You don’t know how much. Every second, the words were on my tongue, but there is still so much you don’t understand, don’t know.” 

“I don’t know because you didn’t tell me!” Edward yelled in a frustrated outburst, running his hands through his hair hard. The crowd around them bristled, suddenly becoming dangerous. Carlisle turned to his foolhardy son. “Edward.”

Josephat chimed in suddenly, laying a hand on Bella’s arm. “I assure you; Bella is not dishonest or manipulative in any way. Bindings are adaptive. The spell would physically prevent her from speaking the truth. Until you were exposed to Havana’s atmosphere, it would have been quite impossible for Bella to tell you anything of the Fae, unless you already knew. “

Jasper sent a calming wave towards his brother, and Josephat turned to him, surprise etched on his strong face. “You did that- you calmed him down. Vampires cannot do magick.”

A mirthful laugh escaped Bella’s throat. “Vampires cannot do magick, Jo, but they do have gifts. And the Cullens are no ordinary vampires. Edward is a Legellimens, he can read minds. Alice Sees pathways, and Jasper is the most talented empath I have ever met. Carlisle will surpass even you in healing one day.” 

“You have Seen this?” Josephat inquired, his interest peaked. Bella shrugged. “I know it. If Carlisle is interested, you should let him train with you.” 

Josephat looked at Carlisle with new eyes, then bowed low to Isabella. “I shall pursue this, milady. Lizzie will be along shortly to escort you through the castle.” He hurried off ahead of them distractedly, looking back at them with curious glances. 

“Where’s he going?” Emmett asked, once more surprising his family with his common sense. 

“Josephat will arrange your freedom to visit the library. I too, must share the good news of Isabella’s return to Havana with the soldiers. Please, take your leisure, but be careful what you ask of Bella. If her blood enticed one of you to bite her, that would not end well for you." Marcos’ statement darkened his face as he took in the Cullen clan’s black eyes, focusing on Jasper and Edward. “I will make arrangements.” He snapped a salute at Bella, who stopped him with an outstretched hand. “Marcos, you should know that the Cullens differ from their kind. They only drink the blood of animals, mostly carnivores. Please see what our hunters can do.” Marcos’ eyes gleamed as he accepted the challenge, and with a hearty laugh at the vegetarian vampire’s expense, he too took off.

Royals

The castle loomed, suddenly intimidating now that they knew of Bella’s role in this strange world. “This isn’t all of Havana, you know.” Bella mused at them, her eyes far away. “Fae always express their magic by eight years old. The Akira, er, the temple Fae watch for them and try to catch them right as they manifest their affinity. After testing for multiple affinities, young Fae are taken to the school, where they board for the semester. Children are only allowed to travel to the mortal world during the summer.” 

“There’s more beyond this cave?” Rosalie asked, her voice still hoarse, but she was more animated than Carlisle would've expected after the attack she had endured. 

“Much more. The school is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. It makes castle HQ look like a pitiful shack.” Bella looked around with pride. “This is the Camp, made of those Fae which resist the Master’s call.” 

“The Master?” Jasper’s eyes were clouded with suspicion as he took in the emotions roiling inside of Bella. Fear, weariness and hatred rolled off her in waves as she uttered the strange title. Bella shook her head silently, her eyes flashing into black holes for just a second before she cleared her head with a shake, turning and facing away from her vampire family. 

“There have been some speedbumps in my regime change.” Bella responded vaguely, entering the open-air foyer of the castle. A blonde girl with her hair secured in a tight ponytail intercepted Bella as she strode towards the main door. 

“Hello, your majesty”, the girl bowed low, reaching to scrape her fingertips along the dirt path and dropping a handful of petals on the ground at Bella’s feet. Bella smiled softly. “You must be Elizabeth. And it’s Bella, please. All that formality gets tiresome after a while.” Elizabeth blinked up at Bella, shocked at her casual address. “Oh, I don’t know if I could call you by your name, ma’am. I mean, I’m just a steward in your house.” Bella eyed the young lady critically, and the girl straightened at her attention. “You aren’t just anything, Lizzie. In fact, I’ll make a deal with you. I need someone to serve as head-of-house while I’m here, someone to co-ordinate the house and arrange my schedule. You seem quite capable, and Jo trusts you. I’ll give you the job immediately, provided you never call me ‘your majesty’ or ‘ma’am’ again.” 

Lizzie’s face lit up and her hands flew to her mouth. “Head-of-house? But your maj-”Lizzie stopped herself as Bella glared. “Of course, Bella, I would be so honored.” She led them across the courtyard with new eagerness, and when the Cullens finally entered the castle, she began to point out the different functions of the building. “This is the first floor, which contains village access, the kitchens, and serves as the ballroom for official Court functions. If you want to go to the bazaar, you should probably take a guard with you. Vampires are a rare sight in Havana, and with ya’ll being new here and all, wouldn’t want you to get mobbed. Below us is the basement, which is a sacred space. It contains access to the central platform of the Arena, and the throne room. The portals to the human world can be accessed from there too, but I wouldn’t recommend it without permission. Portal guards are a fierce bunch.” 

They were approaching a grand staircase in the center of the room, lit dramatically with candelabras that shined with glowing yellow and orange light. “The second floor is where most of the Council have their offices, and the medical wing is on that floor too, though you guys are invincible, right? The third floor is the Library and the council chamber, which you all have full access to, under Bella’s order.” 

The Cullens followed Bella and Lizzie as they stepped onto the staircase, clutching at one another as the stone steps suddenly began to spiral upward of their own accord, fast enough that a breeze blew refreshingly in their faces, carrying the scent of the gardens and crackling candles. 

“We’re headed to the attic now, if you please, Bella.” Bella shifted excitedly. “Have the changes I requested already been made?” Lizzie nodded. “They've put in the extra beds already. It’ll be cozy, but you should all have your own space. It's a good thing it was already large enough for three. It’s a wonderfully designed space, your-” Lizzie halted herself once more, looking mortified and guilty as Bella’s face went pale.

But Bella waved Lizzie off the staircase quickly, taking a centering breath and looking back at the Cullens. “I thought you might all want to stay together, so I had the attic redecorated to accommodate all of us. Like Elizabeth said, it will be cozy, but each couple will have their own bedroom if Edward and I stay in the main area. You are welcome to other living arrangements; this was just an idea.” The Cullens noticed Bella’s apprehension, and Esme spoke reassuringly. “I’m sure it will be fine, Bella. If it is anything like the rest of this place, I'm sure we will be stunned by its lavishness.” Bella smiled as the steps stopped at another ornate hallway.

The House that Built Me

Lizzie handed Bella an old-fashioned key and stopped herself from bowing. “I’ll let you explore the attic on your own. I’m sure you’ve had a long day. If you need anything, just say my name, Elizabeth Spellman. I’ll come right away. If it please you, Bella.” Lizzie inclined her head an inch, and the staircase’s steps started downward. Bella called after her in a subdued voice, “Lizzie, could you make sure we are not disturbed until sunrise? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I could really use some rest.” Beaming, Lizzie nodded her head, bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement at her new promotion until she spiraled out of sight.

Bella’s footsteps were soft and slow as she approached the gilded red door. Behind the door, a short staircase ascended through a plain, narrow hallway. Bella motioned the Cullens through and held the door for them as they entered at a human pace. 

Esme held her breath as the hallway widened, towing Carlisle behind her, eager to see Bella’s home. Alice was hot on her heels; followed by Emmett and Rosalie, who still clung to one another and looked like they were looking forward to some downtime. Jasper brought up the rear of the group, while Edward had stopped next to Bella and was leaning over his love’s form. Out of the corner of her eye, Esme saw Edward drop a quick kiss on Bella’s lips before he motioned his love through the entrance and up the stairs with a long-suffering sigh, holding the door for her and giving her a stern look when she protested.

To the left of the staircase was a small kitchen with a long picnic table separating it from the open plan of the rest of the room. The table was strong caramel-cream oak, polished to a gleaming shine and easily large enough to fit eight or more. White flowers in clay pots decorated the table, and the space had an airy, light feel. There was plenty of room to prepare meals and a happy turquoise-colored fridge that had already been stocked. 

To the right, the room extended long and narrower than the kitchen, with a pitched roof supported by dark oak beams. At the end of the long room, French doors hung with floor-length white curtains, which fluttered in the breeze from the balcony beyond. A rug in rich reds and blues marked the confines of the living space. Embedded in the roof were tall bookshelves, forming honeycombs on which ancient books defied gravity, clinging to their shelves. The space was well-lit even though it was the dead of night, a soft white glow emanating from the seams of the room gently. One of the long, light blue futons had been fully extended into a fluffy looking full bed, and vivid silk-adorned orange pillows were set at the head of the bed, closest to the balcony. 

Off of the kitchen was a clean white bedroom with black-and-white photos adorning the wall over the large desk, pictures of Bella as a child with a butterfly in her hand; and of Bella, older now, with her arms wrapped around two other preteens. In a large window, Edison lights hung on a string, illuminating the room with a soft-blue glow. And wrapped around the single beam that connected one side of the pitched roof to the other, a swing-chair hung at the foot of the bed, inviting someone to curl up in it. The soft room was cozy, but airy, and a soft looking grey rug covered the floor. 

“Esme, Carlisle, that should probably be your room. Its more separated from the rest, and you’ll have plenty of space.”

Bella led their group through the main living space to where two other rooms branched off on opposite sides. “Edward and I will take the futon, Alice and Jazz can take this room, and Rose and Emmett the one opposite. Peeking into each room, Esme noticed the very different personalities in each space. 

Alice and Jasper’s room hung with strings of multicolored lights, with a large nook at the end of the room, under a window. Soft armchairs were lined up against one wall, in vivid reds and oranges that somehow harmonized with the deep forest tone of the huge bed. The floor was bare, and the room was darker than the rest, though that was offset slightly when Bella waved her hand and the old-fashioned fireplace that took up one wall flared to life: a hundred dusty candles half-melted into the grate.

The opposite room, which had been assigned to Rosalie and Emmett, had a huge slanted window that dominated the space, the beautiful landscape of Camp glowing from far below and casting light into the room. This room was modern and masculine, a duvet in a sensible gray color stretched out on the bed, centered opposite the window. The chandelier that hung in the room was made of antlers, and a modern print dominated the wall behind the bed, a jackson-pollock-esque painting signed with three handprints in alternating colors. A small wood-burning stove was stuffed into the corner opposite the door, plenty of wood piled next to it. A utilitarian desk on the short wall was offset by a sleek looking modern chair that was the only feminine touch in the space. 

When Esme turned to complement Bella on her decorating skill, she found her exceptional daughter was nowhere to be found. Esme glanced around, noticing that her family had separated into its base couples, each pair unloading their suddenly appearing duffel bags into their respective rooms. Carlisle met her eyes from the kitchen, where he was pouring a glass of water and selecting a plateful of fruit. 

Edward was the only Cullen separated from his mate, sitting alone on the futon-bed with his head in his hands, gripping his hair tightly with his eyes closed and confusion painted on his face. Though Esme’s heart bled for her son, she knew Carlisle would be a better sounding-board for him. 

Following a hint of Bella’s scent, Esme found the young woman she considered her human daughter on the attic’s balcony, her soft auburn hair falling from her sleek updo, caressing her face as tears streaked down her cheeks quietly. Esme hardly even noticed the green beauty of the peaceful space as she focused on her daughter; who was leaning forward, exhausted, in one of the chairs that surrounded a round table. A firepit burned merrily away in the middle of the tabletop and cast shadows that danced off the greenery and Bella’s features. A half-poured glass of white wine was in Bella’s hand, dangling precariously from her fingertips as her head drooped and her back slumped. 

Esme snatched the glass from Bella’s hand before she could drop it. “You’re too young to drink.” she teased quietly, as Bella looked up at her with a tear-streaked face. 

“I’m really, really not.” Bella stated in a monotone, levitating the glass from Esme’s hand and downing it in one go. “Cheater.” Esme snarked, still not quite used to Bella’s magickal abilities. She sat down in the chair closest to Bella. 

“Edward will come around you know. Forever is a long time to stay angry.” “Some of us don’t have the luxury of forever.” Bella quipped, life finally entering her voice in the form of sarcastic anger. 

Bella stretched languidly before placing her crossed feet on the low table and leaning back in her chair. “Sorry- It's just been a really, really long day.” Bella’s fancy dress melted into ratty sweatpants and a baggy tank top, gauze winding itself up her arms and across her torso as Esme watched, noticing how natural Bella was with her magick. Bella grabbed a small ponytail holder from around her wrist and began to braid her hair before Esme was suddenly behind her, plaiting her locks gently as she batted Bella’s hands away. 

“You don’t have to apologize. I’m sure we could all use some rest, and Edward and Carlisle will be busy pouring over that textbook your friend gave them, all night. Well, what’s left of the night.” The moon was high in the sky, stars already fading one by one. “Come, you can’t sleep out here, Carlisle wants you to eat something before you sleep.” 

“Esme, I owe you and your family explanations. We have privacy now, and I can try to be clear through the spell.” Bella was flabbergasted, raising her hands from her face and turning to meet Esme’s eyes. “Why are you so worried about me? Aren’t you mad?”

“First off Isabella Swan, queen or no queen, Fae or no Fae, you are important to this family, and to me. It’s my job to worry about you, so get over it. Explanations have waited this long; they’ll hold till sunrise. And secondly, it doesn’t sound like you had much choice about keeping your secrets, and I’m quite certain it isn’t an easy story to tell. I wish you had found a way to trust us, but everyone makes mistakes. Trust can’t be forced any more than love can.”

Bella snorted, a derisive sound that turned in to a short, sad laugh. “Oh Esme, anything can be forced, if enough pressure is applied.” Bella motioned one handed towards her own back, scratching at the brand on her shoulder absentmindedly, until Esme smelled the blood welling up and staining the gauze that hid the scar from view. With a frown, Esme smacked Bella’s hand away lightly. “Well, given the option, I will always choose to wait for you. We will never force you into anything, Bella.”

Bella deflated visibly, finally leaning on Esme as she sagged under the sudden exhaustion that rose as her tension faded. Esme was on her side. It meant a great deal. 

Struggling with herself, Bella opened her mouth slowly, closing it several times before, with a swallow, she spoke haltingly. “This apartment, this house. We called it the attic. It was built for three.” Bella swallowed back bile and blood, her tongue splitting and the scent of her blood rising in the quiet air. She shrugged at Esme hopelessly, who remembered the desperation on Bella’s face as she sang to three empty thrones. 

“Oh, Bella. My Bella.” Edward’s voice was quiet as he stepped onto the balcony, and Esme stood, brushing Bella’s hair back from her forehead as she headed inside to her husband.

“Not too long, Edward. Humans need sleep.”

Out of the Woods 

Bella felt the pain in her chest grow unbearable as she looked at Edward’s brooding face. She had no idea what to say, so she remained quiet as Edward took the chair next to her and pulled her into his lap. She took his hand and focused on the details of it, counting the veins like she had on an airplane back from Italy not-so-long-ago. 

Edward’s eyes were pitch black, but he kissed Bella’s forehead anyway, rocking back and forth soothingly in the quiet moment. 

“Are we out of the woods yet?” Edward broke the silence softly, and Bella focused her attention on his face, which was heartbroken and serious, question in her eyes.

“Bella-- I need to share something with you.” Edward shifted under her, pulling several items out of his pockets before meeting her eyes and shaking his head. 

“When I saw you in that clearing, killing those awful men...My Bella, I was so angry. Something has happened to you, something terrible. I don’t know what it is, and I’m pretty sure you can’t tell me yet. That’s okay, I’m not sure I want to know. I mean, I want to know but not...” Edward dumped the contents of his pockets on the table and ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. “Point is, when it was over, you asked me to trust you; and for a moment, I almost didn’t want to. I didn’t know what to do, so I just ran. But when you told us to pack up our stuff, I didn’t think twice. I grabbed this stuff without a moment’s pause.” On the table lay several odd items: a twig, a small vial full of ash, a bottle cap and a crumpled,out-of-focus photo. 

“You see Bella,” Edward started, focusing entirely on the items on the table, strange peace floating in his eyes. “When I ran from you to try and keep you safe and human, I didn’t take much. And the entire time I was gone, I kept thinking about our short time together. The entire time I was gone from you, I fixated on these. They were the only things I took with me when I ran.” He held up the bottle cap. “This is from the first time we ate lunch together, when I stopped fighting my draw towards you.” Edward set the cap down like it was a precious gem, sadness crossing his face as he looked up at her. “We knew so little about one another then.”

“The next one is a little macabre, but I carried it with me all the same. This is all that is left of James. When I carried it with me as I ran, I remember; it would make me so angry. But I never got rid of it. This vial is proof that I would gladly kill for you.” 

Bella jolted slightly, tears beginning to rise in her eyes. 

“And this. This is the most hated item in my collection.” Edward pinched the twig tightly, almost snapping it between his fingers. “This twig is from that stupid stretch of forest where I left you standing alone. I didn’t even notice it until I was in Alaska, but the sight of it was the first time I wept after leaving you behind. Still, it reminded me of you, and that was enough. Eventually, I came to realize that this is proof I cannot live without you.”

Bella looked at him curiously as Edward stopped speaking, hesitating as he reached for the blurry photo. He handed it to her face down, as if he could not bear to look at it. 

When Bella flipped the photo over, she almost fell out of Edward’s lap. Early on in their relationship, during one of the golden days between James and Edward’s trip to Italy, Bella and Edward had been goofing-off in his room at the Cullen mansion. When they found an old polaroid camera, it was nothing at all to take hundreds of fun photos; posing for each other and with each other, begging to take “just one more Alice, please?” 

The crumpled polaroid was one of those photos, Bella and Edward posing happily next to the couch. Bella’s arm was thrown around Edward’s shoulders, clutching the hair at the base of his neck as Edward nuzzled into the side of her face. A wide grin was on both of their faces, the photo snapped mid-laugh.

And Bella’s eyes were consumed with gold. 

“This, Isabella Swan, I took with me when I ran. This photo is proof that there are still things I don’t know about you. I’m not going anywhere, my Bella. No matter what.”

Bella smiled, tears streaming down her face. “Tell me Edward.” she said, motioning towards the fire burning nearby, “Are we out of the woods yet?”

Edward grinned, and throwing the collection of garbage into the flames, he turned to his love. Kissing her passionately, Edward replied, “I sure hope so.”

Stars Dance

Wake up to your dreams

And watch them come true

I'll make you whisper my name, I'll never leave the room

Night and day, I'll be your muse

No other girl can make you feel the way I do

I can make the stars dance

Light up the moon, I can make the stars dance

If you want me to

The sky is everywhere, so meet me under there

I can make the stars dance dance dance with you

Don't be afraid, close your eyes

Let me take you to places that you've never been tonight

I thought by know you'd realize I can do anything I put my mind to

I can make the stars dance

Light up the moon, I can make the stars dance

If you want me to

The sky is everywhere, so meet me under there

I can make the stars dance dance dance with you

Everything I touch turns to love

Everything I do will open up heaven

It's dead steady, there's falling and flying in love

Nothing's forever because we are just stars, dance

I can make the stars dance

Light up the moon, I can make the stars dance

If you want me to

The sky is everywhere, so meet me under there

I can make the stars dance dance dance with you

I can make the stars dance

I can make the stars dance

I can make, I can make, I can make the stars dance

The sky is everywhere, so meet me under there

I can make the stars dance dance dance with you


	3. Unwelcome

Here we go again, friends. Don’t get spoiled, I won’t always be able to update this quickly. 

Reviews are wildly coveted, as always. 

The music is becoming more and more integral to the story, so if it gets hard to understand what’s going on, please let me know. One of the most important and confusing characters is introduced in this part of the story, and I want to be sure she gets across properly. PLEASE let me know if you want to Beta. 

YouTube Playlist: 

[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WCLcnWwbhb2B8-P7zeFb_ua ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WCLcnWwbhb2B8-P7zeFb_ua%C2%A0)

Spotify playlist: 

[https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dTo0T1ZZxBySHWO0v6iSs ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4dTo0T1ZZxBySHWO0v6iSs%C2%A0)

DeviantArt: 

[https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73082184/breakdown-chapter-3 ](https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73082184/breakdown-chapter-3%C2%A0)

LiveJournal: 

[https://breakdown1992.livejournal.com/ ](https://breakdown1992.livejournal.com/%C2%A0)

Page Break 

**Raising Hell**

Bella’s eyes snapped open when the sun hit the horizon. As she did, Edward felt the beat drop throughout the strange city and looked up from the slim text he had been pouring over all night. Bella leapt out of his arms on the bed, and eagerly approached the door. 

Hallelujah  
I'm still here, still bringing it to ya  
Ohm like Buddha  
Good girls know how to get hard too, ya (uh huh) 

I'm all fucked up in my Sunday best  
No walk-of-shame 'cause I love this dress  
Hungover, heart of gold, holy mess  
Doin' my best, bitch, I'm blessed 

She looked back at him with playful sassiness, fairly beaming as she threw open the door to the staircase and a multitude of voices joined her song. A parade of fae burst through the door, spreading out in dizzying circles with their arms full of supplies. 

Oh, if you couldn't tell  
We can always find the trouble, we don't need no help  
Singing oh, mama raised me well  
But I don't wanna go to Heaven without raising hell 

Edward lost sight of Bella in the suddenly crowded living space. Alice threw open the door to her and Jasper’s room, grinning wildly, and Carlisle looked up from his perusal of Bella’s book collection, shocked out of his study by the energetic music. Esme grinned too as stewards laid out a breakfast feast on the long table, the rich smell of coffee and something familiar rising in the room. Marcos entered behind the crowd, greeting Bella with a warm hug before Bella dropped with him in synchronization to the beat. 

Get in  
Get it  
Drop it down low, hit it, hit the pole with it  
Drop it down low, drop it down low  
Drop, dr-drop it down low, drop it down low (get it)  
Drop it, drop it, drop it, drop-drop-drop it down, down low  
Bounce it up and down where the good Lord split it 

Bella approached the feast on the table, holding her hand out for the thick stack of paperwork Marcos handed her, looking relieved to be free of his heavy burden. 

Hands up, witness  
Solo cup full of holy spirits  
Something wicked (ooh)  
Speaking in tongues in my blood-red lipstick 

I'm all fucked up in my Sunday best  
No walk-of-shame 'cause I love this dress (ooh)  
Only God can judge this holy mess (ah, ah)  
Bitch, I'm blessed 

She threw herself into the chair at the head of the table, Edward and his family flashing to their places. As conches were removed from the gleaming silver platters, the sweet smell of pancakes, bacon, and coffee were mixed with the musty scent of blood. In front of each Cullen was a damask pitcher filled with warmed animal blood, a strange, sugar-sweet smell rising from the already filled goblets. Bella winked at Edward as Emmett’s exclamation broke the song, his simplistic brother already guzzling liquid from his goblet. 

Oh, if you couldn't tell (oh well)  
We can always find the trouble, we don't need no help  
Singing oh, mama raised me well (uh-huh)  
But I don't wanna go to Heaven without raising hell 

“Dude - you have got to try this.” Emmet spoke over the music’s pounding beat, motioning towards the cup in front of Jasper. "I have no idea what kind of blood this is, but it’s even better than grizzly bear.” Bella giggled, turning to Lizzie who had suddenly appeared by her side, the blonde girl wringing her hands. “That’s high praise from him.” Bella stated. She turned to Emmett across the table. “That, Emmett, is dragon’s blood. Don’t worry, I’m sure you can fight with one later. The pesky creatures are everywhere at this altitude, and they’re huge. All of this probably came from one of them.” 

Emmett’s eyes grew round, and Alice burst in excitedly. “Are there unicorns here too?” Joy swept across Bella’s face, and she turned to Alice to reply, reaching for the coffeepot and ignoring Lizzie tapping her shoulder urgently. 

Before a word left her lips, Bella’s head wrenched hard in the opposite direction. The unexpected slap rang loud in the space as the woman who had flashed into the attic grabbed Bella’s shoulders, sweeping her out of her chair. Bella responded with an animalistic scream that somehow meshed with the music, throwing the newcomer across the room. 

*wild scream*  
Drop it down low, hit it, hit the pole with it  
Drop it down low, drop it down low  
Drop, dr-drop it down low, drop it down low (get it)  
Drop it, drop it, drop it, drop-drop-drop it down, down low  
Bounce it up and down where the good Lord split it 

No-one interfered with the sudden tussle, Marcos holding a hand up as Jasper stepped towards the conflict and stopping them in their tracks, literally. The two women threw each other around the room like rag dolls, shaking the furniture as they silently fought. 

Ladies and gentlemen (oh shit)  
Let's shake what the good Lord gave us (oh yes, baby)  
(Come on, let's go) 

Aw dang, this that shit (uh huh)  
Beat like this, wanna shake my ooh  
Oh dang, this that shit  
Beat like this, wanna shake my ooh  


Bella gained the upper hand, pinning the beautiful dark-haired woman to the floor and straddling her hips as golden light consumed Bella’s form. 

Aw dang, this that shit  
Beat like this, haters, suck my ooh  
Woo, Lord, feeling it  
Beat like this, make me feel that power 

Bella was once again in her skimpy golden dress when the light faded, and the woman grew still under her, the music winding to a close. 

Oh, if you couldn't tell  
We can always find the trouble, we don't need no help  
Singing oh, mama raised me well  
But I don't wanna go to Heaven without raising hell 

Can I get an amen? (Ha)  
This is for the misfits of creation (ha)  
Take this as your holy validation (let's go now, come on)  
You don't need to hide your celebratin'  
This is our salvation 

Page Break 

**Church Bells**

Bella spoke to the wild woman on the floor beneath her, climbing off of her and extending a hand that was gladly taken. “Well good morning, Kaedra. Jesus, I haven’t even had my coffee yet...though I’m surprised Lizzie was able to keep you out this long. Kudos, Elizabeth. Marcos, let them go. ” 

Edward could suddenly move again and Rosalie sank into her chair, shaking. The woman spit on the ground at Bella’s feet as Bella released her, slamming into Bella’s previously-occupied chair and swinging her feet on the table. She grabbed a grape from a nearby platter casually, shaking her head and chewing slowly. “It’s not that it isn’t good to see you Isabella. I knew you’d be back someday, but _they_ -” Kaedra motioned towards the Cullens broadly, “are not welcome here. Jesus, Isa you’re breaking all the rules here, ya know? I mean, it’s bad enough you came back with anyone at all, but _seven?_ And vampires to boot.” 

Bella sighed deeply. “Kaedra, we will talk about this after I have eaten. Shut up before I punch you in the face. Cullens, meet Kaedra. She is one of my closest friends and largely responsible for the formation of Camp. She has been serving as Regent in my absence.” 

The Indian woman took in Edward’s family with sharp deep-brown eyes, tossing her ebony hair over her shoulder as she took them in dismissively, apparently finding his family wanting. Her delicate features solidified into a glare as she rolled her eyes, not even acknowledging them as she turned back to her Queen. “This is ridiculous. You can’t expect me to accept this. You better have one hell of an explanation Isa. I don’t care if you die of blood loss telling it.” 

The woman swung her feet off the table and headed towards the door. “What a bitch.” Rosalie muttered under her breath as Kaedra left the room with a last dirty look in their direction. 

Bella resettled in her chair, no worse for wear despite the fierce fight, though red marred her cheek and annoyance showed on her face. His love turned to Rosalie with a mischievous expression, piling pancakes onto her abandoned plate. “I would've thought that you and Kaedra would get along splendidly, Rosalie. I surprised you don’t like her. She’s got a lot in common with the two of us. 

Images began to shimmer into existence in the room, distorted shadow-memories playing in the air around them as a twangy country song started. 

She grew up wild, like a blackfoot daisy  
Out in the shack with a blue tick hound  
Broke as hell, but blessed with beauty  
The kind that a rich man can't turn down  
She caught the eye of an oil man dancing  
One summer night in a dime store dress  
She had the looks, he had the mansion  
And you can figure out the rest 

It was all roses, dripping in diamonds  
Sipping on champagne  
She was all uptown, wearing that white gown  
Taking his last name 

In the ghostly images around them, Bella’s shimmering visage danced with Kaedra’s shadowy form. The ghostly singer’s hands joined in a mockery of prayer in the translucent memory, and the real Bella watched them sadly, picking at her food. 

She could hear those church bells ringing, ringing  
And up in the loft, that whole choir singing, singing  
Fold your hands and close your eyes  
Yeah, it's all gonna be alright  
And just listen to the church bells ringing, ringing  
Yeah, they're ringing 

Bella got up from her chair, her real form replacing the ghost of herself as she danced with the shadows. 

Kaedra was hosting Junior League parties  
And having dinner at the country club  
Everyone thought they were Ken and Barbie  
But Ken was always getting way too drunk  
Saturday night, after a few too many  
He came home ready to fight  
And all his money could never save her  
From the devil living in his eyes 

It was all bruises, covered in makeup  
Dark sunglasses  
And that next morning, sitting in the back pew  
Praying with the Baptists 

Bruises and scratches flitted across Bella’s heartbroken face, there-and-gone in an instant as black slowly wound its way up the wedding dress that shadow-Kaedra wore, staining it like ink spreading across paper. 

She could hear those church bells ringing, ringing  
And up in the loft, that whole choir singing, singing  
Fold your hands and close your eyes  
Yeah, it's all gonna be alright  
You just listen to the church bells ringing, ringing  
Yeah, they're ringing 

Bella turned to look at Rosalie, raising an eyebrow at his blonde sister as her shadow-form stepped away from her. 

Kaedra slipped something in his Tennessee whiskey  
No law man was ever gonna find  
And how he died is still a mystery  
But he hit a woman for the very last time 

The shadow-Bella was dressed in a pitch-black dress that matched the one Keadra’s shadow wore, the shimmering echoes clutching hands like lost children as their voices rang out in the silence. 

She could hear those church bells ringing, ringing  
Standing there in a black dress singing, singing  
Fold your hands and close your eyes  
Yeah, it's all gonna be alright  
And just listen to the church bells ringing, ringing  
Yeah, they're ringing 

The sound of church bells rang across Havana, reaching the high tower that held Bella’s attic from far away. Bella turned, and with a last glance at her family still crowded around the breakfast table, exited the attic. 

Page Break 

**Bad at Love**

Edward hurried after his love, leaving his family behind for the moment as he followed her down the narrow staircase. Bella was waiting for him, and as he approached she reached out. She tangled her fingers with his as they re-entered the gilded hallway and the stairs began to spiral downward. She leaned her head on his shoulders, squeezing his arm reassuringly. Edward once again noticed the white stretch of scar tissue on both of Bella’s forearms. 

The silence remained unbroken, Edward comforting his love, hugging her close wordlessly. 

Soon enough, the stairway stopped, and Bella pulled away from him; tugging him to the right, past grandiose marble pillars. A stainless-steel table filled the open balcony. Through the pillars, sunrise gleamed off the floating arena and the clouds below. Edward caught glimpses of the three thrones across the cave, situated north across the arena and casting their imposing shadows across the room. The south wall had been left untouched, and the craggy sandstone created welcome nooks and crannies in the cold, imposing atmosphere of the council chamber. 

Edward wisely stood to the side, releasing Bella and stepping into a dip in the sandstone wall. Bella put a finger to her lips, imploring him to stay put silently with a lowered hand. 

Standing at the furthest end of the metal table was Kaedra. Her face was blank and dead as she leaned against the tables’ surface, canting her hips so that the table supported her weight. Her large eyes and narrow nose gleamed with silent, slow tears; and as Edward watched, a tear rolled off the tip of her nose, past pouting- pink lips to land on the floor. The woman was dressed in a black lace-corset top and a full sari skirt that reached her ankles, in rich magenta accented in gold. The outfit was tough and regal, with a sexual air Edward didn’t notice at first. Black silk was wrapped around her hands in a boxer’s wrap, and, like Bella, she was barefoot, though she lacked the studded gold strings of jewels that wrapped from Bella’s ankles to her big toe. 

Bella approached with a calm, quiet step. Edward took in the pair, taking in the strange way that their appearances complimented each other, seemingly unconsciously. 

When Kaedra noticed Bella’s approach, she stood suddenly, wiping away tears and spitting words with vitriol in her voice. Edward creeped closer as silently as he knew how, struggling to make out the quiet words. Bella responded with ghostly images swirling to life around her, forming figures made of light. 

Got a boy back home in Michigan  
And it tastes like Jack when I'm kissing him  
So I told him that I never really liked his friends  
Now he's gone and he's calling me a bitch again 

Marcos stepped into the grand room as the song began, throwing his hat to land, abandoned, on a chair as he swept HIS Bella into a dancing hold. 

  
There's a guy that lives in a garden state  
And he told me that we make it 'til we graduate  
So I told him the music would be worth the wait  
But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate 

Jacob Black’s image grinned, before fading entirely as Bella stepped away from the glowing image of the Quileute boy. 

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe  
That we're meant to be  
But jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy  
Get the best of me  
Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I  
Always make the same mistakes, yeah I  
Always make the same mistakes 'cause 

I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)  
But you can't blame me for tryin'  
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'  
You were the one (ooh-ooh)  
That could finally fix me  
Lookin' at my history  
I'm bad at love 

Bella met Kaedra’s eyes imploringly, but Kaedra remained still, leaving Bella to dance alone. 

Got a girl with California eyes  
And I thought that she could really be the one this time  
But I never got the chance to make her mine  
Because she fell in love with little thin white lines 

An image of a beautiful teen with fiery red hair stood in an ethereal sunbeam, gleaming like an angel. The girl’s face was inexplicably tragic, looking at Bella with longing and despair written on her features. The room seemed to darken as Bella focused on her, making her figure shine all the more brightly. This figure too, disappeared when Bella turned from her to face the stubborn regent again, and this time Kaedra allowed herself to be swept up in the dance.  
London girl with an attitude  
We never told no one but we look so cute  
Both got way better things to do  
But I always think about it when I'm riding through 

Suddenly, Bella turned towards him, abandoning her hold on Kaedra and meeting Edward’s eyes as she sang directly to him. 

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe  
That I'm in too deep  
And jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy  
Get the best in me  
Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I  
Always make the same mistakes, yeah I  
Always make the same mistakes 'cause 

I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)  
But you can't blame me for tryin'  
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'  
You were the one (ooh-ooh)  
That could finally fix me  
Lookin' at my history  
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)  
Oh, you know, you know, you know (ooh-ooh)  
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)  
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh) 

I know that you're afraid  
I'm gonna walk away  
Each time the feeling fades  
Each time the feeling fades  
I know that you're afraid  
I'm gonna walk away  
Each time the feeling fades 

You know I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)  
But you can't blame me for tryin'  
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'  
You were the one (ooh-ooh)  
That could finally fix me  
Lookin' at my history  
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)  
Oh, you know, you know, you know (ooh-ooh)  
I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)  
Oh, oh 

Page Break 

**Walk Away**

Kaedra snapped away from the dance, approaching Edward briskly as a pop-beat rang through the space, one song transitioning to another smoothly. Anger rang in her voice and as she spoke, images of his relationship with Bella flashed in the air once more. The fight with James, him speaking with Esme and Carlisle, his speech to Bella in the forest. Sharp pain filled Edward’s head. 

You’ve got your mother 

Every other, undercover 

Tellin' you what to say  
You think she’s stupid  
But the truth is  
That it's cupid, baby  
Lovin' you has made her this way  
So before you point your finger  
Get your hands off of my trigger  
Oh yeah 

The pain in Edward’s head grew with the anger in Kaedra’s voice, and Edward hit his knees, tumbling out of the dip in the wall and hitting the floor.   


You need to know this situation's getting old  
And now the more you talk  
The less I can take, oh 

She’s looking for attention  
Not another question  
Should you stay or should you go?  
Well, if you don't have the answer  
Why you still standin' here?  
Hey, hey, hey, hey  
Just walk away  
Just walk away  
Just walk away 

The pain was unbearable, but Edward suppressed his natural fight-or-flight instincts, bringing up one leg and pushing himself to his feet as he glared at Kaedra fiercely, still clutching his head and guilt pounding through him in amplified waves. 

She waited for you  
Like a kid waiting after school  
So tell me how come you never showed?  
She gave you everything  
And never asked for anything  
And look at her 

She’s all alone 

  
So, before you start defendin'  
Baby, stop all your pretendin'  
I know you know I know  
So what's the point in being slow?  
Let's get the show on the road today  
Hey 

Kaedra finally reached him, and the pain in his head momentarily lifted as her next words burned through him: 

She needs a love  
She needs a fire  
To fuel the burn  
Her desires  
I want a man by her side  
Not a boy who runs and hides  
Are you gonna fight for her?  
Die for her?  
Live and breathe for her?  
Do you care for her?  
'Cause if you don't, then just leave 

Bella was at his side, supporting him as the pain faded from sharp knives to gentle pounding, Bella’s warm hand on his forehead. He looked up to see Marcos with a blade at Keadra’s throat as the song faded. 

Walk away  
Just walk away  
Just walk away  
Then just leave  
Yeah, yeah  
Walk away  
Walk away  
Walk away 

Isabella Swan was furious. 

Page Break 

**Vampires Will Never Hurt You**

A cymbal ticked, filling the space before soft guitar spiraled into vocals that exploded across the space. His lover gripped Keadra by the throat, throwing her into the steel table so hard Kaedra’s body left a dent. Marcos tried to hold Bella back, gripping her arms tightly, but Bella shrugged him off violently. Her eyes were consumed by starless night as she pursued Kaedra across the massive hall, fire burning at her fingertips and her breath ghosting the air with cold ice. 

“Don’t you ever, — Don’t you touch him. Anyone who harms a Cullen will answer to me directly.” His love’s voice pulsated under the force of her wrath. A flame filled punch flew towards Kaedra’s face, and Edward moved. He flashed to Bella’s side, resting his hand at the back of her neck and meeting her black eyes. “Bella, love. Stop. I’m okay.” 

For a moment, Edward thought his angel would ignore him, before she pushed him out of the way telekinetically, black fading from the whites of her eyes until her iris was clear once more. 

“The Cullens are my precious people, maybe more precious than you.” Bella’s words broke the tense, momentary, silence. Her voice was powerful, a Queen and her Regent talking, not two friends. “You will give them the respect they deserve. I’m much more likely to kill you than they are. They have not, will not abandon me to the Master’s darkness.” 

“Do you know that? He’s already walked away from you once, and his family with him.” 

Bella snarled, eyes flashing, and Kaedra flinched in response. “You speak of things you do not understand, your majesty.” Bella snarked sarcastically, spitting the title like so much venom. 

“Fine, let the music parse out the truth. I hope you don’t regret your trust in them, Isa.” 

“It is not my trust in _them_ I have cause to regret, my friend.” 

Page Break 

**In the Name of Love**

Bella fussed over Edward as they left the hall, haltingly explaining that the power Kaedra had wielded so casually against him was a form of telepathy, similar to that of the vampire ruler, Aro. “Kaedra is very powerful and holds affinities in Spirit and Fire. She’s very passionate. No one will attempt to harm you again, Edward. I just can’t take it. I’ll set down the rules for interactions with you and your family as soon as I get to my office.” 

As they approached the stairway, Josephat met them, passing Bella a cup of water and quirking an amused smile at her. “The council chambers still stand, I hope. I take it you and Kaedra worked things out?” He scanned Bella’s body, his hands a few inches from her person. Colors flew around his hands in a magnificent display of Bella’s aura. “We’ve got to do something about these knots in your reiki.” the man muttered distractedly as The rest of the Cullens approached them, Carlisle leading the group. 

“Edward, you simply must see the magnificence of the Library,” Carlisle started, his arms packed with dusty tomes. “I could spend eternity in that room and still not read every book.” 

Bella snorted, carefree once more as she greeted her vampires. “Careful, Carlisle; there are those who do just that, and you would be wasted as a librarian.” 

Josephat interjected quickly. “About that. My dear man, I do believe I promised you a tour of the medical wing. I’ll send your selections to the attic.” Josephat clapped his hands, and suddenly Carlisle’s arms were empty. 

“Your friends are very interested in the music interwoven in our magic, Isabella.” 

“Oh, I’m not surprised. Stepping into Havana is quite surreal the first time, if you can remember that far back, Jo. I remember thinking I had stepped into a musical.” 

“No-one forgets their first slice of our world, my queen. Not even old dinosaurs like me.” 

Esme broke into the conversation this time. “If you don’t mind my asking, Josephat, how old are you? I wasn’t aware of other immortals.” 

Jo mused thoughtfully. “Age is just a number here, lovely Esme. Once a Fae reaches 16 and goes through the choosing ceremony, they have all the rights and responsibilities of an adult, which they hold until they die. Still, I suppose I must be nearing about 900 now.” 

Edward and Carlisle blinked at him, and Jasper’s jaw hit the floor. Emmet whistled in a high, descending note. 

Bella, laughing, exclaimed, “That’s nothing! Kaedra must be past 4,000 by now. She’s old-school Egyptian, before the Romans even knew that part of the world existed. ” 

“Immortality is rare among the Fae, but a significant number of us have pursued the fire’s blessing. Some of us have lived to regret it.” Josephat’s face fell, and suddenly he looked his age. His love ran a hand down her companion’s arm, soothing him. 

The group headed to the staircase, which spiraled invitingly downward, towards the first floor. The city and the arena awaited them. 

They entered the large kitchen on the first floor, applause ringing through the dining hall as the lunchtime crowd caught sight of them. A frazzled Lizzie approached the group as the noontime bell rang out. 

“Lunch will be served swiftly, Bella. At least I hope so. There’s been an influx of people into Camp, and the soldiers are getting hungry.” 

Marcos blinked into existence at Lizzie’s side, shaking his head. “Are those knuckleheads harassing the kitchen staff again? I guess the extra drills weren’t enough to teach them manners. I apologize, Lizzie. I’ll go wrangle them.” 

He blinked away again, and Edward spied him across the hall, sneaking up on two young boys who were yelling at the cooks. 

“Man, Lizzie, I’m sorry too. I should’ve known better than to leave you in charge of the kitchens as well. We’ve got to be so understaffed.” 

Esme piped in eagerly. “I could help with that, Bella. You know how I love to cook, and it’ll be a challenge to feed such a large crowd.” 

Lizzie looked hopefully at Bella, who nodded. Esme linked her arms with Bella’s new head-of-house, tugging her towards the large pots boiling away on the stove with Rosalie tagging along behind them. “No time like the present, child. Show me what I have to work with.” 

As the entire population of the city sat down to share a meal together, Emmett and Jasper shot a longing glance at where the soldiers rough-housed over their meal. “Bella, why are there soldiers here?” Jasper enquired. 

Carlisle and Josephat’s soft conversation stopped next to him, and all eyes turned to Bella. 

The conversation was interrupted as Bella’s trouble-making Regent stepped up onto one of the long tables across from them, addressing Bella in a loud voice that rang over the crowd. 

“IN WHAT NAME DO YOU COME?” She shouted imperiously, music swelling behind her words. Bella straightened where she sat, lighting up like a firework had been shoved under her skin. She stood, taking Edward’s hand but encompassing the whole room in her song. 

If I told you this was only gonna hurt  
If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn  
Would you walk in?  
Would you let me do it first?  
Do it all in the name of love  
Would you let me lead you even when you're blind?  
In the darkness, in the middle of the night  
In the silence, when there's no one by your side  
Would you call in the name of love? 

In the name of love, name of love  
In the name of love, name of love 

In the name of  
In the name, name  
In the name, name 

If I told you we could bathe in all the lights  
Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky?  
Would you trust me when you're jumping from the heights?  
Would you fall in the name of love?  
When there's madness, when there's poison in your head  
When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed  
I will hold you in the depths of your despair  
And it's all in the name of love 

In the name of love, name of love  
In the name of love, name of love 

In the name of  
In the name, name  
In the name, name 

I wanna testify  
Scream in the holy light  
You bring me back to life  
And it's all in the name of love  
I wanna testify  
Scream in the holy light  
You bring me back to life  
And it's all in the name of love 

In the name of love, name of love  
In the name of love, name of love 

In the name of  
In the name, name  
In the name, name  
In the name of  
In the name, name  
In the name of love. 

Bella sank back to the ground from where she had levitated above them, and the crowd in the dining hall roared. Lovers exchanged passionate kisses as Kaedra faded into the background. The Fae rose up as one to accept their Queen, embracing Bella and the Cullens alike in exuberant hugs and bursts of verse. And Alice Cullen froze in her seat, eyes unfocused. 


	4. Vision- 4A

I’m so tired ya’ll. This story has been building in my head for years and putting it to paper had been exhausting in the extreme. I’m completely obsessed. Cheers to only 23 more chapters! 

This universe may expand into a series, if I survive the telling. 

This chapter is sort of a mini scene, a break in the story that tells you what you need to know from another tale- that of Shanarra and the Master. 

Alright, here we go. 

Reviews and Favorites are always, always cherished. 

**I Don’t Love You**

Alice’s world narrowed, until everything was fuzzy, except Kaedra’s form. Somehow, Alice felt herself falling into Kaedra’s gaze, seeing the world from her perspective. 

Scenes flashed past Alice’s vision, never fully-formed, but more than enough to damn Bella’s regent and friend:

Shanarra grew up in the ancient tribal times that Alice had heard Bella and the other Fae speak of in hushed, shameful tones. Alice was a silent watcher as Shanarra united the Fae, becoming the first Fae Queen with her proud love by her side. Her lover never fully stepped into the frame of Alice’s sight, remaining a shadowy, foreboding form dancing at the edge of her vision. 

Well, when you go  
So never think I'll make you try to stay  
And maybe when you get back  
I'll be off to find another way

Hundreds of years passed through Alice’s Sight like sand through an hourglass, faint impressions that never showed the whole story. Alice saw when Shanarra’s lover began to twist, his face turning ugly and cold, the shadows consuming him greedily. She saw a field littered with bodies and heard a shattering scream, before darkness and death consumed her field of vison, blackness exploding behind Alice’s fixed eyelids. 

Suddenly, Alice was looking at Bella, but not any Bella she wanted to know. Bella’s face was covered in dark make-up, dressed in leather pants and a sheer top, with a small vial glowing-blue in her hand. Unnatural ecstasy raged on Bella’s young face; her sister completely lost to the reality around her. Alice felt her hand move, reaching out without her permission to uncover Bella’s back, where on her left shoulder a barely-healed brand in a complex pattern was covered in deep red scratches that obscured 

the intended image. Forgotten nausea rolled in Alice’s gut. 

When after all this time that you still owe  
You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know  
So take your gloves and get out  
Baby, get out while you can

When you go  
And would you even turn to say  
I don't love you like I did yesterday

The scene flashed again, Bella still too-young as she screamed at Marcos, also younger and rougher-looking. A frenzied Bella struggled in her arms, fighting to do Marcos harm. There was respect here, and abiding protectiveness.

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading  
So sick and tired of all the needless beating  
But baby when they knock you down and out  
Is where you oughta stay

This time, a frazzled Lizzie stood before her, preventing her from entering the attic where Bella and those-those _vampires_ stayed, preventing her from stopping her friend from making a dangerous mistake-- 

And after all the blood that you still owe  
Another time was just another blow  
So fix your eyes and get up  
Baby, get up while you can

Bella’s body was still in her arms, growing cold as death consumed her sister’s empty shell. The shadowy form of Shanarra’s lover was back, and Alice unwillingly handed him Bella’s body, impossible tears flowing down her cheeks. Edward was aflame in the background, screaming as he burned to ash, but the rest of Alice’s family was nowhere to be seen. 

When you go  
And would you even turn to say  
I don't love you like I did yesterday

Well, come on, come on

When you go  
Would you have the guts to say  
"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"

The vision broke, and Alice gasped for unneeded air hard, focusing on the weight of Jasper’s arm around her waist and Edward’s steady, penetrating gaze on hers. She and her mind-reading brother turned as one to Bella’s regent and self-proclaimed friend, their faces becoming vampiric and predatory as they met the eyes of the first Queen of the Fae. Kaedra, no — Shannara looked back at them with wide, fearful eyes.

I don't love you like I loved you yesterday  
I don't love you like I loved you yesterday


	5. Trust

Ugh, real life. Yuck. 

Okay y’all. Things are about to get intense up in here for a second. This chapter turned out pretty brutal. Um…yeah. There’s a reason this story is Rated M. No violent smut just yet, but you have to know it is coming. So if this chapter makes you squirm, you might want to read something else. There are lots of lemons in this lemonade. 

For those of you who are sticking with me, KUDOS. You are LIFE. I hope you enjoy. 

REVIEWS are the only payment I receive for my writing work. They are the air I breathe. Please, let me know what you think! 

Links: 

Okay, so I cant get the links to show up properly on fanfiction’s site, but you should be able to access them by typing the basic URL and then copy and pasting what shows below. 

For Example: Type w w w. y o u t u b e .c o m into the URL bar, and then copy and paste /playlist/list=PL6eMph(w4WDc4RkkBdEgWuhE2Q9Oc7q behind it. 

YouTube: 

[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WDc4RkkBdEgWuhE2Q9Oc7q-](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WDc4RkkBdEgWuhE2Q9Oc7q-)

Spotify: 

[https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0TVBT6S2DdMkk1dvzbtpnr?si=csmUk-rzQbuijRxYcFBw9w](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0TVBT6S2DdMkk1dvzbtpnr?si=csmUk-rzQbuijRxYcFBw9w)

DeviantArt: 

[https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73107729/breakdown-chapter-4](https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73107729/breakdown-chapter-4)

Livejournal: 

Page Break 

**Bad Blood**

After Alice and Edward fairly leapt towards Kaedra, attacking her with intensity borne of predatory instinct, Bella was quick to lead the whole group out of the hall. Marcos was levitating Edward’s still-snarling frozen form and Kaedra was pale and shaking as she followed Bella. Bella’s back was to her, simultaneously showing trust in her and anger at her regent. 

“They attacked ME, Bella.” Kaedra was saying, when the shocked and angry mumbles of the crowd subsided enough that Carlisle could hear the rulers’ soft discussion. Bella’s response was terse and whisper-soft as she responded, filled with a heavy mistrust that Carlisle would not have expected of her. 

“Alice is a Seer, my friend, and Edward Sees with her. Tell me, Kaedra, what did they see that made them react in such a way?” 

They had reached the long, magnificent garden that sprawled out the castle’s front entrance, their hurried strides not slowing so Carlisle could take in his surroundings. Though Esme glanced longingly at the flower beds, Carlisle devoted his full attention to the conflict unfolding in subdued violence before him, straining to hear the hissing voices of the Queen and her Regent. 

Kaedra stopped dead in her tracks, her face calculating and terrible, humanity slipping away to reveal the cold machinery within. Carlisle felt his hackles rise; the hair on the back of his neck standing up, as the warrior hidden in the Fae was revealed. The air suddenly crackled, like that foggy Forks clearing where Bella had fought the Beetles. 

“You know.” It was a statement, not a question, and Kaedra’s face twisted into shame and confusion. 

“Of course I do, Kay. How could I not know? Sit.” 

They had reached a gazebo in a hidden space in the garden, a surreal clearing hidden from view by long-vine trellises that were half overgrown, the space wilder than the surrounding manicured land. The sun shined high in the sky. 

As Keadra and Bella sat under the shaded shelter of the gazebo, Carlisle noticed his sons. Emmett and Jasper were on either side of their still furious brother, but faced outward from where Bella sat, guards at their posts. Edward was hissing wildly, his hands arched into claws, but was still restrained by a focused Marcos, who was a few feet in front of him. Alice’s face was also twisted in fury, but she remained still of her own accord, motionless as only a vampire could be, with her eyes tracking Kaedra’s every move. Her hand extended behind her to tangle with Jasper’s, their backs turned to one another but still connected. Rosalie was behind his Fae daughter, one hand on Bella’s shoulder as she glared at Kaedra, daring her to make a move. Esme’s hand was tangled in his, and her eyes were fixed on Isabella, looking to her for cues. 

His family was in full battle mode, and Carlisle had no understanding of what was going on. 

Page Break 

**DONTTRUSTME**

Bella materialized a gilded book from thin air. The cover of the thick journal was unassuming, a worn black leather that had cracked with age, it’s binding handwoven and stained with old blood. Though the book was not unusual in appearance, Carlisle felt heavy with the evil that radiated from it. He crossed himself. 

His motion drew Bella’s gaze to him, and she motioned to the third chair sitting near her at the table, beckoning him to sit down silently. 

Carlisle sat, and Bella slammed the worn tome on the table with sparking fingertips, looking at her friend with betrayal casting dark shadows on her face. However, when she turned to him, her face melted into serenity. 

“I’ve known Kaedra for a minute. She, Marcos, and I met during a dark period in my life, one when I wasn’t acting as a queen should.” The scent of blood hinted in the air, the binding spell warning his daughter to cease speaking. 

“I had to run, to hide in the human world. I gave up my title and fled Havana. But before I lived in Forks, I lived in Miami for about a year. I would've destroyed myself there, tried to. I was consumed with wanting to forget.” Bella’s expression had grown regretful as she spoke, and Carlisle tried not to think of Bella’s file, the medical jargon that hid the brutality inflicted on his chosen kin. “Kaedra and Marcos kept me ticking, and I trusted them without consideration.” Carlisle could be nothing but grateful to the two rough friends who were so close to Bella in this strange place. 

Bella motioned towards the book, its evil tainting the atmosphere around them. “It took me forever to find it again.” she said, turning to face Kaedra with disappointment on her face. “Did you know then? Who I was?” 

“I figured it out. You were pretty raw.” Kaedra’s voice was soft and subdued, horror and grief in her tone. “I didn’t-- I don’t mean you any harm Isa. I truly do care for you, more than I have any right to.” 

“I know. It’s the only thing saving you from the edge of my blade.” Suddenly frustrated, Bella jerked up from the table, shaking off Rosalie’s hand gently and beginning to pace. “’You don’t deny it then? That you are the Master’s lover?” 

“Would it make you feel better if I did?” 

“Maybe; I don’t know.” Bella ran her hands through her long hair. “God-- Kay, how can I ever trust you again? How can I allow you to remain here, near those it is my duty to care for? You destroyed my life; I won’t let you destroy theirs.” 

Bella’s clenched fist erupted in flames at her side, and black began to expand from her pupils quickly, before Bella shut her eyes on a hopeless sigh and sank back into her chair. She turned once more to Carlisle. 

“Interwoven in the history of the Fae is the same story, over and over.” She motioned Marcos to approach the table as she spoke, and blood began to pool in her mouth as her lips split and cracked. “It’s the story of Shannara, the first Queen of the Fae, and her lover—who we know only as The Master. His name, if ever he had one, is lost to history.” 

Marcos picked up the explanation, turning to consider Kay with wide eyes and releasing his telekinetic hold on Edward; who rushed to pull Bella into his lap, hiding her bleeding face in his chest. 

“The Master is responsible for the most shameful act in all of Fae history, The Purge, where the Ipswitch line was murdered for their magick and consumed by the Master’s greed. See, Shanarra and the Master ruled in harmony for hundreds of years. They established the Choosing, the Temple, the School. They united the fighting Fae bloodlines with nothing more than the force of their will. But the Master was jealous of Shannara’s poise and power. Shannara was almost equal in exceptional power to Isabella.” 

Bella picked up the story once more. “Shannara turned a blind eye to the Master’s greed because of her love for him. But after the Ipswitch line was massacred--” 

Bella choked, and Marcos cut in. “Shannara had no choice but to face her lover on the battlefield. After a long, fierce battle, she held the Master at her mercy, but she found herself unable to kill her husband. Shannara bound the Master in her grimoire, trapping him for all eternity in its pages. Then, she buried herself alive with the book to keep it hidden.” 

Marcos’s face twisted into anger and sadness, empathy making him reach towards Edward’s lover with a gentle touch. “Bella, Adeline, and Fiore found Shannara’s grimoire somehow, and –in desperation and ignorance- they released the Master from its pages. No one really knows what happened after that, only that Adeline died, and Bella disappeared before The Master started his dark revolution.” 

“I had the pleasure of meeting Bella shortly after her ordeal, and I can tell you that when I met her, her soul was badly wounded. Kaedra came along shortly after that; she worked at the same club as Bella. “ 

Carlisle reeled under the information laid out before him, like a case before a judge. He had so many questions that remained unanswered, but his train of thought was interrupted by Bella, who had turned to look at her regent with condemnation written on her face. 

“Of course, if I had known who you were, I would've run for the hills a lot sooner. Allow me to re-introduce you, Marcos. Marcos Ipswitch, meet Shannara Salem, formerly known as Kaedra.” 

Shockwaves echoed through the small clearing, and soft guitar began to play. 

**The Pretender**

Bella’s face was terrible: sad and cold and angry and betrayed. She spoke in a rhythmic whisper as she stood calmly from Edward’s grasp. Kaedra stood too, stepping to the side of the table furthest from Carlisle. 

Keep you in the dark  
You know they all pretend  
Keep you in the dark  
And so it all began 

A drum kicked to life, and Bella did too. She reached for Keadra’s throat, but Keadra intercepted her jab, sweeping it aside as she swung into a high kick that caught Bella across the jaw. Bella slammed into the table, sending it skittering off the gazebo’s platform, and Carlisle had to leap out the way. Edward rushed to his daughter’s side, helping her up as Bella wiped blood from her chin. 

Send in your skeletons  
Sing as their bones go marching in, again  
The need you buried deep  
The secrets that you keep are ever ready  
Are you ready? 

Fury flashed across Bella’s face, and when Edward focused his eyes on hers, her pupils were twice the size they should have been, fighting with shimmering gold to dominate his lover’s eyes. The ground started to shake beneath them; and all around the clearing, plants grew wicked sharp thorns that flew at Kaedra. 

I'm finished making sense  
Done pleading ignorance  
That whole defense 

Bella intercepted Kaedra, who was busy dodging the foot-long thorns that flew at her heart. She slammed her regent into a post that supported the roof of the gazebo and a crack was wrenched into the ceiling above them. 

Spinning infinity, boy  
The wheel is spinning me  
It's never-ending, never-ending  
Same old story 

Kaedra tried to headbutt Bella, who used her forward momentum against her, throwing Keadra into a thistle of thorns on the trellis, vines immediately strangling her lying friend. Kaedra was blue before she managed to cut her way free of the thorns, her nails suddenly inches long and wicked-sharp. 

What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender  
What if I say I will never surrender?  
What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender  
What if I say that I'll never surrender? 

When Kaedra lunged, Bella was ready for her. The two furious girls exchanged rapid fire punches and kicks, and Edward knew that –had he been human- their forms would’ve been a blur. He ran towards his love, followed closely by Marcos. When they were three feet away from the intense battle, fire sprouted from nowhere, separating the fighters from the rest of the group, and Marcos cursed loudly, spraying water from his palm that turned to ice around the fire; before melting away with no effect on the roaring flames. “Bella’s doing this. Dammit- she needs help!” 

In time our soul untold  
I'm just another soul for sale, oh well  
The page is out of print  
We are not permanent  
We're temporary, temporary 

Kaedra screamed, “Same old story” in response to the song, which was growing louder in the space, the music ringing across the cavern. She kicked Bella squarely in the midriff, and Bella; for all her power, was still shorter and thinner than Kaedra. She flew across the clearing and hit a tree that fell at the impact, a thump on the shaking ground. Edward heard bones cracking. Kaedra used the pause in the fight to extend her outspread hand upwards. Thunderclouds blocked out the sun. 

What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender  
What if I say that I'll never surrender?  
What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender  
What if I say that I'll never surrender? 

When Bella got up from where she lay crumpled at the foot of the now-fallen tree, her eyes were moonless night, her movements snake-like and slow as she stalked towards Kaedra, heedless of the lightning that always seemed to just miss her. Ice ghosted her breath as she sang, and out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw Esme running for cover from the sudden baseball sized hail that avoided his mother but flew past her to hit Kaedra hard in the chest. 

I'm the voice inside your head  
You refuse to hear  
I'm the face that you have to face  
Mirrored in your stare  
I'm what's left, I'm what's right  
I'm the enemy  
I'm the hand that will take you down  
Bring you to your knees 

Bella’s fury was peaking on her face, her words screaming out through the Camp. Lightening was striking the ground near Kaedra now, and the fire that separated Marcos and the Cullens from the battle raged higher. Alice shrank from the heat of the flames, hiding her face in Jasper’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her helplessly. Edward struggled to see through the flames. 

So who are you?  
Yeah, who are you?  
Yeah, who are you?  
Yeah, who are you? 

Bella ran directly at Keadra, who was struggling to move as ice spread from her chest to immobilize her. But when the regent closed her eyes in anticipation of death, the music suddenly softened and slowed. Bella had Kaedra’s jaw captive in a tight grip, meeting her friend’s eyes as her whisper rang through the clearing. 

Keep you in the dark  
You know they all pretend 

Bella licked the side of Kaedra’s face in a long stroke before releasing her, the fire in front of the Cullens dying out suddenly as Marcos shot forward through the flames, unharmed. 

What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender  
What if I say I will never surrender?  
What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender  
What if I say that I'll never surrender? 

So who are you?  
Yeah, who are you?  
Yeah, who are you? 

Bella pinned Kaedra to the shaking earth in a provocative pose, her legs spreading on either side of the regent with Bella’s weight braced on Kaedra’s hips. Her face was inches away from Kay, and her eyes were black as pitch. 

Page Break 

**bad guy**

The music paused and so did Edward, trying to process the sudden change of atmosphere in this dangerous situation. A new song started and as he watched, Kaedra arched her back under his lover, her hands rising to brush Bella’s breasts and nipples as they slunk downwards, towards Bella’s hips in a long, sensual stroke. 

White shirt now red, my bloody nose  
Sleepin', you're on your tippy toes  
Creepin' around like no one knows  
Think you're so criminal 

The beat was pulsing and deep, the ground still shaking, beginning to pour heat from its surface. Smoke and steam rose in the silent air. 

  
Bruises on both my knees for you  
Don't say thank you or please  
I do what I want when I'm wanting to  
My soul? So cynical 

Bella released her hold on Kaedra and backed away slowly, her hands raised in defense, and panic on her face. 

So you're a tough guy  
Like it really rough guy  
Just can't get enough guy  
Chest always so puffed guy  
I'm that bad type  
Make your mama sad type  
Make your girlfriend mad tight  
Might seduce your dad type 

Kaedra slithered up from the ground to stand, poised across from Bella’s fearful form. 

I'm the bad guy 

Even as frightened as Bella seemed to be, snark briefly flitted across her face. “Duh.” Kaedra met the Queen’s eyes, smirking as she tilted her head towards Edward’s approaching form. 

I'm the bad guy 

Suddenly, Edward was the one pinned against the side of the gazebo as Kaedra whispered in his ear. 

I like it when you take control  
Even if you know that you don't  
Own me, I'll let you play the role  
I'll be your animal 

Kaedra rolled her head into the side of Edward’s neck like a cat, turning her face towards Carlisle a few feet away. 

My mommy likes to sing along with me  
But she won't sing this song  
If she reads all the lyrics  
She'll pity the men I know 

Kaedra ground her hips into Edward’s groin, and Edward closed his eyes for a moment as lust and adrenaline pulsed through his head, unnaturally amplified. 

So you're a tough guy  
Like it really rough guy  
Just can't get enough guy  
Chest always so puffed guy  
I'm that bad type  
Make your mama sad type  
Make your girlfriend mad tight  
Might seduce your dad type  
I'm the bad guy, duh 

When Edward opened his eyes, his vision was full of Kaedra’s face, her gaze wide and pleading as a seductive pout pursed the beautiful woman’s lips. 

I'm the bad guy, duh 

I'm only good at being bad, bad 

Keadra kissed him. For a moment, Edward froze as the unnatural lust in his system pushed him to respond, before he threw Kaedra from him violently. The regent caught herself in mid-air, turning gracefully to touch her bare feet to the suddenly still ground. Her eyes were consumed with black. 

I like when you get mad  
I guess I'm pretty glad that you're alone  
You said she's scared of me?  
I mean, I don't see what she sees  
But maybe it's 'cause I'm wearing your cologne 

The woman was approaching him, gentle sway in her hips with each carefully placed step. She reached for his face, spreading her palm to brush her fingers against his temples. Edward was helpless, frozen in place. 

I'm a bad guy  
I'm, I'm a bad guy  
Bad guy, bad guy  
I'm a bad 

There was a sudden intake of breath from Bella, who had flashed next to them, her eyes also consumed and holding the cross guard of roses in her hand. Her blade was fully extended, and the tip of her sword rested on Kaedra’s pulse. 

Page Break 

**Girl with One Eye**

She told me not to step on the cracks  
I told her not to fuss and relax  
Pretty little face stopped me in my tracks  
But now she sleeps with one eye open  
That's the price she'll pay 

Bella’s eyes were fixed on his, serenity on her face as they faded back to innocent brown. When she turned sideways to face Kaedra, her face twisted into animal-like pleasure, and she forced Keadra to back away from Edward by increasing the pressure of the blade at her throat. 

I took a knife and cut out her eye  
I took it home and watched it wither and die  
Well, she's lucky that I didn't slip her a smile  
That's why she sleeps with one eye open  
That's the price she'll pay 

Bella slapped Keadra with the flat of the sword she wielded, leaving an already-darkening bruise and knocking her to the floor. 

I said, hey, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie  
I said, hey, girl with one eye  
I'll cut your little heart out 'cause you made me cry 

When Kaedra began to run, realizing the tables had turned, Bella pinned her swiftly against the railing of the gazebo by her hips. The sultry song continued as Bella slid a hand up Kaedra’s bare leg. 

I slipped my hand under her skirt  
I said don't worry, it's not gonna hurt  
Oh, my reputation's kinda clouded with dirt  
That's why you sleep with one eye open  
But that's the price you pay 

Bella moved smoothly, rocking her hips to meet Kaedra’s and rolling against them in two long, circular grinds that made Kaedra gasp and throw back her head in pleasure. Bella’s right hand moved from where it had rested against Keadra’s waist, shaking as it reached up to clutch Kaedra’s jaw. She forced Kaedra to meet her gaze as her left arm rose, sword still extended, towards the regent’s fixed face. 

I said, hey, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie  
I said, hey, girl with one eye  
I'll cut your little heart out 'cause you made me cry 

A strangled, halting gasp escaped Kaedra as her left eye was destroyed, Bella’s blade caressing her from brow to cheekbone slowly and digging into the soft organ. 

You made me cry  
You made me cry  
You made me cry 

Bella threw Keadra to the floor and stepped away from her, scraping the table that held Shanarra’s grimoire back into place telekinetically and resettling her flipped-over chair before levitating the other two chairs back into place. The sword retracted, her arm sealing whole once more, save for the thick red line that was the only hint to its existence. 

I said, hey, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie  
I said, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out my pie 

Isabella Swan; Queen of the Fae; sat down in the ornate chair, her eyes consumed with golden fire as she leaned forward with intensity in her voice, clutching the armrests of the chair to hold herself back from further violence. 

I said, hey, girl with one eye  
Get your filthy fingers out of my pie  
I said, hey, girl with one eye  
I'll cut your little heart out if you make me cry 

Page Break 

**Viva la Vida**

Keadra wiped at the blood pouring down her face from where she had collapsed on the floor; clutching at the empty socket on her face when the close contact with the wound made her wince. 

Bella, by contrast, was resplendent and poised; perched lightly on the chair with her legs crossed at the knee and her hands resting on her lap. Her posture gave no sign of having been in battle, though a scrape on her cheek bled slowly, leaving tracks on her face. 

Kaedra scrambled up from where she had fallen, and hurried into her chair across from Bella. The girls were on equal standing once more, despite the wounds that marred them. Brown eyes met across the grimoire, a thousand years of history separating the friends and rulers. 

Carlisle waited with bated breath, blind to what would happen next. When Bella looked at him, eyes golden fire, he too pulled out his chair and sat, pale doctor’s hands shaking. Bella turned to him, asking with a light touch on his hand if he was okay. He nodded, and verses spilled from her mouth. 

I used to rule the world  
Seas would rise when I gave the word  
Now in the morning, I sleep alone  
Sweep the streets I used to own 

Bella’s eyes flared a brighter, paler gold; and the thunderclouds shifted, sunlight slanting through the garden in stained-glass tones. 

I used to roll the dice  
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes  
Listen as the crowd would sing  
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! 

One minute I held the key  
Next the walls were closed on me  
And I discovered that my castles stand  
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand 

She turned to Kaedra, whose wound faded to a delicate scar that didn’t detract from her beauty, though her eyelid hung slack. Wonder painted the disgraced regent’s face. 

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing  
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing  
Be my mirror, my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field  
For some reason I can't explain  
Once you go there was never, never a honest word  
And that was when I ruled the world 

His daughter’s tone became musing, Bella speaking her thoughts aloud with determination. 

It was a wicked and wild wind  
Blew down the doors to let me in  
Shattered windows and the sound of drums  
People couldn't believe what I'd become 

Revolutionaries wait  
For my head on a silver plate  
Just a puppet on a lonely string  
Oh, who would ever want to be king? 

Bella reached across the table, extending her hand towards Kaedra’s awe-struck form. 

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing  
Roman Calvary choirs are singing  
Be my mirror, my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field  
For some reason I can't explain  
I know Saint Peter won't call my name  
Never an honest word  
But that was when I ruled the world 

Kaedra took Bella’s hand, and white light streamed from where their palms touched. It spread to engulf the evil of the book, and the Cullens had to shield their eyes from the brightness. When they looked back at the scene, all that remained of Shanarra’s grimoire was a pile of ash on the table, already blowing away in the breeze. 

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing  
Roman Calvary choirs are singing  
Be my mirror, my sword and shield  
My missionaries in a foreign field  
For some reason I can't explain  
I know Saint Peter won't call my name  
Never an honest word  
But that was when I ruled the world 

Page Break 

**Lean On**

Over the next week, the Cullens adjusted to life in Havana. They ate breakfast with Bella in the mornings, usually interrogating her about innocuous subjects they had read about the night before. Kaedra stayed away, doing her job with a friendly polite demeanor, but with an air of distance. 

Edward was absolutely flabbergasted by Bella’s easy forgiveness of Kaedra, with the grace she explained away Kaedra’s wound, keeping Kaedra’s identity to herself. She instructed the Cullens and Marcos to speak about it to no one. 

Marcos, on the other hand, was quickly becoming the main annoyance in Edward’s life, his flirtatious interactions with Bella driving Edward to heights of jealousy he had never known. 

What was worse was that Bella often responded, gifting Marcos with her beautiful blush as she laughed with ease. When Edward visited Esme in the kitchens, he had heard two cooks mention how nice it was that the Queen got on so well with her commander. He was chased away by his mother for denting her “good cast-iron, Edward, really?” 

Carlisle was spending his days training to become a healer with Josephat and checked on Bella’s broken ribs every evening. Jo had laughed in Carlisle’s face and healed Bella’s broken bones with a simple touch upon their return from the gardens. He promised Carlisle would know real healing one day, not that “western medical mumbo-jumbo". 

Alice was training with the Fae seers, a creepy bunch with clouded white-eyes; who Bella had introduced to her the day after the Big Friendly Fight, as Alice called it. She had warned Alice heavily that true Sight was a heavy burden to bear and to respect destiny’s hand in the future and the past. “Seeing destiny is different from seeing pathways Alice. Remember the story of Cassandra, in Rome? Destiny does as She wills.” 

“Do you have Sight, Bella?” 

“It’s complicated. But yes, I have had a great many visions in my life. Not all of them good, or easy to bear.” 

Jasper spent most of his days in the library with Rosalie, and Emmet or Edward often joined them; though Emmett would start to loudly complain after a few hours about cricks in his neck. 

Edward joined Bella in her day-to-day activities most of the time, though he was vague about state affairs with his family. Truth is, Edward was desperately worried for his lover, who’s days were long and difficult. It seemed everyone needed Bella right that instant: that dragon destroyed my roof Isabella; He didn’t pay for that apple, your majesty; what’s your plan for this, my queen; what’s your plan for that. Edward was about to lose his mind from the constant questioning and expectations, and he didn’t need to sleep! Any spare time she had, Bella spent locked in her office on the second floor, Edward rubbing the tenseness from her shoulders and reminding her of small details while she filled out paperwork. 

The one part of Bella’s day where Edward refused to accompany her, was her training period. He simply couldn’t deal with the sparring and tussles that often broke out and took full report from an amused Josephat and Carlisle after each session, as to Bella’s injuries. 

Bella didn’t sleep much anymore, but Edward let it slide and the rest of the Cullens didn’t really notice. 

That is until the day Kaedra came into the attic with Bella slumped against one shoulder. She sighed upon seeing the Cullens stiff, attack-ready forms, and levitated Bella softly onto the futon. 

“She just needs sleep. Isa never learned the candle is only supposed to burn from one end. I found her passed out on the training grounds. 

Keadra approached Bella on the bed cautiously, meeting Edward’s eyes and raising her hands as she approached. She brushed a lock of hair out of Bella’s sleeping face and turned to leave the attic. 

Blow a kiss, fire a gun  
We need someone to lean on  
Blow a kiss, fire a gun  
All we need is somebody to lean on 


	6. Karma

It’s ridiculous how exhausting this is, but the second I’m finished with one chapter, I immediately start another. This is a roller-coaster ride, and I think I’m gonna be sick. 

Links: 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/36ICbRKcDhpWTpmWVuM8XS?si=X-CfMJmDSbmMBMayHJwBHg 

Livejournal: 

https://breakdown1992.livejournal.com/1829.html 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WCK7oXRm9p2YPuszXU_9TpJ 

Deviantart: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73111571/breakdown-chapter-5-karma 

Page Break

One Jump Ahead 

The Cullens and Bella were hunkered down for the evening, Carlisle reading a medical tome and Esme going over budgets on the futon across from the one that served as Bella and Edward’s bed. Jasper and Bella were playing chess again, as Bella was determined to learn and seemed oblivious to the guilty tension the game caused. Bella sat in Edward’s lap at the table; and Alice and Rosalie were designing dresses that Bella had offered to create for them, legs swinging in the air on the futon-bed like preteens getting ready for prom. Edward mourned that his sisters’ scents would be mixed with Bella’s on their covers. 

A big political gala was coming up soon, and Bella had formally requested the presence of the Cullen line early that morning. She had scoffed at the event. “It’s just a bunch of pomp and circumstance to impress the financial backers. They have to see a pretty face now and then, so we can keep them lining our wallets. But it will be a good time to formally introduce you guys to the population at large.” 

Edward knew something about this gala that his family didn’t. Though Bella had scoffed in front of his family, she had shared her worries with him in the privacy of her office. Two bloodlines were resuscitating old and bitter blood because some long-dead rebellious member of the endangered Ipswitch line had killed a member of the Spellman line a thousand years ago. New hatred had sprung up after the Spellman heiress had Chosen with an Ipswitch woman, who was one of the last remaining Ipswitch heirs and was apparently quite a rebel herself. The Ipswitch-line had been nasty and accusatory when the Spellman heiress disappeared without a trace. 

The bloodlines were both important to Bella’s forces, and were threatening to pull their backing of Bella’s resistance if she didn’t banish the other one from Camp. The gala was officially Bella’s re-introduction to the complicated political system of the Fae; but privately, Bella was hoping her return could set things to rights between the two. 

Bella won the chess game with a pawn-capture, as had been happening more and more often over the last week; much to Jasper’s dismay. She gave Edward a celebratory kiss on the cheek with a twinkle in her eye. 

“Well, now that I’m done showing Jasper who is queen of the strategy board, let's do something fun!” Bella was childishly gleeful. “Come on guys, let’s play hooky!” 

Just then, Kaedra and Marcos entered the attic, carrying stacks of paperwork and arguing loudly. Lizzie trailed behind them and looked amused. “I’m telling you Marcos, Spellman has the right of it. And if you don’t quit calling me Shay-shay, I’m going to shove these forms down your throat. Maybe then I won’t have to fill them out.” 

“The gang’s all here!” Bella exclaimed, breaking in before the snarl could fully form on Marcos’ face and levitating the paperwork to rest on the already-teetering stack by the futon. “Come on you three, we’re taking the Cullens to the market. They’ve hardly been out of HQ, and there is a lot of Havana to see.” 

Kaedra and Lizzie blinked at Bella. “Me?” said Lizzie. “But I’m just-- “ 

“I believe we already spoke about just Lizzie, Ms. Spellman. I do not like to repeat myself. You’re coming. Come-on, let's go have some fun.” 

Bella dramatically flopped onto her back in Edward’s arms, putting a hand to her forehead and attempting to fake a faint. “I’m tired of monk-life, and it's so pretty out. Let’s go to the bazaar. Please?” 

His love met Carlisle’s steady gaze, and Carlisle snapped his book, entitled “Chakras and Me”, closed with a snap. “There’s no harm in it.” Carlisle surrendered. “I’ve been quite curious to see the markets; Esme hasn’t been quiet about them since her visit.” 

His mother rolled her eyes affectionately, tugging Alice up from the futon and extending her hand to assist Rosalie as well. 

“That’s settled then!” Bella clapped her hands together and leapt to a standing position. “Let’s go!” The Cullens glanced, bemused, at their simple outfits, blue-jeans and dark colored shirts for the men, and pale-neutral skirts for the women. They all matched and everyone was barefoot. Marcos, Kaedra, and Bella’s outfits hadn’t changed, though Bella’s hair had wrapped her head in a simple, braided crown, and Lizzie was in a cute country-style skirt and top that revealed lots of skin. 

“Admit it Bella, you like playing barbie as much as I ever did,” Alice quipped, skipping to the door. 

“Maybe I do, but I’m so much faster at it than you.” 

They walked out of the castle and towards the Bazaar that clung to the long, wide shelf in the cavern roof, and Emmett managed not to flinch as gravity shifted around them, the group sticking to the ceiling of the cavern like suckers were on their feet with no discernable problem. “Trippy.” he muttered softly. 

Contrary to popular opinion, Emmett was not an idiot. He just kept his observations to himself most of the time. Like if Edward couldn’t tell that there used to be a deeper relationship between Bella and Marcos, that was his business. What kind of mind-reader couldn’t identify his girl’s ex-man? 

Emmett could tell something was up with this sudden trip to the market, that Bella had an ulterior motive here. Actually, Emmett had noticed Bella to have multiple motivations for almost everything she did, even before he knew she was a witch. How his brothers didn’t notice Bella’s cleverness before now was a mystery Emmett had given up trying to solve. 

So, he kept his eyes peeled for anything unusual in the market, a challenge considering the magic that overflowed from every gravity-defying stall. 

Rosalie, on the other hand, didn’t know or care why Bella had brought them here. The bazaar stretched like an impossible maze, each nook and cranny leading to another small world. Bright fabrics in surreal patterns and colors surrounded her, interspersed with magical lights and charms of all shapes and sizes. A merchant was yelling over the crowd about his love potions, and Rosalie spied two women haggling over a plump plucked chicken at one of the stalls. The sound of negotiation and haggling was music to her ears, and she clutched at Alice, who looked just as awe-struck. The scent of spices almost drowned out the smell of blood, and Rosalie couldn’t hear any heartbeats over the lively blend of music and speech. Hunger had bothered Rosalie more since her encounter with the beetles. 

In places, the market hung four stories down from the roof of the grand cavern, giant stalactites of sandstone housing homes and businesses alike. 

“Heaven, oh it’s heaven.” Rosalie stated, and she heard Bella laugh, amused at her family’s wonder. 

“Go, Rosalie; Alice. Shop ‘till you drop. Try not to get swindled either.” Bella said, handing each of her sisters a bag full of golden coins and dark rubies. “The rubies are enchanted by me personally, and the merchants will know how to check the value of the gems. The coins are like hundreds, so don’t trade them for an apple. Take Marcos and Emmett with you in case someone gives you a hard time.” Bella handed a larger sack to Esme and Carlisle. Whispering in such a way that only vampires could hear, she instructed Esme to buy some nice things for Elizabeth, who sorely needed to de-stress. 

Marcos saluted and turned to the two excited girls. “Shall we, my ladies?” 

“Dude, you have no idea what you just got signed up for.” Emmett complained. 

Carlisle and Esme wandered off with Lizzie, leaving Jasper, Kaedra, Bella, and Edward behind. Edward was surprised his brother had not gone with his wife, but read in his thoughts that he wished to lend support to Bella, who had not spent extended time with Kaedra since the battle in the garden. 

In Jasper’s thoughts, Edward read the nervousness and apprehension rolling off his love, though nothing but chipper excitement showed in her face and tone. 

Jasper’s private suspicions were confirmed as Bella tip-toed her way from stall to stall, picking at the items and explaining magical bits and bobs to them eagerly, but with a distracted air. He was still struggling to accept this new creature who had replaced the shy girl his brother had dated in Forks, and he knew Carlisle struggled too. He had spent long hours in the library looking for Fae weaknesses and finding only a handful. 

One of those weaknesses was the choosing ceremony. The ritual was performed once a year, among Fae who had reached adulthood at sixteen years old. It was all bursting with magical hoopla about auras and destiny, but Jasper figured it served to disperse power with some sort of equality among the Fae. 

The ritual “reads the destiny” of the subject, whatever that meant, and pairs them off with their chosen mate, usually someone of complimentary affinities. The two Fae were bound together, their very souls entwined. Though the relationships could be between lovers, they didn’t have to be. The two Fae were bound to one another even beyond death; according to the thick, ancient tome Jasper had found on the subject, filled with spidery writing he had to squint to see. The process reminded Jasper of the Quileute's imprinting abilities, though there was nothing unintentional about this ceremony. Mates were chosen for their personalities and “destinies”, yes; but also for their alliances and power. If one of the pair died, the other would go mad with grief, often killing themselves. 

Jasper idly wondered who Bella’s chosen was, careful to mask his thoughts from his brother. Edward had gotten good at breaking through his vampire family’s defenses, reading multiple trains-of-thought in their minds now. His mind-reading brother was very annoyed to discover the only thing he could read in Fae minds were the songs; Bella was still silent to him. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Jasper saw a round-faced, dark haired woman pluck a loaf of bread off the baker’s passing cart, carrying on her path quickly with her stolen prize. “Stop, thief!” the baker cried, and the slim Hispanic girl with the startling-blue eyes took off in a dead sprint, soldiers blinking to where she had stood and giving chase across the crowded market. 

Bella turned from her perusal of good luck charms with her eyes still shimmering slightly golden, and chortled as she took in the scene. 

The girl scampered down the tallest stalactite at the center of the market, while the guards stubbed their toes and tripped, cursing. Crates and bits of fabric were moving of their own accord to block their path. Jasper felt Bella’s fleeting annoyance and disappointment at the young guards’ lack of competency, though Bella’s primary emotions were variations on ‘amused’. 

At one point in their fumbling quest for the girl-thief, a live bird squawked into the guards faces as their quarry flipped to balance on a thin clothesline above the guards, going over their heads and back the way she had come. 

The girl turned a corner and smacked into Marcos, startlement on her suddenly pale face. She raced away from the commander, unwisely bracing herself against a thatch roof as she tried to escape through height. The roof collapsed, and the thief was caught up in the shifting gravity around the marketplace. Suddenly flailing, she began the long fall to the floor of the cavern below the floating arena. The fall would surely kill her, and Jasper heard a collective gasp ring through the space. 

Bella rolled her eyes, taking a moment to set down the charm in her hand before she blinked to the girl-thief's side, hugging her close and flashing back to the walkway in front of Edward and Jasper. She dumped the dark-haired girl on the ground. “Your luck never ceases to amaze, Alexandra.” 

The pretty young woman sprung up from her sprawl at Bella’s feet, dusting off her backside and straightening her hair, still holding the loaf of bread she had stolen. “Hey Iz. Nice save. Why the hell are you dressed like that?” Bella cast her eyes downward, suddenly ashamed, and Jasper wondered if his face had looked like Alexandra’s did now, when he had discovered Bella’s status. 

“Oh hell no.” Alexandra turned her back to Isabella, attempting to stalk away before the baker with the cart was suddenly in front of her, cursing as he snatched the bread from her hand and hit her over the head with it. Bella smoothly handed the man a small pouch, “For your trouble, honorable sir.” she schmoozed, gripping her acquaintance hard around the bicep. The baker bowed, looking thrilled, and handing the weaponized loaf of bread back to Alex, who took a snarky bite. 

Marcos approached quickly, his arms loaded with bags and bolts of fabric that he dissolved away as he approached. Jasper knew they would be waiting at the attic when the day was done. “Everything okay here? Bella, you o--, Oh no. It’s you. You’re that con artist Isa was so fond of. What the hell are you doing here?” 

“I was just passing through.” Alexandra pouted. “But now, apparently, I’m serving my fucking Queen, because I owe her one. Well, two. Okay, -- three tops.” 

Page Break

I’m Alright 

Edward was appalled at the young lady’s language and told her so. Alexandra looked at him like he had told her he was from Mars and turned to Isabella. “Who’s this shmuck?” 

“Be nice, Alex. That’s Edward, he’s mine.” Strange pride and no small amount of arousal rose in Edward’s mind. Bella met his gaze for a heartbeat, teasing, before she was distracted by the gagging noises Alex made. “Oh god, please save the eye-sex for when I’m not around. You were like twelve when I knew you.” Bella laughed boisterously. “I was almost seventeen by then!” she exclaimed, and Alexandra reached towards Bella, smushing her cheeks together. “Such a wee little lamb, all grown up and Queen of the world. Shit, Bella. I thought I played a long-game.” 

Bella laughed, and her voice became rhythmic, the Fae in the marketplace bursting into colorful dance around her. 

Well it's been a long time, glad to see your face   
I knew we'd meet again another time, another place   
Can't believe it's been so many years   
We better grab a chair and a couple of beers 

Bella swung her legs over a small iron railing and landed cross-legged on a barstool, her grace extraordinary now that she was no longer suppressing her magick. Crown or no crown, Bella would always shine the brightest in the room to Edward, especially when she was happy. 

You're lookin' good in your three piece suit   
You know I always knew you'd take the business route   
You were always the one who followed the light and   
You look like you're doing alright 

Bella was happy right now, and Edward let himself relax, getting swept up in the color and movement around him. Music had always been close to Edward’s heart, but he had never been fond of country. Now he could see the story behind the song, and he treasured the singing voice of his angel, the different style bringing out the innocence in her. 

I've been singing for my rent and singing for my supper   
I'm above the below and below the upper   
I'm stuck in the middle where things get tight   
But i guess I'm doing alright 

I'm all, I'm all, I'm alright   
It's a beautiful day, not a cloud in sight   
So I guess I'm doing alright   
Oh, oh I'm alright   
Got a good ole friend here with me tonight   
So I guess I'm doing alright 

Bella motioned to Jasper and Edward with a broad motion as she sang, and Edward noticed that Carlisle and Esme had joined the group. She addressed them, and the attention of the Fae around them shifted to the vampire newcomers with welcoming warmth. 

Well we raised a lot of hell when we were younger   
They thought we were crazy but we had the hunger   
We kept a lot of friends and skipped a lot of class   
Been on top of the world and knocked on our ass 

Bella’s attention was on Alex completely now, though she sipped at her expensive whiskey (“on the house, majesty”) casually. She jostled Alex’s elbow as the girl attempted to drink her own beer, spilling it down Alex’s front. 

Lost touch, we lost in love   
And lost our minds when things got tough   
But beating time is a losing fight   
But I guess I'm doing alright 

I'm all, I'm all, I'm alright   
It's a beautiful day, not a cloud in sight   
So I guess I'm doing alright   
Oh, oh I'm alright   
Got a good ole friend here with me tonight   
So I guess I'm doing alright 

Bella used the spill as an excuse to materialize a fancy, floor length dress for the girl that bloomed with vines and butterflies. The exceptionally flattering dress made Alexandra wince, turning to Bella before her face fell slack with shock. Lizzie was on the far side of the square, dancing with a girl-toddler under the watchful eyes of the clumsy child’s mother. 

Well I hate to see this evening end   
God only knows when I'll see you again   
Send a fax or send me a letter   
Or give me a call that will even be better   
Give the wife a kiss for me   
And say hello to the family   
Tell them all my future's looking bright and I miss them   
But I'm doing alright 

“Huh?” Alex had been completely distracted by the sight of Lizzie, and Jasper felt dark, complex emotions welling up in her, along with a desperation that didn’t show when she spoke. “Oh. Yeah. Well I guess I could stay here a minute. I mean, experiencing the royal treatment on your dime would be a nice break. You can consider it payback for Cuba.” Alex punched “Iz” lightly on the arm as she spoke. “and it’s good to see ya, kid.” 

Bella smiled. 

Page Break

Citizen/Soldier 

When they returned to the castle, each person was basking in the happy atmosphere, and the sound of laughter light on the air as the stars slanted across the cave’s entrance. 

Bella surprised the Cullens by inviting Alexandra to eat a late dinner with them in the attic. Alex, upon seeing the damask pitchers of blood on the table, had only acknowledged the Cullens’ differences with a shrugged, “Cool.” 

The conversation drew long into the night as Jasper manipulated Alex to tell the story of the Cuban escapade from Bella’s Miami year shamelessly. Bella glared at Jasper but didn’t seem to mind much. 

“-- So Bella’s got her arms around my neck, and we were just sort of awkwardly swaying like siblings dancing at a kegger, while I’m levitating the black-barrel rum off the shelf of the bar, when-” 

Lizzie stepped into the room bearing a jug of wine, Esme beaming behind her with a large cake in her hands. “Esme! I couldn’t eat another bite!” Alex roared good-naturedly, already cutting herself a slice of the rich carrot-cake Esme had made. “Now, what was I saying?” 

Bella’s hand went to her mouth and she giggled. God, but it was good to see Alex again. Bella hoped her friends could forgive her for what she was doing, that Alexandra could see the flight was worth the fall. 

“Oh come on Jasper, that’s enough. I’m sure you have a few storied from your time in the army.” 

Alex stiffened, turning to Jasper. “You were in the Army?” 

Jasper responded lightly, aware of the weight of his words as Alexandra’s emotional state fell quickly. “Youngest major in the Texas Calvary.” He left out his experience in the newborn wars. 

Alex flinched at his casual tone. “I don’t do that army stuff.” She turned to Bella next to her. “I think it’s time you told me what you want from me here, Iz.” 

Isabella turned to face the sneaky con-artist. Time to beat her at her own game. Bishop to C3. “I have a proposition for you, my friend. To the west of here, in the fields between the mountains and the Badlands is a small market-town that’s been hit especially hard by the war. The Boondocks, I think they call it. I know you know Havana like the back of your hand, and I need a reliable guide for the caravan I’m bringing there. The Boondocks produce half of the food which supports the Camp, and I’ve promised them I’ll attend some annual bonfire they throw every year. I want to throw them a party they won’t soon forget.” 

The jug of wine crashed to the floor, Lizzie mopping it up drunkenly with her foot as panic flitted across her young face. 

Bella eyed the girl, reading her aura subtly as she stuttered and apologized. She’d been right, and sadness swept over her suddenly. Jasper raised an eyebrow at the emotions in the room, meeting Bella’s gaze. Distract, Distract. The chant filled Bella’s mind and she pushed it out through her skin, coloring the air around her with a hint of drunkenness. “Geez, Lizzie. I think you need to head to bed. You can stay here tonight, Alex. I don’t think you’d make it back to wherever you’re staying. Goodnight Lizzie, see you tomorrow. No,- I'll see to everything here for once, it’s a big day tomorrow if we’re going to make it back in time for the gala. Go to bed.” Elizabeth yawned, squeezing Bella’s arm as she turned towards the door, sudden tiredness on her face. “Yeah okay. You’re so nice, Ms. Bella.” Lizzie slurred. 

Later, after the table had been cleared and the food put away, Isabella went to the balcony, swinging her legs over the railing and looking out at Camp. 

Alex joined her, shoving a glass of wine into her hand. 

“What. Are. You. Doing.” Alexandra’s voice was furious and heartbroken, turning to Bella with fear making her pupils dilate. “I don’t--” 

“Cut the crap Iz. Your vampire friends may think you’re all innocent, but I know better. I taught you to manipulate everyone around you, did you really think you could best me at it? How did you know about her?” 

Bella sighed, taking a long sip of wine from her glass. “I saw her picture once, in your stuff. I didn’t examine it closely. Then I saw you kiss it when you thought we were going to die, when we were going after the spell book.” 

“I remember that job, -- remember lots of others too, where you swindled me into getting in over my head before I knew it and dragged me right out of trouble again like it was nothing. I guess I should’ve guessed you were a noble. I’m nobody’s soldier anymore, kid” 

“You are; and always have been, everyone’s soldier, Alex, whether you fight for me or not. I’ve never met someone who’s more a soldier than you.” 

“I sure hope you know what you’re doing, your majesty.” 

“Me too.” The pair looked out from the high balcony at Havana, stretched out before them. 

Page Break

Hope and pray, that you never need me.   
But rest assured I will not let you down.   
I walk beside you, but you may not see me.   
The strongest among you may not wear a crown. 

On the day when you need your brothers and sisters to care.   
On that day when you don't have strength for the burden you bear.   
I'll be right here. 

Citizen soldiers.   
Holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.   
Standing on guard for the ones that we've sheltered.   
We'll always be ready because we will always be there. 

Page Break

Boondocks 

“You’re from the country, right Lizzie?” Rosalie heard Bella enquire as the Fae mounted their bare-back horses and sunrise peeked over the horizon. Bella rode in an elegant side-saddle pose, whereas Alex was in a comfortable-looking pair of joggers and blousy top, riding like a true cowgirl. The bird from the market was perched on her shoulder, and it flew ahead of them as they rode. Their party was made up of Alexandra, Bella, Kaedra, all of the Cullens, and Josephat, who had arrived at the stables as they were leaving, sharing a heavy glance with Isabella. His sudden appearance had made Alex curse robustly, though neither she nor Jo would explain their obvious relationship. Lizzie was riding along with the few soldiers and stewards who wrangled supplies at the rear of the group, gossiping good-naturedly in the early-morning air. To Edward’s obvious relief, Marcos had elected to stay behind, claiming he was a “city-boy". 

“I am. I was raised not far from where we’re headed actually, on a little farm in the middle of nowhere.” 

“There’s no place quite like the boondocks,” Alex replied, Lizzie nodding with her. “You’ll never meet a people more proud of where they come from.” 

Rosalie heard the music start from behind her, and looked back to see one of the soldiers plucking a banjo. 

I feel no shame   
I'm proud of where I came from   
I was born and raised in the boondocks   
One thing I know   
No matter where I go   
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks 

Lizzie joined the simple melody, her voice a soft alto that echoed along the worn footpath. 

And I can feel   
That muddy water running through my veins   
And I can hear that lullaby of a midnight train   
It sings to me and it sounds familiar 

Bella joined in too, getting caught up in Lizzie and the guard’s nostalgia, and Rosalie saw Emmett begin to bob his head. 

I feel no shame   
I'm proud of where I came from   
I was born and raised in the boondocks   
One thing I know   
No matter where I go   
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks 

And I can taste   
That honeysuckle and it's still so sweet   
When it grows wild   
On the banks down at old camp creek   
Yeah, and it calls to me like a warm wind blowing 

A breeze ruffled the group, warm wind tinted with the smell of sweet flowers. Alexandra was staring at Bella’s blonde head-of-house as if in a trance, but the rest of the group was distracted by the appearance of a quaint town bordered with endless fields springing up from the flat desert plateau around them. 

I feel no shame   
I'm proud of where I came from   
I was born and raised in the boondocks   
One thing I know   
No matter where I go   
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks 

It's where I learned about living   
It's where I learned about love   
It's where I learned about working hard   
And having a little was just enough 

It's where I learned about Jesus   
And knowing where I stand   
You can take it or leave it, this is me   
This is who I am 

Give me a tin roof   
A front porch and a gravel road   
And that's home to me   
It feels like home to me 

I feel no shame   
I'm proud of where I came from   
I was born and raised in the boondocks   
One thing I know   
No matter where I go   
I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks 

I keep my heart and soul in the boondocks 

Alexandra cut into the song suddenly, addressing Lizzie boldly with an accapella change in tempo. Rosalie watched Jasper raise an eyebrow in Bella’s direction. Lizzie sang along with Alexandra’s sudden round, the guard providing simple support. 

You get a line, I'll get a pole   
We'll go fishing in the craw fish hole   
Five-card poker on a Saturday night   
Church on Sunday morning 

You get a line, I'll get a pole   
We'll go fishing in the craw fish hole   
(Down in the boondocks)   
Five-card poker on a Saturday night (sing a little prayer for me)   
Church on Sunday morning 

You get a line, I'll get a pole   
We'll go fishing in the craw fish hole   
(Down in the boondocks)   
Five-card poker on a Saturday night (sing a little prayer for me)   
Church on Sunday morning 

You get a line, I'll get a pole   
We'll go fishing in the craw fish hole   
(Down in the boondocks)   
Five-card poker on a Saturday night (sing a little prayer for me)   
Church on Sunday morning 

You get a line, I'll get a pole   
We'll go fishing in the craw fish hole   
(Down in the boondocks)   
Five-card poker on a Saturday night (sing a little prayer for me)   
Church on Sunday morning 

You get a line, I'll get a pole   
We'll go fishing in the craw fish hole   
(Down in the boondocks)   
Five-card poker on a Saturday night (sing a little prayer for me)   
Church on Sunday morning 

By the time the song finished, the sun was halfway to noon, gleaming down and making the vampire’s skin shine as the group arrived in a small brick village, the people running out to greet them. 

Page Break

American Honey 

Lizzie was nervous. This was the first time she had returned to the Boondocks since her ordeal, and it wasn’t just the upper-class whose personal drama haunted them; though Elizabeth knew her story was nothing like her exceptional Queen’s. It didn’t help that something about Alexandra niggled at her brain, bringing up memories better left forgotten: 

Lizzie was one of the younger ones at the choosing ceremony that year, she had barely had her sixteenth birthday in August. 

As Elizabeth remembered, she could feel the anticipation in her gut all over again. 

The choosing ceremony was the be-all-and-end-all for young Fae, who traveled to the School from all around the countryside to be matched with their eternal partners. Though Lizzie knew the soul-entwining didn’t necessarily lead to romance, she had hoped she was one of the lucky majority who found their lover through the process. 

When the Temple Fae running the ceremony had called her name, Lizzie’s heart had fluttered in her chest. The soft light had fallen on her as the water flowed around her feet, marking her with the blessing of her affinities; and Elizabeth Spellman had laid eyes on her for the first time. 

The Ipswitch heir had met her eyes with startling-blue ones that were ancient beyond her appearance, wonder and apprehension crowding into her face as she met Lizzie’s eyes. She was dressed in the solid black of a soldier-in-training, the high heels emphasizing her cute figure and round face. 

An Ipswitch was to be her chosen? Oh, father was going to be furious. 

The face of Lizzie’s chosen was a distant echo now, crowded out of her mind behind a thousand screaming memories. Elizabeth was far from the young country girl she had been when she came to the city. 

Bella hadn’t been lying when she said the Boondocks had been hit hard by the war. The golden fields of her childhood were coming back now, but Lizzie remembered what they had smelled like as they burned. It had been the end of the world when the Master’s soldiers came to the village. Lizzie was unlucky enough to be in the main square of the market, trying to find something to soften her father’s heart on the way back from the Choosing. When the attack came, she had been taken quickly. The screams of her friends still resonated in her ears, the sensation of hoofbeats under her making her shudder. 

Lizzie had been saved from her captors after almost six-months in captivity by a worn-looking woman with dark, cropped hair and an empty-blue gaze who treated her roughly but kindly; who bundled her naked, weak form in a warm blanket and shoved a glass of water in her hand before she killed the incapacitated guard who had been Lizzie’s tormentor. That face, at least, Lizzie could never forget. 

Josephat had been much more gentle, allowing Lizzie to stay with him in the Shaman house for almost a year before he deemed her well enough to be on her own. She had been working at the castle under the healer’s watchful eyes when Isabella had returned and promptly promoted her. 

Lizzie was proud to serve her Queen, who had survived brutality worse than Lizzie wanted to imagine and wore her scars with pride. Bella hadn’t been defeated by the darkness that had trampled LIzzie’s spirit, her name bringing hope and faith to the captive girls under the Master’s thumb. She tended to all the household affairs she could shove into her busy day, so Isabella could focus on what she needed to do to defeat the evil spreading through her kingdom. 

In some small way, Lizzie felt that she was helping the other girls like her, like she too was a rough-and-tumble soldier rescuing young girls from dark and menacing dungeons. 

But that was hard to remember as the shadows of the Boondocks’ destruction played around them, echoes darkening the air that formed from Lizzie’s memory. Esme was very quiet next to her. 

The rest of the group was far enough away that Lizzie’s trauma-induced shadow images couldn’t be seen by them, the main group’s focus on the beauty of the quaint village still ahead, and Isabella distracted by the visitors who had run to greet them. Only Kaedra, Esme, and Alexandra could see the echoes of destruction that gleamed darkly in the bright sun. 

Though Kaedra did not respond to the shadows except for a darkening of her expression, Esme gasped and reached for Lizzie’s hand, tangled in her brown mare’s mane. Lizzie flinched from the well-meaning touch. 

“Don’t worry about it, gentle Esme.” Lizzie whispered to her vampire friend’s guilty look. She reached out and patted Esme’s shoulder gently. “The fields are growing back up now, see?” 

Lizzie dispersed the echoes of memory from the air around them, nudging Esme’s mind away from their evil and sweeping her arm to encompass the blooming fields around them. She focused on a small patch of wildflowers growing by the edge of the road and they bloomed under the water suddenly moistening their roots, faster than Lizzie had expected. She turned to find Alex riding a few feet away, her focus on the pretty poppy plants that grew wild all through the boondocks, as she and her steed lingered between the nobles and the soldiers. Bella’s conniving friend was grinning shyly at her. 

Esme’s only response was to pluck one of the bright-red flowers and tuck it behind Lizzie’s ear, caressing her face gently with her cold fingertips as she drew away and rode ahead to Bella’s side. 

“Yes,” thought Lizzie. “The fields are growing back now.” 

Page Break

Suds in the Bucket 

It was nearing sunset when Esme finished preparing a meal for the caravan, and the grateful compliments to her cooking had fallen on deaf ears. Her heart was heavy with the destruction she had seen that afternoon, her vampire memories overlaying the images with the now-pristine village. 

Her shoulders sagged as she wiped her hand on her apron before she was intercepted by Rosalie and Emmett, accompanied by a boisterous Bella whose attention was on an older, plump woman. Edward was smiling peacefully as he trailed behind the group, accompanied by her husband, who was shooting her a worried look as she slumped, whispering to his mind-reading son. 

Esme quickly focused on the gossip she could hear the woman reporting to Bella in a springy waltz song: 

She was in the back yard   
Say it was a little past nine   
When her prince pulled up   
A white pick-up truck   
Her folks shoulda seen it comin'   
It was only just a matter of time   
Plenty old enough   
And you can't stop love   
She stuck a note on the screen door   
Sorry but I got to go   
And that was all she wrote   
Her Mama's heart was broke   
And that was all she wrote   
And so the story goes 

Esme saw Bella nod as she took in the tale, which Esme had heard three times in the kitchen already. It was some gossip-driven story popular in the town for a while now, the story of the Spellman heiress and her wild affair with a rebellious stranger. Esme was sure it was more gossip than fact, but nodded merrily anyway, no matter how skeptical she was of the story’s truth. 

Now her Daddy's in the kitchen   
Starin' out the window   
Scratchin' and a rackin' his brains   
How can sixteen years just up and walk away   
Our little pony tailed girl   
Growed up to be a woman   
Now she's gone in the blink of an eye   
She left the suds in the bucket   
And the clothes hangin' out on the line 

A teenage boy cut into the tale with an objection over a small detail, and the woman hushed him with a commanding frown. 

Now don't you wonder what the preacher's   
Gonna preach about Sunday morn'   
Nothing quite like this   
Has happened here before   
Well she must have been looker   
A smooth talkin' son of a gun   
For such a grounded girl   
To just up and run   
Of course you can't fence time   
And you can't stop love 

Bella took up the tale exuberantly, turning to waltz with the klutzy teen and swinging into the arms of an old soldier with a cane. 

Now all the biddies in the beauty shop   
Gossip goin' non-stop   
Sippin' on pink lemonade   
How could sixteen years just up and walk away   
Our little pony tailed girl   
Growed up to be a woman   
Now she's gone in the blink of an eye   
She left the suds in the bucket   
And the clothes hangin' out on the line 

Soon the whole square was sharing in the dance, Esme allowing Carlisle to lead her in a swing-step and make her laugh. Esme remembered that happiness exists even in the darkest of places. 

She's got her pretty little bare feet   
Hangin' out the window   
And they're headed up to Vegas tonight   
How could sixteen years just up and walk away   
Our little pony tailed girl   
Growed up to be a woman   
Now she's gone in the blink of an eye   
She left the suds in the bucket   
And the clothes hangin' out on the line   
She left the suds in the bucket   
And the clothes hangin' out on the line 

Suddenly, Bella stopped and turned to Lizzie, who was stock-still on the edge of the square with a pale face. Her voice softened and turned persuasive as she tucked Lizzie’s wild blonde hair behind her ear, plucking the wilting red poppy from where it had gotten tangled in the wind-blown locks. 

She was in the backyard   
Say it was a little past nine   
When her prince pulled up   
A white pick-up truck   
Plenty old enough   
And you can't stop love   
And no you can't fence time   
And you can't stop love 

Directly across from Lizzie in Esme’s view, stood an oblivious Alexandra, haggling over a sweet-cake with an elderly merchant while the sunset glinted off her ocean blue eyes. Lizzie gasped wildly, her hand flying to her mouth as she looked at the thief with new understanding painted on her face. 

Bella smiled. 

Page Break

Never Forget You 

Alex stood stock still in Lizzie’s view, as though she was aware of the epiphany Elizabeth had just pulled from her clouded memories. It was her. Those too-blue eyes gave the con away. 

The dark-skinned, grungy soldier in the dungeons with the worn blue gaze, her face less-round with her cropped, short hairdo in the dingy light. 

The ethereal soldier-in-training across from her at the Choosing, her ocean-blue eyes shining at the possibility of true love. 

Bella’s slim friend, slightly older now and with a less polished style, her long, dark hair in two braided plaits, her eyes cynical and rough in the fading sun’s light. 

It was her. Alexandra Ipswitch. Her Chosen. 

Lizzie did not know why Alexandra Ipswitch had hidden her identity from her. It didn’t matter. Romance was not a big enough word to describe the emotion in her chest. Love hardly covered it. Elizabeth could not have stopped the song from bursting through her lips if her life had depended on it. 

I'll never forget you   
You'll always be by my side   
From the day that I met you   
I knew that I would love you 'til the day I die   
And I will never want much more   
And in my heart, I will always be sure   
I will never forget you   
And you'll always be by my side 'til the day I die 

'Til the day I die 

Shadows danced around the pair, exposing the long history of the ex-soldier and the innocent country girl to the watching village and shattering the illusion the villagers had held about the two star-crossed lovers. 

Page Break

Fearless 

Images drawn in golden light slayed the dark shadows of Lizzie and Alex’s memories, rising up to glow around the chosen pair while wearing the Cullen’s visage; serving to give the two lovers privacy from the curious, shocked villagers and protecting them from the dark shadows of their tainted past. An echo-Bella stood at the head of the angelic image, her chrome sword extended and gleaming with inward shine. 

The real Bella addressed Alex and Lizzie as disconnected images formed quickly, painting her relationship with Edward and the other vampires in faded echoes that glittered in the quickly-fading light. 

And I don't know how it gets better than this   
You take my hand and drag me headfirst   
Fearless   
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance   
In a storm in my best dress   
Fearless 

So baby drive slow   
Til we run out of road in this one-horse town   
I wanna stay right here in this passenger's seat   
You put your eyes on me   
In this moment now capture it remember it 

And I don't know how it gets better than this   
You take my hand and drag me headfirst   
Fearless   
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance   
In a storm in my best dress   
Fearless 

Well you stood there with me in the doorway   
my hands shake   
I'm not usually this way but   
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave   
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something, it's fearless. 

As the image of Bella’s and Edward’s first kiss flashed around them, Alex reached out a shaking, dirty hand and pulled Lizzie close, into a protective embrace. 

Bella’s musical encouragement seemed to be all that Alex and Lizzie needed, and they looked into each other’s eyes steadily, speaking softly to one another and drawing closer and closer until Esme couldn’t tell where one stopped and the other began. 

Page Break

Marry You 

When Alexandra’s lips finally met Lizzie’s in an exultant kiss, Esme felt happy venom-tears prick at her eyes. The image of her family that stood guard around the couple collapsed and shot through the village in a ribbon of golden light, painting every garden bed and crack in its path with red poppies. The villagers too, were exuberant; clutching at each other and rushing to greet the young couple. Though when Bella held up a hand authoritatively, they backed off a little. 

“Alexandra Ipswitch and Elizabeth Spellman, do you choose each other above all else, two souls dancing together for all time?” 

The two young women nodded eagerly as they turned to face their Queen, proclaiming their “I do’s” with tears flowing down their faces. 

Bella smiled. 

The crowd around them roared. 

Page Break

Dirt 

The party that followed would go down as legend, Josephat was sure. Soon enough, the wild and cheerful atmosphere dimmed with sultry night; and Josephat saw Bella leave her new family and approach him. Josephat had been standing off to the side of the party, out of the glowing golden lights that illuminated the celebration against the starry sky. 

You get your hands in it   
Plant your roots in it   
Dusty head lights dance with your boots in it (dirt) 

He tucked the young queen’s head under his chin, comforting her spirit as best he could and examining her reiki for dangerous knots. Being someone’s chosen, and choosing someone was a beautiful gift. Josephat’s chosen had died recently, and though he still held her memory close he found peace in their long stretch of time together. Some were not so lucky. 

You write her name on it   
Spin your tires on it   
Build your corn field, whiskey   
Bonfires on it (dirt)   
You bet your life on it 

Across the way, Jasper approached the happy couple, congratulating them. Alex met his gaze with dreamy hopefulness pouring from her eyes. “How do you do it Jasper? You’ve been in some hella battles, I’m not blind.” Alex motioned to the bite-marks covering Jasper’s skin. “How could I ever bring someone like her happiness?” 

Alex’s gaze was fixed on her beaming bride. 

Its that elm shade   
Red roads clay you grew up on   
That plowed up ground That your dad   
Damned his luck on That post game party field   
You circled up on   
And when it rains You get stuck on   
Drift a cloud back Behind county roads   
That you run up   
The mud on her jeans that she peeled off   
And hung up   
Her blue-eyed Summertime smile   
Looks so good that it hurts 

Jasper smiled, meeting Alice’s gaze across the short distance that separated them. “Practice.” he quipped, turning to meet Alex’s gaze, serious once more. “You know how quickly it can be taken from you. Love fearlessly.”   
You know you came from it,   
And some day you'll return to it 

Bella peeked at the two soldiers in her life who had managed to rebuild all that had been taken from them from under Josephat’s embrace. With tears in her golden eyes, Bella smiled.


	7. Obsession

HELLOOOO-Is anyone out there? 

Let’s meet the bad guys! 

This looong chapter officially ends Arc 1 of Breakdown. Everyone will be set up, all major characters, settings, and plotlines are set up... save one. Introduced and accounted for....shhh I don’t want to spoil it! 

This chapter is dedicated to my mom, who’s legacy of faith inspires me daily. (Also, she puts up with me) 

Arc 2 will get into more of Bella’s personal backstory and comes with a smutty surprise! Ya’ll; if you think this story is dark right now, you’re not gonna make it. 

Please Read and Review! 

I’m kinda concerned I might burn out. Feedback always helps with that! Much Love guys! 

Remember, there’s always beauty in the breakdown. 

Links: 

Devantart: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73118285/breakdown-chapter-6 

Youtbe: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WAVGCfNZ3WUHDaCeRdHg30i 

Spotfy: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1yhpqgpBdTlmKnPvHKGmEm?si=7usJ6HTfRZimMQgrZf5hvw 

Livjournal: 

https://breakdown1992.livejournal.com/2185.html 

Hey! If you aren’t looking at the illustrations and listening to the music, try it! 

It adds a lot of color, mood, and clarity to the story; and sometimes you get a bonus sneak preview of the next chapter! 

Page Break

Something in the Water 

The next morning, after a brief sleep that Bella had managed to squeeze in following the wild party, soldiers packed up their stuff. Bella sent the small group of servants and guards ahead with Alexandra and Lizzie, who were both beaming in the strong morning light. Josephat, the Cullens, and Kaedra hung back, fending off well-wishers bearing strange gifts and feeding the horses; before their group too hit the road back to Camp. Bella had promised her vampire family a quick hunt on the way back, laughing as she rebuffed Kaedra’s concerns about being out in the open. “Honestly Kay, you don’t have to wrap me in bubble wrap. We’re far enough from the battlefront here, there shouldn’t be any trouble. Besides, I can take care of myself.” 

It was apparent to Carlisle now that Bella could, indeed, take care of herself. She allowed her friends and family to gift her their protection because it made them feel good. The more Carlisle observed his human daughter, the more he realized she was the same girl who had befriended his family in Forks. Her personality was simply fully-realized here. 

Carlisle reveled in each new bit of information about the Fae and his complicated kin. After three hundred and sixty-five years on this earth, Carlisle had thought he knew everything it was possible to know about the world. Discovering there was so much he didn’t understand thrilled him and brought him new life. Bella brought them new life, tying his family together in a way Carlisle had never seen, turning them from individuals with affection towards one another into something resembling a true spirit-bound family. Though the process was not without friction, Carlisle was grateful for it. 

It was nearing sunset when Bella insisted they stop to allow the vampires to hunt. She spread the picnic Lizzie had left for them on the red-checkered blanket magically and shooed the Cullens to the sparse woods around them while tying her horse to a nearby tree securely. “Don’t eat anything with scales!” 

Edward lingered until Bella had settled down with Kaedra and Josephat beside her, then took off after his family. 

Instead of taking the group back the way they had come, Bella had led them around the long-way, closer to the ridge of mountains that protected Camp from the raging battlegrounds. Against the background of the woods that bordered the desert plain between the Boondocks and Camp, stood the ruins of a simple white church with a round tower extending above it. The steep hill where Bella had stopped them lay under the bridge which connected the church to the surrounding land, and to their right was a steep cliff’s edge, with a narrow walking path winding down the rocky cliff face to an unseen river that bubbled along. 

As Carlisle returned from his hunt to where Bella and Kaedra sat on the front lawn of the church, he overheard a tense conversation between the two. 

“You manipulated Alex and Lizzie wonderfully. Are you hoping she’ll re-join the rest of the soldiers in your silly resistance? Maybe Alex can secure your improbable victory for you.” 

“Shut up, Kay. Alex is a dear friend, and Lizzie deserves all the happiness she can find. They were knocked off course by a force I released, and I would've fixed it even if it didn’t serve to unite the Spellman and Ipswitch lines.” 

“Worked out pretty well for you though, didn’t it?” 

“Not everyone is on a quest for more power, Shannara. Ancient times are long behind us.” 

Kaedra snarled and stalked away, past Carlisle’s still form. “Talk some sense into her, please, Carlisle. She’s being ridiculous.” Kay shot the words behind her as she walked past him, leaving he and Bella alone. 

“Hey. Just ignore her. My old friend lost her faith a while ago.” Sadness flitted across Bella’s face as she greeted him, though she erased it quickly. Generous affection showed on her angular features. “How’s it going? Are you enjoying the Healer’s training?” 

Carlisle took a moment to think over the insane marriage of eastern and western medical philosophy he had encountered in this pocket world; as Bella stood from the wet grass, the sun glinting off her glittery dress. “It is going well. I’m quite excited by how psychology plays into the energies of chakra, and how the strengthening of character traits translates into more magical control.” 

“Talking like a healer already? You’ll be legendary in no time.” 

Bella dusted off the back of the scandalously short skirt that wound around her backless gown and motioned to him. “Come on, - I've been meaning to show you something.” 

Edward zoomed into view and accompanied Carlisle and Bella on their short, silent trek to the church entrance, which broke as Bella mused at them softly. “Discovering your elemental magic and getting carted off to a new place, where everyone treats you weird, is a lot to take in at eight years old. When I first entered Havana, my head wouldn’t stop spinning. I ran off one day, escaping my handlers and going off on my own. I got lost in the woods, and when night fell, I got scared. Seeing the white tower of this church was like receiving a long-anticipated gift. I was disappointed to find it abandoned.” 

“Well, not that this place is abandoned.” Bella threw open the wide brown double-doors that led to the interior of the church, revealing a quiet sanctuary swathed in stained-glass colors as the evening sun set outside. In front of them was a small brick altar on which lay a small offering, with vines growing up the large crucifix mounted behind. 

The stained-glass sunlight streaming in through the broken window moved across the space slowly, colors beading against one another like oil on glass before bursting brightly into the form of a slim, white-haired priest. The music started, and the man of God bowed to them before turning away. With a wry grin at Bella, he addressed a second echo; that of a dark-skinned parishioner in a simple white sundress. 

He said, "I've been where you've been before.   
Down every hallway's a slamming door."   
No way out, no one to come and save me   
Wasting a life that the Good Lord gave me 

Then somebody said what I'm saying to you   
Opened my eyes and told me the truth."   
They said, "Just a little faith, it'll all get better."   
So I followed that preacher man down to the river 

And now I'm changed   
And now I'm stronger 

Bella took up a dance hold with the priest, their bodies as far from each other as the hold would allow but spinning through the space with abandon. 

There must've been something in the water   
Oh, there must've been something in the water 

Edward and Carlisle felt a tap on their shoulders and turned to face the woman in white as scenes of Bella’s childhood experience in the church echoed around them, bringing the sound of laughter on the sudden breeze. 

Well, I heard what he said, and I went on my way   
Didn't think about it for a couple of days   
Then it hit me like lightning late one night   
I was all out of hope and all out of fight 

Bella spun away from her dance with the priest, pausing with her face directly across from the female parishioner’s, entwining hands and singing together in the dim light. 

Couldn't fight back the tears so I fell on my knees   
Saying, "God, if you're there come and rescue me."   
Felt love pouring down from above   
Got washed in the water, washed in the blood 

And now I'm changed   
And now I'm stronger 

Bella threw open a smaller set of double doors to the left of the altar, joyfully sprinting past the rest of their startled group outside to run at full-speed down the steep and winding path that led to the river. The echoes of the priest and suddenly-smiling parishioner met Carlisle’s eyes before the ghosts disappeared in a burst of golden sunshine. 

There must be something in the water   
Oh, there must be something in the water 

Bella dove from the wall of the cliff while she was still a few feet above the raging water, panic flitting to life in Edward’s face as she was fully submerged in the deep river. He took off, and Carlisle and the rest of the group followed more sedately; grins painted across their faces as the music continued. 

And now I'm singing along to amazing grace   
Can't nobody wipe this smile off my face   
Got joy in my heart, angels on my side   
Thank God almighty, I saw the light   
Gonna look ahead, no turning back   
Live every day, give it all that I have   
Trust in someone bigger than me   
Ever since the day that I believed 

When Bella’s head broke above the water, a million ghostly echoes sprang to life on the surface of it, an entire chorus of varied people, in dress spanning hundreds of years of fashion; and singing the chorus of “Amazing Grace” as one. It was a legacy of faith. Bella’s voice soared above them all. 

I am changed   
And now I'm stronger 

There must be something in the water   
Oh, there must be something in the water   
Oh, there must be something in the water   
Oh, there must be something in the water 

Bella levitated to the surface of the water and turned to the shadowy younger image of herself in fancy body-paint that had appeared as the chorus faded into the sunset. She caressed the young girl’s serene face softly, running a finger across the ghostly image’s jaw. 

I once was lost but now am found   
Was blind but now I see. 

Page Break

Immortals 

Carlisle watched as his family frolicked in the waters of the river until late into the night, Bella materializing swimwear from nowhere for his family, and dressing herself in a knotted white shirt and bikini bottom, the outline of her white top peeking through the wet t-shirt. His family jumped from the cliff edges merrily, and Bella squeaked from her hold on Edward’s back. 

Keadra and Josephat were engaged in serious conversation on the rocky bank of the river, but their postures had relaxed as well. Carlisle’s healing mentor was leaning back on his arms with his shirt unbuttoned to his navel, tan skin exposed to the cool of the night; Keadra’s arms were curled around her knees, rubbing sore feet distractedly as she spoke. 

Esme swam to where he rested on the edge of the water. Her deep olive bikini was modest, but alluring, and Carlisle tucked his wife into his side, relishing for a moment the sensation of her skin on his bare chest. She clung to him in the water distractedly, her eyes on Bella. 

Bella was climbing from the water to the riverbank on the opposite side of the deep water, magically- growing a thick vine from a rocky outcropping above them so she could swing into the middle of the narrow river. As she clambered out of the water, Carlisle could make out the bite-mark on her inner thigh, the tissue paler than the surrounding skin and slightly raised. His Fae daughter’s delicate skin was also marked in thin bands around each ankle, the scars wider on the inside where Bella had rubbed the skin raw trying to escape her binds. Again, he banished Bella’s medical chart from his mind, remembering X-rays of shattered femur and fractured pelvis. 

Esme turned to him, a desperate question in her eyes. Before she could ask him anything, Bella swung to the middle of the river, hollering loudly as she fell into Edward’s waiting form with a splash. 

“Healing is a process, dear one. She’s happy in this moment, and we’re a part of that. She will be alright, my love. We’ll make sure of it.” 

Josephat’s eyes gleamed at him as he overheard Carlisle’s comment from further up the shore; before the ancient healer turned his head, suddenly alert, towards where Isabella stood clutched in Edward’s embrace. 

Bella was focused on the top of the canyon, above where Carlisle and Esme rested on the shore of the river. Edward whipped his head around and up, following Bella’s gaze with fear on his face. 

Carlisle smelled old blood, lots of it, and mixed with the sickly-sweet smell of magical herbs. He turned his head upward and watched the trio of malevolent strangers leap to the ground only a few yards from he and his wife. 

They say we are what we are,   
But we don't have to be,   
I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way,   
I'll be the watcher (watcher) of the eternal flame,   
I'll be the guard dog of all your favorite dreams, 

Carlisle leapt out of the water, bringing Esme with him and running towards the sparse tree-line against the sheer wall of the rocky cliff-face for cover. 

They were trapped on the wrong side of the shore, with no cover between them and their family. 

Edward was frozen a few feet from Bella in the middle of the water, whose expression was focused and angry as she psychically stopped the spout of fire being thrown at her by the stranger’s two guards. The wicked flames ended a few feet in front of her and his very-flammable son, spreading along an invisible wall and curling back towards their casters. The rest of his family stood on the opposite shoreline, eyes fierce, but forms frozen, though Jaspers face was twisting in an adrenaline-fueled grin, full of bloodlust. 

I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass (glass, glass)   
(Ooh)   
I try to picture me without you but I can't 

'Cause we could be immortals, immortals   
Just not for long, for long,   
And live with me forever now,   
You pull the blackout curtains down,   
Just not for long, for long,   
We could be immor- immortals,   
Immor- immortals,   
Immor- immortals,   
Immor- immortals, 

Jasper’s eyes narrowed, his upper lip curling back over his teeth. Finally, his enemy had shown themselves. The stranger’s grin was crooked and sadistic, short stubble coloring his strong jaw and lending him a rebellious edge. Long eyelashes framing feverish blue eyes were offset by thick brows tilted at a playful angle, as Jasper and the man listened to Bella reply with a verse in bitten-off words. 

Sometimes the only pay off for having any faith,   
Is when it's tested again and again every day,   
I'm still comparing your past to my future,   
It might be your wound but they're my sutures,   
(Ooh) 

Out of the corner of his eye, at the edge of his forcibly frozen vision, Jasper saw Josephat creeping towards his parents. Bella extinguished the roaring flames, throwing the guards back against the cliff wall and knocking them momentarily senseless, before they started getting up again. Kaedra, it seemed, had disappeared. 

Jasper could move again, though he ignored the stretch of force that felt like a rubber-band pulled taught across his body. He raced to the disoriented form of the rougher-looking guard and picked him up off the ground one-handed, wrenching his arm viciously; reveling in the crack of the guard’s bones as Jasper pulled back his opposite arm to punch the guard in his smug face, with all of his vampiric strength. 

The blow landed glancingly; and without the intended force, when Jasper was thrown backward, ripping the guard’s shirt as he flew towards the river. The only other guard approached them with a fast, confident stride. The ground shook beneath Jasper as he landed on his feet, and he had to dodge a boulder flying with incredible speed towards his face. 

The rough guard now sported a broken arm and a rapidly-swelling black eye, but he calmly lit a cigarette with his unbroken hand, before ripping off his thin tank as he approached Jasper; saying, “Aw come on, Hito. Let ‘im fight. I’ll rip him up good.” 

I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass (glass, glass)   
(Ooh)   
I try to picture me without you but I can't 

'Cause we could be immortals, immortals   
Just not for long, for long,   
And live with me forever now,   
You pull the blackout curtains down,   
Just not for long, for long,   
We could be immor- immortals,   
Immor- immortals, 

Bella was squaring off with the blue-eyed man, water rising around her rapidly as Edward was teleported to the opposite shore, where Alice and his brother and sister stood. Edward stumbled as he regained freedom of movement, before slamming against an invisible shield around the group. Jasper met Bella’s shocked eyes briefly with a shake of his head; signaling his wish to remain where he was. He turned his attention back to the two guards attacking him. 

And live with me forever now,   
And pull the blackout curtains down, 

We could be immortals, immortals   
Just not for long, for long,   
We could be immor- immortals,   
Immor- immortals   
Immor- immortals   
Immor- immortals   
(Immortals) 

Page Break

Burnin’ up 

Jasper fought fiercely to keep the two guards’ attention focused on him, and Edward glanced at the fight briefly as the disaster unfurled before his eyes. He was trapped far from his love, unable to do anything but watch helplessly as she spread her stance, planting her bare feet and raising her hands in a boxer’s pose, with fear and hatred on her face. 

The river glowed where she planted her feet in it, and from far away, Edward heard the rush of floodwaters gathering. 

The wicked man on the shore opposite turned to Edward and his siblings trapped behind Bella’s shield, and bowed from the waist with a flourish. 

“I am Tomas, my surprisingly vampiric friends. Greetings from the Master’s court.” 

Bella snarled, and a shard of ice flew at Tomas as her eyes flashed black, which Tomas deftly dodged. “Better keep a hold of that temper, young Isabella. Wouldn’t want to rush anything after such a long intermission. Tell me, where have you been hiding?” 

Bella threw another ice shard in pointed silence, this one at least a foot long and wicked sharp. Tomas held out a hand, palm up, when the shard was three feet from him and it disappeared, flashing across to the fight on the shore and piercing Jasper’s shoulder as he howled in pain. 

Bella winced and dropped her hands, looking nervous as she took in those Cullens scattered across the shore where Tomas stood, trapped against the wall of the cliff-face with nowhere to go. 

Edward let a frustrated scream leave his mouth as he threw himself once more against the barrier. 

And suddenly, Tomas was meeting his eyes, grinning sharply at him and raising a hand towards where his parents stood against the trees; Josephat nearer now, but not close enough. 

The fireball flew directly for Esme. 

Kaedra appeared from nowhere, throwing a shield in front of his parents; but Bella had already moved, blinking in front of his mother to absorb the flaming attack that would have disintegrated her to ashes. 

The moment stretched impossibly as the shield around Edward, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett thinned, before snapping time back to normal with its disappearance, and Edward saw: 

As time slowed, Bella’s back arched, fire racing from the center of her chest and along her limbs as her spine bowed backward. Her mouth stretched in a silent scream; agony painted across her face as seizure-like convulsions spread through her scantily-clad body. Her toes curled, and Edward had no idea how she remained standing so long. 

She collapsed to the floor of the riverbed, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Jasper pinned in the path of a magically-summoned avalanche rolling down from the cliff-face. Time sped up again just before the floodwaters reached them, sweeping enemy and friend alike down the river’s narrow path in the raging current. 

Page Break

Playing with the Big Boys 

Edward swam towards Bella’s unconscious body, reaching it just before Tomas and kicking out at the man’s shoulders as he headed towards the surface. His mouth was already pushing precious air past his lover’s lips. When he reached the surface, the rushing floodwaters were petering out on the open desert plain that stood between them and Camp. 

As the waters receded, Edward took a moment to take stock of his surroundings, and that was his mistake. 

His father was clutching at Esme as he stood, but his mother was already being assisted to her feet by a half-drowned Josephat; his parents were still in their swimwear. 

The two troublesome guards had Jasper suspended mid-air in a malicious headlock, the Asian one with bleached hair tying his feet with the thick vine Bella had been using as a swing. His brother struggled uselessly against the injured guard’s hold. 

Rosalie and Emmett were scrambling to their feet as well, and in the perfect position to attack the guards. Alice had been swept further from them, on the other side of where Jasper struggled; but already on her feet and racing towards her husband. 

Bella moaned in his arms, and suddenly Tomas filled Edward’s field of view, on his feet and sopping wet, snarling. Edward’s grip tightened on his love, but he was frozen as before. Tomas plucked Bella from his arms, and with the heavy force of magick, psychically forced Edward and his family to their knees. The guards cackled and kicked Jasper hard in the ribs. 

Bella’s eyes fluttered but remained closed. 

Page Break

La Tortura 

Bella’s sudden intake of air; and the subsequent coughing fit, called everyone’s eyes to her as she took in the hopeless scene that welcomed her back to the land of the living. The group had been taken to a dimly lit stone dungeon. Edward, Emmett, Alice and Jasper were standing unnaturally straight at the back of the cell, with their feet and arms bound in ice against the surface of the wall, and no doubt were magically-restrained from any movement as well. Carlisle, Josephat, Rosalie and Esme were huddled in the corner, blocked from reaching her by a wall of flames that reached the ceiling. Kaedra was once again missing-in-action. 

Tomas had changed from his wet jeans and open leather jacket, and now he sat in one of the two chairs in the room, the one closest to the exit of the large, mostly-empty cell. He was dressed in a suit jacket, with a deep V-neck in his white button-down shirt and his tie askew, sitting on the backwards chair with a leg thrown over either side. His two guards stood behind him, and Bella was disappointed to see that the rough-one’s eye had already been partially healed. 

Tomas inclined his head at her in a mocking bow, as she sat up from where she had been dumped unceremoniously on the floor. He offered her a cigarette as he motioned to the chair across from him. 

Bella sighed, accepting the small offering without touching Tomas. She climbed into the chair and leaned forward so Tomas could light up the cigarette with a snap of his fingers. Her legs were still weak beneath her, refusing to hold her weight. She had to take a draw off the cigarette awkwardly, because her hands were bound tightly to one another at the wrists in front of her body. Bella was still in her white swimsuit, her slim hipbones jutting out against the scanty bikini bottom where they were showing below the knotted waist of her still-damp shirt. 

“I believe we were discussing where you have been for the last two years.” Tomas began after a moment of tense silence, during which Bella dragged on the cigarette with practiced ease. 

Bella blew smoke in his face with a purse of her lips, raising both eyebrows at him in silent challenge. 

A pin-drop could’ve been heard in the space, only broken by the crackling of the fire and Edward’s soft grunts as he tried to free himself with renewed passion. 

Tomas let out a weary sigh, giving off an air of boredom as he motioned to the guards behind him. Idiots one and two, Bella had decided to call them as they fell on her, throwing her to the ground and striking out with kicks and punches. Curling into a defensive ball, Bella smiled with blood bubbling on her lips as Carlisle growled in the corner. Her compassionate father-figure prepared to pounce at Tomas through the flames before Rosalie and Josephat held him back, whispering at him urgently. 

Tomas snapped his fingers after almost a full-minute and the guards backed away. 

Squinting one eye where a steel-toed boot had caught her and cut her forehead, making blood obscure her vision; Bella got up as quickly as she could and hobbled back to her chair. The enchanted ropes around her hands were beginning to smoke with the magick she threw at them, but their hold on her was stronger than she would’ve hoped. Shit, she was too tired for this. 

Scowling, Tomas sent his guards away. Once they were gone, he leaned intently over the back of the chair to meet her bloody gaze. He was inches from her face, and his drug-sweet scent made her head spin. 

“See here, Isabella. The Master does not have to be called. You know what lays guarded by my forces in this castle. Think about it.” Tomas grabbed her jaw in an iron grip, forcing his mouth on hers in a harsh and filthy kiss. 

Then he stood, and without another word, turned his back to her. His gait was steady and relaxed as he left his prisoners behind. 

The second Tomas was out of sight, Bella scrambled to her feet and towards the vampires trapped by ice to the back wall, putting out the flaming boundary with her mind as she approached Edward, Emmett, Alice and Jasper. 

She released Edward first, stretching on tiptoe to touch her fingertips to the ice that bound his arms above his head. 

Edward caught her as her legs gave out, wiping the blood from her lips tenderly and mindful of the cuts that littered her form from the beating she had received. Another convulsion wracked her body as Josephat rushed to help him, steadying Bella with an unnecessary hand on her shoulder as he touched his fingertips to the ice that bound Alice and Emmett. 

When he reached for Jasper’s ice-bound form, Bella stepped back from Edward and stopped him. 

“How did you break Tomas’ freezing spell?” she addressed Jasper in a hoarse whisper while he was still bound, helpless, to the wall. Jasper struggled against the ice, panicking and muttering threats frantically. Bella grabbed his chin and forced her brother to meet her gaze, sending him an empathic wave of calm which Jasper gratefully absorbed. 

She examined his butterscotch eyes closely as she continued. “While we were fighting. I’ve never seen someone break their own telekinetic hold so easily. Vampires can’t do magick. How did you set yourself free?” Josephat cut in over Jasper’s denials and confused protestations, turning from his examination of Jasper’s reiki. “He is true my lady. There is no illusion on his form.” 

Bella’s suspicion faded, and she released the ice’s hold on Jasper, who shot to Alice’s side before addressing Bella in a calm and clear voice. “I truly don’t know, Bella. I just wanted to be able to fight, to protect Alice and my family.” His gaze was surprisingly affectionate as he looked at his human sister. 

“I’m sorry they were able to hurt you." Bella stated, subdued. Jasper nodded and lowered his chin to rest on top of Alice’s head; his wife clutched at his waist, turning so her body clung to his. 

“Well, fuck. So much for not finding trouble. Kaedra is never going to let me hear the end of this.” 

Josephat had finished freeing the Cullens and was quick to turn his attention to his brave and noble Queen. “I need to heal your injuries, my lady. Carlisle, come and assist me.” Jo hoped his addition of her vampire-father to the conversation would keep Bella from punching his lights out. Bella knew what he was about to say and shot him a dirty look. 

“You can pout all you want, child, but you know that I am right. The fire’s blessing is near, and being indestructible would be nothing but an advantage.” Josephat pointed out as he examined the cut on Bella’s forehead, directing her to sit in her abandoned chair before she could fall over from the shivers wracking her form. 

The burning spell had done significant damage, and any other Fae would be a screaming mess on the floor. But Isabella was not any other Fae, and she looked at him scathingly as she replied. 

“Yeah, as long as I didn’t mind spending eternity with Tomas in my bed. Oh wait; I do mind. ” She rolled her eyes, knocking Jo’s hand away from her forehead and getting up to pace, heedless of Carlisle’s restraining hand on her shoulder. 

Carlisle turned to Jo. “I don’t understand. The fire’s blessing? Eternity?” 

His queen looked at her healer as the scent of fresh blood pooled in the air and joined the dying scent of her older wounds, silently commanding him to explain and spitting the result of the binding’s curse onto the floor. 

“There are five blessings given to the Fae by the elemental spirits. These blessings are entrusted to us to guard. 

The blessings can be anything, but fire’s blessing is special. It takes the form of a roaring flame which can never be extinguished, and grants unending, indestructible immortality to all that it chooses, when they drink of the flames. 

This blessing fell to the Master’s forces in the beginning of the war, and Tomas is charged with keeping it safe. He’s ancient, even older than me, maybe older than Kaedra. 

His interest in young Isabella started when he was more closely linked with the Master’s forces, before his Chosen died. He has gone quite insane, and desires nothing more than her hand in eternal marriage. 

He would give Isabella the flames freely, just to have the chance to woo her to an eternity at his side.” 

Bella continued for him. “That’s why he hasn’t called the Master yet, he wants to give me the chance to join him. But it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t touch the eternal fire with a ten- foot pole as long as Tomas controls it. Who wants eternity with that scumbag?” 

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at his headstrong daughter. “You seemed eager for immortality in Forks.” 

Bella waved his mild objection away as though it didn’t matter at all, slapping Josephat’s approaching hand away from her aching ribs as she threw herself back in the chair, exhausted. “The fire’s blessing is more specific. Once you drink of the flames, you can never die. Besides, eternity is all about who’s keeping you company. I don’t want to live forever just for the hell of it. The only reason I wanted to be turned was because your family and Edward were involved. Well, that and I thought it might wipe the slate clean.” 

Carlisle blinked, in shock at this new bit of information about his son’s lover. In the back of his mind, he had always wondered if Bella was simply manipulating his son to gain what many humans considered the ultimate prize. What he had just learned shut that quiet suspicion quite firmly out of his thoughts. 

Bella shook her head at him, reading the emotions on his face with ease. “Honestly Carlisle, I’m disappointed in you. Hell, Jo would've made me eternal anytime I asked him to. He’s even offered a few times. I’ve never pursued immortality for its own sake, I never saw the point. And vampiric immortality would render me incapable of performing magick.” 

Carlisle gently wiped the blood from her chin with a bit of his still unbuttoned shirt, wet from the river; and the floodwaters that had risen as Bella defended his family. He noticed that the girl was still shaking from the attack she had taken for Esme. Bella had saved his wife from sure death. “I shouldn’t have doubted your intentions, my dear daughter. I'm sorry.” 

Bella blinked at him in the grungy light, opening her mouth to speak before she cast her attention outwards urgently, turning towards the announcing footsteps of a group of guards that were rapidly approaching their cell. 

Page Break  
...Ready For it? 

Bella shot a warning glance at her vampires and turned back to face Josephat. “You and Tomas were pretty close before all this. What can you tell me about his hold on the flames? Be quick.” The guards’ footsteps were interspersed with raucous laughter now, their taunts and jabs echoing down the dim hallway as they approached the cell. 

“I know that the fire’s blessing does not bow to anyone and rejects Tomas’ possession of it. It has not chosen him, much to his annoyance.” 

Bella snapped him a soldier’s nod, her outfit shimmering as it was replaced with her golden dress. The scars on her back were revealed once more and cast deep shadows on her skin where the suddenly strobing light caught them. The music began with a pounding bass. 

The battalion of guards corralled them out of their cell and into the main room, which was enormous and empty of all decoration. The cold gray stone of the castle was imposing in the crowded space. Tomas stood on an elevated stage at the opposite side of the room, across from an ornate dish of fire that burned wildly. The fire took the shape of a Pheonix in flight as their group was led through the mass of black-clad soldiers. 

Edward read the despair rising in Jasper’s mind as he took in the huge, already-rowdy crowd of burly men between them and the exit. They were near where Bella stood; bound, helpless, and heavily- guarded. His lover was calm in the face of the jeering crowd; stepping on to the stage with grace and poise, as though she wasn’t being led to her eternal imprisonment. She turned to address their captor in a loud voice that echoed over the crowd. 

Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him   
Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted   
But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom   
Holdin' him for ransom 

Bella turned to Edward with sudden mischievousness, motioning dismissively back to Tomas as she addressed his frozen form. 

Some, some boys are tryin' too hard   
You don't try at all, though   
Younger than my exes but you act like such a man, so   
I see nothing better; I keep you forever   
Like a vendetta-ta 

She flashed in front of the now feral-eyed Tomas, her useless binds falling to the floor of the stage as Bella attacked him head on with grace. She shoved Tomas before he could react, pushing him to fall towards the complex altar where the eternal fire burned. 

I-I-I see how this is gon' go   
Touch me and you'll never be alone   
I-Island breeze and lights down low   
No one has to know 

Her eyes flashed black, and this time the color held in her eyes, spreading to black holes. Her determined approach grew seductive and slow, beckoning Tomas to stand and come closer with a crooked finger. 

In the middle of the night, in my dreams   
You should see the things we do, baby 

Images of Tomas torturing Bella flashed around her on the stage, and Edward’s wrath was like a physical thing, burning under his skin as Edward demanded his body move to defend his love. 

In the middle of the night, in my dreams   
I know I'm gonna be with you   
So I take my time   
Are you ready for it? 

The crowd of soldiers exploded into frenzied motion, and Edward felt the freezing-spell drop from him as Bella snapped her fingers. He leapt towards a spectator who was between him and the stage, twisting the man’s neck brutally and bloodlessly, killing him before the shock faded from his features. Alice and Rosalie covered him from the rear, with Emmet and Jasper clearing his path to where Bella sang. Carlisle and Esme took up a defensive stance with Josephat’s arms already rising behind them, water pooling into ice at his fingertips. 

Me, I was a robber first time that he saw me   
Stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry   
But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist   
And we'll move to an island-and 

Tomas rushed Bella desperately, throwing his arms around her waist and dragging her closer to the altar where the fire burned. 

And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor   
Every lover known in comparison is a failure   
I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now   
Never be the same now, now 

Bella struggled against Tomas’ hold, and Edward feared he wouldn’t get there in time, too many bodies between him and his love. Suddenly, light broke into the enormous room, Kaedra and Marcos leading the charge as hundreds of Camp’s soldiers flooded the space. Black-clad enemies began to teleport away, realizing the battle was lost. 

I-I-I see how this is gon' go   
Touch me and you'll never be alone   
I-Island breeze and lights down low   
No one has to know   
(No one has to know) 

Edward made it to where Tomas was restraining his struggling lover and snarled fiercely as he ripped him from her. He drew Bella close to him and set her on her feet, before turning to face the wicked man. 

In the middle of the night, in my dreams   
You should see the things we do, baby   
In the middle of the night in my dreams   
I know I'm gonna be with you   
So I take my time   
Are you ready for it? 

A sudden earthquake split the room where the stage was raised above the floor, heat rising as lava poured from the crack to halt the approaching forces of Bella’s soldiers. 

Ooh, are you ready for it? 

Baby, let the games begin   
Let the games begin   
Let the games begin   
Baby, let the games begin   
Let the games begin   
Let the games begin 

Tomas was looking behind Edward; his focus on Isabella, who was sprinting towards the altar where the fire lay in its ornate dish. Confusion flitted across his face, and then realization swept across it, followed swiftly by horror. His lip curled into a snarl, and Tomas focused on Edward’s approaching form, already raising his hand to strike at the annoying vampire. 

I-I-I see how this is gon' go   
Touch me and you'll never be alone   
I-Island breeze and lights down low   
No one has to know 

Bella’s shout distracted the two fighters from their half-begun battle. She was bracing her weight against the ornate dish on the altar, shouting a battle-cry and glowing brightly as she pushed the dish from its pedestal. The dish teetered on its edge for a half-second, before falling from the stage, upside-down on the stone floor with fire spreading from it. Edward’s love turned to Tomas and spat on the floor at his feet. 

In the middle of the night, in my dreams   
You should see the things we do, baby   
In the middle of the night, in my dreams   
I know I'm gonna be with you   
So I take my time   
In the middle of the night 

Baby, let the games begin   
Let the games begin   
Let the games begin   
Are you ready for it?   
Baby, let the games begin   
Let the games begin   
Let the games begin   
Are you ready for it? 

Tomas disappeared in a whoosh of air, and Bella turned her back to where Edward stood, approaching the embers and ashes of the eternal flame. 

Page Break

Know Who You Are 

Edward froze of his own accord, fear racing through him. The shadows were turning long and distorted in the suddenly dark room, a supernatural sense of foreboding rising in the air. He felt his family stiffen and draw together behind him, and Josephat conjured a weak blue-tinted light that illuminated nothing but his parents’ frightened faces. 

The blackness was reminiscent of the void before the Cullens entered Havana, though there was no brightly-lit doorway to break the menacing dark. 

Quiet, ghostly whispers rose from all that remained of the eternal fire. 

Soft light rose from the embers and illuminated his love’s face. Bella’s expression was gentle and hope-filled, focused as she approached the overturned dish on the floor, cupping her hand around the embers and coating them in a soft exhale. The embers flared and sparked, and the weak morning sunlight floated back into the room slowly as Bella’s soft voice filled the space, singing in harmony with the whispers that echoed in the darkness. 

I have crossed the horizon to find you   
(Ou loto mamaina toa)   
I know your name   
(Manatu atu)   
They have stolen the heart from inside you   
(Taku pelepele)   
But this does not define you   
(Manatunatu)   
This is not who you are   
You know what you are. 

When Bella removed her hand from where it covered the flaring embers, a red stone pendant embedded with a complicated mandala lay innocently on the scorched stone floor.


	8. Darkness

Well, it’s 4 in the morning, and I’m still writing. 

Ya’ll, this chapter took all I had. If you’re not exhausted after reading it, I didn’t do it right. 

I hope it makes sense. 

Dedicated to all those who pull me from the darkness. 

PLEASE Read and Review 

LINKS: 

Archive of our Own account is coming soon! 

Devintart: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73160583/breakdown-chapter-7-darkness 

Spotfy: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2dr0vhc7Ztoc4lUKSv9IDv?si=kWzgcZN-QyCBnF2Er0YosA 

Youtbe: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WBbzgJCvenW3wisDnuRdi7N 

Livejurnal: 

Page Break

Dance in the Dark 

Two days later, Bella languished in the privacy of her office with her aching head in her hands. Edward had been furious with her since they had returned from the Badlands and Tomas’ castle, going so far as to leave her sleeping alone in the medical wing. 

“I was helpless, Bella. I couldn’t defend you. Why would you trap me behind that shield, at the river? Why can Jasper fight for you, but I can’t?” 

Bella had tried to explain that she needed to keep him safe, that she couldn’t stand even the thought of him being hurt; but Edward had been deaf to her pleas for understanding. Thinking back on his blind fury, Bella sighed. Addy would’ve understood. She paused, thinking painfully of the love she had held when she was younger and blotting at the blood pooling in her mouth with a nearby cloth. Addy would’ve understood, yes; but Fiore would’ve shared Edward’s anger, and been right to do so. He had so hated to be robbed of his choices. 

She leaned back, resting her head against the back of her comfortable desk chair, and absently spun the pendant holding the fire’s blessing where it hung from her neck. 

She needed to fix this. The situation was getting more and more complicated, and she didn’t need friction with her lover on top of everything else. 

Kaedra knocked briefly before she entered the office. “Where’s your shadow?” she asked, not even greeting Bella properly before beginning her interrogation. “Thought that blood-sucking lover of yours stalked you everywhere. Trouble in paradise?” 

Bella idly motioned her Regent to the futon-couch along one wall in the green, calming space; gesturing for her to sit for a moment while still distracted by her thoughts. Bella was tired of being alone. 

“Edward-” she put special emphasis on her lover’s name, sick of Kaedra’s bigoted insults already, “is tending to his mother and brother, both of whom have endured a harrowing experience.” 

“Enough about the stupid vampires. The political gala went well, even with your absence; but we need to think about Tomas’ next move. He won’t take your refusal of his offer well. It’s very likely The Master will be able to draw him back into the fold.” Kaedra’s destroyed eye did not detract from the cold beauty of the glare on her face. “It’s always one step forward and two steps back with you, Isabella.” 

“Well, I am a dancer.” 

Despite her flippant reply, Bella was worried about Tomas’ retribution as well. Painfully worried. As long as she had known him, Tomas was always able to get under her skin, striking at her more effectively than even the Master could. As a result, Bella had been coy and cautious with her avoidance of his marriage proposal, but he had finally been successful in forcing her hand and making her show her cards before she was ready. 

The acquisition of the eternal flame was a victory, and no small one, but Bella’s heart didn’t share in the celebratory atmosphere of Camp. She was too worried about the price she would surely pay for her impertinence. 

Lizzie’s voice echoed into the room from the hallway, Josephat hot on her heels. “-- It is not relevant, Elizabeth. She doesn’t need to know. It changes nothing. She was released from the medical wing just this morning, Lizzie. She’s more fragile than you know.” 

“If you think I am keeping something like this from her, you’ve got another thing coming. She’s bound to find out anyway. You know secrets cause nothing but pain.” 

Bella and Kaedra rose to their feet, already facing the door when Lizzie burst through it desperately. “My Queen, you must see this.” 

Bella and Kaedra followed the pair swiftly to the main Council chamber, where Marcos already waited. The contained echo played in the air over the long table, showing a mortal news feed. 

The Cullens were in the Library, across from the grand balcony that was the Council’s official meeting place, and they raced into the room at the commotion. Bella’s dead face and stiff posture stopped them in their tracks. The newscaster’s impersonal tone rang in their ears across the marble space. 

“ -- In the small town of Forks, Washington, fires still rage, with high casualties that continue to climb. A nearby reservation has also been hit hard, and citizens are reporting wild tales of wolves pulling people from their burning homes. The chief of police, Charles Swan, is one of the casualties; after he ran into the burning school to save a group of students trapped under a collapsing roof. The gas explosion took place during the school’s graduation ceremony, and started the wildfires burning through Washington’s forests. The National Guard has been called in to...” 

The words faded and echoed in Bella’s mind, becoming senseless garbage. The camera panned across the familiar woods where Bella had found new life, showing the destruction wrought on the small town. “Only one home in the surrounding area has survived the flames--” Bella felt horror and shock flow through her as the camera zoomed in on the Cullen’s house, showing firemen fighting flames that never went past the boundary of the driveway. Her spell—The spell she had cast on the Cullen house to protect them from the Master’s shades and find them a safe place to go... Spells, especially powerful ones, were rare in the mortal world. With the Black Beetles disappearance and Demetri’s death-- Oh God, she had left a trail. 

Tomas had done this. 

A ragged gasp escaped from Bella’s iron control, and she fled the company of her friends and her vampires. Her human father was dead, Forks destroyed. Had any of her mortal acquaintances survived? 

...What had she done? 

Page Break  
Going Under 

Bella felt Edward’s aura approach her hiding spot in the royal gardens; her magickal senses were overloaded and sparking in her brain. She had closed her eyes against the serene beauty of the space, trying desperately to control the urge to rip the foliage to shreds. 

She didn’t want him seeing her like this. She knew it would be impossible to shield him from the evil that warped her wounded soul forever. Still, she had foolishly hoped to protect him from her internal darkness for a little while longer. 

She didn’t open her eyes as Edward entered the small, gated alley where Bella had hidden herself. He paused, taking in her posture: her head on her knees and tucked into the corner, her face hidden by her arms. She had curled in on herself on the low stone bench, making her body as small as possible. She felt him settle on the small bench next to her, his cooler body temperature raising goosebumps on her arm as he reached for her hand. 

“I’m so sorry, Bella.” 

Bella felt the roiling tension in her soul snap with the sound of cracking glass. 

She threw herself off the bench before Edward could touch her, standing over him and leaning in towards his face as she snarled. “It’s a terrible idea for me to lose my temper, Edward, so I suggest you leave. And take your nosy, prying family with you.” 

The rest of the Cullens were gathered around the gate that blocked the entrance to the narrow alcove of the garden, looking unreasonably shocked at Bella’s rage. Bella could not escape without going through the group of vampires, and the trapped-in feeling made her already delicate hold on her temper weaken further. 

“None of this—none of this would have happened if you hadn’t gone digging into things that weren’t any of your damn business.“ Grey thunderclouds were forming to block out the strong summer sun; echoes flashed violently through the rapidly-darkening garden. 

-Jasper turning her wrist in his grasp from across a chessboard, Carlisle’s shocked stillness, the sound of clothes tearing as Alice’s face loomed- 

Bella clutched at her aching head, feeling her pupils begin to dilate unnaturally, and letting out a frustrated shout as she banished the violent images with a decisive clap of her hands. 

Kaedra was suddenly between her and Edward, hands raised to show she was unarmed. “Isabella Swan, you need to calm down. Right now.” The plants around them were growing unnaturally quickly, and Edward jumped up from the bench as it crumbled beneath him, turning to find it already being overtaken with thorns and weeds. 

Thunder rumbled in the sky, lightening flashing in the sudden storm before rain began to fall in sheets, pinging on the stained-glass ceiling of the cavern that housed Camp. The pendant around Bella’s neck was glowing a deep and menacing blood-red. 

Edward looked around in confusion and shock, at the display of unthinkable power. “Bella-what’s- ” 

Bella shoved Kaedra telekinetically to the ground on her knees, holding her there as her pupils stretched, her eyes black holes once more. She was panting heavily. 

‘Get out. Get away from me. NOW.” 

When Edward hesitated, Bella threw him into the sandstone wall of one of the buildings forming the narrow alcove, freezing him there with a snap of her fingers. Her head turned to follow his body’s path across the space like a striking cobra. She heard Emmett cry out in warning, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Jasper catch his wife before she could fall. Alice was clutching at her head and screaming loud and long: her eyes a clouded white. Esme and Carlisle were turning their attention to their screaming, shattered daughter; but Rosalie stood apart from them. Her eyes were on Bella, projecting calm and understanding. 

Josephat was running up to the gate, cursing robustly as he shed his coat onto the ground and approached; but none of it mattered, everything was ruined, she was going to die. She was going to lose herself in this parasitic darkness that rose up in her soul, uncontrollable and sharp as it cut her to pieces, bringing pain again, and again, and-- 

The echoes were back: images of Bella with white eyes, shaking on her bed in her Fork’s bedroom and painfully thin; Charlie’s concerned face in the middle of the night; Jacob and motorcycles crashing; the view from the top of a cliff’s edge at the water below; of Edward in Volterra and the sun glinting off his skin; of the Volturi, and Jane meeting her gaze. 

Some small part of Bella’s mind rebelled as she approached Edward slowly and seductively, her hips swaying rhythmically to unheard music as she crowded him against the wall. “You want to love me? I think it's time you realized what that means.” She forced her lips on his; as alarm bells rang in her head and throughout Havana. 

Marcos was outside of the alley, assisting her citizens, who were rushing past the conflict unfolding in the garden and running for cover. Flames fell from the clouds to smash through the elaborate glass ceiling. The ground shook beneath their feet, and sirens echoed around the cavern as she forced Jo and the Cullens to their knees as well, locking them in place and silencing them with a thought. She released Edward from her hold and addressed him darkly, backed by the sound of rough guitar. 

Now I will tell you what I've done for you   
Fifty-thousand tears I've cried   
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you   
And you still won't hear me (I'm going under) 

Shimmering gold tried to break into the void of Bella’s consumed gaze, but it was gone again in a flash of lightening, and Bella threw Edward down the alley towards his immobilized family like a ragdoll. His cold stone form crashed into the iron gate, knocking it off its hinges and landing heavily, the gate carving a ditch into the dirt as it impacted with the shaking sandstone. He struggled to his feet and braced himself for the next blow. Bella levitated off of the ground, the golden glow spreading around her the only light left in the shadows of the cavern. 

Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself   
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)   
Not tormented, daily defeated by you   
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom   
I'm dying again 

Bella felt the Master reach into her mind from far away, his telepathic voice a low chant that grew until none of her own thoughts could break through to be acknowledged; and she turned her black gaze from Edward before she could set him aflame. Her arm muscles clenched as she removed her hands from her head to throw them outward, screaming into the dark. She released her family from where they were frozen with a golden flash of light. 

I'm going under (going under)   
Drowning in you (drowning you)   
I'm falling forever (falling forever)   
I've got to break through   
I'm going under 

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies   
So I don't know what's real and what's not   
Always confusing the thoughts in my head   
So I can't trust myself anymore 

She fell to her knees, screaming: her hands tensing into claws as blood ran from her arms and back; old wounds re-opening. She struggled to maintain even a hint of herself. The echoes flashed: 

\--Marcos approaching her in a shabby hotel room as Kaedra restrained her from attacking him; -- herself, younger and in Pheonix now, throwing her laptop against the wall as Renee screamed at her, her human mother crying; -- herself, in a hospital bed with Josephat addressing a nurse in a deadly whisper; -- blackness, but the sound of a whip cracking, faster and faster now. -- 

The split-second images crowded overtop one another; before suddenly there was only one: Bella was in a crowded city square, surrounded by horrified looking people. There was no sound, only oppressive silence. Bella was in her underwear; bleeding and broken, kneeling on the ground with her shattered leg stretched behind her and clutching a red-haired girl’s body to hers, screaming unheard into the corpse’s neck; in the image, windows shattered all through the square and mortals ducked for cover. 

I'm dying again 

I'm going under (going under)   
Drowning in you (drowning you)   
I'm falling forever (falling forever)   
I've got to break through 

So go on and scream   
Scream at me I'm so far away   
I won't be broken again 

Suddenly, Edward was beside her on one-side, Josephat and Carlisle on the other. Edward gripped her face; forcing her to meet his amber eyes. Control got a little easier, but Bella knew the walls in her mind would not hold for long. 

I've got to breathe I can't keep going under 

I'm dying again 

I'm going under (going under)   
Drowning in you (drowning you)   
I'm falling forever (falling forever)   
I've got to break through 

I'm going under (going under)   
Going under (drowning in you)   
I'm going under 

Bella bowed her head to the ground between Edward and where Jo and Carlisle kneeled; curling over her knees as she closed her eyes, her rage dissolving to leave only grief in its path. 

Page Break

Demons 

Rain and fire were no longer falling down on Havana, though the sky remained dark and overcast. Alice had finally stopped screaming, limp in Emmett’s arms as Jasper shook her roughly. Rosalie approached her mate and sister slowly. Josephat leaned over Bella’s bowed form, blue light spilling from his lips in glowing wisps as he sang accapella; softly wooing his Queen back to herself. 

When the days are cold   
And the cards all fold,   
And the saints we see   
Are all made of gold 

When your dreams all fail   
And the ones we hail   
Are the worst of all,   
And the blood's run stale 

Bella’s forehead left the ground slowly, raising herself from her defeated position just enough to meet Edward’s eyes once more. She took up the song, and guitars rang through the space. 

Edward heard her. Not just physically, but her thoughts as well. The Fae song rang in her head, colored by hope and despair in constant battle, love pouring over every word in a glorious fountain that Edward’s soul drank from greedily. 

I want to hide the truth   
I want to shelter you   
But with the beast inside   
There's nowhere we can hide 

No matter what we dream   
We still are made of greed   
This is my kingdom come   
This is my kingdom come 

Drumbeats echoed through the cavern, and Bella lowered her head again, as though it were too heavy for her shoulders. She rested her eyes, closing with a brush of eyelashes against Edward’s neck. She clutched his hand to her cheek with both of her own. Bella breathed steadily as blue light raced across the wounds that Carlisle held together with both of his pale, shaking hands. The light closed them and swept her precious blood away. Defeat was in the words now, his Bella’s voice in his mind slow and beseeching. 

When you feel my heat   
Look into my eyes   
It's where my demons hide   
It's where my demons hide   
Don't get too close   
It's dark inside   
It's where my demons hide   
It's where my demons hide 

Josephat met Edward’s gaze, still pouring healing magic into his young friend through his hands. Pieces of broken glass were rising all throughout Havana, levitating softly to re-form the magnificent sunroof. The earthquake stopped. 

Jo spoke softly. “No-one quite knows what happened to Bella and her companions in the Master’s company. But we do know the torture she endured was not senseless violence. The Master was jealous of Shannara’s power, and he is even more jealous of Isabella’s. He would claim it as his own, place his brand on her and Bind her to him, possessing her for all eternity. But first her spirit must be broken.” 

“Why?” Edward’s voice was hoarse, and he wasn’t sure if he were addressing Josephat, or whatever God may exist in this world. 

“Isabella Swan is an exceptional Fae, of exceptional power; and not just for her Royal status, though that is its own extraordinary tale. Fae can use magicks across all elements but hold a natural affinity in only one or two. These are where they are most powerful in their magick.“ He nodded towards where Bella clung to him. “She claims all of the elemental affinities as her own.” 

When the curtain's call   
Is the last of all   
When the lights fade out   
All the sinners crawl 

So they dug your grave   
And the masquerade   
Will come calling out   
At the mess you made 

“Bella’s bound tongue prevents us from knowing her side of the story, but as the Master attempted to Bind her to him, something happened. Adeline was killed as a sacrifice in the Dark ritual, and somehow this made Bella able to escape his grasp. Isabella disappeared only a week after she left the mortal hospital where those doctors,” Josephat spat the word, “sewed her scars and called it healing. She spoke to no Fae about her experiences before she left.” 

He took a centering breath and continued; his blue-magic pouring into Bella’s reiki now, soothing the knots that had gathered in her aura. “One thing, however, is certain in this war. If Bella is Bound to the Master, all is lost. Your family will die along with everyone in Camp; and her fate will be one worse than death. But if she does not fall... The Master will surely kill her. Havana will survive, and the war will continue. Your family may even live. But for any of that to happen, Bella’s spirit must not break. If she falls prey to the Master’s influence on her mind, she has asked me to ensure her death.” 

Edward reached to snap Josephat’s neck numbly, his mind spinning; but Bella took his hand before he could, guiding it back to her face and forcing him to meet her eyes. 

Don't want to let you down   
But I am hell bound   
Though this is all for you   
Don't want to hide the truth 

No matter what we breed   
We still are made of greed   
This is my kingdom come   
This is my kingdom come 

Bella’s gaze was lost and hopeless, looking at him as tears made tracks on her cheeks. Malevolent whispers rang in her mind, the deep, male mental voice fading away as Bella sang. Now she sang alone, and her voice did not ring through the cavern as it had before. She was addressing only him, affection and sympathy coloring her mental tone that did not show on her face. 

When you feel my heat   
Look into my eyes   
It's where my demons hide   
It's where my demons hide   
Don't get too close   
It's dark inside   
It's where my demons hide   
It's where my demons hide 

“Edward.” Her opposite hand met his shoulder, which tingled where she slid her warm human hand to rest on the spot where his shoulder met his neck, and she tilted her forehead to rest on his. “I will fight. I will fight as long as I can. You have to know I will. I don’t want to leave you. You will survive, I swear. I’m so sorry, Edward.” 

I say it's what you make   
They say it's up to fate   
It's woven in my soul   
I need to let you go 

Your eyes, they shine so bright   
I want to save their light   
I can't escape this now   
Unless you show me how 

Edward’s hand shook as he suddenly tightened his grip on Bella’s face, silencing her. His eyes were unfocused and shining with tears of venom which would never be shed. He could feel Bella’s determination in the song, but also a quiet acceptance that made his veins boil. 

“Bella. My Bella. Mine. I won’t survive, love. You have to know that. If you die, if you fall, it doesn’t matter. I won’t live without you. I refuse.” He kissed her suddenly, fiercely, as he had every time he had been forced to say goodbye. As his lips met hers, she could feel his mental voice, Edward singing with her in his own thoughts, tinted with an angry edge. 

When you feel my heat   
Look into my eyes   
It's where my demons hide   
It's where my demons hide   
Don't get too close   
It's dark inside   
It's where my demons hide   
It's where my demons hide 

Page Break  
House of Wolves 

“Well, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Kaedra’s voice was loud in the narrow space, and she blinked in front of Edward, throwing him to the ground. Bella did not release her hold on him, nor he on her, and they fell together. 

Edward cushioned Bella’s fall as best he could, before his love released him, whipping around to sit up and face her Regent. Kaedra’s eyes were a deep and solid void. “Shit.” Bella telekinetically pushed Edward towards where the rest of his family still stood and rolled across the ground, kicking up dust as she barreled into Jo and Carlisle. She grabbed the healers’ shirt collars as she continued to roll, jerking them out of the way too. 

Where the group had been a moment before, a deep crevasse had opened in the cavern below them. Its edge crumbled away, stopping inches from where Carlisle lay, and he could see magma pooled at the bottom of the split. 

When Carlisle looked up, Bella was already leaping across the aching maw of the crack, and she struck out at Kaedra with a powerful kick that caught the Master’s lover across the jaw. Though Kaedra’s head snapped to the side upon impact, there was no other effect, and her head simply ticked back into place on her neck with creepy stiffness. 

She was fully recovered from a blow that should have broken her neck. Blood poured from her mouth in massive amounts; more than the body could hold, as she taunted Bella and began to circle her. 

Well, I know a thing about contrition   
Because I got enough to spare   
And I'll be granting your permission   
'Cause you haven't got a prayer 

Kaedra and the Fae Queen circled in the same spiraling dance Carlisle had seen before. 

Well I said hey, hey hallelujah   
I'm gonna come on sing the praise   
And let the spirit come on through you   
We got innocence for days! 

Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell   
Everybody burn the house right down 

And say, ha   
What I wanna say 

Bella screamed at her Regent and friend as she attacked, seeking to pin Kaedra to the wall of the alcove. 

Tell me I'm an angel   
Take this to my grave 

Kaedra’s eyes were as completely consumed as Bella’s had been, the normally regal woman wild and screaming, as she struggled to hold herself back from attacking. 

Tell me I'm a bad man   
Kick me like a stray   
Tell me I'm an angel   
Take this to my grave 

Bella’s voice was scathing as she replied. 

You play ring around the ambulance   
Well like you never gave a care   
So get the choir boys around you   
It's a compliment, I swear 

Kaedra’s voice was warping, overlaid with another, deeper voice not her own as she turned her black eyes upon them and addressed the entire group. 

And I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down   
I wanna hear you sing the praise   
I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down   
We got innocence for days! 

The spiraling patterns finally met, and Bella and Kaedra grappled while vines wrapped up Kaedra’s legs. The regent’s internal struggle for each movement allowed Bella the advantage easily. Bella and Kaedra’s voices rang as one through the garden. 

Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell   
Everybody burn the house right down 

And say, ha   
What I wanna say   
Tell me I'm an angel   
Take this to my grave   
Tell me I'm a bad man   
Kick me like a stray   
Tell me I'm an angel   
Take this to my grave 

Kaedra threw Bella away in a sudden motion, images of the inside of a tomb and Shannara’s grimoire flashing around the group. She began to struggle against the vines’ strong hold on her, only stopping when they grew wicked thorns. 

You better run like the devil   
'Cause they're never gonna leave you alone! 

The Queen gentled her magickal grasp on Kaedra as soon as she stopped struggling, though her reply was tinged with quickly-controlled fury. 

You better hide up in the alley   
'Cause they're never gonna find you a home! 

And as the blood runs down the walls   
You see me creepin' up these halls   
I've been a bad motherfucker   
Tell your Master I'm another   
Go! Go! Go! 

The vines wrapped Kaedra firmly, barely giving her enough space to breathe as they constricted around her form and restrained all movement, drawing her back into the thorns and weeds. Suddenly, Carlisle noticed the deadly quiet that had spread across Havana and he looked up from his place on the floor to meet Isabella’s doe-brown eyes.  
Page Break  
Howl 

Bella turned from Carlisle’s shell-shocked form and raced to Alice’s side. By the time she got there, Edward and Carlisle were already behind her; Esme grasped for her husband’s hand. Josephat was already examining Alice’s motionless body, but Bella ignored him and reached for her sister’s face. Jasper grabbed her scarred wrist with a growl, stopping her. 

“Jasper, I can help her.” 

“How?” Josephat cut in over Jasper’s growls as they faded, and Bella was released. 

“I told you, Alice is gifted with the Sight. Look: just keep an eye on my reiki please. I think one temper tantrum is enough for the day.” Bella smoothed her hand across Alice’s forehead, and her eyes were consumed with a pale gold that rapidly faded to cloudy white. Emmett gasped, turning to Josephat. “Since when can Bella see the future? And what’s with the creepy eyes around here?” 

Jo replied distractedly, blue-energy crackling at his fingertips as he revealed Bella’s aura for all to see. “Isabella holds all of the affinities. The element of Spirit will have gifted her with the Sight, but I have never seen her use it before. Quiet please.” 

Bella’s gaze shifted and rolled, focusing on the things only she and Alice could see. 

“Edward, what are they seeing?” Esme’s question was high-pitched, and her voice shook. 

Edward shook his head. “There’s just a song, it doesn’t make any sense. I’ve never been blocked from Alice’s visions before.” 

Carlisle answered him. “From what I understand from Alice’s training with the Fae, their brand of Sight is very different from Alice’s normal way of seeing. Maybe--” 

“Quiet.” 

Bella’s aura was shifting now, becoming a brighter and purer gold, almost white itself. The gold flared in the confines of the dark that bordered it, and suddenly Camp was coated in colors again, the sun beaming through the repaired ceiling with renewed strength. 

Bella gasped and Alice did too, Jasper already embracing her joyfully as her eyes faded into the topaz irises that defined his family. “What the hell?” Alice’s confusion was palpable, but Edward only had eyes for Bella: 

Her eyes were flashing lazily between a menacing black and cloudy white, before her posture relaxed and she removed her hand from Alice’s head, her eyes fading into warm brown again. 

“Sorry Alice. I must have thrown you into destiny’s path when I started to lose control.” 

Jasper growled at Bella again, snatching Alice away from Emmett’s grasp; seeking to gather his wife behind him and further away from Bella. 

“I can’t promise it won’t happen again, Jasper. Alice’s gift is very strong, and I can’t control Destiny. But the experience wasn’t, and shouldn’t be, painful for her. Just disorienting.” 

Alice rested her hand on Jasper’s chest. “I’m okay Jazz, really. Weirdly tired, but I’m okay.” 

“What did you see?” 

Alice met Bella’s gaze before she replied, and Bella subtly motioned a ‘No’ with her hand, which was hidden at her side. 

“Stuff.” Alice’s voice was chipper and annoying, in a tone Edward recognized. The whole family shook their heads, looking down at the ground with shared exasperation written across their features. They would get nothing from her. Alice could be almost as stubborn as Bella, especially when it came to the future. 

Bella clapped her hands together. “Well, that was fun. Let’s never do it again.” 

Page Break  
Try 

Lizzie rushed to meet them as their ragged group approached Castle HQ, her expression panicked. Shannara had returned to herself and walked under her own power, Kaedra once more. The regent was slightly alienated from the group; Marcos was explaining her true identity to a shocked Josephat. Edward and Bella clung to one another, and Emmett and Carlisle were quietly talking to Alice; respectively trying to reason with her and annoy her into revealing her powerful vision. Jasper vibrated behind Alice, his hand still gripping his wife’s tightly as he scanned constantly for threats. Lizzie turned to where Rosalie and Esme walked together, quietly inquiring. 

“What the hell was all that? Were we attacked? I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

Rosalie’s voice was icy as she shrugged her shoulders. “Believe me, me neither. Insanity is what that was. Bella had a panic attack.” She didn’t mean for it to sound so cold, but it came out that way all the same. 

Rosalie was not without empathy for Bella, for the way her life had been dragged into darkness and muck. She understood her Fae sister more now, and was able to relate to the grief and shame that could result from someone else's’ actions. But Rosalie hated pity and wouldn’t give it to Bella. She knew it would not comfort her. 

Lizzie escorted them to the dining room where the Fae of Camp had gathered for the evening meal, already gossiping about the day’s events. When the drained group sat together at one of the long tables with their respective meals, Rosalie wormed her way into the spot across from Edward and Bella. Carlisle was on the other side of her mind-reading brother, who glared at her warningly but allowed himself to be distracted by their father. 

Bella looked at her expectantly, and Rosalie’s mouth went dry. She had never been speechless before, every thought in her vampiric brain screeching to a halt. So far, Bella had saved her, her mother, her sister, and her father from certain death or worse. Jasper was intimidated by her, hell, even Emmett admired her. Edward was head over heels for the girl. Suddenly, Rosalie was intimidated by the strength Bella possessed. 

Well, she may not know the weight of the world on her shoulders, but if there was one thing Rosalie knew how to do, it was pick up and move on. So, Rose swallowed her judgement of Bella’s actions and addressed her sister with true warmth in her tone. 

“About those dress designs...” 

Bella laughed, the sound a welcome relief to all who heard it. 

Ever wonder 'bout what he's doing   
How it's all turned to lies   
Sometimes I think that it's better,   
To never ask why 

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame   
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned   
But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try 

Funny how the heart can be deceiving   
More than just a couple times   
Why do we fall in love so easy   
Even when it's not right 

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame   
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned   
But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try 

Ever worry that it might be ruined   
And does it make you wanna cry   
When you're out there doing what you're doing   
Are you just getting by   
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by 

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame   
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned   
But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try 

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try 

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try   
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try


	9. Doubt

My brother’s getting married tomorrow, and damn. Look at this lonely drivel. 

ANGST. Major, unresolved angst. 

So dramatic.... 

READ AND REVIEW! I NEEEEEEED THEM! 

Dedicated to my exes. (Love ya’ll. Stay over there.) 

LINKS: 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4iEckfoD7JzOq8hdTHjD0e?si=iLdrzHAkTUCntDo4xraSMw 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WD7rljWqsGfMJawh8viljfq 

DeviantART: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73176851/breakdown-chapter-8 

Page Break

Almost Lover 

Edward toyed with Bella’s hair as she slept next to him. After dinner, the group had split up, Jo muttering something about teaching Carlisle to monitor Bella’s reiki that made his father light up like a shooting star. Carlisle was thrilled to be able to help his Fae daughter, and if he could learn more about magick and the Fae’s special abilities while doing so, more’s the better. He and Josephat had disappeared onto the balcony to talk as soon as they had crossed the threshold of the attic. 

Kaedra and Marcos took off too, sharing a loaded look as Bella began to nod off during dinner, and excusing themselves with a nebulous explanation about “state business”, heading towards Bella’s office. 

Esme was still flitting around the kitchen in case every Fae in Camp got hungry in the night. Or at least that’s what Edward guessed from the amount of food she was preparing. In her mind, Edward read his mother’s feeling of uselessness. She felt small and helpless when she thought of all that had been revealed that day. 

Jasper and Alice had gone for a walk after dinner, and Emmett and Rosalie were already in their room for the night; so Edward called to his mother softly, beckoning her to sit on the couch across from where he and Bella lay together on the futon-bed. 

“Hey mom. Are you okay?” 

Esme wiped her hands nervously on a kitchen towel. “I don’t know. I’ll be okay, I think. None of it has really sunk in yet. I keep thinking back to that girl. The red-headed one in the images. It was like everything in Bella’s past circled back to that horrific echo of the square.” 

Josephat had been subdued when they asked him about the echoes they had seen in the alley as Bella panicked. “Echoes are intensely personal, my friends. They reveal memories of their casters, or of the place where they are cast. I must respect Bella’s privacy. There are some things which will not be explained until Isabella is capable of explaining them to you. Just know the girl’s name was Adeline. She, Bella, and Fiore were very close as children. She died as the Master attempted to Bind your Bella to him. The echo must have been powerfully felt to escape the binds on Bella’s memories.” He had inclined his head at them in a respectful half-bow, and would say no more on the subject. 

Bella was sometimes unnaturally still as she slept, and tonight she slept deeply with Edward by her side. He knew there would be no half-murmurs of his name tonight. Edward regretted leaving Bella in the medical wing alone; he had missed the feel of her soft body warming his. 

He didn’t even really notice when Esme reached to brush Bella’s hair out of her eyes, but when his mother’s cool hand met Bella’s face, Bella mumbled softly and nuzzled Esme's hand. If Edward had not been a vampire, he would not have heard the garbled whisper. “Addy,come to bed. Fio is hogging the covers again.” 

Bella shot forward into a sitting position, half-awake and struggling to breathe as blood filled her mouth. Jo and Carlisle ran into the room, but Bella waved them off; she was already running for the kitchen sink. Edward held back her hair as she spit the binding’s cursed blood into the sink. She turned her back to it and slid down to the floor, shaking slightly, but calm, as Edward spoke soothing nonsense to her. 

Before Edward could follow, she got up and entered the room where Carlisle and Esme stayed. Bella went straight to the large desk in the corner and flipped a previously-unseen switch inside the top drawer. The surface of the desk opened with a pop, and Bella reached inside slowly; Edward spied a violin in the space before Bella closed it, clutching at the mirror shard she drew from the secret well of the desk. 

“What is that?” Josephat asked with guarded suspicion. 

“Just a memory, Jo. Quit worrying.” Bella held the shard up to the light, and Edward saw the red-headed girl’s face reflected where Bella’s should have been. The girl was laughing, somehow older than she had been, dead in the echo; as Bella tilted the shard, an angular man with deep brown eyes and facial hair appeared, his face serious. Bella closed her fist around the shard, tucking it into the pocket of her ratty sweats. 

She turned to the group crowded in the doorway and addressed Esme and Carlisle. “Sorry, guys. This used to be my room, and I have a few things still stored in here. If you don’t mind, I’d like to leave them where they are.” She patted the desk as though sharing a secret with them, before she smiled and walked to him. “Come on, lover-boy. I’m still exhausted, and I don’t sleep well without my personal AC. Carlisle, remember Fae are still human, we have to sleep.” 

She patted Josephat’s shoulder as she passed, and he watched her cross to the bed sadly. “Goodnight, Carlisle, Esme, Edward. My queen has commanded I sleep, and I must comply.” 

“Damn straight.” Bella’s voice called to Jo, who grinned and left the attic as Edward held his love in his arms once more, content to leave the small mystery to rest until tomorrow. 

The next day progressed normally, and the one after that. The Fae magicks gave them awe-inspiring control over any physical matter. A week after Bella’s panic attack in the garden, Edward would never have guessed Camp had seen any damage at all. 

On the third day after Bella pulled the mirror shard from the desk, Marcos approached Edward during breakfast. Bella had gone to get a second plate of eggs, hungrier now that she was busy from sunrise until long after midnight. “Hey Edward. Look, I don’t mind your relationship with Isa, I mean I really don’t. Well, I try not to. But if you keep her from training one more time, you and I are gonna have a problem.” 

“What?” 

“Can vampires even be hard of hearing? I said--” 

“I heard what you said. Bella’s been to training every day since we got here. I know how much she enjoys it.” 

It was true. Bella loved her sparring sessions with the soldiers. She taught several of the adult classes and trained with the children of Camp every day. She lost track of time easily on the training grounds, her focus sharpening until none of Edward’s human Bella remained; in her place stood a Fae warrior and Queen. 

“Oh. I see. Isa has always been a sneaky one. Careful, Edward. You know what they say about a lover who stays late at the office.” 

Marcos swaggered away; for just a moment, Edward let himself imagine the taste of the commander’s blood on his tongue. 

Then, he did the only thing he could do with the fear and anxiety rising in his brain: He went to find Bella. 

When he finally found his love, she was walking down the hallway to her office; it was an hour after she had told him she was off to practice solo at the training grounds. Bella stopped at the room across the hall from her office. He had never seen the inside of that room, no one had. He had assumed it was a closet. Bella materialized a small, rusted key from nowhere, and the lock rasped softly when she opened the door. 

Just then, Lizzie walked by with a stack of paperwork about six inches high, and Bella stopped with the door half-closed to chat with her. Purposely not thinking too hard, Edward slipped into the room with all the stealth he possessed. He hid himself in a nearby armoire and waited. 

The room had once been light and lush; grandiose, as were all the rooms in Camp. Golden wallpaper had peeled and faded, streaked with dirt and bloody streaks forming handprints. Ashes and half burned music sheets covered the floor; Edward spied a broken arm of a guitar, the strings snapped and curling back against the shard of wood. There was a thick layer of dust on everything but the broken-down white piano; one leg was missing and supported with a stack of books. The French doors at the end of the room opposite the armoire were half-ripped from their hinges, warped, with panes of broken glass creating hundreds of sharp edges. The tall windows were dirty and smudged, with no shutters and only half of a moth-eaten curtain on one window; the rest had been torn from their rods. 

After a few minutes, Edward started to feel silly hiding in the obviously-abandoned music room, and he was just about to open the crooked door of the armoire when he heard the rasp of the key in the lock once more. 

Bella didn’t seem to notice the destroyed and dilapidated room. From the moment she entered the doorway and carefully closed the door behind her, she only had eyes for the piano. 

For all the secrets between them, and for all of the lies that rolled so easily off their tongues, Bella had never given Edward any reason not to trust her completely. Until the moment when Bella placed her hands on the worn black and white keys Edward so loved, and began to play. 

Your fingertips across my skin 

The palm trees swaying in the wind   
Images 

Edward was wasting away, dying in the cramped, dark closet. The echoes that flashed around the room ripped his heart from his chest and threw it at Bella’s feet. He didn’t want it back. He thought distantly of Bella’s medical file and scars hidden from view, of James, of Rosalie’s voice claiming Bella had died. Edward didn’t know if this was worse, but it was close. 

The images were blurry, a camera out of focus and figures that never quite stepped into view. It didn’t matter. Love and loss poured from Bella’s lips with every soft word and note as Bella played and sang. 

You sang me Spanish lullabies   
The sweetest sadness in your eyes   
Clever trick 

Well, I never want to see you unhappy   
I thought you'd want the same for me 

Goodbye, my almost lover   
Goodbye, my hopeless dream   
I'm trying not to think about you   
Can't you just let me be? 

The girl and boy in the image were young teenagers, flashes of eyes and hands, jaw and tongue. The echoes were more feeling and color than sight, though Edward caught young male hands strumming a guitar, a bow pulling across violin strings. 

So long, my luckless romance   
My back is turned on you   
Should've known you'd bring me heartache   
Almost lovers always do 

We walked along a crowded street   
You took my hand and danced with me   
Images 

It was the red-haired girl now, a peck on the cheek, a ballroom, and a waltz in the center of the street, both girls laughing over their shoulders. 

And when you left, you kissed my lips   
You told me you would never, never forget 

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy   
I thought you'd want the same for me 

Strong male hands caressed freckled flesh; manicured nails stretched across piano keys; a gilded mirror suddenly shattered. Bella’s hands fell from the piano keys with a discordant note, tears rising in her voice now, only to fall down her face. The image was of the attic, but the main room where Bella and Edward slept was set up differently, with a massive bed in the center. Two blurry, naked figures lay on the bed, slightly separated but turned to face one another. There was a Bella-sized gap between their bodies. Bella took up the keys again, her body swaying as she felt the music of her own creation fill the space; she was more in a trance than Edward’s family had ever joked he was in when he composed. It was somehow the most beautiful thing Edward had ever seen, and the most heartbreaking. 

Goodbye, my almost lover   
Goodbye, my hopeless dream   
I'm trying not to think about you   
Can't you just let me be?   
So long, my luckless romance   
My back is turned on you   
Should've known you'd bring me heartache   
Almost lovers always do 

The mirror shard from the secret well of the desk was back. Bella set it on the edge of the piano gently, running a finger along its edge before curling in on herself as she had in the garden, screaming the verse at the top of her voice. The shard flashed the older faces of Bella’s lovers at him. 

I cannot go to the ocean   
I cannot drive the streets at night   
I cannot wake up in the morning   
Without you on my mind   
So you're gone and I'm haunted   
And I bet you are justified   
Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out   
Of my life? 

Bella’s voice became a whisper, grief and love spent in equal amounts; gone now, only blank-faced deadness. 

Goodbye, my almost lover   
Goodbye, my hopeless dream   
I'm trying not to think about you   
Can't you just let me be?   
So long, my luckless romance   
My back is turned on you   
Should've known you'd bring me heartache 

Almost lovers always do 

When the song stopped, Bella was silent and still for a moment. Without turning her focus from the piano keys, Bella addressed her hidden lover. 

“I know you’re there, Edward. It’s not nice to spy.” 

She heard the crunch of glass as Edward stepped from the armoire. 

His voice was angry and accusatory. “You play piano?” 

Page Break

What Hurts the Most (Cascada) 

“I do not. I mean I do, but not...not anymore. That is what you got from that?” 

“You told me you had never dated anyone before.: 

Bella shrugged hopelessly. “I lied. How was I supposed to say I had previous lovers, but I couldn’t answer any questions about them? Not to mention the massive amounts of blood that would've brought while I was in close quarters with a vampire. I’m not an idiot.” 

“You lied. You loved them. Both of them. How many others are there Bella? Should I take a number?” 

“Oh, well. Let’s see. How do you wanna count this Edward? I mean, how do you define a lover? This isn’t 1917, Edward. I didn’t even know you when I loved them.” 

“How many?” Terrible suspicion creeped into Edward’s thoughts. Did he mean anything to Bella at all? HIs voice was a deadly whisper-snarl, and he felt his expression turn vampiric. He was going to lose it. 

“Well, let’s see. There’s Addy and Fio, that’s two.” Blood pooled from her mouth, scenting the air and making control that much more difficult. Somehow, the thought of Bella’s pain just made Edward angrier, more possessive. “Then we run into some problems. I mean, since this is last century and all, does my consent matter? If so, Marcos makes three. If not..” Bella choked, her eyes flashing black as her head ticked to the side suddenly. Her voice was hoarse and whisper-soft as she continued, forcing the words past gritted teeth. “More. Demetri was very good at his job.” 

There was a moment. Just a single moment, where Edward thought his insane anger might end, might be drowned in his love and sympathy. And then Bella spat blood to the floor. 

Edward was pushing her up against the wall before he told his body to move, crowding her against it and punishing her with a brutal kiss, his grip tight on her jaw. “Do not. Do not waste a single drop. Mine. My Bella. My blood. No-one else's’. Mine.” 

Edward lapped the blood from Bella’s lips, his need reducing him to animalistic possession, every stone muscle clenched to temper his strength, to keep from hurting her or worse. The taste of her blood in his mouth drove him wild. 

By contrast, Bella relaxed completely, seduction canting her hips against Edward’s, a soft purr rising in her words as she damned him. 

“Did you know there’s a spell, Edward? You could drink from me all day, and I’d never change. Never turn. You could just take everything, until there was nothing left. With enough control, you could drink from me. Every. Day. I'd give it to you. You’d be my first.” 

Shock and pleasure rang through Edward at the thought. 

And then his brain caught up with him. 

He stopped immediately, taking just a second to memorize this moment before he stepped away. “But I’m not. Your first. Consensually. ” The sadness was back, and Edward wanted heat and pain instead. 

Bella sighed, fixing her dress and hair. “Just because I love them doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” 

Edward couldn’t help but notice the present tense. 

“I don’t love you like them. I do love you, Edward. But it’s different. I’m different.” 

“I don’t want your love anymore. Not like this.” 

Page Break

Million Reasons 

“That’s your prerogative.” Bella turned, headed for the door. 

“So that’s it then? It’s over, just like that. Did I mean anything to you at all?” 

It was apparently Bella’s turn for anger. “You idiot. I’ve heard those words from you before. In the woods, remember? When you left.” Bella spat every word. 

“Why did you even take me back? What was the point, Bella? Why?” 

“Because I love you. Irrevocably. Unendingly. Forever. Nothing will, or ever can, change that, Edward. Whether you love me or not doesn’t matter. I’m in love with you, and it is salvation and damnation, all in one.” 

“Do you know what I did, Edward? How I spent my time when you were away? You’ve already seen it, so I may as well tell you. I searched for you. The past, the present, the future. Every one of a thousand iterations of the future. Every painful shard of the past. I looked for clues to save you, to keep you safe from the Master’s grasp, no matter where you went, or what you did...and in everything I saw, all the pain, and darkness, and despair, there was no reality where I didn’t love you. Above all else.” 

“Hell Edward, the whole reason you are even in Havana in the first place is because it was the only safe place left. I’m dying for you. You owe me nothing, but don’t you dare say I don’t love you.” 

You're giving me a million reasons to let you go   
You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show   
You're givin' me a million reasons   
Give me a million reasons   
Givin' me a million reasons   
About a million reasons 

“You think falling for me was difficult? Try being on the run from an ancient disembodied shadow creature with a power fetish, having literally only one rule to follow. Don’t fall in love. But I am in love with you, Edward. Always. Even death won’t stop me loving you. Nothing will. Not even you. “ 

If I had a highway, I would run for the hills   
If you could find a dry way, I'd forever be still   
But you're giving me a million reasons   
Give me a million reasons   
Givin' me a million reasons   
About a million reasons 

“I know you think I am foolish for allowing Kaedra to stay. I know you don’t understand how I can forgive her. But Edward, the truth is? If you had held the whip, I wouldn’t have minded the pain much.” 

I bow down to pray   
I try to make the worst seem better   
Lord, show me the way   
To cut through all his worn out leather   
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away   
But baby, I just need one good one to stay 

“How can you not understand there is nothing I won’t do for you? That my loving you is fixed. Unchangeable.” 

Head stuck in a cycle, I look off and I stare   
It's like that I've stopped breathing, but completely aware   
'Cause you're giving me a million reasons   
Give me a million reasons   
Givin' me a million reasons   
About a million reasons 

“You think I didn’t consider it when you left me alone? Leaving, moving on, giving you up? You told me you didn’t want me anymore then too. You keep saying it, like it changes a damn thing.” 

And if you say something that you might even mean   
It's hard to even fathom which parts I should believe   
'Cause you're giving me a million reasons   
Give me a million reasons   
Givin' me a million reasons   
About a million reasons 

“If I were any kind of Queen, I would’ve killed myself two years ago. I was working up to it. BUt then I met you. I met you and your family and everything changed. I’m asking my people, my precious people to die for you, Edward. To die for my love for you. You really think I care if you mind? If you hate me? I don’t.” 

I bow down to pray   
I try to make the worst seem better   
Lord, show me the way   
To cut through all his worn out leather   
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away   
But baby, I just need one good one to stay 

Baby I'm bleedin', bleedin'   
Stay   
Can't you give me what I'm needin', needin'   
Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith   
But baby, I just need one good one   
Good one, good one, good one, good one, good one 

When I bow down to pray   
I try to make the worst seem better   
Lord, show me the way   
To cut through all his worn out leather   
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away   
But baby, I just need one good one, good one   
Tell me that you'll be the good one, good one   
Baby, I just need one good one to stay 

“Trust me Edward, I’m in deep. Way over my head. We’re pretty damn far from the shallows out here.” 

_____________________________________________________________________________________ 

Page Break

I don't wanna live forever, 'cause I know I'll be living in vain   
And I don't wanna fit wherever   
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home   
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home   
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home   
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home   
I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home 

I just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home   
Until you come back home


	10. Wild

Okay, ya’ll. We’ve gotten through the sad part. Bella and Edward are so stupid. Right? Like, just shut up and love each other, you angsty bastards. 

Anyway, LET’S PARTY! 

Dedicated to my bar friends. Party on. 

WARNING: EXTREMELY CASUAL DRUG USE, use of the n-word in the context of a song, suicidal ideation 

LINKS: 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1FtuMHBCqf7jPSdtVzwYmt?si=c7x1jEdIQzyKp2-RcLeFJw 

YouTube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WDJTYh8egzW4rhJOJdcW-IU 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73198159/breakdown-chapter-9-wild 

Page Break

1-800-273-8255 

Koinotita was fast approaching, one of the most popular Fae holidays. The celebration fell on the anniversary of the day Shannara had united the Fae bloodlines, and served as the breaking of a fast that honored those killed in the Purge. The day would be decadent and lavish, as Fae citizens and royalty alike celebrated the shared burden of community. 

Rosalie had never seen a person as stressed as Lizzie was. “The produce goes over there. No; not there, there. Where’s the silver ribbon? The Akira will be arriving soon. I can’t read that right now, put it in my office.” 

Esme was moving at vampire speed, flitting around the kitchen to prepare the raw meat that would be used to welcome the Akira to Camp; apparently the strange sect of Fae who ran the Temple consumed nothing but raw flesh. 

Things had been melancholy in the attic the last few days, Bella and Edward’s moroseness spreading to infect the rest of the family. In response, the Cullens had scattered around Castle HQ, spending more time involving themselves in the day-to-day lives of Fae citizens. Bella tended to sleep in her office now, and Edward could hardly be pulled from the Library to eat, where he studied Fae rituals and relationships with a feverish intensity. Alice was the same way about the small, open building where the Fae Seers watched. Jasper was about to lose his mind at the emotions rolling off Bella and Edward every time they were in the same room. 

Rosalie and Emmett agreed they were both idiots. Emmett was wasting his days at the training grounds, watching the soldiers and begging to wrestle. Rosalie mostly helped Esme and Lizzie, though she watched the children’s small dramas unfold in the kitchens with undisguised glee. 

As Koinotita drew closer and closer, the atmosphere around the Castle changed significantly; becoming wilder and more expectant as every Fae and vampire looked forward to the much-anticipated dance that would consume the Arena. 

The ritual welcoming of the Akira went without a hitch, the Cullens awed at the gold costumes and black body-paint that separated the Temple Fae from normal citizens, and the unusual and lyrical way the fierce warriors spoke. When Isabella, clothed in her typical golden dress, had clasped arms with the tribal leader of the Akira, thunder had rumbled from an empty sky like a battle-cry. 

The everyday citizens of Camp tended to avoid the Akira, glancing at them out of the corner of their eyes and whispering softly when they passed, heads bowed respectfully. Bella, on the other hand, greeted them like old friends and seemed completely comfortable around them; though Jasper noticed she sneakily steered them in the opposite direction from any of the Cullens. 

On the morning of the dance, Jasper had just about had enough of the gloom and tension in his home, and he pulled Bella aside to talk about the emotions emanating from Bella’s aura. His trust in her was shaky, and might always be, but Jasper had grown to respect Bella greatly and was surprised by the genuine concern he felt over Bella’s emotional state. 

He didn’t quite know how to begin the conversation he needed to have with his sister and was relieved when Bella began for him. “Look, Jasper. I appreciate the cuddly-talk, really, but I’m doing fine. Just stressed out about everything. It happens. Keep my emotions to yourself please. They really aren’t worth sharing.” Jasper eyed her critically. Bella was sneaky, but she sucked at out-and-out lies. 

“Do you think I’ve never been where you are? Bella, I fought in two wars. I know what it is to want to die.” 

“It’s not a competition. And I need to die, not want to. There’s a difference.” 

“There is, and I know it. Talk to me, maybe I can help.” 

“Yes; because you are always so helpful, and we’re so close.” Sarcastic bitterness covered Bella’s reply, but Jasper would not be pulled from his mission by the hurtful words. 

“You want to. I’m not going to let go of this Bella, so quit trying to piss me off. There are always things worth living for, and I care about you. Alice, my family, they care about you. If you died, you would be missed.” 

“When I die, I will be forgotten. Like everyone else who passes to the other side.” 

“Just don’t forget there is always hope, Bella. It’s a hard emotion to kill.” 

“Easy for you to say. You’ve got Alice. And hope is hard to kill, but not impossible. I’m sure I can manage it.” 

Jasper watched his human sister, more like him than he had realized, walk out of the attic angrily. By the time she reached the door all of her emotions were muted, the Fae-Queen once more. “Thank you for trying, Jasper.” She bounced down the narrow steps and Jasper counted the sound of her footfalls as she walked away from him. One, one-two, one. 

It's the very first breath   
When your head's been drowning underwater   
And it's the lightness in the air   
When you're there   
Chest to chest with a lover   
It's holding on, though the road's long   
And seeing light in the darkest things   
And when you stare at your reflection   
Finally knowing who it is   
I know that you'll thank God you did 

Pain don't hurt the same, I know   
The lane I travel feels alone   
But I'm moving 'til my legs give out   
And I see my tears melt in the snow   
But I don't wanna cry   
I don't wanna cry anymore   
I wanna feel alive   
I don't even wanna die anymore   
Oh I don't wanna   
I don't wanna   
I don't even wanna die anymore 

Page Break

In My Blood 

The arena was packed for the holiday, each balcony overflowing with excited Fae who awaited the entrance of their Queen, shooting hopeful glances at the main platform floating below them. As the sun set over the huge entrance of the cave, with the last of the fading light leaving the night sky, Bella blinked into view in the center of the platform, to raucous cheers. 

From the VIP balcony closest to the platform, Jasper took in Isabella’s posture. She was defeated, tired and weak. Her shoulders were slumped, her hands hanging limp at her side. She did not wear her golden dress, but instead was clothed in all-white, black paint emphasizing her eyes and blood spattered along the hem of her long-sleeved, simple cotton gown. She looked up to the ceiling above them and extended a hand towards it. The stained glass parted, melting down the middle and dissolving away to reveal a night sky studded with stars, fluffy grey clouds rolling in to cover the moon. 

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in   
Sometimes I feel like giving up   
But I just can't   
It isn't in my blood 

Bright, clear echoes rang around her, alone on the center platform with every eye watching her. Her despair flooded the space around them, and Jasper remembered every instance where he had wanted nothing more than the end of his journey in this world. 

Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing   
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something   
I could take to ease my mind slowly   
Just have a drink and you'll feel better   
Just take her home and you'll feel better   
Keep telling me that it gets better   
Does it ever? 

She turned to Jasper from the stage; her eyes were wide and golden pools of light. 

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in   
Sometimes I feel like giving up   
No medicine is strong enough   
Someone help me   
I'm crawling in my skin   
Sometimes I feel like giving up   
But I just can't   
It isn't in my blood 

She met the eyes of each member of his family but Edward, then she turned her eyes to the Fae, searching for any help in the quiet crowd. 

It isn't in my blood 

I'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious   
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this   
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh   
Is there somebody who could 

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in   
Sometimes I feel like giving up   
No medicine is strong enough   
Someone help me   
I'm crawling in my skin   
Sometimes I feel like giving up   
But I just can't   
It isn't in my blood 

It isn't in my blood 

She faced Marcos and Kaedra now, her royal advisors’ faces echoing her struggle with compassion. 

I need somebody now   
I need somebody now   
Someone to help me out   
I need somebody now 

Help me, it's like the walls are caving in   
Sometimes I feel like giving up   
But I just can't   
It isn't in my blood 

It isn't in my blood   
It isn't in my blood   
I need somebody now   
It isn't in my blood   
I need somebody now   
It isn't in my blood 

When the song ended, complete silence fell in the space. Bella bowed her head, laying her burden before her people with peace in her eyes. 

Page Break

Backin’ It Up 

Marcos’ groan of surrender broke the tense quiet. As the strange noise echoed across the cavern, Bella’s outfit shimmered and changed, becoming the black silk dress she had worn when they had first entered Marcos’ club and Havana. She met the rough commander’s gaze, her eyes once more brown as she shot him a seductive, naughty look out of the corner of her eye, and the beat dropped. Marcos’s tough voice rang through the Arena before it hit the Cullens’ ears. The crowd went insane. 

Ahhh   
Isa!   
Turn around, fuck it all the way up   
Bust it down, turn around, fuck it all the way up   
Bust it down, turn around, fuck it—look 

Let's get it straight, girl, you don't need a nigga for nothin'   
Lookin' better every day, you got that Benjamin Button   
Claimin' he don't got a girl, you know niggas be frontin'   
You don't need no bitch comin' up to you as a woman (ayy)   
And you a boss, so you hate when niggas waste time (ayy)   
You too pretty to be paused on the FaceTime (ayy)   
Damn, I'm just statin' the facts   
You hate that like you hate when niggas tell you, "relax"   
(What the fuck you mean, "relax"?) 

Marcos swaggered to Bella in the center of the arena, and as he approached Bella seemed to shiver before their eyes, her eyes blooming in a glittery flame-gold tinted with vivid blue. Her gait changed, becoming aggressively sexual as she backed away from Marcos and the two began to circle in a relaxed parody of the battle-dance. 

You want somethin' more than just physical (word)   
It's been a while since you met someone original (word)   
You spend your time drinkin' wine in your livin' room   
All that good pussy, can't find the one to give it to (what?) 

The crowd continued to cheer loudly, dancing with abandon, and Jasper spied pockets of liquor begin to break out, the scent of marijuana floating on the wind. The rest of his family was shocked at the sudden hedonism, but from the emotions Jasper was feeling he could tell things were just beginning. Marcos motioned to their stiff forms, and Edward looked livid. 

Issa, issa shame (issa shame)   
You see me, see the squad, issa gang (issa gang) 

Marcos was facing Edward full on now, raising his hand in an aggressive motion and taunting him. Bella just smiled, circling closer to where Marcos danced. 

You see him, issa bum, issa lame (issa lame)   
But issa difference 'tween me and what's-his-name (ayy)   
I swear to God, where the mace (ayy)   
I'ma drink this Henny to the face (ayy)   
Fuck a condom, I'ma bring Saran Wrap   
I can't let no good pussy go to waste (ayy) 

Marcos suddenly reached out, snatching Bella, closer now, in a tango hold and spinning her towards him where she crashed into his torso. 

Back, back-backin' it up   
I'm the king of talkin' shit, then backin' it up (ayy)   
Back, back-backin' it up   
Throw that shit over here, girl, that's what it's for (what you say?) 

Bella released the wild man, turning her back to him and walking away, but Marcos just made his circle wider, brushing his wide hand across the back of Bella’s shoulders. 

You know how to go and get a bag, don't you? (ayy)   
You know how to make a bitch mad, don't you (ayy)   
Make your ex wanna get it back, that's a fact   
Say it louder for the bitches in the back (ayy) 

Bella turned to look over her shoulder at Marcos, quirking an eyebrow as he motioned to Kaedra and then himself with the last verse. She finally took up the song, now backing Marcos across the platform without touching him as the circles changed direction, perfectly in sync. 

I know to go and get a bag, don't I (don't I)   
I know how to get a bitch mad, don't I (yeah) 

She was moving from a spin to curl against Marcos, her head against his neck as she tucked herself to him, back-to-front. As she motioned to Edward, Jasper noticed something above the wide scar that housed Bella’s sword. Emmett’s shock hit him a moment later than his own. 

Make my ex wanna get it back, that's a fact   
Say it louder for the bitches in the back (ayy)   
Back, back-backin' it up   
I'm the queen of talkin' shit, then I'm backin' it up (yeah)   
Back, back-backin' it up   
Throw that money over here, nigga, that's what it's for (what you say?) 

Edward was spitting mad, not paying enough attention to the thoughts of his brothers. Bella continued her wild, sexual dance with Marcos as her sometimes-partner before she flashed alone into the crowd and danced with citizens. Stronger drugs were beginning to appear in places, and bottles littered the floor as a thousand screaming Fae partied with no inhibitions. 

Look, said I was gettin' some head, get-gettin' some head   
Ran down on a bitch, she almost pissed on her leg   
Bitches think they fuckin' with me, must be sick in the head   
Why don't you chill with the beef and get some chicken instead? 

Bella was singing to Kaedra now, sharing the burden of her tumultuous relationship with her Regent with the community. 

Got the crown, shut it down, how they hype up in the 6   
If she dead, let her lay won't bring no life into this bitch   
Lookin' this good should be a sin, you should call me cinnamon   
Isa B, bad bitch, those is fuckin' synonyms 

Lights were strobing in the cavern now: making vampire skin glitter, and Fae eyes shine with the color of individual auras. The crowd picked up the verse, the Akira dancing along the edges of the central platform as citizens rushed the smaller stages, singing and dancing with no respect for social differences. 

We see who winnin' (see who winnin'), we see who got it (see who got it)   
You see I'm still in the bank makin' deposits (cash)   
You see who switched up sides and who was solid (who was solid)   
You see who stuck to the code and who forgot it   
Talk about it, bitch 

Bella turned back to Marcos, who hyped the crowd as he addressed her, throwing his hat into the writhing mass of bodies and beginning to shed his vest and boots. 

You know how to go and get a bag, don't you? (ayy)   
You know how to make a bitch mad, don't you (ayy)   
Make your ex wanna get it back, that's a fact   
Say it louder for the bitches in the back (ayy) 

Bella’s eyes were the brightest in the room. She snapped her fingers; stewards and servants began to bring out extravagantly expensive liquors and wines, platters filled with all manner of illicit substances. 

I know to go and get a bag, don't I (don't I)   
I know how to get a bitch mad, don't I (yeah)   
Make my ex wanna get it back, that's a fact   
Say it louder for the bitches in the back (ayy)   
Back, back-backin' it up   
I'm the king of talkin' shit, then backin' it up (ayy)   
Back, back-backin' it up   
Throw that shit over here, girl, that's what it's for (what you say?) 

Carlisle was watching Josephat pluck a bag of cocaine from a young teenager’s hand, the healer shaking his head as he steered the boy towards the section of the arena where smoke billowed sweetly and advising him to “Start slow.”; His father was floored. Jasper however, had seen what no-one else had noticed, and suddenly the hedonism didn’t surprise him much. 

Bella’s elbows were covered in track-marks. 

Page Break

Bottoms Up/Starships 

Yeah   
Oh oh oh oh (This mister steal your girl)   
Oh oh oh oh (This mister steal your girl)   
Oh oh oh (Aye girl, aye girl, aye girl, aye girl)   
Oh oh oh (Aye girl, aye girl, aye girl, aye girl, let go) 

Marcos flashed in front of Edward, perched like a bird on the thin railing of the balcony and leaning in at the waist to tower over his furious brother. When Edward hissed, he took the long jump down to the stages below, rolling when he hit the floor and winking back up at the Cullens. 

Bottoms up, bottoms up (up)   
Aye, what's in ya cup   
Got a couple bottles but a couple ain't enough   
Bottoms up, bottoms up (up)   
Throw ya hands up   
Tell security we 'bout to tear this club up   
Bottoms up, bottoms up (up)   
Pocket full of green 

He immediately went to Bella’s side, bowing with a flourish and kissing her hand. 

Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans   
Bottoms up, bottoms up (up)   
Throw yo hands up   
Bottoms up (up), bottoms up (up)   
Bottoms up (up), up (up) up bottoms 

Marcos turned to the crowd, throwing out his hands in the universal sign for exuberant welcome as more and more Fae grabbed bottles of liquor; even the stewards who brought out the drinks were starting to look tipsy. 

Callin' all the girls (girls)   
Do you hear me?   
All around the world (world)   
City to city (city) 

Cheers to the girls, throw deuce to the guys   
Now I got a chicken and a goose in the ride   
Gettin' loose in the ride   
Hatin' ass nigga, you can move to the, move to the, move to the side 

Edward had dared to approach Bella on the dancefloor, but Marcos cut him off before he could reach her, shooing him away and approaching the Cullens. 

My visions blurred (com'ere)   
My words slur (com'ere)   
It's jam packed (yea)   
A million girls (aye) 

He addressed the group hastily. “Control yourselves. I don’t care what you think of my lifestyle, but I won’t have you upsetting Isa tonight. I will straight up kill you, and deal with the consequences later.” He spun as he walked away from them, a man on the stage once more. 

And I ain't trynna leave though   
We drunk so let me be yo alcohol hero 

Callin' all the girls (girls)   
Do you hear me? (Girl)   
All around the world (world)   
City to city (yeah) 

Bella walked over to Marcos, clutching at him with her balance slightly impaired. She grabbed the bottle out of his hand and took a large gulp before she spoke rapid-fire. 

Can I get that Tron, can I get that Remmy   
Can I get that Coke, can I get that Henny   
Can I get that margarita on the rock, rock, rock   
Can I get salt all around that rim, rim, rim, rim   
Trey, I was like yo Trey?   
Do you think you can buy me a bottle of Roseé?   
Okay let's get it now   
I'm wit' a bad bitch, he's wit' his friends   
I don't say I hi, I say keys to the Benz   
Keys to the Benz, keys to the Benz   
Mu'fuckin' rite yea V to the 10   
If a bitch try to get cute I'm a stomp her   
Throw alotta money at her then yell fuck her   
Fuck her, fuck her, then yell fuck her   
Then I'm go and get my Louisville slugger   
Excuse me I'm sorry, I'm really such a lady 

She suddenly met Edward’s eyes, and her body lit up like a firecracker. 

Yellin' all around the world   
Do you hear me? Do you like my body? Addy?   
Rest in peace to Adeline Smith   
Yes my dear you’re so explosive   
Say hi to Mary, Mary and Joseph   
Now bottoms up and double my dosage 

Another song started with no pause, Bella taking over the melody from Marcos with poise. 

Uh, let's go to the beach, each   
Let's go get away   
They say, what they gonna say?   
Have a drink, clink, found the bud light   
Bad bitches like me is hard to come by   
The patron own, let's go get it on   
The zone own, yes I'm in the zone   
Is it two, three? Leave a good tip 

A Fae man approached Bella with a joint between his lips, Bella plucked it from his hold and took a long puff before returning it, blowing the smoke in Edward’s face. 

I'mma blow off my lover and don't give two shits, I'm on the floor, floor 

I love to dance   
So give me more, more, 'til I can't stand   
Get on the floor, floor   
Like it's your last chance   
If you want more, more   
Then here I am 

She approached a group of Fae who were snorting white powder, and grinning, they welcomed her easily into their circle, handing her a pen cap full of cocaine. 

Starships were meant to fly   
Hands up and touch the sky   
Can't stop 'cause we're so high   
Let's do this one more time 

Starships were meant to fly   
Hands up and touch the sky   
Let's do this one last time   
Hands up (We're higher than a motherfucker) 

The party grew ever more decadent, Fae spinning out of control as the lights strobed, jumping up as one organism and leaping from platform to platform in amazing acrobatic displays. Edward’s gasp could be heard even over the thumping music as Bella executed a particularly long jump to dance with Marcos again, Kaedra joining their small group quickly after. 

Bump in my hoopty-hoopty-hoop I own that   
And I ain't paying my rent this month I owe that   
But fuck who you want, and fuck who you like   
Dance all ya life there's no end in sight   
Twinkle, twinkle little star 

Bella danced just as sexually with Kaedra, the two girls grinding against each other obscenely and singing together to the crowd, which now included Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper dancing to the beat. Carlisle and Esme watched the spectacle, sipping on goblets of sweet dragons blood. 

Get on the floor, floor   
Like it's your last chance   
If you want more, more   
Then here I am 

Bella stopped in the middle of the dancefloor suddenly, her voice ringing as the music dropped off in response to her stillness as her eyes went white. 

Starships were meant to fly   
Hands up and touch the sky   
Can't stop cause we're so high   
Let's do this one more time 

Suddenly, Bella moved again, and all of the Fae with her. It was like someone had tapped “pause” and then “play” 

Starships were meant to fly   
Hands up and touch the sky   
Let's do this one more time   
Hands up (We're higher than a motherfucker) 

The Fae continued to dance, not even noticing when Bella, Kaedra, and Marcos flashed out of the arena. But Carlisle noticed, and Edward, ever-watching, did too. 

Page Break

The Edge of Glory 

Edward was faster than Carlisle, but Carlisle had a better nose, so Edward kept pace with his father as they searched for the trio of powerful Fae who ran Camp, leaving the arena and the rest of their family behind them. 

“Well, Koinotita should provide enough distraction, I don’t think we’ll be seen.” Carlisle caught the echo of Marcos’s voice on the wind, and turned immediately to run to the Council chamber, Edward trailing behind. Three thrones cast long shadows into the unlit marble hall, with the Arena pulsing below the imposing balcony of the Council on the second floor of HQ. 

When Carlisle and Edward burst through the doors to the room, they weren’t exactly sneaky; the trio looked up at them with shock and dismay on their faces. 

“Damnit Marcos, I told you to shut the fuck up.” Kaedra snarled, still in her wild costume from the dance. Bella was more subdued, simply meeting Edward’s eyes resignedly and turning to her commander. “Will the portal guard allow two more?” 

Marcos’ face turned incredulous, but he answered quickly. “Yeah, but the club won’t. If you’re going to insist on bringing the bloodsuckers, we’ll have to enter the badlands elsewhere.” 

“I know a guy.” 

Kaedra and Marcos’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at Bella’s last comment, but Bella ignored them; turning to the two Cullens, father and son. “You don’t have to come. In fact, I really kind of don’t want you to. There are some things I had hoped to keep private. But I won’t disallow you, as long as you don’t interfere with the job.” 

“You’re going on a mission? Bella, you’ve been drinking.” Carlisle’s voice showed his concern, but Bella just grinned wolfishly at him. 

“Nah, this is nothing. I once robbed the Louvre so drunk I couldn’t see. Alex would never let me live it down if I got caught because of a slight buzz.” 

“Not that you’d live long enough for the lecture.” Marcos cut in. 

“Well, that too. But you know we can’t let this opportunity pass us by. The sky’s blessing has been neglected too long. It cries to be saved from the dark.” 

“A blessing?” Edward felt his face go pale, remembering the fire’s blessing and all the grief it had caused. Oh god, what was Bella getting herself into? 

“Don’t even start, Edward. Either come along or don’t; but keep your judgement and overprotectiveness to yourself.” Bella met Edward’s eyes with challenge in her own. 

“I’m coming.” Edward grit out the words, afraid if he opened his mouth completely, he would start screaming. 

Bella snapped a nod. “Carlisle?” 

“Well, I’m hardly going to allow you to go into enemy territory without some form of medical assistance. I am still poorly prepared, but I’ll help anyway I can.” 

“That’s the spirit.” Kaedra muttered, as Bella nodded and began the cast to shift the group back to the mortal world. To where, she didn’t bother to explain. Edward grit his teeth and followed her into the dark anyway, unsure of where he was going, but certain that Bella would be there.


	11. Miami

ARGH. 

YouTube deleted my favorite pole-dancing video! GAH! WHY? YouTube, why are you so cruel? It was to Beth Hart’s Caught out in the Rain and it was perfect for this story! GRRRRRRRRRR............. 

The old link was https://youtu.be/1MvP4VoqPOo 

The owner of the video made it private! It inspired this whole damn chapter! 

It’s Ekaterina Veresk ‘s performance in the 2019 Exotic Revolution competition. If you find it, it is soooo worth watching. And send it to me, I will love you forever. 

UPDATE! I FOUND IT AGAIN! 

https://www.instagram.com/tv/B47XTCYhlU_/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet 

Enjoy. 

WARNINGS: Sexuality, creepy lecherous dudes, physical abuse and its aftermath. References to past drug-use. 

READ AND REVIEW! I am starting to get a bit discouraged with the lack of feedback. Every time I get an email telling someone has favorited/followed/reviewed my work, it makes it all worthwhile. Even if you hate it, or simply catch a typo, let me know! I want to create something people enjoy. 

ANYWAY 

Dedicated to all the people who don’t have to care, but do. Ya’ll are the best. 

This chapter took a while. Lots of the sensation of “Okay, I want to get here, but how do I get there?” I hope I accurately portrayed the nature of a mutually abusive relationship. Lots of people who experience the amount of trauma Bella did tend to seek out more pain, ‘cause it’s where they’re most comfortable. It’s one of the saddest things I can imagine. 

LINKS: 

Deviantart: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73205836/breakdown-chapter-10-miami 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WASYFlo4NSCK16XTwb9zIjS 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/72NgVtOcOO3rXmwJa7pdiO?si=aKfQWZQmRsCYy87XlSFqFA 

Page Break

Work 

Edward blinked at the sudden smell of sea air. The sound of traffic rang strangely in his ears after so much time away from the constant noise humans made. They were in the nightlife section of a big city, and their appearances had changed drastically. 

Carlisle was in a blue button down, scarf, and khakis, with a double-breasted black jacket over the ensemble. His father’s hair was slicked back in the way it had been in Forks, and he looked every inch the composed doctor he was. 

Marcos, Kaedra, and Bella were in rough nightclub style. 

Marcos had sprouted a dark beard and wore a black denim jacket; a thick steel chain swung from the front of his dark jeans to the back pocket. He wore heavy steel rings on each of his wide hands. Kaedra was in a form-fitting skirt in a neutral-blue, her simple navy button-down unfastened to almost her navel, and Bella—Oh. Wow. 

Bella was in a thin, one-sleeved, black polyester top that barely covered anything, outlining her form with stretchy fabric that clung to her as she moved. Her opposite arm was covered by a long fingerless black glove that reached past her elbow, and she wore the shortest whitewashed denim shorts Edward had ever seen, with a high cut that emphasized the length of her legs and shape of her hips. On her feet were tight brown stiletto boots that clung to her calves and extended above the knee. They made her a good five inches taller. The insanely high boots made Bella stumble as the group materialized, and Edward caught her before she could fall, relishing the now-rare chance to feel her body against his. 

As Bella’s body impacted with his, he noticed his own outfit. He was dressed in a modern and sleekly tailored black suit, with the collar turned up and his white-button down shirt open at least four buttons. Around his neck was a bright red tie, but it was undone and hanging loose down his torso. The cut of the fabric emphasized his narrow musculature, making him seem taller and slimmer than he was, while still preserving the masculinity of his form. So, this is how Bella would dress him, given the choice. He might have to let her materialize his suits from now on. 

Bella patted his chest twice; a teasing, sexy smile was quirking her lips, and Edward realized he had been holding her to him entirely too long. His father’s eyes were crinkling at the corners, and Marcos was guffawing loudly. 

“Damn, Isa. I think he just came.” 

“Shut up Marcos. You’re forgetting he could rip your spine out of your throat before you could react. Again.” 

“So proprietary.” Kaedra snarked, already striding towards the entrance of a basement club, aptly named “Club Cumming” in red neon. 

“Where are we?” Carlisle asked as they followed Kaedra across the street. 

“In trouble.” muttered Marcos, eying the entrance to the bar. 

“Welcome back to the mortal world. We’re in Miami, my friends. The second circle of hell awaits you.” Bella threw open the door to Club Cumming, and Edward followed her inside. 

Page Break

Who’s Your Daddy? 

The inside of the club was narrow and long; cramped full of gentlemen, if Edward could call them that. When the men saw Kaedra and Bella, Edward could practically see the drool start pooling on the grimy floor; he heard the lustful, violent thoughts the mortal men threw at them. Marcos put his arm around Kaedra’s shoulders protectively and quirked his head at Carlisle in a “this way” motion. Bella let go of Edward’s hand, where her own had entwined with his sweetly as they were crossing the street, to comfort him from his embarrassment. 

“Come on.” The words reminded Edward that they were on a mission, and he subtly put his hand at the small of Bella’s back in a protective, possessive gesture. Before he had seen the Bella that existed in Havana, it would have been all he could manage not to drag Bella from this place by the ear; but now, he was strangely comfortable with her here. It was an epiphany sparking in his brain. Bella could care for herself. She was an adult, had been before he ever knew her. She allowed him to protect her, not because she needed it, but because he wanted to. He had always trusted Bella with himself, to keep his heart safe and treat it gently, but now, he realized he could trust her with herself too. 

Before he could reveal his sudden wisdom to his love, they were approached by the bartender where they lounged next to the wall of liquor: Bella procuring a bright-green drink without the bartender so much as glancing at her young face twice. The bar was velvet red, a 1920’s speak-easy style: with a small stage, and a single spotlight focused on the stripper pole in the center; dark stairs led up to the storage area behind the bar which was lofted above the patron’s heads. 

After a few moments, Edward leaned down slightly; making his mouth level with Bella’s now-taller form and brushing his lips against the outer shell of her ear; he was reveling in his new-found freedom to treat Bella as an equal, not something made of glass. Her responsive shiver made him half-hard, and he was glad the pants were so well tailored as to hide it. 

“So, what’s the plan?” 

Bella quirked her lips at him, but turned to wrap her arms around his waist and under his suitcoat, sweeping a hand up across his shoulders. “Patience, lover. We’re waiting for someone.” She bowed her back slightly, bracing her hips against his thighs to lean back and pick up her drink without distancing her body from his own. Edward felt his mouth go dry. 

Bella continued to distract him from the filthy thoughts around him, satisfying and immediate hatred springing up in the lecherous patrons as Bella made it known she was here with him. She rolled her hips in slight movements, clutching at his shoulder with a hint of nails as she sipped at the green liquid in the chipped glass; her cupid’s bow lips contrasted redly with the drink and shined with the sticky liquid when she spoke. 

“This is gonna suck for you, Edward. And probably me too. You’re the jealous type, and I love that about you; but damn this is gonna suck. Just try to remember I’m a big girl who can take care of myself and have been for a long time. I need you to fade into the background for just a minute. If it gets to be too much, let me know and I’ll back off. But remember, there is no danger here. I’m not in trouble, so don’t play the hero, okay?” 

“Okay.” Her words echoed his epiphany anyway, and Edward would have brought the moon down from the sky for her, as long as she kept up her delicious teasing. He could restrain his instincts. Hopefully. 

A stylish, posh Asian man in a white suit clunked down the stairs behind the bar, carrying a large box filled with glass bottles. Bella’s back was turned to him, but he paused upon seeing her there anyway, eyes flashing recognition for just a moment. Edward saw Marcos stiffen across the bar. Then the man shook his head, dismissive of his own assumption; and called to the bartender. “Lou, here’s that whiskey you needed.” 

Bella extricated herself from where she clung to Edward, finishing her drink in one gulp and calling to Lou. “I’ll take a shot of that.” 

When the Asian man heard Bella’s voice, he looked up from where he was unpacking the liquor on to the shelf in a sudden movement, his eyes gleaming with affection and happiness. He told Lou, who was tending to some drunkards at the end of the bar, “I’ll take care of it, no worries.” 

He poured a generous helping of top-shelf whiskey from one of the bottles, and before he approached Bella to give her the ordered beverage, he flipped on the jukebox and shot Marcos a cruel smile. 

Yeah, you come knockin' on my door baby   
Tell me what you got on your mind   
I guess those college boys all went home for the summertime 

If Edward had not been a vampire who had spent more than a month in the pocket world of the Fae, he would've assumed the music came from the ancient jukebox that flickered to life in the corner, the sudden light change simple technology. But it wasn’t. 

The man approached Bella, laughing and embracing her in a fatherly way. “On the house, dear one. It’s good to see you, I was concerned when you disappeared without a trace. Well, and it was terrible for business. I don’t suppose I could tempt you?” 

Yeah you're lookin' right, lookin' good,   
Lookin' like a woman should   
So why is it so hard to find 

“Sorry Chen, I’m here on business today. But I have a deal to discuss with you. I think it will be worth your while. Meet Edward, my boyfriend.” 

When Edward clasped Chen’s outstretched hand, the man’s eyebrows shot up at his coldness. “Well, well, well. The plot thickens.” Chen met Edward’s eyes, challenging. 

A place to lay your pretty little   
Head down once in a while   
You run on a little tough luck baby   
Don't you sweat it   
Everything is waiting inside for you   
You know I got it, come and get it 

Chen wound his arm around Bella’s waist and patted her casually on the ass, unconcerned with Edward’s reaction as they walked to the corner booth where Marcos, Kaedra, and Carlisle waited. “Ah, and the blonde man makes two. What is that trash doing in my bar, Isa?” Chen sneered at Marcos, who clenched a fist in answer. “Though it is always lovely to see you as well, Katy-kat.” Kaedra nodded to Chen warmly, and Chen slid into the booth between Bella and Kaedra, still unconcerned as his exits were cut off. “So, I’m guessing this business isn’t about a dancing job.” Carlisle’s eyebrows shot to his hairline, and Edward eyed the pole on the stage of the run-down club with sudden hatred. 

Who's your daddy, who's your baby?   
Who's your buddy, who's your friend? 

And who's the one guy that you come runnin' to   
When your love life starts tumblin'?   
I got the money if you got the honey   
Let's cut a deal let's make a plan 

“We need access, Chen.” Marcos snarled, his knuckles turning white with the pressure of his clenched fist. “You keep your grimy hands off them.” 

Who's your daddy, who's your baby?   
Who's your buddy, who's your man? 

Chen was as unconcerned with Marcos’ unexplained anger as he had been with Edward’s proclaimed “boyfriend” status, and turned to Bella with a sneaky shadow rising in his eyes. “ I do hope you’ve been controlling your tempers. You aren’t all covered in bruises, are you? They never bothered me much, but they do so detract from your beauty onstage. Now, let's discuss why I would give you access to the only unmonitored portal into the badlands.” 

Before a righteous and angry Marcos could even make it to his feet completely, Chen snapped his fingers. Marcos stiffened and fell unwillingly back into the booth. Suddenly, Edward and the others couldn’t move or speak. Bella, however, played with the stir stick in her drink before sighing and turning to Chen. “Really, daddy? Unnecessary. And I’d give you a favor. One “I owe you one” to cash in with no restrictions. I think you are aware of how valuable that could be to you, especially considering my status and you’re..shall we say..loose compliance with magical law. A back pocket get-out-of-jail-free card could save you a world of pain, if ever this whole operation came crashing down on you.” Edward saw Carlisle’s eyes widen. He was unsure if it was due to the sudden inability to move, or the strange endearment Bella had used. 

You might've run on a little tough luck baby   
Don't you sweat it   
Everything is waiting inside for you   
You know I got it   
So come and get it 

“Oh, baby.” Chen shook his head wryly, “I have no interest in your political status, as it may be. I have more than enough allies on that front. But I will make you a counteroffer. Let me cash in that favor, now. Tonight. There is a gentleman coming here this evening to strike a particularly interesting deal, and I could use your charms. I’ll give you permanent access, in exchange for your help convincing him to join my cause. One dance, Isabella. I’ll give you access, but I want a dance.” 

Who's your daddy, who's your baby?   
Who's your buddy, yeah who's your friend? 

And who's the one guy that you come runnin' to   
Yeah when your love life starts tumblin'?   
I got the money if you got the honey   
Let's cut a deal let's make a plan 

Bella hesitated, shifting her gaze from Chen to Edward’s frozen form for just a moment nervously. Then she shifted her eyes to Marcos, delivering some serious unknown message with her gaze. Edward suspected telepathy. “Dammit. You always did drive a hard bargain, Chen. Marcos could take pointers.” 

“I’ve been at it considerably longer than that street-rat.” Chen sneered. “And it is a fair offer, Isa. Generous, even. Considering the company you keep. “ 

Bela sighed, draining her drink, and Kaedra’s face twisted in panic as she fought to speak but couldn’t. 

“You have a deal.” 

Who's your daddy, who's your baby?   
Who's your buddy, who's your friend? 

Who's your daddy, who's your baby?   
Who's your buddy, who's your man? 

Chen and Bella shook hands, and Edward got a bad feeling. 

Page Break

Caught out in the Rain 

“This is a terrible plan.” Kaedra complained, once Bella had followed Chen backstage to prepare for her requested performance. “If this “friend” of Chen’s is who I think he is, at least we won’t have to enter the badlands tonight. But it might not be. It could be Tomas for all we know.” 

“Well, I didn’t see you speaking up before they shook on it.” Marcos snarked, draining his drink and raising his hand for another. “Dammit, I didn’t even know she kept in contact with Chen, after I started seeing her. Isa is too goddamn sneaky for her own good. -- Just leave the bottle.” Marcos waved Lou away from their table and lit a cigarette from the box he pulled from a pocket on his denim jacket, throwing the half-full box onto the table and taking a long drag with his leg jiggling. 

“I don’t understand.” Carlisle broke in to Kaedra and Marcos’ discussion. “What’s so bad about a dance? Bella dances in Havana all the time.” 

“Not like this. You didn’t see her, when she worked for that shithead. If Kaedra hadn’t kept an eye on her, she would’ve lost herself to her own spells years ago. “Charms”, my ass. Chen has always encouraged Bella closer to the edge than is sane. He abuses his hold on her.” 

“He doesn’t have a hold on her anymore, Marcos.” Kaedra rebuffed him. “She’s been off the Glow for a long minute now, and we’d know if she succumbed again.” 

“Glow?” Edward inquired. 

“Another nasty little trick of the Master’s. Tomas cooks it up for him. Think heroin, but about a million times worse. The rush is incredible, but withdrawal will suck you dry. Bella was really messed up on the shit when we lived here. “ 

Chen and Bella’s vague conversation at the bar took on new and sinister meaning. 

“Chen was her supplier, in exchange for her work as a dancer in this place. Kaedra finally convinced her to walk out before Chen could force her to do something she really didn’t want to. He’s the world’s biggest asshole and the most powerful drug kingpin in Miami.” 

“Bella was a drug addict?” Carlisle’s face was devastated. “Addiction doesn’t just quit in one day. How did Bella get off this drug?” 

“She didn’t.” Kaedra glared at Marcos, quelling his lie and speaking before he could. “Marcos was her supplier for a long time; but when Isabella took off, she had no place to get it. I have no idea how she got herself to quit. But when she brought you guys to Havana, she promised us she was clean. Not that we don’t still check on her. There’s no trace of the Glow in her system. She must’ve been clean for a while before she returned.” 

Edward’s voice was threatening and hard, and he had to chant his promise not to cause a scene in his head to keep from actually ripping Marcos’ spine out of his throat. “You’re a drug-dealer? Bella’s drug-dealer?” 

“It’s not like you're thinking. I don’t, didn’t, and never will peddle that zydrate-shit. It causes nothing but pain. But yeah, I don’t see a problem with helping people find a way to blow off steam for a minute, in exchange for a couple dollars. I only provided Bella with the Glow because she needed it. I don’t regret it, but I hope I never have to do it again. 

Oh shit. Kaedra, look who it is.” 

“Well, that certainly explains Chen’s desperation to get Bella to dance for him.” 

A stern and balding man was entering the club, sweating profusely as he dabbed at his high forehead with a handkerchief. 

“Oh Jesus, it’s like the return of all my nightmares. It is Erik. Well, at least we won’t need the portal. Lord, get me through this and I’ll never curse again, I swear.” Marcos raised three fingers in the boy scout salute, before downing his drink and pouring another portion of amber liquid into his glass. 

“Erik is Tomas’s new right-hand man since they discovered Demetri’s body. The Master will have given him the sky’s blessing to welcome him into the fold. Bella Saw him do so, that’s why we were going to find Erik. The sky’s blessing has been gone without a trace for decades. You know, If Chen convinces Erik he’s got Bella under his thumb again, Eric will give him all the Zydrate he could ever need. Better not let him see you, Marcos. Didn’t you sleep with his Chosen?” 

“That crazy bitch hit on ME. And I was high as a kite and pissed at Isa. It’s not my fault.” Marcos was beginning to slur his words, and Carlisle deftly removed his glass from his hand. 

“As enlightening and disturbing as this conversation is, I do believe Bella’s performance is beginning.” Carlisle muttered to the group, as Eric went to join Chen at the front of the audience. The lights turned down low, and all attention was fixed on the silver pole innocently gleaming on the stage. 

When Bella entered the small stage, Edward could almost believe it wasn’t going to be as bad for him as Bella had implied it would be. She met his eyes as she walked to the pole, still dressed in her form-fitting black top and fingerless gloves, though her form was disguised by the unfastened black trench coat she had draped over her shoulders. Her shorts had disappeared, leaving her in a high cut pair of black panties, and her brown boots had been replaced with an equally high set of glittery silver stilettos. She had a half-smoked cigarette in her hand, and Edward smelled the sweet smoke of tobacco and Bella fill his nostrils. Her eyes flicked to Marcos in a warning glance, before she took her position, leaning back against the pole and bringing her cigarette to her lips. When she spoke, she had eyes only for Edward, reassuring him and provoking him all at once. 

I'm under your spell   
Ain't nobody's business   
I'm already there 

She leaned forward slightly, and her face showed a dismissive attitude as she drew the crowd’s attention to her long legs and then straightened to flick away the butt of her cigarette. 

It ain't nobody's business 

Bella threw the trench coat off the stage and let down her low ponytail, shaking out her hair as the music started in earnest, and everything changed. Edward reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table with shaking hands. Tobacco had no effect on vampires, but he had to do something to shift his focus from the dance or he was going to lose his cool. 

Every time he walks out the door   
I wonder if he's ever coming back   
I can't help but love the taste of danger baby   
And the howl and the wind and the rough in his hands 

From the first sexual cant of her hips, Edward knew this dance would be the sweetest torture he would never forget. Had it been seconds, days, years? He didn’t know. As she spun in the air, dancing sinfully, Edward spared what little thought was left in his brain to thank God Jasper wasn’t in attendance. 

I got caught out in the rain   
If I die I don't care, I'm in love   
I'm in love, I'm in love with this man   
I got caught out, caught out   
Caught out in the rain 

Bella moved from the pole to the floor and back, and as she tossed her hair wildly, Edward forgot about the crowd. He forgot about Erik, and Chen, and Marcos growing more and more tense near him. The music tugged at his heartstrings, but there was no room for despair or compassion with his body’s reactions frying his brain. When Bella threw herself to the floor, as lost in the music and dance as he was, Edward would have gladly died for the chance to touch her lithe form. 

I heard him crying in his sleep last night   
No man wants to be told he been crying   
When he wakes up I tell him it's gonna be alright   
But I know that he knows that I'm just lying   
I heard he killed a man down in the street   
And it tore his soul apart   
Last night when he was making love to me   
There was a, another disaster in his heart 

Bella was truly lost to the hypnotizing beat now, projecting defeat and submission as she curled herself to the floor and shed her top, revealing even more flesh as a black lacy bra was revealed. She was relying on her long hair and dim light to cover her scars from view. Objectively, the dance was artistic, acrobatic and showed off Bella’s flexibility. But Edward was too caught up in her spell, mesmerized by long feminine fingers tapping hipbones, to have any hope of logical objectivity. It was simultaneously too much and not enough, never enough. Bella demanded his full attention and returned his rapidly heating gaze with a challenging one of her own as she twisted across the floor, begging for more heat from him. 

I got caught out in the rain   
If I die I don't care, I'm in love   
I'm in love, I'm in love with this man   
I got caught out, caught out   
Caught out in the rain   
In the rain. 

Edward was spellbound. The dance was dark, aggressive, heart-stopping. If he had been human, he would’ve been passed out on the floor; he couldn’t seem to remember to breathe. 

I got caught out in the rain   
If I die I don't care, I don't care   
I'm in love, I'm in love   
I got caught out, caught out   
Caught out in the rain   
In the rain. 

When Bella finally turned her heated gaze from him to monitor Erik’s reaction, her lips curled into a snarl and she twisted her long fingers into the strap of her panties, taunting the man with what he could never touch. 

His name   
Pain 

Ain't nobody's business   
Ain't nobody, nobody, nobody business 

I won't kiss and tell   
I got a spell 

As the song ended, Bella finally surrendered to desire, casting herself back against the floor, spent and passive. 

Chen was grinning, distinctly cat-like, and Erik was standing, an erection tenting the front of his jeans as he quickly exited the club, sparing only a single dirty glance for Marcos on his way out. All around Edward, men were panting and sweating with desire. 

Bella exited the stage, and Edward gladly took the moment to collect himself. He glanced at his companions, wondering what Carlisle and the others had thought of Bella’s sensual performance. His father just looked sad; his thoughts were spinning as he too, had an epiphany about Bella’s innocence. Kaedra looked mildly amused. But when his eyes rested on Marcos, Edward’s strange sated relaxation disappeared. Marcos Ipswitch was violently furious. 

Page Break

HUMBLE. 

Marcos shook with the blessing in his hand, where he had lifted it from Erik’s person. There were parts of him that were dead, that had been killed long ago. And now they were rising in him again. 

Chen had played his role well, believing the lies that Isa had fed him eagerly; not questioning their sudden interest in going to the Badlands. 

Of course, then he had revealed that Erik was coming here, negating the need for them to go to Tomas’ territory. The double-cross was too easy, with Bella hypnotizing everyone into stillness, spellbinding them with desire. Marcos had almost forgotten the vixen in Isabella’s soul; the harlot was gone in the Cullen’s pious presence. But he had never forgotten the effect she could have on him: 

Marcos knew he was a bad man when he saw Bella dance. And Bella knew she could turn him into a bad man, hence the warning look before she began. Even half-distracted by his mission, Marcos was incapable of drowning the incessant need he felt: to take, to possess that which Bella would not give him freely. Shame, rage, and greedy, grasping lust welled up in him. How dare she? 

It had been years since he had felt this way. She had toyed with him before, teased him to breaking so many times. This city. God, why did it have to be Miami? Edward was eyeing him warily, and the vampire doctor looked concerned as he took in Marcos’ fight with his past self. The vampires’ eyes were usually so focused on Isa that they were blind to everyone else, but right now the doctor saw entirely too much. It was enough to make Marcos lose the battle. 

He drained the rest of the bottle of scotch he had been gulping all night and shed his jacket. Kaedra anticipated him, crossing to his side with a muttered, “Oh no you don’t. This is so not the place for one of you and Bella’s little tiffs.” But Marcos’ rage had peaked now, and he stalked past Kay, forcibly freezing her as he headed backstage to the dressing room for performers with two vampires trailing confusedly behind him. 

When he slammed open the door with a bang, Bella jumped. She had been in the process of buttoning her shorts. He threw the sky’s blessing down at her feet and snarled at her. “There. It’s done. All yours, oh powerful one. Hope it was worth it, that you enjoyed your slutty little strip-tease for your boyfriend.” 

“Oh no. Seriously? What the fuck, Marcos. Is there something in the air of this city that turns you into a psycho? You were all onboard when the plan involved kicking some ass; but some old acquaintances make you uncomfortable, and you’re suddenly pissed off at me. What exactly should I have done differently here? Maybe I should've just let them keep it. I mean it’s not like we couldn’t handle an army of the unnaturally raised dead.” 

“The only ass I want to kick right now is yours, Isa. And the only reason you even care about the damned blessing is because you’re hoping it will bring back your dead girlfriend and your boy-toy.” 

Bella’s eyes flashed black and narrowed; her voice became soft and deadly. “Were I you, Marcos, I would shut the fuck up. I’m not a traumatized teen anymore and I won’t put up with your bullshit assumptions now any more than I did then.” 

(Hol' up lil' bitch) be humble   
(Hol' up, bitch) sit down   
(Hol' up, sit down, lil' bitch)   
(Sit down, lil' bitch, be humble)   
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, lil' bitch) bitch, sit down   
(Hol' up, bitch) be humble   
(Hol' up, bitch) sit down 

Marcos and Bella circled each other now, and Marcos could feel the monster in him rising. He needed to disengage before he did something he would regret. “Kiss my ass, Isa. You’re still nothing more than a run-down junkie slut.” 

Bella slapped him, and Marcos exploded. He grabbed the chair at the vanity before he could stop himself; and the impact of it on his hands as he hit Bella over the head with the chair felt amazing, as addictive as it had ever been. 

“Bring it, bitch.” 

“Oh, and big daddy Marcos comes out to play! Come on, be a man. Maybe you can pin me again, if you try hard enough.” Blood was streaming from Bella’s hairline as she matched him blow for blow, her temper rising in response to his own. They were wrecking the room, throwing each other into furniture as the rest of their group screamed at them to stop, to calm down, to back off. Marcos had to pause in his attack for a moment when Bella threw him into the vanity, shattering the mirror and smashing his face into the lightbulbs in the frame. His hand closed around a long shard of shattered glass as he rose again, and in a fluid motion he thrust it between Bella’s ribs, sneering. 

Suddenly Marcos was attacked from another direction and thrown across the room, Carlisle between him and his prey. Isabella was clutching at Edward, her face pale. “I’m okay. It missed my heart. Caught a lung on the way out though. Shit. I’m sorry Marcos. I know better than to let you goad me like that. Ouch. Okay, this really hurts. Carlisle, I think you may have to use those medical abilities. Where’s Jo when we need him?” 

“Bella.” Her lover’s voice was pale and broken, crying out like he was the one who had been stabbed. When Marcos quietly got to his feet, Edward punched him with all his vampiric strength, shattering his cheekbone and sending him crashing back into the floor. “You sonofabitch. What have you done? You called her your friend.” 

“Edward. Edward stop. He didn’t mean to, it's as much my fault as his. Marcos and I have had some ragers in the time we lived here. I know what it does to him to see me dance. I didn’t think. Stop, please.” Bella reached for Edward with the shaking, bloody hand that had been wrapped around her ribs and coughed wetly. Her lover immediately returned his attention to her. 

Carlisle was already lifting her shirt to examine the wound. In all of their raging fistfights, Bella had never actually been seriously harmed, but as Marcos laid eyes on the wound he had inflicted, he knew it was serious. Blood bubbled in the long gash as Bella breathed. 

“Carlilse, what can I do?” The words rushed out of Edward’s mouth, frantic with justified worry. 

“I don’t think you or I can do anything, Edward. This wound requires magickal healing, immediately. Or Bella will die. The fluid is already filling her lung.” 

“I can--” Marcos shuddered. Isa was dying, because of him; and he locked his old self away behind steel bars. “I can help with that. My affinities are in fire and water. I can heal her, but I’ll need a conduit. Someone with medical training who can direct the flow of magick. Jesus, I’m so sorry Isa. Goddammit, I thought I was past this. Please.” She was fading from consciousness quickly, and Marcos turned to Edward, imploring him. “You have to let me help her. I didn’t mean to. I wouldn’t. She’s never been seriously hurt before.” 

“Oh, you mean the other times you beat her.” Edward cried. 

“We both have tempers. Please. I need your father’s help. He has the knowledge, I have the magick. Let me fix this.” Marcos begged. 

“Fix this. And so help me, if you ever touch her again, I will drain you dry.” 

Marcos grabbed hold of Carlisle’s wrist, placing his other hand over Bella’s wound before her lover could change his mind. “This is gonna be weird, especially since you’ve never done it before; and Isa’s physiology is weird anyway. Just try to think of the process you would use to heal Bella if you were doing it physically. Close your eyes so you can see what I see.” Carlisle nodded at him, and Marcos focused on the wound he had created. 

She’d be okay. She had to be. 

Page Break

Love the Way you Lie 

If someone had asked Carlisle what he thought magickal healing would be like, he would have said under pressure that it was most likely like using a camera or scope. He would have been completely and utterly wrong. 

As Marcos focused on Isabella’s aura, golden light flooded the space behind Carlisle’s eyelids. Memories flashed before him, Marcos’ and Bella’s memories of the same events overlapping in his mind. As the echoes flashed by, Carlisle could see every wound Bella and Marcos had incurred during their constant conflicts. Not just the physical wound appeared, but aura wounds as well, and reiki ones. Every hurtful word left a bruise, every screaming match-- a deep cut. Sometimes, the aura wounds were healed by the physical ones, bruises on flesh releasing the anger and pain from wounds on reiki. 

The two Fae’s voices echoed in his mind, clearly guiding him through the memories to where he needed to be; the far away song got stronger. 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn   
Well that's alright, because I like the way it hurts   
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry   
Well that's alright, because I love the way you lie   
I love the way you lie 

Marcos’ voice was rapid-fire fast, shooting his words like a machine gun; but Bella’s was slow and soft, a pop melody that faded in and out with her consciousness. He needed to hurry. 

I can't tell you what it really is   
I can only tell you what it feels like   
And right now there's a steel knife, in my windpipe   
I can't breathe, but I still fight, while I can fight   
As long as the wrong feels right, it's like I'm in flight   
High off of love drunk from my hate   
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love her the more I suffer   
I suffocate and right before I'm about to drown   
She resuscitates me, she fucking hates me   
And I love it, wait 

Carlisle could read the energy of Marcos’ and Isa’s relationship, and it shined brightly in his mind, a deep and compelling green. The ribbon of color that connected them to each other faded and strained, then grew stronger and twine-like, before suddenly snapping. Darkness fell behind Carlisle’s eyes. 

Where you going? I'm leaving you   
No you ain't, come back   
We're running right back, here we go again   
It's so insane 'cause when it's going good, it's going great   
I'm Superman, with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane   
But when it's bad, it's awful   
I feel so ashamed, I snapped, who's that dude?   
I don't even know his name, I laid hands on her   
I'll never stoop so low again, I guess I don't know my own strength 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn   
Well that's alright, because I like the way it hurts   
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry   
Well that's alright, because I love the way you lie   
I love the way you lie   
I love the way you lie 

Before Carlisle had time to panic, blue-tinted healing magic raced through him, and what Carlisle saw made him want to weep tears for these young Fae warriors. 

You ever love somebody so much   
You can barely breathe, when you're with them, you meet   
And neither one of you, even know what hit 'em   
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills, used to get 'em   
Now you're getting fucking sick, of looking at 'em   
You swore you've never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em   
Now you're in each other's face,   
Spewing venom in your words, when you spit 'em   
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em   
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments, when you're in 'em   
It's the rage that took over it controls you both   
So they say it's best, to go your separate ways   
Guess that they don't know ya 'cause today, that was yesterday   
Yesterday is over, it's a different day   
Sound like broken records, playin' over, but you promised her   
Next time you'll show restraint   
You don't get another chance   
Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again   
Now you get to watch her leave   
Out the window, guess that's why they call it window pane 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn   
But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts   
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry   
But that's alright, because I love the way you lie   
I love the way you lie   
I love the way you lie 

Now I know we said things, did things   
That we didn't mean and we fall back into the same patterns   
Same routine, but your temper's just as bad, as mine is   
You're the same as me, when it comes to love, you're just as blinded   
Baby please come back, it wasn't you   
Baby it was me, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems   
Maybe that's what happens When a tornado meets a volcano   
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now 

Marcos had a young Bella pinned against the wall of a shabby hotel room, his scream fading to seductive whisper. He shoved himself between her legs, pinning her to the wall in an unbreakable hold, and rolled his hips against hers. 

Carlisle saw the panic attack hit Bella at the same time as echo-Marcos did, saw the black rise to consume her eyes as she scratched and clawed at the stronger boy, pleading constantly in a low voice with tears streaming down her face. 

Kaedra suddenly entered the room, throwing Marcos back telekinetically as she rushed to contain the violently panicking Bella and whirlwinds formed small tornados in the room. In the memory, the papers on the desk curled and shimmered with heat before they caught fire, and Bella’s tears sizzled when they hit the floor. Marcos was backing away, his hands raised in horrified surrender as he realized what he had done. 

Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk   
Don't you hear sincerity, in my voice when I talk?   
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball   
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the dry wall 

Another flash of blackness behind his eyes, and Marcos was watching Bella leave under cover of darkness, from the window of that same hotel, looking lost and hopeless as he met her eyes on the street below; before closing the curtain and curling up, fetal position, in the bed. 

Next time, there will be no next time   
I apologize even though I know it's lies   
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back, I know I'm a liar   
If she ever tries to fucking leave again   
I'm a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn   
But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts   
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry   
But that's alright, because I love the way you lie   
I love the way you lie   
I love the way you lie 

With a last pulse of blue-healing magic towards Marcos this time, Carlisle saw the snapped twine of Bella and Marcos’ relationship bloom once more, binding back together and becoming as thick as ribbon and strong as steel, shining with the flaming blue-gold mix of Marcos’ healing magicks and Bella’s golden one under Carlisle’s watchful eye. 

Carlisle fell as though down a long well, and before he hit the bottom, he was back in his own body; blinking his eyes as he took in Bella’s flawless skin; where before there had been only blood. 

Page Break

Hate Me (with Juice WRLD) 

Bella came back to consciousness slowly. When she finally gained her senses enough to process her surroundings, Edward was clasping her hand on one side, and Kaedra on the other. Chen was bitching about the destroyed dressing room to a patient-looking Carlisle who kept glancing at Marcos. Her wild, passionate friend and commander was laying on the couch with one hand over his eyes, the other dangling to brush the floor below him, cigarette in his fingers. 

She sighed contentedly at the lack of pain in her ribcage, though she was worm from the day’s events; squeezing Edward’s hand, she pulled herself to a sitting position using Kaedra’s strength. 

She met her lover’s eyes, taking in his pain and heartbreak at her newly-revealed secrets. 

“Well, fuck. That sucked. Blessings are a pain in the ass.” She struggled to her feet and limped to where Marcos lied on the worn out sofa, and tapped at the sole of his boot to get him to scoot over. A tense silence fell across the group as Chen finally bowed to Carlisle and exited the destroyed dressing room. Bella surprised eveyone at the song that rose on her lips, adressing Marcos’ defeated form. 

Hate me, hate me, still tryna replace me   
Chase me, chase me, tell me how you hate me   
Erase me, 'rase me, wish you never dated me   
Lies, tell me lies, baby, tell me how you hate me 

I bet you don't kiss her with your eyes closed   
I bet you're still walking on a tightrope   
Miss me so much, you've been goin' psycho   
You ain't gotta say it, baby, I know (I know, I know, I know) 

It's a thin line between all this love and hate   
And if you switch sides, you're gon' have to claim your place   
So baby, this time you're gon' have to seal your fate   
Yeah baby, this time you're gon' have to seal your fate 

Bella met Marcos’ eyes pleadingly, begging him for some form of emotion, forgiveness to respond to her own. “I’m sorry Marcos. I never should have brought you here. I know you killed that dark part of yourself that night. Miami is a bad place for us, even though we had some good times. You’re not that man anymore, I know it” 

And tell me how you hate me, hate me, still tryna replace me   
Chase me, chase me, tell me how you hate me   
Erase me, 'rase me, wish you never dated me   
Lies, tell me lies, baby, tell me how you hate me   
Hate me, hate me, still tryna replace me   
Chase me, chase me, tell me how you hate me   
Erase me, 'rase me, wish you never dated me   
Lies, tell me lies, baby, tell me how you hate me 

“Oh, but I am, Isa. God help me, I still am. Do you know why I fight for you? What I think about everytime there’s a battle, or I train to lead soldiers in your name?-- You never stop fighting, Isabella Swan. Never. I know you never stopped standing up to me, no matter how often I beat you into the dirt. You never stop fighting the Master either, never break to his hold on your soul. That’s what I think of. It’s why I was absolutely certain you would return to Havana, why I helped raise an army in your name. But I don’t want you to have to fight me. I want to be your friend.” Marcos’s voice was soft and subdued, and the mood carried in his voice as he replied to Bella’s song with a verse of his own. 

Hate me, hate me, tell me how you hate me   
Tell me how I'm trash and you could easily replace me   
Tell me that I'm strung out, wasted on the daily   
Prolly 'cause there's no one around me numbin' all my pain   
Prolly 'cause there's no umbrella to shield me from all the rain   
Probably because you're the one playin' the mind games   
You hate me because I don't let you play no mind games   
They give me migraines and damage my brain   
Date me, break me, easily replace me   
Hopefully you see it clear, hopefully it's HD   
Bet you wonder why the last few months I've been spacey   
In your head, I sing 

Bella and Marcos sang together now, begging for condemnation and forgiveness at the same time with their words. 

And tell me how you hate me, hate me, still tryna replace me   
Chase me, chase me, tell me how you hate me   
Erase me, 'rase me, wish you never dated me   
Lies, tell me lies, baby, tell me how you hate me   
Hate me, hate me, still tryna replace me   
Chase me, chase me, tell me how you hate me   
Erase me, 'rase me, wish you never dated me   
Lies, tell me lies, baby, tell me how you hate me 

tell me how you hate me   
(Tell me how you hate me)   
Lies, tell me lies, baby, tell me how you hate me. 

“I forgive you, Marcos. And I know you forgive me. But let’s settle one thing. You and I? When it was good, it was great. But we will never be lovers again. Edward is the only lover I will ever accept. He might not be my Chosen, but I don’t put much stock in that stupid ritual anyway. It’s Him and I against the world, Marcos. You’re my friend, but I can’t feel that way about you anymore. There’s just too much damage.”   
Page Break

Him&I (with Halsey) 

Cross my heart, hope to die   
To my lover, I'd never lie   
He said "be true, " I swear I'll try   
In the end, it's him and I 

He's out his head, I'm out my mind   
We got that love, the crazy kind   
I am his, and he is mine   
In the end, it's him and I, him and I 

My '65 speeding up the PCH, a hell of a ride   
They don't wanna see us make it, they just wanna divide   
2017 Bonnie and Clyde   
Wouldn't see the point of living on if one of us died, yeah   
Got that kind of style everybody try to rip off 

YSL dress under when she takes the mink off   
Silk on her body, pull it down and watch it slip off   
Ever catch me cheating, she would try to cut my (ha-ha-ha)   
Crazy, but I love her, I could never run from her   
Hit it, no rubber never would let no one touch her 

Swear we drive each other, mad, she be so stubborn   
But, what the fuck is love with no pain, no suffer   
Intense, this shit, it gets dense   
She knows when I'm out of it like she could just sense   
If I had a million dollars or was down to ten cents   
She'd be down for whatever, never gotta convince (you know?) 

Cross my heart, hope to die   
To my lover, I'd never lie (I love you baby)   
He said "be true, " I swear I'll try   
In the end, it's him and I 

He's out his head, I'm out my mind   
We got that love; the crazy kind   
I am his, and he is mine   
In the end, it's him and I 

Him and I   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
In the end, it's him and I 

Him and I   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
In the end, it's him and I 

It's her and I, mobbin' 'til the end of time   
Only one who gets me, I'm a crazy fuckin' Gemini   
Remember this for when I die   
Everybody dressed in all black, suits and a tie   
My funeral will be lit if I- 

Ever go down or get caught, or they identify   
My bitch was the most solid, nothing to solidify   
She would never cheat, you'd never see her with a different guy   
Ever tell you different, then it's a lie   
See, that's my down bitch, see that's my soldier 

She keeps that thang-thang if anyone goes there   
Calm and collected, she keeps her composure   
And she gon' ride for me until this thing over   
We do drugs together (together), fuck up clubs together (together)   
And we'd both go crazy (crazy) if we was to sever   
You know? We keep mobbin', it's just me and my bitch   
Fuck the world, we just gon' keep getting rich, you know? 

Cross my heart, hope to die   
To my lover, I'd never lie   
He said "be true, " I swear I'll try   
In the end, it's him and I 

He's out his head, I'm out my mind   
We got that love; the crazy kind   
I am his, and he is mine   
In the end, it's him and I 

Him and I   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
In the end, it's him and I 

Him and I   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
In the end, it's him and I 

Cross my heart, hope to die   
To you, I've never lied   
For you, I'd take a life   
It's him and I, and I swear (ayy)   
'Til the end I'ma ride wit' you   
Mob and get money, get high wit' you, yeah (ayy) 

Cross my heart, hope to die   
This is our ride or die   
You can confide in me   
There is no hiding, I swear   
Stay solid, never lie to you   
Swear, most likely I'ma die wit' you, yeah 

Cross my heart, hope to die   
To my lover, I'd never lie   
He said "be true, " I swear I'll try   
In the end, it's him and I 

He's out his head, I'm out my mind   
We got that love, the crazy kind   
I am his, and he is mine   
In the end, it's him and I 

Him and I   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
In the end, it's him and I 

Him and I   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh   
In the end, it's him and I


	12. Training

Huh. This chapter did not go in the direction I thought it would. I was going for BAMF, and I got fluff. Excuse me, muse. WTF are you doing? 

Are you excited? Can you tell where it’s going? 

Let’s catch up with Emmett. He feels neglected, and he’s one of my favorites. (aren’t they all?) 

(Cookies if you can guess who my favorite Cullen (besides Edward) is!) 

LINKS: 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73226662/breakdown-chapter-11-training 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0s6EvKfOQma0z3VuQJHNse?si=RmzaoLxASSm28E1JBzp0hg 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WB05TW3UE_wUaNt2Z1PegMM 

ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23991196?view_full_work=true 

FANFICTION: 

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/13308250/ 

MY USERNAME IS bellabreakdown AooO. (Work: Breakdown) 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue to read this fic over there. It is so much easier to update and use! Plus the links actually work! 

I HATE that fanfiction deletes my links to the music and photos. Any advice on how to fix it would be very welcome. 

READ AND REVIEW! I’m so grateful to all of you who read this story, and especially to all of those who leave me some encouragement. 

Page Break

Salute 

As the worn-out group approached the cavern that housed Camp, the sun was just rising. The streets were mostly abandoned; the wild party that had raged to celebrate Koinotita ending in the wee hours of the morning. Bella was looking forward to some sleep, already anticipating Edward’s cool body stretched behind her in their futon bed as she faded into blessed unconsciousness. 

The sky’s blessing hung around her neck, and she really couldn’t wait to get the stupid thing off. Bella had no desire to cross to the other side before her time, even temporarily. The dead were dead, and in her opinion, they should stay that way. 

She was so tired she could barely put one foot in front of the other, and Edward had to support her with one hand at her waist as she leaned on him heavily. 

So, she really shouldn’t have been surprised when Alice and Emmett ran to meet them at the entrance to the castle, panic on their faces. “Where have you been? Esme has been worried sick. Nevermind, you’re back now. I had a vision, an intense one. An attack is coming.” 

The words were rushed and panicked, and Bella felt her second wind hit her. She straightened to support her weight with her own two feet, her form shimmering to be covered by her usual golden dress. “What now? When? Alice, explain. Immediately.” 

Alice launched into an explanation of her vision. She had seen an attack, a shadowy form ordering Tomas to re-acquire the blessings that had been lost; at any cost. She couldn’t tell when the attack would come, only that it would be at night and that they would lose, flames rising to burn their sanctuary to the ground as Bella fell to the Master’s hold on her, eyes consumed with black. 

“Well, fuck. Let's hope you saw a pathway, not destiny’s cruel hand.” Kaedra looked as tired as Bella felt, hopeless and downtrodden. Isa’s heart bled for her ancient friend whose lover caused so much destruction to Shannara’s beloved people. 

“Nothing to do now but prepare. We’ll need to recruit.” Marcos, ever practical, cut in before the despair of Alice’s vision could take hold. 

“You’re right. Damn it, I hate asking people to join the Core.” 

“The Core?” Emmett’s voice had lost some of its boisterousness and he sounded slightly distracted. Bella saw him eyeing her slumped shoulders as determination grew on his face. 

“It’s what we call our military forces, the soldiers that join to fight with us. The Core is made up of the most battle-ready Fae in Camp. Their discipline and power keep us safe from the mental and physical attacks the Master sends, and they’re the ones who travel to the battlegrounds to protect my people.” 

“The Core is strong, hard to beat. My soldiers will win this upcoming battle, no matter what Alice sees.” Marcos’ voice was prideful, boasting. He had faith in the strength of his soldiers. “Some new recruits won’t hurt our chances any. I’m sure I can whip them into shape in no time. You’ll need to train more, though, Isa. Your endurance is good, but your mental defenses still need work, especially if Alice saw you succumb.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Right now, I need to rest. I’ll head to the training grounds when I wake up. Honestly, Marcos. I don’t know how the men stand you. You’re such a slave-driver.” 

“There are men in the Core? I got the impression Fae society was mostly matriarchal?” Carlisle inquired, his curiosity ever-present. 

“It is, but that doesn’t mean we don’t honor our men’s strength. Every Fae has the right to fight for what they believe is right, even children. Women soldiers tend to fight differently than the men. Brute strength versus subtlety, Trickery and strategy versus physical confrontation and all that. There is a place for both in battle. Marcos trains the male members of the Core exclusively, but Bella works more closely with the women. Some of them face extraordinary challenges and have overcome a great deal in their pasts. The two sections are very competitive with each other.” Kaedra continued to explain the details of the military forces that protected Camp, but her words were going fuzzy in Bella’s ears. 

“Rest. I need rest.” she said, swaying where she stood, as Edward rushed to catch her before she collapsed. Bella didn’t remember the path up the narrow stairs to the attic, and only the vaguest impression of Edward’s arms clutching her close as she fell asleep. 

Unfortunately, Alice’s vision sped up the battle-plans significantly. Bella was still exhausted when Esme shook her awake to eat something before she went to the recruitment ceremony, a scant two hours after she passed out. Edward handed her a banana and glass of milk, glaring at her until she took a reluctant bite on her way out the door. 

The recruitment ceremony was something special to see. Bella and Kaedra shouted their sung request to the crowd of gathered Fae, the military core emphasizing their words with a complicated and aggressive dance. Almost every private Fae citizen in Camp raised their hand to be acknowledged as a candidate for the Core. They would fight for their beloved Queen, and the freedom to choose their own lives free of the Master’s oppression. 

Emmett watched the ceremony with barely contained glee, squeezing Rosalie’s hand every time a new hand went up in the balconies surrounding the Arena, and again with every Fae that blinked to the platforms below to be counted. Rosalie knew it killed him to be unable to fight alongside them to protect their sister. 

Emmett was one of the most protective people Rosalie had ever known. It was one of the reasons she loved him so much. She knew he would do all in his power to keep her and her family safe, and she wished he could fight alongside the soldiers almost as much as he did, but vampires couldn’t do magic. Hatred for her vampiric nature rose in Rosalie as the ceremony ended. Why did fate have to be so cruel? 

Page Break

Go the Distance 

After the evening meal, Bella and her vampires retired to the Attic once more, Edward and Carlisle catching the others up on what they had missed with the mission to acquire the sky’s blessing. Esme was shocked and sad to learn about Marcos and Bella’s tumultuous relationship; her memories bringing her back to her human past, to her abusive husband and dying child. She and her husband disappeared to Bella’s old bedroom to comfort one another soon after they returned to their home. 

Alice and Jasper had gone to check in with the Fae seers, trying to gain confirmation of the nature of Alice’s vision, whether it was a vampiric viewing of pathways or the much more serious option of Destiny’s hand. Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and Bella took up residence in the main room of the attic. 

Edward had tried to get Bella to sleep a little more, but she had only motioned to the teetering stack of paperwork on the long table before diving into the never-ending fountain of requisition forms and incident reports. 

Emmett and Rosalie canoodled on the couch across from where Edward read on the extended futon, muttering in soft voices to one another before Emmett turned to the long table where Bella sat. 

“Bella? Could I talk to you about something?” 

“Of course, Emmett. I’m getting down to the boring stuff anyway.” She set aside the folder in front of her with a relieved air as she turned to her vampire brother, motioning for him to speak. 

Emmett didn’t know how to begin. He paused; and was as surprised as anyone when his next words came out lyrical and backed by the sound of hopeful brass. 

I have often dreamed of a far off place   
Where a great, warm welcome would be waiting for me   
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face   
And a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be 

Bella’s eyes were filling with happy tears as she listened to Emmett’s song. Gratitude and acceptance rising in her as she listened closely. 

I will find my way, I can go the distance   
I’ll be there someday, if I can be strong   
I know every mile will be worth my while   
I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong 

Emmett felt the desperation of his own words, casting his mind back to the lonely years of his human life, his regrets and choices. He wanted to fight. He needed to protect the place he had found within his strange little family, and he begged the Fae Queen for his right to fight without shame. He felt dangerous hope as well, though he knew what he was asking was impossible. Vampires couldn’t do magic, what use would he be to Bella’s forces? 

Bella spoke over the music, “You are one of the bravest men I have ever met, Emmett Cullen. I’ll speak to Marcos about it. We will find a place for you in the Core. Any soldier can be the turning point in a battle. It will be hard, probably the biggest challenge you have ever had to face. He won’t take it easy on you because you’re close to me. You’ll train every day, long and hard, and there will be resistance and prejudices to overcome. But I know you can do it. I have faith in you. Thank you for fighting for me.” 

Joy rose in Emmett, unstoppable and strong. He hadn’t thought it was possible, and he flashed to Rosalie, picking her up and spinning her in celebration before giving her an exultant kiss. He would be a soldier. He would keep his family safe. He could do it, he believed. Bella believed in him. 

Emmett knew he came off silly, the comic relief of the family when they took things too seriously. But he had purpose now, a role to play. It was worth everything. 

I am on my way. I can go the distance 

I don’t care how far, somehow, I’ll be strong 

I know every mile will be worth my while 

I will go most anywhere, to feel like I belong. 

Bella smiled at the return of Emmett’s happiness. He wouldn’t be near as boisterous when training began. Marcos would be hard on him, she knew. He would feel like Bella was pressuring him to allow Emmett into the Core because of her personal ties to him, and she was; but Emmett was a good fighter, strong and unstoppable, with a great deal of skin in the game. Everyone had the right to fight for their freedom. One soldier could be the difference between winning and losing. She would just have to convince him to give Emmett the chance to prove himself. 

Page Break

Holding out for a Hero 

“No.” Marcos was decisive and stern. “Are you crazy? He’d get himself killed in his first battle. I know you care for these vampires, but I’m doing Emmett a favor here. He has no place in magical warfare.” 

“Just give him a chance. He’s got good character and he’s more disciplined than he seems. He’s in better shape than most of the first-years already, and he’s experienced magical conflict.” 

“Yeah, frozen from the sidelines. If it were that skinny, scarred one I might be tempted. He seems like he’s got a good head on his shoulders at least. But Emmett is just a boy with delusions of grandeur.” 

“He’s almost a century old. Come on, I’d owe you one. Just a chance, that’s all I’m asking.” 

It was nearing night now, the sunset casting long shadows in the Council chamber. Kaedra was picking her nails absently as she watched Bella and Marcos argue. 

“Look at it this way, Marcos. When he gets himself killed, Isa will finally shut up about the stupid vegetarian vampires. Hell, maybe they’ll even leave. Besides, the Master will kill him anyway. Training would at least let him last a moment before the Master burns them to ashes.” 

“Gee, Kaedra. Your belief in my ability to win this fight is so inspiring.” Bella snarked, temper rising. 

“My soldiers rely on each other, my queen. I won’t expose them to put their faith in a coward. Maybe--” 

Marcos was interrupted by the alarm bells ringing over Camp, and the group immediately flashed to the watch-post that looked out over the desert plain in front of the cavern. 

A soldier snapped a regulation salute before he gave his report. “A battalion, your majesty. At least three hundred strong, and Shades as well.” 

“Motherfucker. We’re not ready.” 

“Gather the soldiers at the training grounds. If that battalion reaches the inside of the cavern, things will get very uncomfortable. Get every private citizen inside HQ. Like it or not, we’re fighting for our lives tonight.” 

The controlled chaos in the Camp as citizens and soldiers rushed around made Bella’s head spin with exhaustion. She was not adequately rested or focused for this conflict. All seven of the Cullens strode towards her determinedly in the Marketplace, where every merchant was hurriedly packing their wares as crowds streamed towards the castle. 

Bella had no time to be gentle. “Esme, Carlisle—to the castle. Carlisle, find Josephat. He’ll let you know who your paired with in the medical wing. Rosalie, I need you with the kids. They’ll be frightened with everything that’s going on. Alice, go with her. I’m sure you can think of some stories to entertain them. Jasper, Emmett, help everyone get to safety; then join the guard in front of the cavern. You’ll be part of the final defense before the battalion reaches Camp proper. Edward--” 

“I’m glued to your side Bella. I’m not going anywhere that you aren’t going.” 

Annoyance flashed across Bella’s face, but she sighed in defeat. She didn’t have time to deal with Edward’s overprotective tendencies, and she should probably keep him in her sight anyway. It would help keep her hold on her center. Fleetingly, she wished she had time to meditate. Shades always messed with her perception of reality. “Fine. But Marcos will be keeping an eye on you. You would make a valuable prisoner of war.” 

She took Edward’s hand and flashed to the training grounds outside the entrance to Camp, not even pausing to make sure her orders were followed. The horizon gleamed with Tomas’ soldiers, though he was conspicuously absent. The blessings were heavy where they lay around her neck. 

“He’s not here, Isa. I always knew Tomas was a coward.” 

“He doesn’t need to be here physically to make his presence felt. The Master’s shades will ensure him a role in the proceedings. God, I hate Shades.” 

The grotesque creatures flew a lap around the area where battle would take place before they flew to land in front of the front lines of their approaching enemy, shuddering and screaming as their bones popped. The seven shades the Master had sent to accompany his soldiers transformed from the ugly bird shapes that were their true form to take on the appearance of the Cullen family, screeching and cawing to each other as they shifted. They couldn’t be true representations of the Cullens because of the differences between vampire and Fae physiology, and cracks marred their mimics. 

It was still creepy, seeing Edward’s face look at her with such hatred in bright red eyes and Bella felt the Master’s voice begin to whisper through her thoughts once more. 

There were no speeches to inspire troops, no pause in the constant synchronized march of their enemy. Edward took a breath, sending a prayer to the heavens for Bella’s safety; then, with a crash of thunder, it began. 

Edward hadn’t had a good grasp of just how powerful Bella really was in comparison to other Fae; but as he watched her tear the battalion apart, he couldn’t help but be a little intimidated. Where other Fae mostly used one or two elemental powers, sticking to their affinities in battle, Bella used all four of the physical elements at will. The enemy forces quickly began to go out of their way to avoid her, leaving her free to assist with her soldier’s personal conflicts. Her eyes flashed between bright gold and a weak, quickly fading black as she fought, showing her internal battle with the Master’s voice, and her voice rang over the heavy drumbeat. 

Where have all the good men gone   
And where are all the gods?   
Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?   
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?   
Late at night I toss and I turn   
And I dream of what I need 

A stupid mistake by one of the new recruits saw Bella flashing away from Edward to defend the idiot, who was beset by flying stones from all sides. Edward quickly lost sight of her in the chaos, and felt panic begin to take over his mind. 

The ground shook, and a huge crevasse dripping with magma opened between Bella’s forces and the enemy. Bella ran to pull a distracted Alex away from the crack before she could fall, grabbing her away from where she teetered on the edge ; throwing the woman who had engaged her into the lava below. Edward felt brief relief, but the sensation quickly faded as he took in the situation. 

Alex and Bella were on the wrong side of the crack Bella had forced into the green grass, caught between the earthquake and the training ground’s edge. Edward backed up, preparing to leap over the crack, but Marcos grabbed him before he could. “Don’t. Look.” Enemies who tried to cross the crack in the same way Edward was about to were caught up in massive tornadoes and thrown into the waterfall that rocketed off the edge of the training ground, surely smashed and broken on the desert plain below. 

“We can’t just leave them there!” 

“Bella has an air affinity you idiot. She can fly.” Marcos threw the words over his shoulder, caught in fierce battle with a shade that looked like Esme, and was trying to get to Edward. Edward quickly covered his back, breaking bones with every punch as the enemy forces on their side of the line focused on him. 

Sure enough, when Edward looked for Bella again she was levitating in midair, carrying a green-looking Alex back to the right side of the line. But halfway across the wide crevasse, Bella was hit from the side by a shade in the shape of Carlisle, knocked off course and forced to throw Alexandra to safety as the shade pushed her back into enemy territory. Edward caught Alex on the edge of the crack, setting her on her feet. 

Bella wouldn’t hurt him. He was certain of it, and he leapt over the crack with no preparation, the ground solidifying beneath his feet as he landed on the other side. 

I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night   
He's gotta be strong   
And he's gotta be fast   
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight   
I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light   
He's gotta be sure   
And it's gotta be soon   
And he's gotta be larger than life!   
Larger than life 

The shade in the shape of Carlisle was already aflame and crumbling to ash in a sheen of golden flame, but now the other ones were cornering Bella against the edge. Jasper’s shade fell to Edward’s fists in a brief tussle that resulted in Edward throwing the damn thing over the edge, counting on gravity to do its work. 

Bella’s forces fought with finesse and skill, but they were still being pushed back towards the cavern. There were too many. At this rate, they would be overrun by sheer numbers, and Edward heard Marcos’ desperate cry as an enemy soldier pierced his calf with a shard of ice as he fended off a flaming attack from another direction. “Isa! We have to call in the reserves!” 

“Alex! Go get them!” Bella was fighting the Rosalie-shade now, and having considerable difficulty doing so while fending off vines that wrapped around her shoulders and waist, reaching for her arms hungrily. There was nothing Edward could do about the vines, but he identified their caster and smashed his head in. 

Bella was consumed with golden fire that did her no harm but burned the vines away and shot towards Rosalie’s cracked form. She disappeared in a roar of flames. Edward wasn’t paying enough attention to his own situation, and he was thrown into the ground by a cracked image of Alice that immediately pinned him-- black blood outlining sharp teeth that quickly ripped a chunk out of the arm he raised defensively. “Edward!” 

Marcos swore loudly, but he was too caught up in his own battle to help, and Edward felt the ground start to shake under him. He was going to die, and he met Bella’s eyes, wanting nothing more than the last thing he saw to be her face. 

It happened quickly. Alice’s shade caught fire from nowhere, burning away in flames that did him no harm. Bella; who was shining gold under her skin; screamed “Girls! Defend!”, and Edward was surrounded by women in fierce costume. But his plight had distracted Bella at exactly the wrong moment, and Emmett’s shade reached her. Instead of attacking her physically, the shade of his brother just clutched Bella’s face. He forced her to meet red eyes that were quickly being consumed by darkness. The cracks on shade-Emmett grew, splitting the shade’s skin; and it screamed as it tore itself apart. Bella screamed too, her eyes falling to a black void and clutching at her head as she fell to her knees. 

Somewhere after midnight   
In my wildest fantasy   
Somewhere just beyond my reach   
There's someone reaching back for me 

The Edward-shade approached Bella, eyes red and gleaming as black blood poured from its mouth, but Bella just sat there on her knees, watching its approach. 

“BELLA!” Edward roared, and tried to get to her, but it was too far, there were too many battles between him and her, he wasn’t going to make it. 

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat   
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet 

I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night 

He's gotta be strong   
And he's gotta be fast   
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight   
I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light   
He's gotta be sure   
And it's gotta be soon   
And he's gotta be larger than life   
I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night 

Emmett –the real one-, appeared from nowhere, smashing the shade-Edward’s face and ripping off its arms. With the shade’s destruction, Bella seemed to come back to herself, taking stock of her surroundings. 

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above   
Out where the lightning splits the sea   
I could swear there is someone, somewhere   
Watching me 

She screamed again, a battle-cry. Lightening flashed from the clear night sky and struck down the enemy commander, leaving chaos in its wake as their enemy tried to reorganize their attack. 

Through the wind, and the chill, and the rain   
And the storm, and the flood   
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood 

Emmett lost an arm to an ice shard, but kept fighting, throwing soldiers, enemy or not, aside as Bella glowed fiercely and stalked to where Edward was protected by the female core. 

I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night   
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast   
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight   
I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light   
He's gotta be sure   
And it's gotta be soon   
And he's gotta be larger than life   
I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night   
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast   
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight 

With one last shake of the green earth, the crack Bella had torn in the ground sealed itself, and the waterfall began to defy gravity, turning a glowing-blue as her forces’ battle-wounds were healed. Emmett’s arm reattached itself with a crackle, and Bella fell to her knees in front of her love, kissing him wildly. 

I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light   
He's gotta be sure   
And it's gotta be soon   
And he's gotta be larger than life   
I need a hero   
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night 

It was over. They had won. 

Page Break

‘Til I Collapse 

“What the fuck, Bella?” Bella groaned as she walked into the castle. She knew it was bad when a Cullen was cursing. 

Emmett continued. “You were totally kicking ass out there – and might I add, so was I- and then all of a sudden you were all helpless and human again! Why the hell didn’t you smash that stupid thing’s head in?” 

Edward was looking at her like he wanted to scoop her up and run off to Russia or something, and Emmett’s eyes were scandalized and looking at her like he thought she might need a straight-jacket. 

“Look, guys. It’s not such a big deal. The inside of my head just got a little scrambled, that’s all. It looked like Edward.” 

Josephat rushed up to the group, made of Emmett, Edward, Bella, and Jasper. Marcos had to tend to those soldiers who would require advanced healing, and Kaedra was organizing the exodus from Castle HQ. 

The battle had been short and done next-to no damage outside of the training ground. The enemy Alice had seen destroy them was gone, defeated, and Bella did not want to have this conversation right now. She just wanted to collapse somewhere, preferably horizontal with Edward, but she’d take what she could get. 

When Jo reached them, he immmediately started examining Bella’s reiki, and Bella threw up her hands in exasperation. “I’m fine. I just got distracted for a second. This is ridiculous. There are people with actual wounds for you to tend to, Jo.” 

“And yet, your majesty, it is you to whom I owe a life debt. Not to mention, your Carlisle is a very skilled healer already. He has proven himself invaluable, and I find myself unnecessary in the medical wing. What the hell happened to your reiki? I thought we had all these knots worked out.” 

“Nothing happened. Jesus, I’m not a child.” 

Edward spoke softly, subdued and gentle. “Something happened Bella. When you looked into that shade’s eyes, something changed. The damn thing exploded without you ever touching it. Whatever it did to your mind, it tore itself apart doing so.” 

Jo snarled unexpectedly. “You looked into the eyes of a shade? Isabella, why? How’s your reality matrix? Give me a rating. Right now.” 

“I dunno, six maybe? Quit worrying, it’s coming back now. Nothing happened.” 

“Reality matrix?” 

“The Master has gained considerable telepathic skills during his captivity. He can transmit himself through the shades, and has a nasty habit of convincing Isabella that what she sees is not real.” 

“That’s why you just sat there!” 

“Look, it’s not a big deal. I just haven’t had enough time to meditate lately, and shades are nasty buggers. I couldn’t see the illusion. I’m OKAY.” 

Bella shouted the last word, pushing every one of her overbearing, well- meaning friends a few feet away from her. “Seriously, guys. Back up a little. I’m not dead, and I’m not in any danger. I’m going to the dojo.” 

They could do nothing but watch her leave. 

Once she was alone in the dim attic where she, Kaedra, and Marcos trained, Bella allowed her body to start shaking. She made it through the door and almost to the opposite wall before she had to collapse to her knees, clutching at her head as tears fell from her eyes. That was close. When the Edward-shade had approached her, Bella had seen it for what it was. But Edward’s voice had rung in her mind, telling her he wanted her to stop fighting, to give up her crown and come with him. She had hesitated, unsure she could harm this thing wearing Edward’s face, speaking his deepest desires into her mind. The memory made her shudder, but she was immediately alert when she heard the door open and close behind her. 

“Edward. I just need a minute, love.” 

She knew he would come after her. He always came after her, and she couldn’t even give him this one thing, a peaceful life. 

“Tell me what happened Bella.” 

With that simple request, Bella could hold onto her pride no longer. She bowed her head to the floor, panic speeding her words as she cried, apologizing over and over again. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Edward. A century you’ve lived in peace, not killing anyone because you want to be better than that, and I’ve dragged you into this war, into this hell. I’m so sorry. I can’t Edward. I can’t hurt you, can’t fight you. I’m sorry I loved them before you. I’m sorry I do nothing but hurt you. I’m so sorry—I “ 

Edward cut her off with a kiss. “My Bella. Oh my Bella, so much pain. Don’t you know you are my world? The good, the bad, the ugly. I don’t care about them. I don’t care about Marcos, or Kaedra-Shanarra –whatever her name is-. I care about you. My family cares about you. We’re here because of you, because you are precious to us.” 

“That’s what I’m saying Edward. You’re all here because of me, because of--” Bella choked, the binding spell rising up to cease her speech. 

“Bella. Stop. We are here because we choose to be. Because we love you. Because I love you. You said every Fae had the right to fight for what they believe is right. Don’t we have that right too?” 

“I couldn’t hurt it Edward. It wore your face. He spoke with your voice. I’d do anything Edward. Anything at all, to keep you with me.” 

“I know. But Bella, I would never hurt you. You must know that. I’d never want the things from you that the Master wants. I want you to be happy, Bella. Whatever that means. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. “ 

He spoke the words with a shrug, as though he hadn’t just expressed a sentiment that rocked her to her core. “Everyone wants something Edward. Everyone. Why do you stay with me? What do you want?” 

“I want you. I want to be by your side, in whatever form I can be. I want to make you happy. One day, this will be over, and on that day, I want to take you as my wife. But it will be only a ceremony Bella, because it’s already true. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Forever. All I will ever want is you.” 

“But I’m a trouble-magnet Edward. All I do is bring pain.” 

“Then let’s get in trouble. As long as you’re there, I won’t mind.” 

“And neither will I” 

Bella collapsed in Edward’s arms, trusting him to allow no harm to come to her as she finally cried herself to sleep. 

'Til the roof comes off, till the lights go out   
'Til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth.   
'Til the smoke clears out and my high perhaps   
I'm a rip this shit till my bones collapse. 

Page Break

Flawless Remix 

Over the next week, things got crazier and crazier for Bella. She had finally given up the fight against the never-ending paperwork, spreading it out between Kaedra, Marcos, and Lizzie respectively and leaving herself with only the bare minimum that she could get away with. Her time was mostly spent mitigating her people’s fears for the future and coming up with contingency plans to ensure the survival of Camp regardless of her life or death. Any spare time she had was spent at the training grounds, or hidden away with Kaedra and Marcos pushing her to the limit in the abandoned attic where they trained privately. 

Though the Cullens still had free run of Camp, they had each found their niche in Camp’s day to day life and she barely saw any of them. Carlisle was in high demand in the medical wing; his conduct during the battle had proved him a skilled healer, and he had a knack for using the least amount of his Fae-partners' magic necessary to heal wounds. Esme was happy in the kitchens, and helped Lizzie manage the day-to-day affairs that cropped up in Bella’s household and Camp proper. Alice was once again training with the seers, this time without Jasper by her side; he and Emmett mostly haunted the training grounds, Jasper teaching strategy to the first-years and enjoying it. That was surprise to Bella, who thought teaching strategy to a bunch of ramped-up soldiers sounded remarkably like beating her head against a brick wall. 

Marcos couldn’t keep Emmett out of the Core after his heroic save during the battle, and Emmett was often seen getting his ass handed to him by the more experienced members of the Core. There had been some naysayers, but most of the soldiers accepted Emmett easily, despite his lack of magickal ability. He improved every day. Even Marcos was proud of his progress. 

Rosalie had approached Bella with another surprise, requesting to be assigned to monitor the children’s training and look after the young ones. Bella knew she valued children and wished for one of her own, but Rosalie’s skill with them was alien to her. Bella had never had time to be a child and didn’t really understand how to relate to children. Still, she had given Rosalie the role eagerly, glad to have someone who could stay with the kids on a permanent basis, instead of the usually rotating group of fierce Fae who couldn’t stay more than a day. 

She warned Rosalie that some of the children of Camp were prodigies or had come from disastrous backgrounds, and to expect them to be more mature and adult-like than mortal children. Rosalie took her advice and meshed well with the kids, bringing a great many of them out of their shells and gifting them with a golden childhood that would have otherwise been lost to war. 

Edward had found a role to play too, though he still watched Bella during his free time. The librarians had discovered him organizing a shelf of books at vampire-speed during one of his days researching Fae history, and were practically salivating to have him organize the restricted room, where Camp’s most dangerous and controversial secrets were kept. Bella bid them be patient, and turned Edward’s attention to the organization of Camp’s collection of grimoires instead. She often had to drag him out of the Library for dinner herself, and he would excitedly explain what he had learned about Fae-magicks that day over his usual damask of blood in the dining hall. 

It was the beginning of the next week when Josephat cornered her in the dining hall over dinner, shooting her a stink-eye that had been known to make the children shudder and confess their sins. “When is the last time you slept an eight-hour stretch, my Queen?” 

Bella paused in scooping potatoes onto her plate, watching Esme and Carlisle stiffen and move their attention to her and Jo’s whispered conversation. “Um, it hasn’t been that long. I get a few hours every night.” Bella would hardly give up the pleasure of Edward stretched beside her, even if most of the time she simply meditated or organized her chaotic thoughts instead of actually sleeping. 

“Uh-huh. Which is of course why your aura is fading. It’s almost as dim as a typical Fae’s. Date of last full sleep please. Be specific.” 

Bella sighed, and cast through her memories for an answer that was honest but wouldn't get her in too much trouble. She didn’t find one. “Um. Tuesday, I think?” 

“It is Saturday, Isabella. I know your dreams haunt you, but the body needs rest. Fae are still human, remember? Even Fae as exceptional as you. You are relieved from duty for the rest of the day. Go to sleep directly following dinner please. And put some protein on your plate.” 

“Jo-oh! I need to..” 

“No buts, Isabella. A full eight hours, or I’ll drag you to the medical wing. Carlisle will accompany you to the attic to make sure of it.” 

She saw Carlisle nod from his seat at the long table. Nosy, good-for-nothing healers. Why did Bella have to be surrounded by people who gave a damn about her? 

Oh, the problems she had; she thought sarcastically as she approached her vampires with her dinner in hand. The Bella of Miami and the Master’s company would have gladly died for the chance to experience such care. No one had cared about her sleep schedule so much since—Bella stopped that thought in its tracks. No need to spoil her dinner by coughing up blood. 

“Fine. But not tonight. Edward is going to hunt with his siblings, and I don’t want him to miss it for something as boring as watching me sleep.” 

“How about tonight AND tomorrow then? You need rest, your majesty. Exhaustion is all over you.” 

Damn. Her diversion had been defeated. Maybe she needed to attend Jasper’s strategy class. 

“Ugh. Fine. But no promises. If I have a nightmare, I’m not going back to sleep. My aura can just deal with it.” 

“All I ask is that you try, my dear.”


	13. Sin

OMG. DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY, IT WILL NOT HELP. 

Let’s angst, guys. My favorite Cullen is Carlisle, and we reveal some shady past stuff in this chapter. I just don’t see how Carlisle could be so old and never have done something he regrets. Lord knows I haven’t managed it, and I’m a young ‘un. 

Also, damn. The Cullens really need to learn to mind their business. 

Also, also-- tears are pouring down my face ya’ll. SHUT UP AND LOVE EACH OTHER! 

Dedicated to those who have pulled me from the edge and loved me unconditionally. 

The first part of this may seem a little disjointed, but that is 100% intentional. Bella is dreaming. Anyway! OFF WE GO! REVIEWS ARE LYFE! 

This is the last chapter of Arc 2. Arc 3 has 5 chapters, and Arc 4 has 7. Take a deep breath folks, we’re ramping up to the final battle here, quickly! Halfway there!! 

LINKS: 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73252131/breakdown-chapter-12-sin 

AO3: 

YouTube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WBDfnUMv90YrXd8sfMGPGTu 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3eJ6iLe7zJuBnzsHHmBh9u?si=qEE_6zf2So-FG4hHciOE9Q 

Page Break

Imaginary 

I linger in the doorway   
Of alarm clocks screaming monsters calling my name   
Let me stay   
Where the wind will whisper to me   
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story 

After dinner, Edward kissed her forehead and took off to hunt with Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper; Marcos accompanied them. Bella tried to sneak away to the dojo to meditate, but Carlisle stopped her with a raised eyebrow, flashing at vampire speed to block her exit from the Castle. “And where do you think you’re going, young one? Josephat has instructed you to sleep, and sleep you shall. Come on.” 

Damn. Foiled again. Her friends were really getting far too good at predicting her moves. She told Carlisle as much, and he laughed loudly; bidding Esme a fond goodbye as he escorted her to the attic, and her bed. 

Bella hated sleeping without Edward by her side, but when Carlisle tucked her covers around her in the extended futon and kissed her forehead, she thought it might actually be okay. Maybe any vampire could hold off the nightmares that awaited her, not just her lover. With that hopeful thought, Bella closed her eyes and willed herself into unconsciousness; focusing on the sound of Alice’s soft hum as she unraveled bolts of forest green fabric embroidered with flowers that blew in an imaginary breeze. 

In my field of paper flowers   
And candy clouds of lullaby   
I lie inside myself for hours   
And watch my purple sky fly over me 

It was just Bella, Alice, and Carlisle in the attic at the moment, though Esme would be coming up to join them after her role in the kitchens was complete. Alice relished in the quiet atmosphere as she designed her dress for the new upcoming gala: a celebration of the Camp’s victories and Bella’s new re-introduction to politics, since she had unfortunately missed the last one. She glanced at Bella’s sleeping form as her human sister’s breaths evened and slowed. Jo had implied that Bella had nightmares, was that why she was so reluctant to sleep without Edward? 

Alice’s curiosity started to get the better of her as she tried to focus on her sketches. She remembered the vision Bella had forced her into while she was panicking in the garden, and her lessons from the Sighted Fae, who had told her physical contact with someone could serve to narrow her field of focus to events that pertained to them. Maybe she could help? 

Don't say I'm out of touch   
With this rampant chaos; your reality   
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge   
The nightmare; I built my own world to escape 

Alice flashed to Bella’s side, pausing before she reached out to touch her. Bella lay oddly on the futon, her hands above her head and her ankles crossed, very different from her normal posture while sleeping. It looked uncomfortable, and some unnamed emotion grew stronger in Alice as she took in her sleeping sister’s form. 

“What are you doing?” Carlisle looked up from the book he was reading with a warning glance. “Don’t you dare wake her.” 

“I’m not going to wake her. I just want to see something.” Alice replied, already reaching slowly for Bella’s forehead. She didn’t want to startle her into wakefulness. Her cold hand met Bella’s forehead, and Alice closed her eyes as music filled her thoughts: a sleepy, slow and peaceful melody accompanied by long notes of vocals. 

In my field of paper flowers   
And candy clouds of lullaby   
I lie inside myself for hours   
And watch my purple sky fly over me 

Images flashed behind Alice’s white eyes, blurry and too fast to gain more than an impression. Edward in the meadow in Forks; the red-haired girl again; a lean, skinny boy with a wide smile, strumming a guitar. The dream was apparently very peaceful. 

Then, suddenly, everything changed. Dark shadows encompassed the meadow where Bella and Edward sat; red eyes gleamed. There was pain, and screaming, Bella struggling to wake; and a shout as the boy fell over a cliff’s edge into the void. “Fiore!” 

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming   
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights   
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming   
The goddess of imaginary light 

Alice tried to escape, tried to pull back her hand and leave Bella to the nightmares that were beyond what she could possibly help with. She couldn’t. She was trapped now, trapped as much as Bella was in this horrific nightmare. The music seemed to respond to her panic. Still, the vocals stayed soft and slow, somehow making the nightmare that much worse with its pleading to get away, to escape to a more peaceful world. Alice was frozen, not really in the dream and not able to escape from it. She was unable to reveal her presence to Bella, or signal Carlisle she was in trouble. Oh no. It finally occurred to her that this was yet another violation of Bella’s privacy, that she was seeing something Bella might not want her to. What had she gotten herself into? 

In my field of paper flowers   
And candy clouds of lullaby   
I lie inside myself for hours   
And watch my purple sky fly over me 

As the nightmare got worse and the shadows consumed the last dregs of Bella’s mental peace, Alice shuddered. Could Bella forgive her this? 

Page Break

Haunted 

Alice saw. 

Bella, younger now, in a circle with the two others, chanting with Shannara’s grimoire in the middle. The boy, Fiore, was consumed by the void as he fell, breaking the circle. A flash of his eyes, so different from their normal brown. 

Alice had no idea how she knew Fiore’s eyes should be brown, she just knew. It only got worse and worse, until even Alice; the silent watcher; could see no hope, no way out. Bella’s torturers were beyond cruel, greedy and delighting in their evil. The younger Bella was covered in bruises, permanent tear streaks on her dirty face as she stood alone in the dark. The huddled form of the helpless, but precious, were behind her. She shielded them from the never-ending dark, took their wounds as her own, and healed with soft touch. 

Alice wasn’t going to survive this; she would never be free again. The void was all-consuming, reaching into her very soul. As her hopelessness reached its peak, the flashes came again: Bella strapped to a pyre, the white-hot heat of a branding iron. The crack of a whip echoed around her; a knife stabbed into freckled chest. Red eyes watched impassively. Always watching. She was screaming in the square, watching Bella clutch Adeline’s body to her chest, feeling the heat of hatred, the burning cold of loss. And always, always that voice. Smooth and velvet, almost vampiric, chanting its want for Bella’s soul over and over in her mind. Never-ceasing. Time had no meaning in this place, and the dream stretched until Alice had no concept if what she was seeing was a vision or reality. 

Long lost words whisper slowly to me   
Still can't find what keeps me here   
When all this time I've been so hollow inside   
(I know you're still there) 

Watching me, wanting me   
I can feel you pull me down   
Fearing you, loving you   
I won't let you pull me down 

Hunting you I can smell you - alive   
Your heart pounding in my head 

Watching me, wanting me   
I can feel you pull me down   
Saving me raping me   
Watching me 

I can feel you pull me down   
(Fearing you, loving you)   
I won't let you pull me down 

Alice snapped back into her own body cruelly, just in time to hear Bella scream her name as she shot awake, pushing Alice’s hand away from her forehead and scrambling to sit up. Carlisle was at the foot of the bed, one finger extended where it had rested on the scar that marred the bottom arch of Bella’s foot; sadness, anger and guilt painted his face. 

Page Break

Sleep 

“Holy shit. Guys, don’t do that. Jesus.” Bella had curled up with her knees pulled to her chest at the head of the bed. Alice sat down on the edge of the futon, careful not to touch Bella as she tried to stop the whirl of her thoughts. That was what Bella faced every time she closed her eyes? Alice was suddenly incredibly grateful vampires didn’t sleep. Were all dreams that terrible? 

Carlisle broke the tense silence. “Bella, I know the binding prevents you from speaking about your trauma, but if possible, I would like you to answer a question for me.” 

“Shoot.” 

“How did you acquire that scar on the bottom of your foot?” Carlisle’s voice was wracked with hope and fear. 

Bella examined her lover’s vampire father closely. Carlisle wanted something from her, a specific answer, but she wasn’t sure what he wanted her to say. She responded vaguely. 

“It’s just one among many, Carlisle. The Master had this machine, he was fond of using it while I slept. It attaches to the ankles and wrists, and-” 

“- extends the muscles tighter than they can bear. A rack. God, forgive me. I knew your posture looked familiar.” Carlisle put his head in his hands, guilt in every inch of his form. 

Alice cut in. “Are your dreams always like that?” Horror laced her words. 

“No, not when Edward is with me. When he’s not, they're these terrors, and it's like- It feels like as if somebody was gripping my-” Bella choked and tried again, the smell of blood in the air. “They're these terrors and it's like- It feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat.” 

She turned to Carlisle, who was defeated and old, at the end of the bed. “Like this night, uh, they're not like tremors, they're worse than tremors... they're, they're these terrors. There’s nothing to do about them, so don’t look so guilty. Wait. You didn’t see my dreams, only Alice. And how do you possibly know what a rack is?” 

Like last night, uh, they're not like tremors   
They're worse than tremors they're, they're these terrors 

And its like   
It feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat   
And squeezing and   
It feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat 

Carlisle’s voice was halting, slow and begging- for what Alice did not know. “It was the early 1700s, and Prussia was gaining more and more power. Religious wars had mostly come to a halt by then, but the Spanish Inquisition had left its mark on us. Catholicism was falling out of favor quickly, and Protestantism was becoming more and more popular. I was staying in one of the last major monasteries, trying to avoid the political upheaval at that time. There was a boy, young boy. He was protestant.” 

Some say, now suffer all the children   
And walk away a savior   
Or a madman and polluted   
From gutter institutions 

“The king at that time, James the Second, was an open Catholic and would do whatever was necessary to improve the power of the Church. He enlisted monasteries like ours to..to..” 

Don't you breathe for me   
Undeserving of your sympathy   
'Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did 

And through it all   
How could you cry for me?   
'Cause I don't feel bad about it   
So shut your eyes   
Kiss me goodbye   
And sleep   
Just sleep 

The hardest part is letting go of your dreams 

“You tortured them.” Bella didn’t even sound shocked, just sad. “Oh, Carlisle. How could you?” 

“It was God’s work, they told me. And I was so young then, so willing to do as I was told. I would run to the Volturi soon; I had to cut myself off from the human world and its cruelties. The boy- his name was Adam. They put him on the rack for days on end, and eventually he didn’t even scream anymore. It was my job to go down and loosen the screws, make sure he got enough water and bread to survive. I would recite the psalms to him, wipe his brow. I tried to soothe him, protect him. I petitioned over and over again for him to be released. One day, during Mass, they went down and slit his throat. I could smell the blood in the chapel. I haven’t attended Mass since. They tortured him, killed him. And I did nothing.” 

Bella got up, heading to the kitchen and pouring herself a large glass of whiskey, which she downed in one swallow. When she returned to the bed, she sat close to Carlisle at the foot of it, taking a moment to take in her rumpled covers and reflect on the horrors of the rack. 

A drink for the horror that I'm in   
For the good guys, and the bad guys   
For the monsters in our beds   
Three cheers for tyranny   
Unapologetic apathy   
'Cause there ain't no way that I'm coming back again 

The hardest part's the awful things that I've seen 

Sometimes I see flames and sometimes   
I see people that I love dying and, it's always... 

“Carlisle. Look at me. I’m sure you were a great comfort to him. Adam, I mean. It’s okay. Sometimes there is nothing you can do.” 

“I could’ve done something, I could’ve taken him away, saved his life. But I didn’t. I was too afraid, too selfish.” 

“No. You were young. I’ve been on the rack Carlisle, and I guarantee you were kinder to Adam than my guards were to me. Tell me, did you ever loosen the screws more than you were told to? Did you ever give him more food, more water, than was ordered?” 

“Yes, but-” 

“But nothing, Carlisle. Small kindnesses like that? They make all the difference in those situations. Trust me, I know. Why did you recite the psalms to him?” 

“I wanted to give him something to focus on. Something besides the pain. I can’t- I can’t read the psalms anymore. I let him down. I never even got to finish them before they killed him.” 

Just sleep   
Just sleep   
Just sleep   
Just sleep   
Just sleep   
Just sleep 

Wake up   
Wake up   
Wake up   
Wake up   
And I can't, I can't ever wake up 

“Bella, I care for you deeply. I am so sorry you had to go through the same torture Adam did. I am so sorry God has seen fit to inflict on you my sins, make you suffer to teach me.” 

Now, Bella looked shocked. “What? Are you crazy? God doesn’t work like that, Carlisle. He is not so cruel. He didn’t put me through the rack so I could hurt you. He put me through it so I could heal you. Heal the healer of his guilt. I forgive you Carlisle, and I know Adam did too.” 

Bella had moved back to the head of the bed, rearranging pillows and smoothing the blankets in her ratty sweats and gauze-wrapped arms. “Come here.” 

Carlisle sat next to her, and she turned her back to him, grabbing his hand and pulling it around her waist so she was stretched out with Carlisle stretched against her back. “You too, nosy Alice.” 

Alice stretched along Bella’s front, the little spoon to her big spoon, and Carlisle’s bigger spoon. “I’m sorry you had to see what you saw Alice. Don’t ever spy on my dreams again. You’re forgiven too.” 

“Now. Carlisle, I want you to finish the psalms. Alice, hum. I like hearing noise as I sleep, it helps me pick out what is real and what is dreaming. Both of you are going to lay here until Esme and the boys return, and I do not want you to wallow in guilt either. Just...be here, with me. “ 

Alice spared a half-second's thought for what her lover and family would say, but she was sorely in need of Bella’s comfort and forgiveness. So, she entwined her hand with her father’s over Bella’s waist, and hummed a lullaby to woo her sister to peaceful sleep and soothe Carlisle’s sin; listening to the soft sounds of the psalms echoing in the dark. 

Page Break

Wide Awake 

When Edward returned from the hunt with his brothers and sister, he was laughing, for once without a care. Bella was safe. They had won the battle. His family was beside him, and happier; more purpose-filled than they had ever been. He felt closer to his coven, his family than he ever had. Bella was sleeping on the futon right now, and he was only seconds away from slipping in next to her, and—When he reached the window, his customary few seconds before the others, he immediately knew that something serious had happened. 

Carlisle and Alice were curled up with Bella in the middle, his father chanting with his forehead on Bella’s left shoulder, the one with the brand. Esme had hold of Carlisle’s hand and was soothing his father from some unknown pain, but his chant did not stop, did not cease except for the breaks when his father would draw ragged breath. 

Alice looked lost and sorrowful, and when Jasper came through the window, he immediately went to her side and took her hand, flashing past a frozen Edward to sit at the head of the bed. Rosalie and Emmett were immediately on guard for threats; but when they found none they too went to the bed, sitting stiffly at the foot of it. 

Edward felt his whispered voice crack as he took in the scene. “Be-lla?” 

HIs whisper woke his love slightly, who reached for him over Alice’s side. Edward didn’t even think, just moved his body to sit in the curve of his sister’s stomach so he could take her hand. 

He couldn’t read Bella’s thoughts, but he could read Jasper’s. His love was peaceful, sheltered, grateful, still half-asleep. It was his family that was hurting, his father penitent and wracked with guilt and gratitude, the contrasting emotions almost too much for him. Alice was regretful and sad, guilty too. 

I'm wide awake   
I'm wide awake 

When his father’s manic recitation of the psalms stopped, it was like someone had given them permission to speak, but no-one could think of what to say. 

After a moment, Rosalie softly enquired in a whisper, “What happened?” 

Alice spoke in a whisper inaudible to human ears, softly explaining what she had done, what she had seen of Bella’s nightmare, what Carlisle had revealed about his distant past. That Bella had comforted them, forgiven them, requested they stay. Edward thanked God for every second of the life that had led him to his lover. 

I'm wide awake   
Yeah, I was in the dark   
I was falling hard   
With an open heart   
I'm wide awake   
How did I read the stars so wrong 

Bella woke softly, slowly. She was cold, but it felt nice, like waking up at evening after a warm fall day. Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw her position. The entire Cullen family was on the bed in some form or another, and Edward was looking at her like she hung the moon. They all were, some unnamed emotion in their eyes. “What? What happened? What’s wrong, are you guys okay?” 

I'm wide awake   
And now it's clear to me   
That everything you see   
Ain't always what it seems   
I'm wide awake   
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long 

Edward was the first to speak. “Isabella Swan, I am irrevocably in love with you.” Bella felt discomfort at the words, at the way he said them, the certainty of it, but she of course she responded. She would never miss an opportunity to tell Edward she loved him. 

I wish I knew then   
What I know now   
Wouldn't dive in   
Wouldn't bow down   
Gravity hurts   
You made it so sweet   
Till I woke up on   
On the concrete 

“I love you too, Edward. Seriously, what’s going on? Is this real, or am I dreaming still?” 

“I love you too Bella. This is real. I’ll always be your sister, and your best friend.” Alice spoke too, sitting up and brushing Bella’s hair from her forehead, in the same spot where Carlisle had kissed her forehead earlier. Esme was next. “You are my daughter, Isabella. Thank you for what you have given our family.” 

Bella was starting to freak out. 

Jasper cut in before she could. “Thank you, Bella. Thank you for loving us. You are my sister too. My older sister, weirdly enough.” “My older sister too.” Rosalie cut in with a decisive nod. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for coming back for me, for saving me from those Beetles.” Emmett was nodding with his wife, “Well, you’re still my younger sister. I’ll always protect you.” 

Falling from cloud nine   
Crashing from the high   
I'm letting go tonight   
I'm falling from cloud nine 

I'm wide awake   
Not losing any sleep   
Picked up every piece   
And landed on my feet   
I'm wide awake   
Need nothing to complete myself, no 

“Welcome to the family, my daughter.” Carlisle brushed his lips against her forehead again. 

Bella sat, frozen. Her head was whirling. Even Jasper couldn’t tell what she was feeling, only that it wasn’t anything good. There was a moment where he thought Bella would be overwhelmed by happiness, but then strange, alien emotions bombarded him. Fear. Yes, fear was the most prominent one. 

Bella scrambled off the bed, vaulting over the end of the bed and running out the door to the attic. She threw open the door before they could react, and then paused on the threshold of the attic. 

“You know, Alice; the nightmare never ends. Even when I’m awake. I can’t be a part of your family. I want to, but--” there was the scent of blood in the air, and for once the Cullens realized it was an expression of a wound, not a curse. Bella grit her teeth. Flashes echoed around them, some they had seen, others they didn’t recognize. Trees growing through the floorboards of a living room, a white-bearded man’s shocked face, the red headed girl playing the piano while Bella picked a violin, the skinny boy—Fiore—kissing Bella’s forehead. 

“I had a family, once. It didn’t turn out so great.” Bella went to exit the attic, but Edward’s voice stopped her. “Our love won’t end just because you can’t love us back, Bella.” 

Bella swallowed a few times, her facial expression becoming hard and dead, her voice icy monotone. “Then you will die.” Bella walked down the stairs and out of the attic. 

One, one-two, one. 

I'm wide awake   
Yeah, I am born again   
Out of the lion's den   
I don't have to pretend   
And it's too late   
The story's over now,…


	14. Unbound

I AM ON FIAAAAHHHHH! And I’ve been drinking coffee and writing aaaaallll day, so I am slightly manic. It’s midnight already, and I’m just starting this chapter. 

Also, it’s really, really long. But 2,418 words of it is just music. SO, yeah. 

So much angst ya’ll. But hey, if BELLA can laugh about it, so can we. 

I HATE everyone in this chapter. So, if Bella seems a little aggressive, it’s probably just me taking out my anger through her. 

Sorry. 

They all have whole backstories to their villainous shenanigans that didn’t make it into the story. Like I said, this might become a series of sorts. I think it’s interesting, how people can view the same events so differently. ANYWHO 

ENJOY! READ AND REVIEW! 

I’ve been getting less and less reviews lately? Is something wrong? Is my writing starting to suck, or feel rushed or something?? Does it make sense, even? Am I leaning too much on the songs? This is all like 100% rough draft, un-beta-ed nonsense y’all. All these chapters have been. Is it too angsty? Too many run-ons? Silly? 

You would not believe the number of doubts I have about myself right now. This is like the first time I have EVER written anything of this length, or that isn’t basically just smut. 

And this story is very, very close to my heart. I’m trying to express something here, say something worthwhile. I want it to be PERFECT. 

TELL MY WHYYYYYYY. Please? So I can fix it? Anybody? 

ANYWAY! ONWARDS AND UPWARDS! ARC 3 IS BEGINNING! WE ARE HALFWAY THERE! 

This chapter is dedicated to my very best friend, Aya, who helps me be better every day; and helped me find the song that inspired this whole chapter. This whole Arc, really. You are the family I choose. 

Links: 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73259251/breakdown-chapter-13-unbound 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WARlZ00L-Hmxkm991lYxXgj 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2csyhImVRpYyA7Rqd3gqoV?si=tavkPq9HQauOxLAtKsdMVQ 

Ao3: 

Fanfiction: 

Page Break

So I Thought 

For two long days after the Cullens had told Bella they loved her, Bella did the only thing she could think to do. Isabella Marie Swan: mighty Queen of the Fae, master of all the elements, hid like a little girl. She avoided everyone but Lizzie and Alex, and she crashed their honeymoon to stay in their basement. 

Finally, on the third day, Alex had just about enough of Isa being a coward and ruining her chances of getting laid. She booted Isa out onto the street, literally, and had Kaedra and Marcos help her set up a repelling shield around all of Bella’s hiding spots; well, all the ones they knew about. 

Bella carefully took note of which ones they had knowledge of; but she got the message. So, that evening, she joined the Fae of Camp at the dining hall and sat at the table with her vampires and friends, determined to pretend nothing had happened at all. 

She should’ve known better. Josephat was on her in a heartbeat. “Seriously? You’re giving me a headache from over here. Look at this.” He twined two fingers around her wrist. “Honestly, Isabella. You’re not invincible. Well, you could be. But you don’t want to be. So you have to do certain things: like eat and sleep, and oh yeah, not hide like a child and neglect yourself!” By the end of his sentence, his voice was carrying through the much quieter dining hall. 

The Cullens were panicked-looking, but Bella just turned to Jo; laughing. “I’ve slept! I’ve done nothing but sleep, well, and meditate. But mostly sleep.” 

Jasper felt brief relief wash over his family, and the Fae in the dining hall went back to their own conversations. Jasper realized that Bella’s voice had been pitched to carry at the same time Josephat spoke in a deadly whisper. The healer sounded almost violent. 

“Meditating? Sleeping excessively? Not eating? Not allowing anyone into your space? I know you, Isabella Swan. You know as well as I do what these are symptoms of.” 

Now it was Bella’s turn to look panicked. “What? No, that’s not what I meant. It’s ok, really. I’m fine.” 

Marcos and Kaedra leaned across the table at the same time, eyes narrowed. Jo began chanting immediately. “No, guys really. I promise. I was...I was just looking. I was forcing visions. I didn’t use. I promise. Check my arms, if you don’t believe me.” 

The Cullens shook at the reminder of Bella’s weakness. Had Bella relapsed because of their actions? 

Alice was frightened, more frightened than her family. Forcing visions? She had seen what some of the Seers did to themselves in order to pursue visions of the Master’s plans. She had seen Bella’s nightmares. Why would Bella do that? 

Kaedra looked around taking in the few Fae left in the dining hall. “I think perhaps, it is time to move this conversation to a more private location. Up, Bella. Don’t make me kick your ass in front of all these people.” 

“I’d like to see you try.” Bella snarked, but stood anyway. Then she sighed. “This is more something for the Attic than the council chamber, I think. I’m talking to my friends, not my advisors. Right?” 

“Always.” Kaedra, Marcos, and Jo chorused as they followed her from the dining hall, the Cullens close behind. 

When they reached the balcony of the Attic, Bella closed the french doors. She took the blessings from her neck and shimmered into her sweats and gauze. She put up her hair in a ponytail. There was a routine to this, Edward realized. Bella did it everytime she came home. 

Then, she, Marcos, and Kaedra sat Indian-style on three sides of the fire, facing outward from one another, with Josephat sitting in a chair that was off in the corner slightly. Esme blinked for just a moment at the seven chairs that surrounded the small table and firepit. The same ones that had been there since the Cullens’ had first come to Havana. 

Bella might not consider them her family, but she valued their place in her personal life. Esme’s heart warmed to her Fae daughter all over again. 

All your twisted thoughts free flow   
To everlasting memories   
Show soul   
Kiss the stars with me   
And dread the wait for   
Stupid calls returning us to life 

Edward sat first, in the chair directly facing Bella. Esme and Carlisle sat to Edward’s left, Alice and Jasper to his right. Rosalie and Emmett completed the circle. Jasper was even with Marcos, and Kaedra with Carlisle. No word was spoken for a long moment as the fire lit itself and the song rang in the air around them. 

We say to those who are in love   
It can't be true 'cause we're too young   
I know that's true because so long I was   
So in love with them   
So I thought 

A year goes by   
And I can't talk about it 

On my knees   
Dim lighted room   
Thoughts free flow try to consume myself in this   
I'm not faithless   
Just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose 

“I knew Edward for a year before he left. There was a misunderstanding, and he thought he needed to protect me. I didn’t know where he or the Cullens were, I had no way to get in touch with them. I do not blame them for this, nor did they have any knowledge of my actions during the period in which they were absent.” 

Ignorance is bliss cherish it   
Pretty neighborhoods you learn too much to hold   
Believe it not   
And fight the tears   
With pretty smiles and lies about the times 

“I needed to keep them safe. They had no knowledge of my identity, no clue that they needed to protect themselves. To this day, I do not know how they can forgive me that. I had to. I had never had a vision before, but I knew it was one of my affinities. I started with the future.” Bella met Alice’s eyes. 

A year goes by   
And I can't talk about it   
The times weren't right   
And I couldn't talk about it 

“That was a mistake. As you know, Fae see the future differently than you do, Alice. We see Destiny, the path that is. There is much in the future which cannot be changed. You know the stakes of this war.” 

Kaedra and Marcos nodded together, creepily in sync, and Bella echoed the motion. Her gaze shifted to Edward. 

“Then I searched the past. Every memory, from every angle, over and over again.” Josephat jolted in his chair, and Carlisle winced. But Bella’s focus remained on her lover. “You know what I will do for you.” 

Kaedra and Marcos nodded again. 

Romance says goodnight   
Close your eyes and I'll close mine   
Remember you, remember me   
Hurt the first, the last between 

“I searched for clues. Anything. Everything, to save you, all of you from the evil I unleashed on your family. I couldn’t help it. It was addictive, as addictive as zydrate ever was. Eventually I relapsed.” 

Slowly romance says good night   
Close your eyes and I'll close mine   
Remember you, remember me   
Hurt the first, the last, between 

“I was comatose for a few days. It was bad, almost as bad as when I first got out of the hospital following my captivity.” Josephat winced again. 

And I'm praying that we will see   
Something there in between   
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream   
So we can talk about it 

“But it taught me something. I cannot fulfill my duties as Queen in this matter. In this matter, my goals are entirely personal. I will allow no harm to come to the Cullen bloodline.” 

Hurt the first, the last healing 

And I'm praying that we will see   
Something there in between   
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream 

And all these twisted thoughts I see   
healing there in between   
And all these twisted thoughts I see   
healing there in between 

Bella’s next words filled the empty space in the Cullens’ hearts with hope. “It is my intention to submit the Cullen-line to become a fully recognized bloodline among my people, with the rights and responsibilities of every Fae citizen. I will not be swayed from this path. Do you submit to my will on this matter?” 

Marcos hesitated, just a moment. But he knew the Cullens. “I submit, my Queen.” 

Kaedra’s pause was longer, more thoughtful. When she spoke, her voice was choked, and soft; with four thousand years of history behind it. “I submit, Isabella.” 

Bella smiled, radiant. 

Page Break

Only Prettier 

“Alice, you have to pick a color, or the cast won’t work!” Bella exclaimed irritably. 

The gala that was to celebrate Camp’s victories and welcome Bella back now had a third purpose: The prospective Cullen-line's formal introduction to Fae society. 

Kaedra pranced into the room in a velvet midnight-blue gown with a deep-cut mesh neckline and a long train; she was decked in diamonds. “You guys are still getting ready? My god, Bella you should be ashamed of yourself. I know you hate these things, but damn. Talk about procrastination.” 

“You hate these?” Emmett asked, surprised. “Why?” 

“It’s just a bunch of pomp and circumstance, that’s all. I’m not big on politics. Too two-faced. If you’ve noticed, I’m fairly undignified as a leader. Mix the personal and professional and all that. It’s always caused some...tension. Galas are just events where a bunch of people who hate each other pretend to like each other for the evening. It’s tiring. And what you wear to these things may as well be armor. It’s all about presentation.” Bella was putting on her lipstick in the mirror as she spoke, and suddenly she drew a large heart on the glass and turned to her vampires. 

Well I've been saved by the grace of southern charm   
I got a mouth like a sailor and yours is more like a Hallmark card   
If you wanna pick a fight, well I'm gonna have to say goodnight   
I don't have to be hateful; I can just say bless your heart 

Kaedra joined Bella in her sudden dance, twirling around Esme as Bella twirled with Alice and Rosalie. 

And even though I don't belong with your high life friends   
Doesn't mean we don't get together and try to make amends   
It's easier can't you see let's agree to just disagree   
We don't have to like each other but its sure fun to pretend 

Bella dyed Alice’s gown to a deep emerald, one impossible to replicate with any mortal dye, and kept the original design with only a few modifications, adding a string of pearls and emeralds around Alice’s neck; but she turned Rosalie’s dress bright purple and changed it drastically, adding layers upon layers at the bottom and studding it with diamonds. She side-parted Rosalie’s hair into perfect shiny curls as well, adding diamonds that sparkled in the golden locks. Esme got a royal blue gown with a high split up one leg, her hair sideswept in an elegant updo, courtesy of Kaedra. She got a beautiful sapphire and gold necklace. 

So lets shake hands and reach across those party lines   
You got your friends just like I got mine   
We might think a little differently   
But we got a lot in common you will see   
We're just like you, only prettier 

Bella looked at Alice, seeming puzzled; she absently tousled Carlisle’s hair in a way that made him look twenty-three instead of the older physical age he pretended to be. Jasper got a bright green tie with a golden tie-pin. Emmett actually looked great in the deep purple vest Kaedra snapped her fingers and materialized. All of them had the Cullen crest on them in some shape or form. Bella smiled as she draped a golden tie around Edward’s neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss, careful not to smudge her lipstick. Then, she snapped her fingers and turned to Alice again. “I know. Alice, close your eyes.” 

When Alice opened her eyes, she had jet-black hair all the way to her shoulder-blades, in elegant finger waves. She squeaked excitedly, almost ruining Bella’s own dress with her exuberant hug. 

Bella had changed from her typical golden dress to a gown in a richer, truer gold. Vines twirled around her torso, and the same vines formed shorts beneath the long drapery that hung to the floor from her left hip. The top was one-shouldered, reminding Edward of the top she had worn at Club Cumming. Its strap served to cover the brand on her left shoulder, while the rest of Bella’s scars remained exposed, even decorated, with the intricate vinework lace. Her hair was done up in a complicated updo that reminded Edward of a Celtic knot, and she wore a headband of burgundy roses like the one he wore preserved in crystal around his neck. 

“There. You’re ready. Just remember, everyone is your enemy until proven otherwise.” 

Everybody says you gotta know your enemies   
Even if they only weigh a hundred pounds and stand five foot three   
If you just smile and behave you could always get your way   
It's a universal plan that'll get you where you can in all societies 

Edward had not seen the ballrooms on the first floor, but he was surprised by how normal their opulence seemed to him: he had gotten used to the grandiose majesty of the Castle. The space was certainly very gold; more gold gilded the walls in the ballrooms than anywhere else in the castle. 

So lets shake hands and reach across those party lines   
You got your friends just like I got mine   
We might think a little differently   
But we got a lot in common you will see   
We're just like you, only prettier 

Bella spent the first thirty minutes formally welcoming each of the six bloodlines and their heads-of-family. Drinks were served, and Bella made rounds of the room. Everyone wanted to talk to her. Kaedra and Marcos got their fair share of attention too, but the Cullens received a cold welcome from the political bigwigs here, except of course for Josephat. 

Lets shake hands and reach across those party lines   
You got your friends just like I got mine   
We might think a little differently   
But we got a lot in common you will see   
We're just like you, only prettier 

Josephat motioned to Edward. “Keep an eye on her tonight please. Your Bella really does hate what she calls “Political schmoozing”. She often slipped off when she was younger. There are plenty of snakes in the grass here, people who will smile to her face while they knife her in the back. Be alert.” 

Josephat turned to a newcomer to the party, a man with a long white beard and half-wild white hair, but dark eyebrows. He was skinny, but gave off a powerful air. “Ah, but this man isn’t to worry about. Aphroditus,I’m so glad you were able to make it. Please, meet Edward Cullen, our young Queen’s vampire lover. She has submitted that he and the rest of the Cullen family be acknowledged as a bloodline.” “Is that so? How wonderful!” The man, Aphroditus, clapped his hands and went to welcome Edward with a strong handshake. “I hear this family is quite exceptional Jo, why--” 

Isabella Swan flashed from nowhere to Edward’s side, grabbing Aphroditus’ wrist before he could touch Edward. “I would keep your hands off of him, were I you.” 

A gleam appeared in the older man’s eyes. “And why would that be, my dear?” 

Bella’s neutral expression faded to an angry glare before she composed her face again. “Vampire skin is much cooler than ours. I wouldn’t want you to get sick and die. Excuse me, I need to speak with Lizzie for a moment. Edward, don’t touch him please.” 

Bella turned, and with a hurried step, rushed out of the ballroom. 

Page Break

Dance with my Father 

Carlisle considered himself quite good at “schmoozing”, as Bella called it. In his centuries as a doctor, he had learned that most social events were best approached as an extension of hunting strategy. Stealth, charm, and a sense of your opponent’s strengths was key. 

He was speaking with a stiff member of the Shaman line who wanted to know more about Alice’s vampiric Sight. “Yes, of course. But Alice can often be wrong in her visions. They have caused me and my family a great deal of trouble.” he chuckled, as though remembering a particularly mischievous incident. In reality, Alice was very rarely wrong; and when her visions did not come to pass, it was anything but funny. He still shuddered at the memory of Alice calling Jasper to tell him she was on the way to Volterra. 

The Shaman head-of-family warmed to him a bit. “Yes, when my son was young, he caused a great deal of trouble. Why I don’t know--” 

Carlisle saw Bella rush away from Edward and Josephat, who were standing next to a white- haired man in a dark suit. He excused himself as quickly as was polite from the Shaman man’s side, content that he would not attempt to hold sway over his daughter’s Sight. 

Edward was stuck in polite conversation with Aphroditus, but he was gritting his teeth against the urge to run after Bella. She hadn’t seemed worried, just upset and hurried. When he saw Carlisle nod at him over the obnoxious man’s shoulder, he visibly relaxed. 

By the time Carlisle found Bella, at least fifteen minutes had passed. She was in her office on the second floor, lying on the couch and swilling whiskey from a glass that sat next to her on the floor. 

He tapped the sole of her foot, careful to avoid the scar on the arch of it, in the same manner she had requested Marcos to scoot over on their botched mission. Bella sighed, but scooted over to make room for him. 

“Want to talk about it?” 

A bitter laugh escaped Bella’s throat. “No, I guess I don’t. I wish you could drink with me.” 

“Who were you and Edward speaking to?” 

“Don’t worry about it. He’s not dangerous, just an asshole. Most of them are. In that party alone: I ran into a girl who won’t stop spreading hateful rumors, two people who are spying for the Master, and one who is working for the Master and beating his wife. Real charmers, all of them.” Bella spat a mouthful of old blood on the floor. “But none of them are as bad as that man. You guys need to stay away from him, no matter what anyone says.” 

“I will certainly do so, if you think so poorly of him.” 

“Quit that.” 

“What?” 

“That thing you and your family do. The I-have-utter-and-complete-faith-in-you thing.” 

“We do have faith in you, Bella. Faith that you will always do your best to do what is right.” 

“I can’t promise that.” 

“You promise it with every action you take.” 

Bella turned from him and reached for the whiskey bottle, but Carlisle scooped it up before she could grab it. “A snake pit is no place for a drunk. You will be missed.” 

“Let them miss me then. They’re all so used to me slipping away from these things, they’ve come to expect it.” Bella grabbed for her glass, but Carlisle anticipated her and reached it just before she did. 

“Stop that.” 

“What?” 

“The well-meaning-fatherly-caring-joking-thing. I don’t like it.” 

“Why?” Carlisle’s voice was suddenly serious. 

“Look, it’s not--” Bella sighed, slumping back to sit with her hand over her eyes, leaning against the back of the couch. “It’s not you. It’s not anything you do. I actually sort of like your playful side. It reminds me how young you really are. You were what? Twenty-three when you were turned?” 

“Yes. It was a very different twenty-three, but I like that you don’t expect me to be ancient and serious all the time.” Carlisle sat next to Bella on the couch, pouring a small amount of whiskey in her empty glass with a doctor’s precision, before handing it to her. “Is it Charlie? Renee?” 

“No, though I regret Charlie’s death. He will be missed. Like so many others.” Bella raised her glass in a toast and took a small sip. She rested her forehead on Carlisle’s shoulder. 

“Is that it? You don’t want to lose us?” Carlisle felt Bella shake her head against his shoulder, felt tears wet his shirt. He wrapped Bella in a hug, and when he released her, his tone was nostalgic and loving. “You know Bella; when I was a boy, fathers were supposed to be stern and strict. But mine wasn’t. He laughed with me, played with me. He delighted in me; like I delight in you, in all my children. My mother loved him a great deal. It killed her, when he died. I still pray for them, that they’re together and happy somewhere.” 

“I won’t push you too much tonight. But just know we are here for you; however you wish for us to be. Don’t be so afraid of something being destroyed that you never choose to take hold of it.” 

Carlisle wiped Bella’s tears with his thumbs, kissed her forehead, and left to cover for her at the gala for a few moments. His first son would be tearing his hair out by now. 

Page Break

Because of You 

“It’s not nice to spy, father-dear.” Bella spat the words into the deep shadows of her seemingly empty office. 

“So, Isabella has a new family now. I have to admit, I’m impressed. How much do they know?” 

“Go to hell. They don’t know anything. You know they don’t. They don’t know anything, because I can’t tell them. Thanks for that. It definitely didn’t make things more difficult.” 

“I didn’t do this to you.” Aphroditus fairly spat the words at his once-daughter. “You did it to yourselves, all of you. I never should have encouraged you.” 

“You never should have dug up that goddamn book! We had no idea what we were doing. We were desperate.” Isabella threw the whiskey glass against the wall of her office, where it shattered. When Aphroditus flinched away from the glass, he stood in the light. 

“And then-- you silenced me. For no reason more substantial than your goddamned reputation.” the last word was a deadly whisper, contrasting with the soft piano that began to play. Aphroditus went very still, turning pale. 

I will not make   
The same mistakes that you did   
I will not let myself   
Cause my heart so much misery   
I will not break   
The way you did, you fell so hard   
I've learned the hard way   
To never let it get that far 

“That man you just spied on? The one who was pouring his heart out to me? He’s twice the man you could ever even dream of being. If he had been around when we were young, we wouldn’t have looked at you twice. And his son? God, I wish I could trust you around Edward, just so you could see all that you will never be. His children, his wife? They are so very precious and deserving of love, and because of you, I cannot love them as they deserve, in honesty and truth.” 

Because of you   
I never stray too far from the sidewalk   
Because of you   
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt   
Because of you   
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me   
Because of you   
I am afraid 

“It’s true you know. I am afraid because of you. Do you have any idea what it did to my relationship with Renee? With Charlie? With my people? There are those who have died because of your lies, those who follow the Master blindly because of what you did. “ 

I lose my way   
And it's not too long before you point it out   
I cannot cry   
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes   
I'm forced to fake   
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life   
My heart can't possibly break   
When it wasn't even whole to start with 

“God. That’s the one question I could never find an answer to. Why? When I came to you, the world had just ended. You could have bundled me close, gotten someone, helped me. But you bound my tongue. Why? What is it about all this”-- Bella motioned to the Castle around them, “--that was worth betraying us for?” 

Because of you   
I never stray too far from the sidewalk   
Because of you   
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt   
Because of you   
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me   
Because of you   
I am afraid 

“You were already destroyed by the time you came to me.” Aphroditus was hissing furiously now. “You were ruined before I ever came along. You were ruined the moment you saw each other. The Royal Three. What a joke. I couldn’t have prevented this. Why should I suffer for your mistakes?” 

I watched her die 

I heard her cry, every night in her sleep. 

“I’m not, and have never, asked you to suffer for my mistakes. I’m asking you to suffer for yours.” 

I was so young   
You should have known   
Better than to lean on me   
You never thought of anyone else   
You just saw your pain 

“They are the best thing that ever happened to me, Aphroditus. And because of you, I will lose them.” 

And now I cry in the middle of the night   
For the same damn thing 

Because of you   
I never stray too far from the sidewalk   
Because of you   
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt   
Because of you   
I try my hardest just to forget everything   
Because of you   
I don't know how to let anyone else in 

“Soon, I will die; and when I do and the Master comes for you, just remember that I was ashamed of my life because of you. I lived an empty life, because of you. I die in fear, fear that I am unlovable. Because of you. ” 

Because of you   
Because of you 

“Get out of my office before I kill you. You are nothing more to me than a leftover of precious memories, and an easily eradicated one. Get out of my Castle, get out of my life. Do not speak to me or the Cullens ever again, or I will strike you down. Go.” 

Aphroditus went. 

Page Break

Daughters 

From where he stood on the top step of the unmoving staircase, venom-tears pooled in Carlisle’s eyes. 

So fathers, be good to your daughters   
Daughters will love like you do   
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers   
So mothers be good to your daughters, too 

Page Break

Dirty Little Secret/Everybody’s Fool 

When Bella finally returned to the gala, there was no trace of her conversation with either Carlisle or Aphroditus on her face. She smiled, and schmoozed, and shot Edward a reassuring smile. 

Slowly, the crowd warmed to the Cullens as Bella worked a subtler form of enchantment over them. They worshipped her, much more subtly than the men in Miami, but drooling desire all the same. 

But something was wrong. Edward knew it, it rang in his brain in a way he just couldn’t explain. There was something ever-so slightly off about his lover, and his father had yet to re-appear. Still, he maintained his smile. He and his family were very skilled at the art of subtle communication while deceiving everyone around them, and before the lavish gala was over, he knew the rest of his family saw it too. 

Jasper, for once, was no help. He had pulled Edward aside after a stiff ballroom dance that sparked with subtle magic. “I can’t feel anything off of her, Edward. I don’t understand, she must be blocking me somehow. It’s like she’s just not there.” 

When Carlisle had finally returned to the gala, only a few minutes from the ending ceremonies, Edward saw Jasper’s eyebrows fly up. His father was heart-broken, protective, possessive, and absolutely furious. He hid it well, and no Fae even blinked at his re-appearance; but Carlisle could not shield himself from Jasper’s abilities. 

Let me know that I've done wrong   
When I've known this all along   
I go around a time or two   
Just to waste my time with you 

The gala ended without much fanfare; Bella led her friends and family into the kitchens so she could grab a snack for her and the others of their group who ate human food. “Jeez, what a night.” She threw the rose crown that had adorned her hair to the long table and went towards the kitchen; Esme shooed her back to her seat with a glare. 

In the next moment, Bella was locked in the steel cage of Edward’s grasp as the dining hall exploded into a sudden tornado, sweeping them to the floor to avoid the flying debris. 

Tell me all that you've thrown away   
Find out games you don't wanna play   
You are the only one that needs to know 

I'll keep you my dirty little secret   
(Dirty little secret)   
Don't tell anyone, you’re just another regret   
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)   
My dirty little secret, who has to know 

“Oh, hell no.” Bella shoved Edward from her and shimmered into her battle dress. Aphroditus’ hair was wilder than ever in the sudden windstorm, his eyes glowing a bright silver. The ground began to shake, but Bella stilled it with a wave of her hand. “Didn’t I warn you to leave?” 

“I won’t go. I won’t let you ruin me. You’re a monster, unnatural from birth. The two recessives have no business expressing at the same time. I had to do what I did. You have to forgive me.” 

“The hell I do.” 

When we live such fragile lives,   
It's the best way we survive.   
I go around a time or two   
Just to waste my time with you 

Tell me all that you've thrown away   
Find out games you don't wanna play   
You are the only one that needs to know 

I'll keep you my dirty little secret   
(Dirty little secret)   
Don't tell anyone, you’re just another regret   
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)   
My dirty little secret 

They were frozen; though Emmett was taking halting, slow steps forward; a confused Jasper was snarling low and long. 

Who has to know?   
The way she feels inside (inside)?   
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)   
These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie)   
And all I've tried to hide   
It's eating me apart   
Trace this life out 

I'll keep you my dirty little secret   
(Dirty little secret)   
Don't tell anyone, or you'll be just another regret   
(Just another regret) 

Cracks opened as the ground shook, and stopped, and shook again. The wind had to be at least 70 mph now, and Kaedra, Marcos, and an utterly shocked Jo were clinging to tables to keep their balance. 

Suddenly, everything stopped. The wind, the song, the shouted words filled with anger and fear. The ground stilled, and the room got colder. Bella’s eyes were black holes, her voice deadly and slow. 

Perfect by nature   
Icons of self-indulgence   
Just what we all need   
More lies about a world that 

Edward could do nothing but listen. And he listened very closely to Bella’s song, growing angrier with every word. His whole family payed close attention, the words ringing in their minds almost like they did in every Fae’s. 

Never was and never will be   
Have you no shame don't you see me   
You know you've got everybody fooled 

Look here he comes now   
Bow down and stare in wonder   
Oh how we love you   
No flaws when you're pretending   
But now I know he 

Bella had Aphroditus pinned to the wall with a concentrated blast of wind, stalking seductively towards him. 

Never was and never will be   
You don't know how you've betrayed me   
And somehow you've got everybody fooled 

When she reached him, she revealed his entire aura to the room, a rusted, tarnished silver glow around Aphroditus’ body. She snarled in his face as she waved her hand over his eyes. 

Without the mask where will you hide   
Can't find yourself lost in your lie 

I know the truth now   
I know who you are   
And I don't love you anymore 

Never was and never will be   
You don't know how you've betrayed me   
And somehow you have everybody fooled 

Bella threw Aphroditus across the room. Edward had been wrapped up in the intense magick around him, his focus momentarily on Bella completely. So he didn’t even see his father move, until Carlisle already had his hands around Aphroditus’ neck. 

It never was and never will be   
You're not real and you can't save me   
Somehow now you're everybody's fool 

The sound of Aphroditus’ neck bones snapping echoed in the dining hall. 

The white-haired man who had so betrayed his daughter and Queen fell to the floor, dead before he even hit the ground. 

Page Break

Patience 

Bella immediately switched her attention to Carlisle, sadness sweeping away her fury. “Oh. Oh, Carlisle. Ever the healer, never the healed.” 

Here we are, here we are, yeah   
This one right here is for the people 

Edward’s father was shaking, his hands still outstretched where they had been wrapped around Aphroditus’ neck. Bella took Carlisle’s hands, rubbing her thumb across the back of them, and tucked his father’s head into her neck , rocking him gently as her voice rang clearly over the room. A crowd had gathered at the entrance to the dining hall, Fae in sleepwear and ballgowns alike crowding into the room before stopping like they had hit an invisible wall. 

Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kiye   
Ni kera mogo   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kagni (Hey, yo, D, let's go all the way in on this one)   
Ni kera mogo 

Bella pulled Carlisle away from the junction of her head and neck, and an echo shimmered into existence between him and Aphroditus’ body; a young Bella stood in the dining hall, her face covered in bruises and her form littered with bleeding lacerations, dressed only in a dirty and stained t-shirt that was ripped and too large for her which hung down to almost her knees. Jo, Kaedra, and Marcos gasped softly; what the binding had hidden was revealed. The young girl’s appearance was heart-shattering, and the echo opened her mouth to address the crowd: 

Some of the smartest dummies can't read the language of Egyptian mummies   
Plant a flag on the moon and can't find food for the starving tummies   
Pay no mind to the youths 'cause it's not like the future depends on it   
But save the animals in the zoo 'cause the chimpanzee them make big money   
This is how the media pillages, on TV the picture is savages in villages   
And the scientist still can't explain the pyramids   
Evangelists making a living on the videos of ribs of the little kids   
Stereotyping the image of the images and this is what the image is   
You buy khaki pants and all of a sudden you say a Indiana Jones   
And thief out gold and thief out the scrolls and even the buried bones 

Bella –the real one-, stepped out to face the crowd, picking up the verse and bringing the Fae society’s sins to light. 

Some of the worst paparazzi's I've ever seen and I ever known   
Put the worst on display so the world can see and that's all they will ever show   
So the ones in the West will never move east and feel they could be at home   
Get tricked by the Beast but where them gon' flee when the monster is fully grown?   
Bloodline lineage where them can't defeat and them could never clone   
My spiritual DNA that print in my soul and I will forever own, Lord 

She turned and looked at the echo of herself, both of them reaching towards one another until their fingertips barely brushed. 

Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte (yeah, that's patience, it's what the old folks told me)   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kiye (can you get with that?)   
Ni kera mogo   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte (discoverin' the world before this world, a world buried in time)   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kagni (uncovered with rhymes, it gets no realer)   
Ni kera mogo 

Then they both turned to Carlisle where he knelt on the floor. 

“Healer, heal thyself.” Older Bella said, “Listen. Understand.” 

We born not knowing, are we born knowing all?   
We growing wiser, are we just growing tall? 

She reached for Carlisle, pulling him to his feet and caressing his face, blue-healing magic began to glow around all three of them. 

Can you read thoughts? Can you read palms?   
Can you predict the future? Can you see storms coming? 

Bella grinned wryly at Carlilse, a quirk of her mouth that did not break the serious tone of the song. 

The Earth was flat, if you went too far, you would fall off   
Now the Earth is round, if the shape change again, everybody would start laugh   
The average man can't prove of most of the things that he chooses to speak of   
And still won't research and find out the root of the truth that you seek of 

Scholars teach in universities and claim that they're smart and cunning   
Tell them find a cure when we sneeze and that's when their nose start running   
And the rich get stitched up when them get cut 

Her eyes flashed golden, and she turned from Carlisle, releasing his face and backing away to address Jo and the crowd. 

Wanna heal them broken bones in the bush with the wet mud?   
Can you read signs? Can you read stars? 

Bella stretched out her hand, and the ceiling dissolved away to reveal a bright and full moon, a clear and cloudless night gleaming with stars. 

Can you make peace? Can you fight war?   
Can you milk cows even though you drive cars?   
Can you survive against all odds now? 

When she lowered her hands, she formed them into fists, standing in her defensive boxer’s pose; both fists up to protect her face, elbows together; before she struck out at a menacing shadow that had darkened the hall with its appearance, dissolving the echo away. 

Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte (it's crazy)   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kiye (when you feed people the truth, you don't know how they gon' react)   
Ni kera mogo   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte (you scared of wrong-doers, people that's just ignorant)   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kagni (and scared of the truth, we patient for now)   
Ni kera mogo 

She turned back to his father, taking Carlisle’s hand once more as the bruised, younger version of herself tugged on his father’s pant-leg, motioning to be lifted up into Carlisle’s arms. 

Who wrote the Bible? Who wrote the Qur'an, and was it a lightning storm   
That gave birth to the Earth and then dinosaurs were born?   
Who made up words? Who made up numbers, and what kind of spell is mankind under?   
Everything on the planet we preserve and can it, microwaved it, and try it   
No matter what we'll survive it 

The girl was slightly too tall to be comfortable in Carlisle’s embrace, but she clung to him anyway, now resting her thin face in his shoulder, apparently quite comfortable. Her bruises began to fade. 

What's hu-? What's -man? What's human?   
Anything along the land we consumin', eatin', deletin', ruin   
Tryin' to get paper, gotta have land, gotta have acres   
So I can sit back like Jack Nicholson, watch niggas play the game like the Lakers 

The real Bella nodded at the image of Carlisle holding the younger-Bella as though she approved, before turning back to the gathered crowd. 

In a world full of fifty-two fakers, Gypsies, seances, mystical prayers   
You superstitious, throw salt over your shoulders, make a wish for the day 'cause   
Like somebody got a doll of me, stickin' needles in my arteries, but I can't feel it   
Sometimes it's like, "pardon me, but I got a real big spirit" 

Her pose changed, becoming determined and strong, planting her feet between her people and her friends. 

I'm fearless, I'm fearless, don't you try and grab hold of my soul   
It's like a military soldier since seven years old   
I held real dead bodies in my arms, felt they body turn cold, oh   
Why we born in the first place ff this is how we gotta go? Damn 

Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte (yeah)   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kiye (yeah, yeah, what)   
Ni kera mogo   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, yonkonte (this goes to all the wisdom and knowledge seekers of the world)   
Sabali, Sabali, Sabali, kagni (Sabali, patience, yeah)   
Ni kera mogo 

Patience, Patience, Patience, it's what the world is about. Patience, Patience, Patience, let's all join souls. 

The echo of the younger Bella faded away with a shy smile, pushing herself away from Carlisle with a hand over his heart and waving at Edward as she dissolved away. Where her hand had rested on Carlisle’s chest, there was now a silver chain with turquoise beads hanging from his father’s neck. Isabella reached for it, meeting Carlisle’s eyes as she removed it from where it lay. 

Edward heard the murmurs of the crowd. “The water’s blessing.” “He is a healer.” “Sabali is a right of the Fae, the Cullens are not Fae, yet.” “The water’s blessing, the healer of all wounds. My God, did you see? It just shimmered into existence around his neck. It chose him. ” “It chose her.” 

Bella turned to Edward, smiling softly. She was a queen; she was an angel. She was Fae.


	15. Past

Another long chapter. Almost ten thousand words, though half of that is music, I’m sure. I'm suffering a bit of writer’s block with how I want to do this, so I hope it isn’t too weird. Just to be clear: 

Bella or echo-Bella = the Bella in the echoes 

Bella or his Bella = present day Bella, who is narrating the songs/story. 

This is dripping in nostalgia for Bella’s golden childhood. Its total fluff. The devastating stuff comes next chapter. 

I’m trying to cover Bella’s ENTIRE backstory in two chapters. Both chapters are entirely from Edward’s POV as he takes in the story Bella is showing him and his family. 

This chapter is all about the wonder of Bella’s first lovers (just to be clear: WARNING for polyamory and underage lovin’ (PG-13 style)), so it's fairly devastating for Edward, but don’t worry, she loves him more! 

PLEASE tell me this makes a lick of sense. Trying to tell a story within a story is complicated stuff. 

READ AND REVIEW! 

This chapter is dedicated to Siobahn Whitlock, who is sticking with me through all this craziness, and is almost as passionate about this story as me. I adore your face. 

LINKS- 

Deviantart: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73274003/breakdown-chapter-14-past 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WDGRdvNJnFETQgGp1fKMSC8 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4D2K8XJsy26NQuxq0Ftqdd?si=1AEtoNbVT1q73bxHUzqnRw 

AO3: 

Fanfiction: 

Page Break

This Is How We Do 

The next morning dawned bright and clear. 

There was remarkably little backlash from Carlisle's public murder of Aphroditus, at least among the Fae. Apparently, the fact that Aphroditus’ death had ended the binding on Bella’s tongue meant that his death qualified for mercy under the Fae law of Sabali, which exempted healers from punishment for wounds inflicted on a third party , as long as the wounds were inflicted in order to heal or defend a Fae citizen in their care. Bella had shrugged when Carlisle asked her about it. “I have never heard of a more clear-cut example of Sabali. Aphroditus was causing harm to me with the binding. The only way it could be broken, without his consent, was through his death. He made his choice. You killed him, motivated by the continued pain he was causing to me. It’s Sabali if I have ever seen it. The fact that your line has not been acknowledged as Fae yet is a technicality.” 

Esme and Carlisle were leaning heavily on their children, each of them devastated in their own way by the blood on Carlisle's hands. Carlisle did not quite regret his actions, though he did regret his loss of control and that his actions were necessary. Jasper had spoken to him about it, Edward knew. Esme was trying to support her husband, but didn’t quite know how, and was so intensely grateful to Bella, Emmett had joked she might start strewing Bella’s way with flowers as the Fae did. 

Part of the reason his father was so at peace with his actions was because of the radical change in Bella. Edward’s love was happy and greeted the sunny morning exuberantly. When she opened her eyes to face the day, music had begun to play immediately, and the stewards who brought their breakfast smiled at their Queen’s obvious relief and joy. 

Bella had eaten ravenously at breakfast, and when Jo had done his daily examination of Bella’s reiki, he had nodded proudly in Carlisle’s direction. “I have never seen your aura so clear, Isabella. Please continue to be cautious with yourself. The knots in your reiki are not gone, just smaller. I am glad you are feeling better.” Kaedra swept in, Lizzie close behind, and announced that there would be a gathering of all Fae in the Arena that night, so that Bella could share her side of the story now that the binding was gone. 

“No. Open the throne room. It is suitable.” Kaedra gave Bella a long stare, but nodded, and Lizzie pulled an obviously enchanted book from her satchel. Bella kissed her fingertips and touched them to a blank sheet of paper, golden magick flaring where her fingers touched the page. 

Bella would not be cowed by this opportunity to share her story. She refused to see this development as anything but a wonderful gift. She finally had the ability to share her burden with her vampires, her love, and her people. It was something she never thought she would get to have. There was nothing to do but speak the truth and await her precious peoples’ judgement. Though, if she was honest, she was just a little scared of Edward’s reaction. 

Edward knew this, too. He could feel her nervousness through Jasper’s gift and pulled her aside to remind her he loved her no matter what. He followed Bella exclusively that day, watching as Bella filled out her duties with poise and joy; he often pulled her aside for sweet kisses that made Bella blush, and his head spin. Soon enough, he had to leave his love and head to join the crowd of Fae at the entrance to the throne room.  
Page Break

Question Existing 

The throne room in the basement of the Castle was a sacred space. It remained locked away from casual use, and Edward and the Cullens were not the only ones who had never seen its interior. All that could be seen of the grand open-air balcony from Camp proper were the three massive and intimidating thrones that stood at one end of the large hall and the wide marble pillars that supported the roof. 

When the excited crowd was led into the throne room at last, Edward immediately noticed the inlaid image on the marble floor. It was impossibly shining stained-glass forming the abstractly colored impression of each of the five elements. Earth was a rich emerald green; like Alice’s dress for the gala, and in the pattern of leaves, whereas water was curling ocean waves in a royal blue. Air was a much lighter blue and expressed by waving lines like wind. Spirit had rich purples and navy in a swirling, starry galaxy pattern that made Edward dizzy if he looked at it too long, and fire burned brightly with lines of yellow, orange, and red that were made even more vivid by the soft light of magic that shimmered up like heat waves. Each of the elements was contained within a huge white marble pentagram outlined in the floor, with each element connecting two points of the star and the circle containing the outside edge of each expression. 

To the left stood the slightly elevated stage where the three thrones sat, and huge pillars supported the long hall opposite the entrance, on the other side of the gleaming symbol. To his right, on the south end of the hall, was an open space filled with white stone benches wrapped in soft vines and moss; the staircase to the top row of benches was a gleaming waterfall. 

Hushed whispers echoed around him as Edward removed his shoes, a thousand Fae scrambling to do the same. A child rushed forward into the room, laughing as her brother chased her. Rosalie made a grab for her, but she was quick and nimble, rushing out into the center of the powerful emblem in the floor. Edward held his breath, but the massive pentagram did nothing but release a cloud of shining multi-colored butterflies that the little girl and her brother eagerly tried to catch. The tension in the room broke, and the Fae chatters and whispers grew into a roar. Edward and his family sat down on the bench furthest from the entrance on the first row, with Kaedra and Marcos on a bench of their own across from them. Fae streamed to their seats, and by the time everyone was seated the sun had faded to a dim glow on the horizon. 

Edward used the time to examine the three thrones at the north end of the room up close. The thrones were exactly equal, in a row at the middle of the stage, facing the benches and the pentagram on the floor. The one in the middle was a golden seat, taller and leaner than the other two. The two on the ends were made of rich wood; all three were too intricate to have been formed by anything other than magic. 

To the far west of the room was a wide mahogany throne with short dragon-shaped pillars on either side; fire burned in dishes on top of the two pillars. The emblem at the top was round, with an image of a winged scarab in the middle. Edward understood from the whispers that this was the symbol of the Salem line. 

To the far east was a winged throne, in rich cherry and oak. Underneath the legs of the throne was a narrow creek. The curved arms of this throne were distinctly feminine, and it was slightly wider than the other two because of its emblem, a massive set of wings in the shape of a Pheonix rising. A small seal was inlaid in the center of the wings: a crescent moon rising over a simplified horizon line. The Smith crest, the Fae around him whispered, pointing and craning their heads to get a better look. 

The golden throne in the center captured most of Edward’s attention. It was simpler than the other two, and distinctly Bella’s style. It was round, with no emblem but instead two panels of metal attached to the seat that made wide crescent shapes. Stamped at the head of the throne was a complicated Celtic knot, the symbol of the Swan bloodline. Bella’s throne. The words rang oddly, even in his head. 

When Bella flashed to the center of the room, standing in the center of the star on the floor, moss grew to cover the seat of the golden throne, and the magic of the pentagram flared brightly. A hush thickened the air. Bella’s eyes were consumed with glittering gold. 

Take off my shirt   
Loosen the buttons and undo my skirt   
Stare at myself in the mirror   
Pick me apart piece by piece   
Sorrow decrease   
Pressure release, I put in work   
Did more than called upon, more than deserved   
When it was over, did I wind up hurt? (Yes)   
But it taught me before a decision ask this question first 

She was once again in the plain white gown from before, blood spattering the hem. The long sleeves of the cotton gown were gone, and instead a simple halter held the dress around Bella’s neck, the long skirt covering her plain bare feet and scars exposed for all to see. She was completely unembellished, her hair braided simply to keep it away from her face. The image she presented was striking, one Edward knew he would never forget. 

Who am I living for?   
Is this my limit?   
Can I endure some more?   
Chances I'm given, question existing   
Who am I living for?   
Is this my limit?   
Can I endure some more?   
Chances I'm given, question existing 

The song was slow, bitter and hateful, honest and heart-wrenching. Bella confirmed her will to live for her people. 

Take off my coat   
Show them that under here   
I'm just like you, do the mistakes   
I may make me a fool or a human with flaws   
Admit that I'm lost   
Round of applause   
Take the abuse   
Sometimes it feels like they want me to lose   
It's entertainment is that an excuse? (No)   
But the question that lingers whether "win or lose" is 

The flaws and pain exposed as she sang only made her more beautiful, her humaneness making her all the more otherworldly. 

Who am I living for?   
Is this my limit?   
Can I endure some more?   
Chances I'm given, question existing   
Who am I living for?   
Is this my limit?   
Can I endure some more?   
Chances I'm given, question existing 

She met Edward’s eyes, but her hands motioned behind her, to the two wooden thrones. 

Who am I living for?   
Is this my limit?   
Can I endure some more?   
Chances I'm given, question existing   
Who am I living for?   
Is this my limit?   
Can I endure some more?   
Chances I'm given, question existing 

The song faded, and Bella’s voice was velvet-soft, not raised or projected at all. “Cullen-line. Stand. Come here.” 

Edward and the other Cullens stood, and Bella led each of them to a spot around the outer boundary of the circle that contained the elements. Edward remembered the chairs on the balcony where Bella had explained her intention to make them a part of her people. They faced her where she stood in the center of the circle, and where Edward directly faced her, his back was to the Fae crowded on the benches. He could see nothing but Bella and his family. 

When Bella spoke, she was telling a story. A fairytale, Edward thought to himself. She began slowly, speaking softly and reflectively; musing into the silent, expectant space with her flooded golden gaze on him. 

“Among the Fae, there are three royal bloodlines, two of which are recessive. Salem, Swan, and Smith have the sacred duty to serve their people as rulers; they are trained for this purpose from the time they express their magic and are trained at the School. The Smith and Swan lines express magic only every now and then, and when they do, their claim to the throne is stronger than that of the Salem line. Never before have the two recessive lines expressed magic within the same generation. Well, until I was born. 

Three royal heirs were born, destined to compete for the right to rule. Only, well, the royal three were never very good at following the rules. Adeline Smith, Fiore Salem, Isabella Swan. This is where the story begins.” Echoes made of shadows and shimmers gleamed in bursts of light around the throne room like actors on a stage. Edward swallowed. He would learn all he did not know about his lover, tonight. He hoped he could bear it. 

Page Break

Lucky 

The scene flashed around them on the floor, and somehow Edward could see all of it no matter how he moved his head, whether he opened or closed his eyes. Bella stood in the middle of the star on the floor, narrator and director of the play coming to life around her. 

“This is a story about a girl named Bella.” 

A younger Bella, probably about thirteen years old, came to life in the images, sleeping soundly on a massive bed in a gilded room. 

Early morning, she wakes up   
Knock, knock, knock on the door   
It's time for make-up, perfect smile   
It's you they're all waiting for 

The unseen Fae behind Edward sang the repetitive chorus from the benches, obviously familiar with this part of the story; Edward barely heard them, his attention focused on the little girl with the lonely, doe-brown eyes. 

They go   
Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl?   
And they say 

She's so lucky, she's a star   
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking   
If there's nothing missing in my life   
Then why do these tears come at night? 

Flashes of the day to day routine of the younger Bella materialized in a meaningless parade of long parties and flashes of classes, and the young echo’s eyes grew more and more alone, Bella cut off by the loneliness that expressed through the song. 

Lost in an image, in a dream   
But there's no one there to wake her up   
And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning   
But tell me what happens when it stops? 

Bella threw out her hands, stopping the story in its tracks for a second as the Fae crowd sang, exposing the image of the little girl’s lonely eyes for all to see. 

She's so lucky, she's a star   
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking   
If there's nothing missing in my life   
Then why do these tears come at night? 

Isn't she lovely, this Destiny’s girl?   
She is so lucky, but why does she cry?   
If there is nothing missing in her life   
Why do tears come at night? 

The echo-Bella threw herself on the bed in her room, tears streaming silently down her young face. She curled up in a hopeless ball, falling asleep with no one to shield her from the emptiness of the room where she slept. 

She's so lucky, she's a star   
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking   
If there's nothing missing in my life   
Then why do these tears come at night? 

Bella spoke the next verse, walking up to the edge of the bed where her younger self lay, petting the echo’s hair and drawing up the covers to keep her warm. 

She's so lucky   
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking   
If there's nothing missing in my life   
Then why do these tears come at night? 

Bella turned to the Cullens, to Edward, as the music faded and changed, transitioning smoothly to the next chapter with the feel of a page turning. “’Of course, and then I met Addy.” 

Page Break

Enchanted 

The scene was another meaningless party, and Edward somehow hated the excessively gilded ballroom where young-Bella stood, alone with her handlers at her side. He spied Josephat in the crowd, strange looking with his rough beard and in a tux. Bella was in the middle of welcoming the individual bloodline leaders, though her smile was fixed and stiff. 

There I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles   
Same old tired, lonely place   
Walls of insincerity   
Shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when I saw your face   
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you 

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw a flash of the hem of a floaty red dress, and young Bella saw it too, following it with her head as it disappeared around a pillar. 

Your eyes whispered "have we met?"   
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me   
The playful conversation starts   
Counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy   
And it was enchanting to meet you   
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you 

A stiff dance started, and young-Bella approached the red-haired girl in the extravagant red dress, looking at her curiously before embracing the girl in a distant waltz-hold. Adeline, it had to be. As the echo of the dance played on, Adeline and Bella stepped closer and closer to one another, genuine pleasure on each of the pre-teen's faces as they conversed softly. Edward couldn’t help but recall his first conversation with Bella, so different and yet, the same. 

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go   
I'm wonder struck, blushing all the way home   
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew   
I was enchanted to meet you 

The echoed dance came to an end, and the girls reluctantly let their arms fall, standing across from each other silently for a moment before one of Bella’s handlers called to her, motioning her away from Adeline and towards Josephat’s stiff form. A flash of light, and they were in young-Bella's bedroom again, in the wee hours of the morning, the moon already setting in the window. Bella was still dressed in the modest golden gown she had worn to the party, and the dress gleamed in the moonlight as his young-love paced. 

The lingering question kept me up   
Two a.m., who do you love?   
I wonder till I'm wide awake   
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door   
I'd open up and you would say, hey   
It was enchanting to meet you   
All I know is I was, enchanted to meet you 

After a few moments, young-Bella threw up her hands, exasperated by her silent thoughts. She grabbed a violin case from the floor next to the door, headed down a gilded hallway towards the music rooms. 

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go   
I'm wonder struck, blushing all the way home   
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew   
This night is flawless, don't you let it go 

The music room was abandoned, and Bella went straight to the private practice rooms at the back of the hall. She played her violin with passion, eyes closed and swaying to some unheard melody. 

I'm wonder struck, dancing around all alone   
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew   
I was enchanted to meet you 

Suddenly, Bella opened her eyes, pausing in her song for a moment as isolated piano notes rang into her ears in a soft tune from the practice room adjacent to hers. Bella looked annoyed for half a second, but then seemed to stop herself, listening to the still unheard melody of the piano. She took up her bow, and began to accompany the piece, more passion in her face than before. 

This is me praying that this was the very first page   
Not where the story line ends   
My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again   
These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon   
I was enchanted to meet you 

Her bow got faster and faster, her eyes roving behind closed lids until a golden glow consumed the young-girl's eyes and she threw down the instrument, rushing for the door. When she threw it open, she caught a glimpse of red hair disappearing out the door, a slim feminine figure exiting the concert hall. 

She took a step towards the door, but a handler popped up from nowhere, grabbing Bella’s arm and scolding her as the sun rose through the window of the music hall. Her handler led her in the opposite direction than the figure had gone, and Bella craned her head behind her, trying to see Adeline again. The hallway behind her was empty. 

Please don't be in love with someone else   
Please don't have somebody waiting on you 

Bella’s handlers dressed her quickly, and escorted her to a grand council chamber, different from the one in the Castle, even more imposing and cold. Groups of nobles stood in small groups in the room, obviously awaiting an event of some kind. 

Please don't be in love with someone else   
Please don't have somebody waiting on you 

As the ceremony began, Bella approached the head of the council chamber, groups of people hiding whoever she was here to meet. 

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go   
I'm wonder struck, blushing all the way home   
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew   
This night is flawless, don't you let it go   
I'm wonder struck, dancing around all alone   
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew   
I was enchanted to meet you 

When the nobles moved away, there: in a shimmering silver ballgown, was the red-haired girl from the dance and the music hall. Edward felt projected excitement, anticipation, and wonder fly through him. The two girls approached each other more quickly than their handlers meant for them to, and Bella paused before she reached to caress the girl’s freckled face. Bella pulled Adeline in for a scorching first kiss, crushing her own body to the slim girl in the silver dress as ghostly nobles panicked around them, quickly fading from view. 

Please don't be in love with someone else   
Please don't have somebody waiting on you 

After a moment, the scene dissolved, and Bella met Edward’s eyes, begging for something. The tense silence was broken by Emmett’s quiet chortle. “Well damn, Bella, that was fast.” Trust his irreverent brother to break the moment. The crowd behind Edward was dead silent. Bella’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “You think that was fast, Emmett? Twenty-four hours before first sight turned into first kiss is pretty fast, but it took less than five minutes for two to become three. “ Bella swept her arm widely, revealing a new scene shimmering into existence on the floor between where she stood and the three thrones, ever in the background. 

Page Break

3 

The new scene was darkened dance floor, vivid in hedonistic purple light. The room was crowded, and echo-Bella and Adeline were maybe a few months older, but still the youngest in the room. Echo-Bella took a shot and turned to Adeline, swinging her into a dance as the music started with a moan. 

One, two, three   
Not only you and me   
Got one eighty degrees   
And I'm caught in between   
Countin'   
One, two, three   
Peter, Paul and Mary   
Gettin' down with 3P   
Everybody loves me   
Oh 

The image sped through the two girls dancing wildly, teasing each other by pulling in random partners who they would grind against, eyes on one another. Slowly, Edward began to be aware of a predatory teenager stalking the edges of the crowd, watching the two girls dance. 

Babe, pick a night   
To come out and play   
If it's alright   
What do you say? 

Merrier the more   
Triple fun that way   
Twister on the floor   
What do you say? 

Adeline turned to the slender, dark-haired young man and motioned for him to join her on the dance floor. Young-Bella quickly grew jealous of the man dancing with her lover and joined them, sandwiching the boy in the middle and grinding sexually, her eyes on Adeline. 

Are you in   
Livin' in sin is the new thing (yeah)   
Are, you in   
I am countin' 

One, two, three   
Not only you and me   
Got one eighty degrees   
And I'm caught in between   
Countin'   
One, two, three   
Peter, Paul and Mary   
Gettin' down with 3P   
Everybody loves me   
Oh 

The boy turned and nuzzled into Bella’s neck, bending his slightly taller form to brush his face against her cheek. Echo-Bella let out a surprised moan, turning her startled attention to the boy. Fiore. 

One, two, three   
Not only you and me   
Got one eighty degrees   
And I'm caught in between   
Countin'   
One, two, three   
Peter, Paul and Mary   
Gettin' down with 3P   
Everybody loves me   
Oh 

It was Adeline’s turn to be jealous, though she too moaned when the boy slid a hand up her leg and gripped her behind, his front still facing Bella. 

Three is a charm   
Two is not the same   
I don't see the harm   
So are you game? 

Lets' make a team   
Make 'em say my name   
Lovin' the extreme   
Now are you game? 

The three young teens backed away from one another for just a moment, each dancing on their own. 

Are, you in   
Livin' in sin is the new thing   
Are, you in   
I am countin' 

One, two, three   
Not only you and me   
Got one eighty degrees   
And I'm caught in between   
Countin'   
One, two, three   
Peter, Paul and Mary   
Gettin' down with 3P   
Everybody loves me 

They eyed one another, before Bella turned to Adeline and extended a hand, an invitation to dance with her. 

What we do is innocent   
Just for fun and nothin' meant   
If you don't like the company   
Let's just do it you and me 

The two girls tangled their bodies together, still moving in the rhythm of the pounding bass and lost in each other’s eyes. Then, as one person and perfectly in sync, they each extended one of their small, feminine hands, beckoning Fiore to join their dance once more. 

You and me   
Or three   
On the floor! 

The image of the three teens slowed, and Edward couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the sexual, wild image was, though he felt his stone heart cracking inside his chest as the image sped again, following the three teenagers through the wild party. 

One, two, three   
Not only you and me   
Got one eighty degrees   
And I'm caught in between   
Countin'   
One, two, three   
Peter, Paul and Mary   
Gettin' down with 3P   
Everybody loves me   
Oh 

With one last sexual moan, the image dissolved away. Bella wouldn’t look at him, instead meeting Alice’s understanding eyes a few feet from him as, in the images, day broke over the horizon and tracked across the sky unnaturally quickly, days passing in seconds with flashes of brown and green eyes and the sound of mischievous laughter. A new song began, and Edward wasn’t sure he could withstand this story. Not when he knew how the romantic tale would end. 

Page Break

Dancing with our Hands Tied 

The background for this song was a black void, a lack of image; except for the passing of the sun in the sky. Bella, Adeline, and Fiore were outlined in sunlight, and all three echoes moved as though in a dream, leaving ghostly trails of light behind them as their faces grew older, their forms more adult. Edward counted almost a year’s worth of sunrises and sunsets. The song was nostalgic and foreboding, reminding the Fae in the audience that there was no happy ending here. Adeline and Echo-Bella took a waltz hold in the voided dream-memory. 

I, I loved you in secret   
First sight, yeah, we love without reason   
Oh, fifteen years old   
Oh, how were you to know, and   
My, my love had been frozen   
Deep blue, but you painted me golden   
Oh, and you held me close   
Oh, how was I to know that 

Fiore danced with them now, two sets of hands in the back pocket of Bella’s jeans. 

I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets   
Picture of your faces in an invisible locket   
You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it   
I had a bad feeling 

Echo-Bella met his eyes for just a moment, then turned to Fiore; Adeline taking position at the echo’s back as the crowd behind Edward began to whisper, a low hum that filled the room. 

And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis   
People started talking, putting us through our paces   
I knew there was no one in the world who could take it   
I had a bad feeling 

The three young lovers danced passionately, equally. Adeline and Fiore and Bella twirled, switching holds repeatedly in new combinations: Bella and Adeline, Bella and Fiore, Fiore and Adeline, over and over again, dancing in the darkness. 

But we were dancing   
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied   
Yeah, we were dancing   
Like it was the first time, first time   
Yeah, we were dancing   
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied   
Yeah, we were dancing   
And I had a bad feeling   
But we were dancing 

The three dancers joined hands, an unbreakable circle as echo-Bella sang. Flashes of fights now, training together, facing and defeating enemies that never stepped into view. Fiore’s hands bringing Bella’s fists in front of her face, Adeline casting a silver spell. 

I, I loved you in spite of   
Deep fears that the world would divide us   
So, baby, can we dance   
Oh, through an avalanche?   
And say, say that we got it   
I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted   
Oh, 'cause it's gravity   
Oh, keeping you with me 

I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets   
Picture of your face in an invisible locket   
You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it   
I had a bad feeling 

Now they danced together again, the circle forming, shrinking close to one another and expanding again, and always the figures kept their hands clasped. 

But we were dancing   
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied   
Yeah, we were dancing   
Like it was the first time, first time   
Yeah, we were dancing   
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied   
Yeah, we were dancing   
(Ooh, we had our hands tied)   
And I had a bad feeling   
But we were dancing 

Bella -the real one- was in front of him, finally meeting his eyes as though singing directly to him. 

I'd kiss you as the lights went out   
Swaying as the room burned down   
I'd hold you as the water rushes in 

When his Bella turned to the image again, her face was regretful, filled with grief. 

If I could dance with you again   
I'd kiss you as the lights went out   
Swaying as the room burned down   
I'd hold you as the water rushes in   
If I could dance with you again 

Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied   
Yeah, we were dancing   
Like it was the first time, first time   
Yeah, we were dancing   
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied   
Yeah, we were dancing   
And I had a bad feeling   
But we were dancing   
Hands tied, hands tied 

Page Break

Rumour Has It 

The lovers were building the Attic, carving out Castle and Camp in a flash of exceptional magick before an awestruck crowd. They paused in their construction of the room, sharing sweet kisses at the long table in the Attic’s half-finished kitchen. They were relaxed and laughing. 

Aphroditus was in the background of these flashes, shaking his head as trees sprouted in the floor of his office and turning to scold the royal three for their continuous mischief and pranks in a friendly, fatherly way. 

Fae in the crowd behind him sang the chorus of the song, remembering the rumors and scandal that showed in the images, Bella and Fiore purposely spread rumors and laughed about it with Adeline in the slowly-finishing Attic. They all must’ve been about fifteen by this point. 

The song ended suddenly, and muffled voices rang through the throne room from the echo, the Fae-crowd gone expectantly silent. Aphroditus explained something with a serious air about him, shock and worry painting the young echo’s faces as they learned the nature of the Choosing ceremony that would soon be arriving, their sixteenth birthdays looming in the near future. They all three fought with Aphroditus, Adeline and Fiore raising voices and demanding not to be separated, Bella calmly explaining that they didn’t care who the rightful ruler was, why couldn’t they just remain as they were? They agreed that they didn’t want new life-partners; they had chosen each other. 

Echo-Bella's passive, listening face cracked, and she exited the Attic quickly. Fiore and Adeline threw dirty looks at their mentor and followed her. 

Page Break

Tightrope 

Echo-Bella was balanced on a tightrope in the dojo where his Bella trained with Kaedra and Marcos; the space in the memory was gleaming and new. She had her hands in a boxer’s wrap and was dressed in nylon shorts and a modest light-pink blouse with a high neckline. Her eyes were closed as she focused on her body, meditating in order to maintain her balance. 

Fiore and Adeline entered the dojo from below, still in the same clothes the echoes had worn while fighting with Aphroditus. Echo-Bella opened her eyes and began to dance on the high-wire, a sweet ballet for her lovers to see. 

Some people long for a life that is simple and planned   
Tied with a ribbon   
Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land   
To follow what's written   
But I'd follow you to the great unknown   
Off to a world we call our own 

Adeline had climbed the ladder and stood on the platform before the wire, as Bella approached her girl-love, taking her hand and sweeping her into a double act far above the hardwood floor. 

Hand in my hand and we promised to never let go   
We're walking the tightrope   
High in the sky   
We can see the whole world down below   
We're walking the tightrope   
Never sure, never know how far we could fall 

The two girls smiled into each other’s eyes as they spun above the ground. They turned to Fiore on the ground below them. 

But it's all an adventure   
That comes with a breathtaking view   
Walking the tightrope 

As Adeline’s focus shifted, she swayed, beginning to fall off of the high wire; losing her balance would surely result in injury or worse. Bella swayed with her, caught her falling form by the hand and swung her back to the wire, compensating for Adeline’s over-balance in the other direction by sweeping the red-haired, green-eyed girl into a spin. 

With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh   
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh   
With you 

Fiore stepped from the platform to the wire with a shaky step, approaching Bella’s back where she faced Addy. She turned to face him, her hand still entangled with Adeline’s behind her, leading the girl to her boy-lover. 

Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between   
Desert and ocean   
You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream   
Always in motion   
So I risk it all just to be with you   
And I risk it all for this life we choose 

Hands entangled; the forms danced wildly on the high-line. Fiore began to fall, but Bella caught him as the music slowed and swelled behind him. The royal three began to float higher and higher, feet leaving the high-line to levitate in the air and spin around the rafters of the dojo. 

Hand in my hand and you promised to never let go   
We're walking the tightrope   
High in the sky   
We can see the whole world down below   
We're walking the tightrope   
Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall? 

Sudden devastation crossed echo-Bella's young face, and she lost her focus from where the group floated in the rafters, high above the hard floor. 

Fiore and Adeline arced in the air, flipping backwards from one another to drop below Bella’s falling form and together they swept her up until she regained her flight. 

Well, it's all an adventure   
That comes with a breathtaking view   
Walking the tightrope 

She was soaring above them in a flash of golden light under her skin, glowing for a moment alone; before she calmed and looked at her two lovers, floating gently with them back to the floor. 

Fae muttered behind Edward in the crowd as young-Bella expressed her air affinity. 

With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh   
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

She took them in an embrace, floating gently with them back to the floor, her dancers trusting her to support them completely. 

With you 

With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 

With you, ooh-ooh-ooh   
With you 

As they landed on the floor of the dojo, the dancers stood away from one another with a hand over each of their hearts, untangling their hands and stepping back. The scene faded. 

Page Break

Rewrite the Stars 

Bella looked to Edward, silently pausing in her tale to check his reaction. Edward wasn’t sure what was on his face, but he was surprised at his own emotions. 

He felt no jealousy, only a pervading heartbreak and grief at what his lover would lose, her first-love. He could acknowledge that the lovers on stage were beautiful together, and he was happy for them, happy at Bella’s happiness. He tried to remind himself that this story ended badly, but hope pervaded him; somehow -- he was rooting for the royal three to overcome; to get to be together. 

He didn’t understand his own thoughts, and had no mental space to focus on anyone else's. The song that rang in his head, from the echoes and the Fae in the crowd, was more than enough. He nodded slowly, thoughtfully; and Alice, beside him, squealed: caught up in the romance of the story. “So? What happens next? Be-lla!” 

His love smiled softly at his sister. “I was all prepared to give up, to do as I was told and endure the destiny laid out before me. But Fio and Addy were very convincing in their arguments.” 

Echoes flickered to life again, and the throne room seemed to take a deep inhale, releasing a breath into the shared space. 

You know I want you   
It's not a secret I try to hide   
I know you want me   
So don't keep saying our hands are tied 

Edward, his family, and the crowd behind them stiffened in shock at the male voice that rang through the room. Fiore was singing, approaching Bella in the Attic with his hands outstretched, as Addy watched from the balcony. 

You claim it's not in the cards   
Fate is pulling you miles away   
And out of reach from me   
But you're here in my heart   
So who can stop me if I decide   
That you're my destiny? 

Adeline, in a bright yellow dress, walked to Fiore’s side and joined him in his approach of Bella, who was sitting on the edge of the large bed in the main room of the Attic. Her sweet alto joined Fiore’s voice. 

What if we rewrite the stars?   
Say you were made to be mine   
Nothing could keep us apart   
You'd be the one I was meant to find 

Adeline’s sweet alto joined Fiore’s voice. 

It's up to you, and it's up to me   
No one can say what we get to be   
So why don't we rewrite the stars?   
Maybe the world could be ours   
Tonight 

Bella’s young voice was deeper than Addy’s as she too took up the verse, the other two pausing to hear her response to their plea. 

You think it's easy   
You think I don't want to run to you   
But there are mountains   
And there are doors that we can't walk through   
I know you're wondering why   
Because we're able to be   
Just you and me   
Within these walls   
But when we go outside   
You're going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all 

No one can rewrite the stars   
How can you say you'll be mine?   
Everything keeps us apart   
And I'm not the one you were meant to find   
It's not up to you   
It's not up to me   
When everyone tells us what we can be   
How can we rewrite the stars? 

Bella’s two slim lovers tackled her back onto the bed and she didn’t fight them, allowing them to pin her on the white bedspread. All three sang. 

Say that the world can be ours   
Tonight 

All I want is to fly with you   
All I want is to fall with you   
So just give me all of you 

It feels impossible (it's not impossible)   
Is it impossible? 

Say that it's possible 

Clothes were being shed desperately now, each lover rushing to undress the other two as they tumbled in the bed. 

How do we rewrite the stars?   
Say you were made to be mine?   
Nothing can keep us apart   
'Cause you are the one I was meant to find   
It's up to you   
And it's up to me   
No one can say what we get to be   
And why don't we rewrite the stars?   
Changing the world to be ours 

In the echo, it was the next morning. Bella sat on the edge of the bed, wrapped in only a sheet and glancing back at the forms on the bed. Her voice was soft, pitched so as not to wake them as she sang accapella, sudden loneliness back in her eyes. 

You know I want you   
It's not a secret I try to hide   
But I can't have you   
We're bound to break and my hands are tied 

The scene faded, Edward’s stone heart in the back of his throat. 

Page Break

Paris 

The echoes flashed by: and Fiore’s sixteenth birthday came and went. 

At a small after-party in the main room of the attic, Aphroditus patted his shoulder and handed him three airline tickets. “To my apartment in Paris. You should have some time together; the Choosing looms near. Growing up is difficult, indulge yourselves. We will worry about the ceremony when you return.” 

The images began to slow, each path of the sun across the sky a little slower: until the tired trio was curling up on the black bedspread of a large four-poster bed surrounded by bookshelves; they were silent as they entangled their legs under the covers with Fiore in the middle. He kissed each girls’ forehead, and they closed their eyes. 

Fiore awoke to a sudden thump in the open room, sure he had heard something. He extricated himself from Bella and Addy, careful to preserve their modesty and shield them from the cold as he got up. The moon was high in the dark sky. 

The room was pristine, everything untouched and the door locked. When Fiore turned from where he had checked the door to walk back to his lovers in the bed, he cursed, stubbing his toe on the book that had fallen to the floor. 

As the young man held the book up to the moonlight to examine it, Edward felt a rush of cold clench at his unbeating heart. It was Shanarra’s grimoire. Fiore opened the book idly, taking in the thin, spidery writing that filled each page before he threw the book on the table at the foot of the bed and climbed back in to go to sleep. 

If we go down then we go down together   
They'll say you could do anything   
They'll say that I was clever   
If we go down then we go down together   
We'll get away with everything   
Let's show them we are better 

We were staying in Paris (If we go down)   
We were staying in Paris (If we go down)   
We were staying in Paris (If we go down)   
We were staying in Paris (If we go down)   
Let's show them we are better   
We were staying in Paris 

Let's show them we are better   
Let's show them we are better   
If we go down   
Let's show them we are better   
If we go down   
Let's show them we are better   
If we go down   
Let's show them we are better   
Let's show them we are better 

Page Break

How Far I’ll Go/ A Million Dreams 

This echo shimmered in on a long note: a green park along the Seine, with the Eiffel tower in the background. A picnic was laid on the grass as the three royals took in the sailboats on the river. Adeline’s sweet alto rang excitedly over the throne room. 

I've been staring at the edge of the water   
'Long as I can remember, never really knowing why   
I wish I could be the perfect daughter   
But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try   
Every turn I take, every trail I track   
Every path I make, every road leads back   
To the place I know, where I can not go, where I long to be 

Adeline grabbed Bella’s hand, pulling her up from the picnic blanket and pointing excitedly at the horizon. 

See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me   
And no one knows, how far it goes   
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me   
One day I'll know, if I go there's just no telling how far I'll go 

She turned to Fiore with a shrug as she expressed her dream to explore the world, denying her destiny to rule. 

I know everybody on this island, seems so happy on this island   
Everything is by design   
I know everybody on this island has a role on this island   
So maybe I can roll with mine   
I can lead with pride, I can make us strong   
I'll be satisfied if I play along   
But the voice inside sings a different song   
What is wrong with me? 

Young-Bella wore a wide smile as she threw Adeline into the river, diving in after her and taking up the song, their voices raised in sweet chorus. 

See the light as it shines on the sea? It's blinding   
But no one knows, how deep it goes   
And it seems like it's calling out to me, so come find me   
And let me know, what's beyond that line, will I cross that line? 

The line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me   
And no one knows, how far it goes   
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me   
One day I'll know, how far I'll go 

Fiore and Bella nodded at Adeline excitedly, accepting her dream and frolicking in the water until sunset, when they packed up their picnic and headed back to the apartment. 

A new scene flashed in immediately, it was connected to this song somehow. Fiore’s young voice echoed. The scene was the Paris apartment, the covers on the bed rumpled and books strewn on the table and the floor. Fiore was fiddling with a complicated looking device, and he shouted in triumph as it cast a shadow on the blank wall opposite the bed, calling for Addy and Bella to come see. 

I close my eyes and I can see   
The world that's waiting up for me   
That I call my own   
Through the dark, through the door   
Through where no one's been before   
But it feels like home 

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy   
They can say, they can say I've lost my mind   
I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy   
We can live in a world that we design 

'Cause every night I lie in bed   
The brightest colors fill my head   
A million dreams are keeping me awake   
I think of what the world could be   
A vision of the one I see   
A million dreams is all it's gonna take   
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make 

The strange device threw magical light all around the room like a disco ball, the multicolored lights illuminating the dancers as early-morning sunshine faded to soft night. 

There's a house we can build   
Every room inside is filled   
With things from far away   
The special things I compile   
Each one there to make you smile   
On a rainy day 

Fio caressed Bella and Adeline’s faces in the dim light of the machine,both girls bent over the stack of books on the table, searching for a spell that would release them from the Choosing. 

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy   
They can say, they can say we've lost our minds   
I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy   
Runaway to a world that we design 

Suddenly the voice that echoed was richer, a grown-man's voice. Edward saw his Bella shudder from the center of the pentagram, continuing her cast with tears pooling in her golden eyes. 

Every night I lie in bed   
The brightest colors fill my head   
A million dreams are keeping me awake   
I think of what the world could be   
A vision of the one I see   
A million dreams is all it's gonna take   
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make 

Echo-Bella's voice joined the song, accepting her lovers’ dreams and answering with her own. 

However big, however small   
Let me be part of it all   
Share your dreams with me   
You may be right, you may be wrong   
But say that you'll bring me along   
To the world you see   
To the world I close my eyes to see   
I close my eyes to see 

Every night I lie in bed   
The brightest colors fill my head   
A million dreams are keeping me awake   
A million dreams, a million dreams   
I think of what the world could be   
A vision of the one I see   
A million dreams is all it's gonna take   
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make 

The three lovers retired to sleep, Fiore snapping his fingers to make the sparks of magical light cease. They sang in trio, music fading as they crowded into each other’s hold with Bella in the middle this time. 

For the world we're gonna make 

Page Break

The Heart Wants What It Wants 

As the echoes slowed again, becoming one long scene, Edward watched closely. 

Adeline and Bella’s faces began to grow worried, shooting glances out of the corner of their eyes at Fio, who was bent over Shannara’s grimoire from dawn’s light until far into the night. Bella finally dragged the boy to the bed, plucking the book from his hand and slamming it on the table disgustedly. 

You got me sippin' on something   
I can't compare to nothing   
I've ever known, I'm hoping   
That after this fever I'll survive 

Adeline was distracting the boy from his reading, and he snapped at her shortly. Looking shocked, Adeline grabbed the book form Fio’s grasp, throwing it to the floor and yelling in his face as Bella tried to make peace between the two. 

I know I'm acting a bit crazy   
Strung out, a little bit hazy   
Hand over heart, I'm praying   
That I'm gonna make it out alive 

That night, Bella’s face was strained in the light from the lamp on the table at the foot of the bed, taking in Fiore still hunched over the grimoire. 

The bed's getting cold and you're not here   
The future that we hold is so unclear   
But I'm not alive until you call   
And I'll bet the odds against it all   
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear   
You might be right but I don't care   
There's a million reasons why I should give you up   
But the heart wants what it wants   
The heart wants what it wants 

Now all three lovers were shouting, small elemental disasters wrecking the room as they screamed at each other, the grimoire was open on the table. The image on the page of the book was a sketch of eyes consumed with black and red. 

You got me scattered in pieces   
Shining like stars and screaming   
Lighting me up like Venus   
But then you disappear and make me wait 

Fiore talked loudly over the two girls: motioning to the book, and then to himself. Bella threw herself in a chair at the table and clutched her head in her hands, looking defeated. 

And every second's like torture   
Hell over trip, no more so   
Finding a way to let go   
Baby, baby, no I can't escape 

Finally, the yelling stopped, Fiore’s voice taking on a begging quality as he sang the chorus of the song. 

The bed's getting cold and you're not here   
The future that we hold is so unclear   
But I'm not alive until you call   
And I'll bet the odds against it all   
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear   
You might be right but I don't care   
There's a million reasons why I should give you up   
But the heart wants what it wants 

He repeated the line, taking Bella’s hand, not turning his gaze from her, and motioning for Addy to take his opposite one. 

The heart wants what it wants 

Adeline took his hand, also looking at Bella’s defeated posture. 

The heart wants what it wants 

Bella stood slowly, turning to look at the book as she put her free hand in Addy’s. 

The heart wants what it wants 

This is a modern fairy tale   
No happy endings   
No wind in our sails   
But I can't imagine a life without   
Breathless moments   
Breaking me down, down, down, down 

The bed's getting cold and you're not here   
The future that we hold is so unclear   
But I'm not alive until you call   
And I'll bet the odds against it all   
Save your advice 'cause I won't hear   
You might be right but I don't care   
There's a million reasons why I should give you up   
But the heart wants what it wants   
The heart wants what it wants   
The heart wants what it wants   
The heart wants what it wants 

Bella reached for the book of Dark magick on the table, turning the page to the consumed black and red eyes before she closed it, placing her hand on top of the cover. Adeline covered Bella’s hand with her own, and Fiore placed his on top, meeting each other’s eyes with their hands on the grimoire, determination on each face. 

The heart wants what it wants, baby   
It wants what it wants, baby   
It wants what it wants   
It wants what it wants 

The heart wants what it wants, baby   
It wants what it wants 

The echo faded as the throne room darkened malevolently, making the shimmering magic that encompassed his Bella all the more bright in the growing darkness. Bella met his eyes, rage and warning in her own. The decision had been made. The royal three would raise the Master, counting on his borrowed power to overcome the destiny waiting for them at the Choosing Ceremony. Edward closed his eyes, blocking out the room as his heart sank.


	16. Broken

Damn guys. I’m dreading writing this chapter. Probably why it’s so short. 

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Yeah, right. 

Dedicated to the villains: I forgive you. Come back from the dark. 

READ AND REVIEW! 

Links: 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73286549/breakdown-chapter-15-broken 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2BoCnqjCBiflIkI0XbtTE2?si=OAuS2tM9RCeeF6MBZxu8pg 

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AO3: 

Page Break

The Truth beneath the Rose 

The dark in the throne room grew until the only source of light was the pentagram shining on the floor, Bella’s form silhouetted against the magick that lit her form. 

Edward called Bella’s name in the dark; he wanted to be sure his lover was alright. In response, Bella’s eyes snapped open, consumed with black outlined in glowing gold. The music began suddenly. Bella, his Bella, the real one, was singing in a high soprano. 

Give me strength to face the truth, the doubt within my soul   
No longer I can justify the bloodshed in His name   
Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose?   
Pray with me so I will find the gate to Heaven's door 

She flashed in front of Edward, pain in her consumed eyes, her voice begging him. 

I believed it would justify the means   
It had a hold over me   
Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast   
It is the darker side of me (forgive me my sins)   
The veil of my dreams deceived that I have seen   
Forgive me for what I have been   
Forgive me my sins! 

She tangled her hands in her hair in a quick, desperate movement, turning from him back to the center of the glowing symbol. Now she begged the entire room, turning to her audience with her back bowed as though under a heavy load, clutching her arms to her torso and scratching at the brand on her shoulder; losing it as surely as she had in the gardens. 

Pray for me 'cause I have lost my faith in holy wars   
Is paradise denied to me 'cause I can't take no more?   
Has darkness taken over me, consumed my mortal soul?   
All my virtues sacrificed, can Heaven be so cruel? 

I believed it would justify the means   
It had a hold over me (forgive me my sins)   
Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast   
It is the darker side of me (forgive me my sins)   
The veil of my dreams deceived that I have seen   
Forgive me for what I have been   
Forgive me my sins! 

She turned to his father, begging Carlisle to absolve her, as she had him. 

I'm hoping, I'm praying, I won't get lost between two worlds   
For all I have seen the truth lies in between   
Give me the strength to face the wrong that I have done   
Now that I know the darkest side of me 

Suddenly calm, she returned to the center of the pentagram, looking past Edward to her people. 

How can blood be our salvation   
And justify the pain that we have caused throughout the times   
Will I learn what's truly sacred?   
Will I redeem my soul, will truth set me free? 

The flashes began: moonless night, the three royals in a circle, hands clasped and chanting, a shadow rising from the grimoire. 

Blinded to see the cruelty of the beast   
It is the darker side of me (forgive me my sins)   
The veil of my dreams deceived that I have seen   
Forgive me for what I have been   
Forgive me my sins! 

By the time the haunting, desperate vocals pouring from his Bella’s expressive form ended, the shadow of the Master floated above the circle where the panicked royals stood, grey smoke and monstrous red eyes swirling menacingly. In the echo, the ground began to shake, every star blacked out by the menacing smoke. Fiore shouted over the wind, “He can’t harm us if we maintain the circle. We have to send him back!” 

Page Break

The Leaving Song Part 2 

Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything   
Or were you sent to save me?   
I've thought too much, you won't find anything   
Worthy of redeeming 

The shadow whispered to the three lovers in their protective circle, trying to encourage them to break away from each other, playing on their fears and jealousies, every little insecurity. 

Yo he estado aquí muchas veces antes y regreso 

Fiore and Adeline began to scream, and echo-Bella's form shook, her hands clenching into her lovers’ so hard her fingernails began to draw blood. 

To break down and cease all feeling   
Burn now what once was breathing   
Reach out and you may take my heart away 

Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy   
So what befalls the flawless?   
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully   
Now watch as it destroys me 

Fiore’s body jerked, almost ripping him free of Addy and Bella’s grasp. 

Y regreso aquí otra vez y comienzo 

To break down and cease all feeling   
Burn now what once was breathing   
Reach out and you may take my heart away 

A crevasse opened in the field where the royals stood, their bodies levitating in the air above the never-ending black. 

Break down and cease all feeling   
Burn now what once was breathing   
Reach out and you may take my heart away 

In the echo, Fiore suddenly let go of Bella and Adeline, falling into the pit below as they both scrambled to follow him without letting go of one another. His Bella’s form convulsed even outside the echo, curling up on the floor as the echo stopped momentarily. She whispered the next words into the dark of the throne room, the echoes going dark. 

I saw its birth, I watched it grow   
I felt it change me   
I took the life, I did it slow   
Now it consumes me 

The echo returned, showing the two girls cowering away from their male lover, who’s eyes were now black holes outlined in red irises. Fiore was levitating above the rapidly closing split in the earth, The Master adjusting to his new form. 

Why? 

Break down and cease all feeling   
Burn now what once was breathing   
Reach out and you may take my heart away 

Break down and cease all feeling   
Burn now what once was breathing   
Reach out and you may take my heart away 

Heart away 

Edward couldn’t take this. He rushed to the center of the symbol to hold his lover, venom tears in his eyes that would never be shed. But Bella was too far gone, consumed by the horrific memory that was the end of her world. 

Page Break

Salem Girls (Big D and the Kids’ Table) 

Edward clung to his Bella’s form as, in the echoes: the torture began. The Master was quick to gather followers; Tomas and Demetri took all they could from Adeline and Bella. A beating, a whipping, crowds of men tearing the two girls apart from the inside out. 

Every time there was a break in the torture they endured, echo-Bella would heal Adeline of her physical wounds, clutching her close and protecting her when she could. The Master, still locked in Fiore’s physical form, used this care to his advantage, forcing Bella to make difficult choices to save her female lover from death and worse. 

Tomas began to experiment with different drugs: Bella restrained on a hard table and injected over and over again, screaming through withdrawal with Adeline by her side. 

Demetri’s approach was different, forcing the girls into more and more depraved scenarios with different men, delighting every time he tortured them with pleasure and pain regardless of their wishes. 

And always, always those black-red eyes watched them scream, grinning wickedly with Fiore’s face. 

Page Break

Rockabye 

The echoes began to slow, and Bella was clutched against a much leaner Adeline, starvation making the girls’ faces sallow and gaunt. Echo-Bella was obviously feverish and ill, going through yet another horrific withdrawal period. A dark-skinned Indian woman knelt on the other side of Bella, very pregnant and dabbing at her brow with a damp scrap of Adeline’s t-shirt. The Master entered with Tomas and Demetri, who grabbed the woman as Bella whimpered protests, Adeline striking out weakly at Tomas and kicking him ineffectively in the calf. 

The woman was strapped to a table in the center of the dungeon, and the Master turned to the two girls who had been Fiore’s lovers. Motioning to the pregnant woman, he spoke to Bella, materializing a small dagger from thin-air and extending it towards where Echo-Bella shook in Adeline’s arms. 

Flashes of blood and screaming consumed the image; and then the pregnant woman was clutching her child, a baby girl, singing a lullaby to her as she handed her to a bloodstained Bella with a whispered request. Bella nodded; and the woman died, blood pouring from the messy incision on her stomach; a peaceful smile was on her face as she took in the image of the child she would leave behind, cradled between Bella and Adeline’s thin forms. From the crowd of Fae in the throne room, Edward heard Josephat cry out in pain. When he looked to find the healer in the dark, tears were streaming down Josephat’s face. The pregnant woman had been his chosen. 

The child grew in the dungeon, Adeline and Bella protecting her, enduring ever more brutality to keep the child safe. The flashes changed slightly, Adeline spending more time alone in the dungeon, cradling the infant in her embrace and singing the lullaby until she was hoarse; as Bella snuck around the dungeon and castle that was their prison. 

Eventually the flashes resolved into a solid image: Bella handing the child to a cloaked man outside of the castle gates, before looking back to search for Adeline. When her red-haired lover failed to show, Bella kissed the child on the forehead with a whisper of golden magic, before turning from the cloaked man on horseback and running back into the Master’s stronghold. She turned from her last chance at freedom: choosing to return to hell of her own free will to be with Adeline. 

She tells him "ooh love"   
No one's ever gonna hurt you, love   
I'm gonna give you all of my love   
Nobody matters like you (stay up there, stay up there)   
She tells him "your life ain't gonna be nothing like my life (straight)   
You're gonna grow and have a good life   
I'm gonna do what I've got to do" (stay up there, stay up there) 

So, rockabye baby, rockabye   
I'm gonna rock you   
Rockabye baby, don't you cry   
Somebody's got you   
Rockabye baby, rockabye   
I'm gonna rock you   
Rockabye baby, don't you cry   
Rockabye, no (Rockabye-rocka-rocka-rocka-bye) (oh)   
Rockabye, yeah, yeah (Rockabye-rocka-rocka-rocka-bye) 

Page Break

Breathe Today 

The music was halting, the flashes of memory in sync with the fast beat. 

You can only move as fast as who's in front of you   
And if you assume just like them, what good will it do?   
So, find out for yourself, so your ignorance will stop bleeding through 

His Bella was facing a shadow forming in the throne room behind her, between her and the flashes with streams of shadow connecting its indistinct form to the memories. She addressed the shadow with her song, shaking off Edward’s embrace and spreading her stance, preparing to fight. 

You can breathe today 

The shadow bared its teeth, dripping with black blood, its red-black eyes focusing on Edward’s lover. 

So many lies swirling around you you're suffocating   
The empty space in you   
Steals your breath you're suffocating 

Each of Bella’s words was bitten off, forced through gritted teeth and gasping breaths. She began to taunt the still form of the shadow, circling the Master. 

Logic forces me to believe in this and now I've learned to see   
I can only say what I've seen and heard and only you can choose   
And every choice you make will affect you, search your own self 

She stopped directly in front of the shadow, and behind the pair, shadows flickered into more memory echoes. Echo-Bella was set upon by Tomas and Demetri as soon as she re-entered the castle through a small stone opening in an unused room. She was blindfolded and taken to a dank and windowless stone room, with a pyre burning in the middle of the room. In front of the simmering pyre was a stone altar, with the dagger from before thrust into the stone. Adeline was bound, helpless on the floor in front of the altar. 

You can breathe today 

Bella struggled against the two men’s hold on her, but she was too weak. They dragged her to the pyre, strapping her arms behind her back as the Master picked up a white-hot brand. 

So many lies swarming around you, you're suffocating   
The empty shape in you   
Steals your breath you're suffocating 

AS the Master pressed the brand into Bella’s shoulder, the images strobed, showing the dagger in the altar moving telekinetically in slow-motion, it’s path growing ever closer to Adeline before the already bloodied dagger struck her directly in the heart. Both echo-Bella and the real one in the throne room screamed loud and long: despairing, rage-filled, devastated. 

Breathe! 

Big enough to fill the void that's inside of you   
It's just a breath away 

The real Bella struck out at the Master’s shadow, but chains reached from the memory, fastening around her limbs and neck, holding her back from reaching him. 

So many lies swarming around you you're suffocating   
The empty shape in you   
Steals your breath you're suffocating 

Breathe! 

Echo-bella snapped her binds, rushing to the quickly dying Adeline’s side. As she screamed her grief, a portal opened in the room, a tear in the skin of the room that flew to consume the two shattered girls. 

You can breathe today 

Bella and Adeline appeared in the mortal square, and Adeline’s hand caressed Bella’s face a final time before her body went limp, green eyes closing. Echo-Bella screamed in unison with real Bella, shattering every window in the square with her pain as her lover took her last breath. 

Breathe today 

Page Break

Like You 

Stay alive, soft, dark and dreamless   
Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness   
I hate me for breathing without you   
I don't want to feel anymore for you 

Grieving for you, I'm not grieving for you   
Nothing real love can't undo   
And though I may have lost my way   
All paths lead straight to you 

I long to be like you   
Lie cold in the ground like you 

Halo blinding wall between us   
Melt away and leave us alone again   
Humming haunted somewhere out there   
I believe our love can see us through in death 

I long to be like you   
Lie cold in the ground like you   
There's room inside for two   
And I'm not grieving for you   
I'm coming for you 

You're not alone   
No matter what they told you   
You're not alone   
I'll be right beside you forevermore 

I long to be like you,   
Lie cold in the ground like you did   
There's room inside for two   
And I'm not grieving for you 

And as we lay in silent bliss   
I know you remember me 

I long to be like you   
Lie cold in the ground like you   
There's room inside for two   
And I'm not grieving for you   
I'm coming for you 

The shadow faded, the horrible echo of the square fading too; though the chains around Bella’s neck and limbs stayed behind. A golden light filled the space, soft and dream-like. 

Page Break

30 Minutes 

The throne room was completely silent as the golden glow grew, encompassing the room from the thrones to the furthest bench. Grief was on every Fae’s face, and Edward couldn’t even bring himself to look at his family. 

The sound of childish laughter rang in the space. Young Adeline, young Bella, and young Fiore chased each other around the room, playing a game of lovers’ tag and when the shining forms caught one another, the laughter would ring around the room again. Fiore caught Adeline up in a kiss with his brown eyes twinkling, forming his body to hers as the shining echo of Bella looked back at them, grinning with her long hair blowing in front of her face. 

They disappeared before they reached the North end of the room, dissolving away as they reached the stage that held the three thrones. 

HIs Bella met his eyes from where she stood in the center of the pentagram, the few feet between him and his lover felt like miles, eons. 

Page Break

I Dreamed a Dream (Anne Hathaway) 

Bella looked into his eyes, not seeking anything, just looking at him, taking in his face. She took a deep breath, and began to sing again, unaccompanied by any magick, save the steady magick shimmering around her from the floor. 

There was a time when men were kind   
When their voices were soft   
And their words inviting   
There was a time when love was blind   
And the world was a song   
And the song was exciting   
There was a time 

She turned her face from him as though ashamed, and Edward couldn’t endure it. He flashed in front of his love, tilting her face to meet his eyes. Her doe-brown eyes were full of grief and loss, destroyed. 

Then it all went wrong 

She looked the other way after a moment, the soft piano swelling softly as she drew his gaze to the three thrones on the stage. 

I dreamed a dream in times gone by   
When hope was high and life worth living   
I dreamed, that love would never die   
I dreamed that God would be forgiving 

She looked back at him, held his eyes. 

Then I was young and unafraid   
And dreams were made and used and wasted   
There was no ransom to be paid   
No song unsung, no wine untasted 

She looked down at the pentagram in the floor, her eyes flashing black, and then gold. 

But the tigers come at night   
With their voices soft as thunder 

She closed her eyes against the tears that showed in her voice. 

As they tear your hope apart   
As they turn your dream to shame   
She slept a summer by my side   
He filled my days with endless wonder   
He took my childhood in his stride   
And she was gone when autumn came 

She turned from him, facing the thrones with one hand in his, and the other stretched towards the stage. 

And still I dream he'll come to me   
That we will live the years together   
But there are dreams that cannot be   
And there are storms we cannot weather 

The two wooden thrones began to dissolve away, the creek drying up and the flames going out as the chairs shattered slowly, each piece crushed into dust and ashes. 

I had a dream my life would be   
So different from this hell I'm living   
So different now from what it seemed 

When they were gone, and the stage was empty save for the lonely golden throne, Bella opened her eyes, shock and grief on her face as she took in the stage. 

Oh, life has killed the dream 

Then, she turned back to Edward: kissing him chastely, softly; before pulling back to look in his eyes, peaceful determination growing on her weary face. 

I dreamed 

Page Break

I Shall Rise (Original Game Sountrack) (Karen O) 

Bella met the eyes of each member of his family at their place around the pentagram, slow guitar began to play. She willed them to believe her next slow, halting words. Her voice was hoarse. 

As I walk through frozen sands   
Through the flames of burning lands   
My feet are torn, they're torn to strands   
I will not thirst 

As I cross the raging sea   
Waves are crashing over me   
They drag me down, they drag me down   
I will not drown 

Her shoulders straightened, her hips began to sway; she took in the crowd of gathered Fae. 

They'll know my name   
After the storms are passing through   
They'll know my name   
When they've forgotten all about you   
They'll know my name   
After the storms are passing through   
They'll know my name   
When they've forgotten all about you 

She took Edward in a tango hold, spinning through the room in a complicated dance that Edward somehow knew, taking the lead as echoes of his relationship with Bella in Forks echoed around the dancing pair, accented by swirls of elemental light that rose from the magickal seal on the floor. 

They're calling out, they're calling out my name   
They're calling out, they're calling out my name 

And I shall rise, oh well I shall rise   
Again and again   
I shall rise, oh well I shall rise   
Again and again   
And I shall rise, oh well I shall rise   
Again and again   
I shall rise, oh well I shall rise   
Again and again 

The music stopped, and he released Bella from his hold. She stopped still, holding his topaz gaze with her own golden one as the wisps of light and memory faded. Her voice rang out accapella, and Edward believed every word. 

I shall rise, oh well I shall rise   
Again and again   
I shall rise, oh well I shall rise   
Again and again 

Isabella Swan collapsed into Edward’s arms, and he cradled her close as her eyes closed and she drifted into exhausted unconsciousness, spent.


	17. Hope

Okay ya’ll... come out of the corner, quit your crying. It’s okay, I have some fluffy fanfiction for you! A short chapter, here. Basically nonsense, just reconnecting after the trauma in the throne room. 

Finally, Edward and Bella get some alone time in this chapter. They need to TALK. 

Come on, let’s see what happens next. 

Dedicated to you. May you find true love, and never let it go. 

READ AND REVIEW! I love you guys. I’ll be nice- don't disappear. 

LINKS: 

DeviantArt (photos and illustrations): 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73286720/breakdown-chapter-16-hope 

Spotify (music): 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/62rnw8B4EVWhj6MSrfmSkC?si=P3gGACzCSBOXm-aEFR0h8A 

Youtube (music): 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WD-PsWCTDP9ol10ebf46y90 

AO3 (fanfiction): 

Fanfiction: 

Page Break

Begin Again 

Edward clutched Bella’s limp form to himself as he rushed to exit the throne room, his family and Josephat close behind. Marcos and Kaedra stayed behind to oversee the dispersal of the Fae crowd and close the throne room. 

Josephat’s face was tear-stained and haggard, but he collected himself as the group rushed towards the attic. Edward didn’t even wait for the staircase to begin to move, relishing the push and pull of stone muscles in his legs that grounded him as he climbed the stairs to the Attic. He paused at the threshold of the open space, remembering briefly that their home in Havana had belonged to the royal three before it belonged to Bella and his family. The room looked different than in the echoes, the Cullens’ stamp in every inch of the space; the huge white bed in the center of the room was gone, replaced with the extended futon where he and his lover slept. 

Once he and his family reached the sanctuary of the Attic, Edward laid Bella on the extended futon. Josephat crowded close to begin his examination, calling on Carlisle to assist him. 

“She saved my child’s life. My wife and I tried for years, centuries. We were overjoyed when she finally conceived. We stood against the Master foolishly, too bold and obvious by half. It was the end of my world when Demetri came for her, to punish me for my insolence. After, even though Bella was bound; she made it known to me that my Chosen was gone, but my child lived. I had no concept of how involved she was in my child’s life. What she- What she sacrificed so that my little girl could live. I have pledged my life to her, and I would do so again in a heartbeat.” He met Edward’s eyes. “Isabella may have held the knife, but the Master ended my Chosen’s life. I will never blame her. She did more than she had to, more than I thought was possible to save my family. As she will for yours.” 

He and Carlisle bent, focused on Bella’s aura and revealing it to the room. Her aura flashed gold and black at rapid pace; before it solidified as Josephat poured massive amounts of blue-healing magick into his love. 

“She will be okay; she will wake soon. She was just exhausted. No other Fae could have done what she did, contained the Master’s hold on her well enough to show the full story.” Carlisle brushed the hair out of Bella’s eyes softly before turning his attention to Jo. “I would heal you, my friend.” Carlisle requested, but Josephat shook his head. “Some wounds, young Carlisle, are only healed by time. My pain is a comfort to me: a reminder that even in the dark, there is still hope for redemption. Turn your care to your Fae daughter. She needs it more than I. I will speak to Lizzie, arrange for privacy. Cherish her, Cullens. It is not often a Queen finds a family, much less a second chance at one.” Jo exited the attic, leaving he and his family alone with Bella sleeping, sheltered by their protection. 

Rosalie and Emmett had hard faces, their thoughts were racing with sympathy and fear, constantly scanning for any threat to their beloved sister. Alice and Jasper mourned the end of Bella’s first love, sadness and grief welling up in them as they considered all that Bella had lost. Carlisle and Esme were shattered by what the echoes had revealed, protective and fearing for the future of their first son and his Fae lover, forcing themselves not to think beyond when Bella awoke. Edward just looked at Bella’s sleeping face with love and terrible fear overwhelming him; until he wished he too, could close his eyes and dream of simpler times. 

Page Break

Somebody to Love (Kacey Musgraves) 

Bella slept for hours, and the Attic remained subdued and quiet. 

Lizzie showed her tear-tracked face for just a moment, bringing the Cullens damask pitchers of warm dragon’s blood that she left on the table, where they remained untouched. “She brought my Alexandra to me, the realization of my shattered hopes. Take care of her.” She hugged Esme and Rosalie before she took her leave, looking back at Edward, who was unmoving, unbreathing; staring at Bella’s face with his hand tucked in hers. As the door closed behind her, a soft song began to play though Bella still slept, her voice echoing around her vampire family. 

We're all hoping, we're all hopeless   
We're all thorns and we're all roses   
We're all looking down our noses at ourselves   
We're all flawed and we're all perfect   
We're all lost and we're all hurting   
And just searching for somebody to love 

We're all liars, we're all legends   
We're all tens, I'd want elevens   
We're all trying to get to heaven, but not today   
We're all happy, we're all hatin'   
We're all patiently impatient   
And just waiting for somebody to love 

We're all good, but we ain't angels   
We all sin, but we ain't devils   
We're all pots and we're all kettles   
But we can't see it in ourselves   
We're all livin' 'til we're dying   
We ain't cool, but man, we're trying   
Just thinking we'll be fixed by someone else 

Bella’s eyes fluttered slowly. She was beginning to wake. 

We all wrangle with religion   
We all talk, but we don't listen   
We're all starving for attention then we'll run   
We're all paper, we're all scissors   
We're all fightin' with our mirrors   
Scared we'll never find somebody to love 

We're all good, but we ain't angels   
We all sin, but we ain't devils   
We're all pots and we're all kettles   
But we can't see it in ourselves   
We're all livin' 'til we're dying   
We ain't cool, but man, we're trying   
Thinking we'll be fixed by someone else 

Just tryin' to hold it all together   
We all wish our best was better   
Just hopin' that forever's really real   
We'll miss a dime to grab a nickel   
Overcomplicate the simple   
We're all little kids just looking for love   
Yeah, don't we all just want somebody to love? 

When Bella opened her doe-brown eyes, the first thing she saw were Edward’s topaz ones, filled with love, fear, and hope. She opened her mouth, clearing her throat as she took in her vampires. 

“Hello. What’d I miss?” 

Relief poured from Edward in waves, and he clutched Bella to him, crushing his lips to hers in an exultant kiss, uncaring of his audience. “Isabella Swan, do not ever do something like that again. Why do you have to be so wonderfully brave all the time? I have never been so afraid in my life. But you’re awake. Thank God, you’re awake.” 

“I was just tired, Edward. I’m okay.” A pause. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay. Jesus, I love you so much.” Edward’s hands began to shake, venom-tears pooling in his eyes and a sob escaped his throat. “I don’t care Bella. I mean I care, obviously. But not—I'm such a fool. I can’t believe I yelled at you in the music room. I was just jealous. I am so sorry. I will never not want your love. I will never stop loving you, you exceptional girl. I’d marry you this instant, if there were a preacher around.” 

“Wow. Okay. Um, didn’t Carlisle used to be a pastor?” 

Edward’s eyes grew excited and speculative. 

“Woah, that was a joke, Edward. Slow your roll. I’m in love you too, of course. Always am, always will be.” Bella shrugged at him, as though that wasn’t the most wonderful gift Edward had ever known. 

She looked around at his family. “I love all of you, in your own way. I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I want to be a part of your family, you have to know that.” 

“We understand, Bella. Don’t worry about it.” Rosalie’s voice was soft, and Alice and Esme nodded along with her. 

Jasper nodded too. “I can’t believe I didn’t trust you. You are exceptional, Bella.” 

Emmett chortled again. “I can’t believe you’ve lived so much. You’re only nineteen! Eternity with you is going to be very exciting.” 

“Eternity?” Bella looked shocked. “What? I thought you guys didn’t want me to turn.” 

Carlisle broke in. “I understand there are challenges, Bella. You don’t have to, ever. We just want you to be happy, as long as we can hold on to you.” 

Bella turned to Edward, expecting his rebuttal, his insistence that she stay human. But Edward was silent, looking at her with the face that meant he wished he could read her thoughts. 

“Oookay. Well. That’s a great deal to take in first thing in the morning. You-” she pointed her finger at Edward teasingly. “-and I are going to have a private discussion. The rest of you are going to enjoy your breakfast and try to resist the urge to eavesdrop. Nosy vampires.” She stuck her tongue out at the Cullens, before bouncing off the bed and grabbing Edward’s hand, leading him out to the balcony and closing the doors behind them. 

Page Break

Like I’m Gonna Lose You 

Once the French doors closed behind them, shutting the pair away from the prying eyes of his well-meaning family, Edward took a moment to listen, to make sure his family kept their promise not to eavesdrop. Bella looked at him questioningly. “All clear?” 

Edward nodded, crossing to the chairs that surrounded the firepit and reaching to pull Bella into his lap. “What’s next, Bella? How do you defeat the Master?” 

“I don’t.” Bella’s voice was matter-of-fact. “Nothing has really changed, even though everything has. The options remain the same. Either the Master will kill me, or I will fall to his control. There’s no happy ending here, Edward. You have to know that, to understand it. I will always love you, but you’ll have to let me go. One way or another. I won’t bring you down with me. I promised your family that they will survive, and I will hold to that.” 

“What if you were turned? Would that help?” Edward felt the desperation well within him, the fear rising. 

“I don’t know. Fae don’t know much about vampires anymore, all the information about your species burned with the Great Library. Probably not. I would be unable to access my affinities. Without my magick, I’m unable to fight him on any sort of equal ground. He would probably just burn me to ashes, and then there would be no one to defend Camp, or your family.” 

“I can’t lose you, Bella. I won’t survive it.” Edward’s voice was just as practical as Bella’s, both acknowledging the facts they couldn’t change. 

“I know. But, frankly, I hope you do. I hope you live on, find happiness, find love. Lord knows I never thought I would find it again, until I saw your face for the first time. You really can’t comprehend what it was like, falling for you. It changed everything, changed all my priorities. I will love you until the day I die, Edward, and after that, if I can.” 

“As will I. My Bella.” 

Bella eyes crinkled, she smiled beautifully. “My Edward.” 

So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you   
I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye   
Wherever we're standing   
I won't take you for granted   
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time 

Edward clutched his love to him, careful not to crush her so tightly that she couldn’t breathe. He would love his Bella, and she him, as long as they were able. The future was unclear and frightening, and Edward couldn’t just peek into Alice’s mind and see what happened next. But right now, in this moment, his love was here with him. It was enough. 

Page Break

Love Me Anyway 

After a long stretch where time had no meaning, Bella started to sing softly, piano rising behind her. Somehow, Edward knew the words to the song, and he raised his voice, accompanying his lover in a sweet and desperate duet, that dripped with their love, no matter what the future held. 

Even if you see my scars   
Even if I break your heart   
If we're a million miles apart   
Do you think you'd walk away?   
If I get lost in all the noise   
Even if I lose my voice   
Flirt with all the other boys   
What would you say? 

Could you?   
Could you?   
Could you love me anyway? 

Is it for better or for worse   
Or am I just your good time girl?   
Can you still hold me when it hurts   
Or would you walk away?   
Even if I scandalize you   
Cut you down and criticize you   
Tell a million lies about you   
What would you say? 

Could you?   
Could you?   
Could you?   
Could you love me anyway?   
Could you? (Aw, could you?)   
Could you? (Could you?)   
Could you?   
Could you love me anyway?   
Could you? 

Could you? (Could you still love me?)   
Could you? (Pick up the pieces of me?)   
Could you? (Could you still love me?)   
Could you love me anyway?   
Could you? (Ooh, could you still love me?)   
Could you? (Pick up the pieces of me?)   
Could you? (Could you still love me?)   
Could you love me anyway?   
Could you? (Could you catch me when I fall?)   
Could you? (And we rise above it all)   
Could you? (And hold me when it hurts)   
Like it's the end of the world 

Could you?   
Could you? 

Page Break

Page Break

Legendary Lovers 

Bella and Edward clung to each other on the balcony until the sun was shining high in the sky, the noon meal approaching. Esme knocked respectfully on the doors before she joined them, holding a cup of coffee out to Bella. “Kaedra and Marcos are here. I think Marcos was about to punch Lizzie in the face if she didn’t let him up the stairs.” 

“Temper, temper. They’re all so stubborn.” Edward and Carlisle shot her an incredulous look. 

“What?” 

“Must be a Fae thing.” Emmett joked, he and the rest of the Cullens trailing in to fill the chairs around the table. Marcos and Kaedra trailed behind them, looking upset. 

“Seriously? Bella, you can’t just drop an atomic bomb like that and pass out, then run away to hide with your vampires. I’ve been putting out fires all morning. The soldiers are practically salivating for battle. You owe me a drink for the headache.” Marcos threw himself in Emmett’s chair before Edward’s brother could reach it, propping his booted feet on the table. Emmett glared, but shifted to head to where Rosalie was already sitting, pulling his wife into his lap. Carlisle did the same with Esme, leaving a chair open for Kaedra. 

But the second Kaedra crossed the boundary of the French doors, Bella stiffened; her eyes consumed with white. Alice reached for her, but Jasper tangled his hand with hers before she touched Bella. He didn’t want his wife stuck in another vision. 

Disjointed images flashed quickly in the warm summer air, too quickly to see anything. When Bella began to sing, Kaedra’s face grew panicked and startled. 

Under a silver moon, tropical temperature   
I feel my lotus bloom, come closer   
I want your energy, I want your aura   
You are my destiny, my mantra 

Bella leapt up from Edward’s lap, eyes still blinded white as she approached her regent. Marcos put his boots on the floor, leaning forward to focus on Bella’s words and evaluating the regent as a potential threat. 

Never knew I could see something so clearly through my third eye   
Never knew karma could be so rewarding and bring me to your life   
Maybe this is the beginning of something so magical, tonight (oh, oh) 

Bella clasped Kaedra’s right hand in both of her own, and the fire lit itself in the center of the table. Her voice begged her Regent for something-- Edward didn’t know what. He didn’t understand the song Bella was singing, though it rang in his soul, marking itself as important, no, critical. 

Take me down to the river   
Underneath the blood orange sun   
Say my name like a scripture   
Keep my heart beating like a drum 

Bella turned white eyes to Carlisle, the tribal music accompanying her voice grew in intensity. 

Legendary lovers, we could be legendary   
Legendary lovers, we should be legendary 

She turned to Edward, reaching for him but still consumed in the vision. 

Go down in history   
Go down together, into infinity, forever   
Your Cleopatra   
Your blushing Juliet   
Anything for your love, a ride or die 

Images flashed, the sun setting a blood-red, Edward clutching Bella’s torn body to his while screaming, Carlisle’s defeated gaze, and Emmett fighting an unseen enemy and losing. Rosalie fell to ashes in the background. Jasper snarling, his eyes vampiric red, Alice giggling as a man bowed to the ground before her, eyes white. 

Never knew I could see something so clearly looking through my third eye   
Never knew karma could be so rewarding and bring me to your life   
Maybe this is the beginning of something so magical, tonight (oh, oh) 

Edward feared these flashes, sure they showed the battle in their future. In the flashes, Kaedra lit up like a firecracker, gold glowing under her skin. 

Take me down to the river   
Underneath the blood orange sun   
Say my name like a scripture   
Keep my heart beating like a drum 

Legendary lovers, we could be legendary   
Legendary lovers, we should be legendary 

The words rang like a warning, before Bella went limp, her eyes fading from Seer’s white to doe-brown once more. “Ow. Okay, enough with the Sight today. Geez, that vision will take a minute to make sense. What the heck, Kaedra? You’ve never triggered a vision in me before. Ow.” 

Bella clutched at her head. “Now I need that drink for a headache, Marcos. Seriously, what the fuck? That was the most intense vision I’ve ever had. Including the ones in the throne room. Ow.” 

Kaedra was pale, shaking. “Ok, from now on, Isabella Swan, no more visions. You are really freaking me out.” 

Despite her crass command, she clutched Bella in a tight embrace before handing her off to her vampire love. “I am so sorry for your pain, my friend. I don’t know what to say, how you can forgive me. I should have killed The Master when I had the chance.” 

“Yup, you really should have, Shannara. But it cannot be changed now, and you loved him.” Bella shrugged, easy forgiveness on her face. “It took a long time, but I can understand that. You’re forgiven.” Bella reached for her coffee. 

“I don’t think anyone expects us in the dining hall today. A day off is a rare thing to have and should never be wasted. Let’s have some fun. What should we do?” 

Edward noticed that Bella was drawing the groups’ attention away from the brief-but-powerful vision. His love had gotten through an incredibly rough day, so he let it go. But he did not forget, tucking it away for a better time as his family and friends debated what to do with their unexpected day off.


	18. Stories

((More fluff, with some angst at the end. This probably should’ve been combined with last chapter, but meh.))<<<<<<\------------I WROTE THIS TWO DAYS AGO YALL, BEFORE I FINISHED IT. YAAAAAA’LLLL IT IS NOT FLUFF. IT IS VERY VERY MUCH NOT FLUFF. HOLY SHIT THIS IS NOT FLUFF. THERE BE DRAGONS HERE PEOPLE!!!! 

Things pick up again next chapter, so don’t go anywhere! 

TRIGGERS for infertility, violent imagery involving a child 

Dedicated to Ninja and Aziza. Stay strong, make good choices. 

In honor of my angel, Reason. 

Um, ya’ll, I love kids’ movies. So, this is like 100% soundtracks, and I totally stole Bella’s story from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. 

I basically want to show the importance of stories in Fae culture, and show the far-reaching impact of Bella’s war with the Master. We’ll see how it turns out, I guess. 

READ AND REVIEW! Enjoy! 

Links: 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73302048/breakdown-chapter-17-stories 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WC62uoKkGsJQgEDRrJhr5mz 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7qnt7WxK48c6EqApmhWaMu?si=icTy8P8RQyyzdy-l0H2QZg 

AO3: 

Fanfiction: 

Page Break

Lesson number One (Mulan 2) 

Bella looked around at her family and friends, taking in their worn faces. Her mistakes had cost them, loving her had cost them. She needed to give something back to them. 

The rumors about the Cullens were growing, had been before she submitted them for candidacy to join the Fae; had been since she brought them to Havana. A sudden flash of brilliance hit her, an epiphany of how to address two problems at once. She could kill the hateful rumors that stemmed from the Cullens’ vampiric nature and provide her worn family with a fun break. 

“Let’s go to the training grounds!” 

Marcos looked at her oddly, and she knew he was wondering what she was up to now. 

“Come on. It'll be fun! The children will be there, and I’ve been meaning to check on their progress anyway. Rosalie, I know they miss you. They adore playing with your hair.” 

Bella had seen Rosalie at play with the kids of Camp when she had been hiding from the Cullens’ proclamation of love for her. The image of Rosalie with weeds and flowers braided messily into her blonde locks was not one Bella would soon forget. She remembered wishing she had a camera. 

“Oh no.” Kaedra moaned, “I don’t do kids.” 

“All the more reason.” Marcos snarked, still a bit on edge with her regent. Bella might be quick to forgive Shanarra’s role in her destruction, but Marcos was not so zen. 

Bella rolled her eyes at her. “Come on. I’ll do my own paperwork for a week.” 

“Make it a month. And don’t think I don’t know you’re up to something. Those snot-nosed brats better not trample my skirt.” 

Kaedra, Marcos, and the Cullens stood, and Bella couldn’t help it. Her regent had set her up too perfectly. 

She focused on Kaedra, and her eyes flashed golden. Kaedra’s skirt flew in a sudden wind, Marylin Monroe style, flying up to show her underwear to the room and smacking her in the face. 

“I-sa! Get back here! Oh, I’ll get you for that, you brat!” 

Bella laughed as she ran out the Attic and to the staircase. Kaedra couldn’t do anything. The Cullens had her back. 

It felt good. 

When the group reached the training grounds, the kids were just lining up for tai-chi, the balancing of their chakras. Bella nodded to the Fae left to teach them for the day, indicating that she would take over. The children’s watcher, Nikki, looked relieved and left quickly. Huh. The kids must be a handful today. 

Bella clapped twice, and the kids fell into lines excitedly. Bella always tried to make her lessons fun, and she knew the kids adored her stories. No other Fae could cast echoes as powerfully as she did, and it made for a very useful reward. Instead of a lecture on chakras, which Bella knew would make the children's eyes glaze with boredom, she surprised everyone by beginning a song, walking between the two lines the children had formed and correcting their poses as she went. 

Earth, sky   
Day, night   
Sound and silence   
Dark and light 

She manipulated the air around her as she sang, showing the children the contrasting nature found in each Fae’s aura, and all of nature besides. 

One, alone is not enough   
You need both together   
Winter, summer   
Moon and sun   
Lesson number one 

She encouraged the children to form a circle around her, spinning with a young boy in the mush pot of the spinning circle the kids cast around her. One of the first things Fae children learned was the art of the protective circle. Suddenly, she struck out at the boy, feinting a punch at his unprotected face before she brought his fists up in front of him like Fiore had shown her, so long ago. 

Like a rock, huh huh   
You must be hard, huh huh   
Like an oak, mah   
You must stand firm, huh huh 

Bella allowed her royal blade, which marked her as the rightful ruler, to exit the confines of her flesh and feinted a controlled set of jabs at the boy’s unprotected side. He jumped, scooting out of the way just in time. 

Cut quick, like my blade   
Think fast, huh huh   
Unafraid 

She nodded at him, bidding him join the circle. The boy would be fine, he was brave and strong. Skill would come with time and dedication. She pulled in a fierce looking dark-skinned child who she knew had a very troublesome past. She caressed the girl’s face, showing her how to balance bravery with sense as she danced with her, exposing and correcting her balance problems. 

Like a cloud   
You are soft   
Like bamboo   
You'll bend in the wind   
Creeping slow   
You're at peace because you know   
It's OK to be afraid 

She bid the girl re-join the circle of children still spinning around her, now addressing all of them, leading them in the new motions they would need to learn to perfect their control and find their center. This group was still too young to learn meditation, but in Bella’s experience knowledge of one self's capabilities was never a bad thing. The children repeated her words, following her motions with difficulty. 

One, alone is not enough (one, alone is not enough)   
We need both together (we need both together)   
Winter, summer, moon and sun (winter, summer, moon and sun)   
Lesson number one 

Now the children took over the song, following her motions and singing along as they grasped the concept. 

Like a cloud (like a rock, huh huh)   
You are soft (I must be hard huh huh)   
Like bamboo (like an oak, mmmah)   
You'll bend in the wind (I must stand firm, huh huh)   
Creeping slow (cut quick, like my blade)   
You're at peace because you know (think fast, huh huh) 

When she looked up to track the Cullens, Esme was looking at her with a mother’s pride. Edward had a similar expression on his face, but he also showed a bit of regret. Carlisle just looked nostalgic. Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper were caught up in the children’s excitement; one of the children, Lily, broke from the circle to run to them before Bella flashed in front of her, scolding her for breaking the circle. Overall, she was pleased with their progress, and she let them hear her pride as she ended the exercise and the song. 

You have begun 

... 

Page Break

Scales and Arpeggios (Aristocats) 

“Hmm, we should probably do some scales next.” The children groaned at her, and Bella smiled, remembering how much she had hated the dreaded singing exercises. She was always too shy to sing in front of a crowd without magick backing her. “Come on kids, scales are essential. If your pitch is off, you’ll never get to cast properly. But we need an instrument to accompany us, and I’ve sent Nikki away.” Time to begin her plan. “Oh! I know. Edward plays the piano; he could keep you all on note. Sarah, you sit with him, show him the notes.” 

Edward looked surprised to be called upon, but he was willing. Bella blinked a portable keyboard into the open field. The melody was simple, way below Edward’s skill-level, but he would enjoy little Sarah- she was an incredibly bouncy child. The children’s parents were beginning to gather at the grounds to pick them up, it wouldn’t do any harm to show off her lover a bit. She winked at Edward as he sat next to Sarah on the bench before turning her attention back to the beginners she would have to whip into shape. They were terribly out of tune with one another. 

Do mi do mi do so mi do   
Every truly cultured music student knows   
You must learn your scales and your arpeggios 

She pinched Nicolae's nose closed as he sang, admonishing him. 

Bring the music ringing from your chest   
And not your nose   
While you sing your scales and your arpeggios 

She finally raised her voice with the kids, giving them something to harmonize with besides the choppy piano notes. 

If your faithful to your daily practicing   
You will find you progress is encouraging   
Do mi so mi do me so mi fa la so it goes   
When you do your scales and your arpeggios 

Perhaps a bit of encouragement was needed. She began to manipulate the sound waves around her, letting the children hear what they could be if they would listen to one another. 

Do mi so do 

Do mi so do do so mi do   
Do mi so do do so mi do   
Though it seems at first it doesn't show   
Like a tree ability will bloom and grow   
If you're smart you'll learn by heart what every artist knows   
You must sing your scales   
And your arpeggios 

When the song ended, Edward struck a sudden flourish of notes on the end, showing off during a brief piano battle with Sarah, who was grinning madly. Bella shot him a mock-glare, but really, she was thrilled. This was perfect. A crowd was gathering now. Perhaps a small lesson, a promised reward. Yes, that would get the ball rolling. “Alright, alright, enough boring stuff. Let’s do some magick, whaddya say? If you can each pull off the small spell I am about to show you, and are patient and wait your turn, I’ll tell you a story after.” The kids nodded excitedly, both for the chance to cast a spell and their reward if they succeeded. 

Page Break

Little Bird, Little Bird 

Edward didn’t know what Bella was up to, but as she began her lesson with the children, he couldn't help but notice how natural she was with them. She would make an amazing mother. His mind unwillingly cast him back to the image of a bloodstained Bella holding the infant girl in the echoes. He couldn’t make Bella a mother, was that something she wanted? He broke off from his self-doubt at the whisper of magick in the air that arose as Bella sang a simple spell for the kids to try. 

Little bird, little bird   
Fly through my window   
Little bird, little bird   
Fly through my window   
Little bird, little bird   
Fly through my window   
Find molasses candy 

Through my window   
My sugar lump   
Fly through my window   
My sugar lump   
Find molasses candy 

The parents scattered around the field smiled nostalgically at the song; and Edward was startled when a small sparrow landed on Bella’s outstretched finger, tweeting with her music and obviously called by the spell. She turned to the kids. “Who knows a bird?” 

The little girl who had run for Rosalie waved her hand in the air excitedly. “Me! Chickadee!” 

Bella smiled at the young girl, who was maybe five or six. “What's a chickadee say?”   
“Chchchchchch” 

Bella held out a hand to the girl, who approached her, and helped the little girl form a perch with her small hand gently, singing with her. 

Chickadee, chickadee   
Fly through my window   
Chickadee, chickadee   
Fly through my window   
Chickadee, chickadee   
Fly through my window   
Find molasses candy 

Through my window   
My sugar lump   
Fly through my window   
My sugar lump   
And find molasses candy 

Sure enough, a small chickadee landed on the young girl’s hand, preening and chittering at her. The awestruck child petted the bird with her fingertip softly. The children grew excited. 

“Who knows another bird?”   
“Me! Jaybird!” Nicolae shouted. 

“And what does a jaybird say?”   
“Jayjayjayjayjayjay” 

Jaybird, jaybird   
Fly through my window   
Jaybird, jaybird   
Fly through my window   
Jaybird, jaybird   
Fly through my window   
Find molasses candy 

Bella supported Nicolae’s vocals slightly less than she had the little girl’s, but after an expectant moment, a jaybird landed on Nicolae’s outstretched hand. Little Sarah was next. 

“Who knows one more bird?”   
“I do! A whip-poor-will" Sarah struggled to pronounce the long word, and Bella smiled gently at the exuberant child. 

“Oh a hard one! What does a whippoorwill say? 

Sarah whistled. Bella sang the whole spell with her, helping her with the hand motions required to call the bird. 

Whippoorwill, whippoorwill   
Fly through my window   
Whippoorwill, whippoorwill   
Fly through my window   
Whippoorwill, whippoorwill   
Fly through my window   
Find molasses candy 

Through my window   
My sugar lump   
Fly through my window   
My sugar lump   
Find molasses candy 

When the whippoorwill landed on Sarah’s hand, her eyes lit up. She whistled softly at the bird, which responded with a trilling cry of its own. “Now everyone try. If you have trouble, just call for me, I’ll help.” 

Bella sat on the bench near the piano with Edward, taking his hand casually. He raised a playful eyebrow at her. “Not going according to plan, oh mischevious one?” 

“Just wait Edward. I always win.” She winked at him, and the sparrow from before landed on her shoulder, burying itself in her hair. “Willow! Get out of there! I am not going to be a part of your nest, little bird.” Bella exclaimed. 

“So Fae can call animals to them?” Carlisle enquired from where he sat on the ground a few feet away. “I didn’t know that.” 

“You guys haven’t hung out with a lot of Earth-affinities, and it's not a complicated skill, or particularly useful in battle. It is however, one of the first things we teach the kids. It helps them get a feel for the balance of the world and gives them an option to send for help if ever they should need it. Actually, a lot of the earth affinity has to do with animals. Heck, the earth’s blessing is the mark of transformation, the ability to change into whatever form you choose.” 

One by one, the children called birds to them, leaning on each other for help and delighting in the simple magick, rushing over to show Rosalie and Esme their new pets. What a remarkable world Edward found himself in. 

Page Break

The Bells of Notre Dame (Hunchback) 

Once the children had all managed to call the birds to themselves without help, Bella congratulated them. A suspicious-looking mother glared at Rosalie as she called to the dark-skinned girl-child. “Ntombi, time to come home.” 

Ntombi was talking excitedly to Rosalie about the cardinal she had called to her. “But Mo-om, QueenB promised us a story. Please can I stay just a minute longer?” 

Bella laughed, placing a hand on the mother’s shoulder as she quipped. “I did promise her, Nhamo. You can stick around too, you know. Rosalie would never harm Ntombi, or any other child.” 

The woman looked cowed, her suspicious expression fading. “My apologies, your majesty. Instinct is difficult to overcome. I do not blame the girl; it is simply in her vampiric nature.” 

“Don’t worry about it, I honor your effort to keep Ntombi safe. You have given much for her, and you love her very much. As I love Rosalie and her family. Stay, let me fulfill my promise.” 

“As you wish, my queen.” The woman inclined her head, calling Ntombi to her as the other children settled on the grass. Lilly sat in Rosalie’s lap with a child’s defiant glare, as though daring anyone to say anything and endure the tantrum that would surely follow. 

Bella smiled at Ntombi and Lilly both, then turned to the group at large with a twinkle in her eye. “What questions do you have for me, young ones? What preys on your thoughts? What story should I tell today?” 

“I want to know something!” Sarah shouted from the lap of a blonde woman, her mother. “My daddy says that the Cullens are nice vampires, and Miss Rosalie is my favorite watcher. But Auntie says that they shouldn’t be made Fae, that they want to suck my blood. Why are the Cullens different than us?” 

Nicolae cut in. “My daddy says that the Cullens are monsters and QueenB should kick them out of Camp.” 

Lilly cut in. “Miss Rosalie is too nice to be a monster! And Miss Esme always gives me extra ice cream at dinner. Monsters don’t give extra ice cream!” 

The children muttered in agreement with her, and several of the adult Fae in the crowd started to look ashamed. 

Bella simply raised her hands against the uproar, calling for silence. “Hmm. Well, I think your auntie and daddies are very wise, and you should always listen to what they have to say and respect what they think.” Bella shrugged. “But identifying monsters is really hard, one of the hardest things adults have to do. If you ever think someone might be a monster, you must tell a grown-up immediately. If you can’t find a grown-up to tell, tell me, and I’ll look into it.” 

“Don’t monsters look different from other people?” Ntombi asked quietly. 

Bella eyed her softly, compassion in her eyes. “Sometimes they do. But sometimes they look just like you and me. Hmm...I know a story that might help. Have you ever been to Paris?” 

Carlisle was shocked. Surely Bella wouldn’t tell the story of the Master’s release to these young kids! But his fears were allayed as Bella continued. “There is a place, in Paris. A big, old church called Notre Dame. Wanna hear a story about monsters and Notre Dame?” 

A chorus of “yes” and “please” rose from the kids, and Carlisle saw several of the adult Fae nod as well. 

“Okay, but remember the rules. If the story gets too scary, you have to do what?” 

“Flare!” the children chorused, already leaning forward expectantly. 

Josephat suddenly appeared behind Carlisle. “Oh, Bella’s telling a story? Clever girl, our queen. She can’t issue an order about the rumors surrounding your family without making them worse, so a story is the perfect way to get her opinion across without stirring up trouble. The adult-Fae probably learn more from Isabella’s stories than the kids do.” He shook his head. “This should be good. Prejudice is one of Isabella’s pet peeves.” 

Carlisle looked at his clever and sneaky daughter. “I guessed from the gala there was some trouble, but she’s never mentioned anything.” 

“Really? She and Kaedra have done almost nothing but deal with people’s assumptions about your nature since she submitted your line for candidacy. Even Marcos had heard some stuff about it, though his reaction was a little more violent and a lot less reasonable, so he’s mostly out of it by now. He made the first-years run laps from sun-up to sun-down for some hateful stuff about Emmett the other day.” 

Carlisle glanced at his soldier-son, watching Emmett’s eyes go wide as he overheard Jo’s statement. But then, Bella began her story, and Carlisle was swept up in images and echoes that awed him. 

The music began with a monk’s chant, before with the ringing of a bell, images flashe to consume the field. An aerial view of Paris grew closer and closer, zooming in on the docks as it panned from the grand Church across the city. 

Morning in Paris, the city awakes   
To the bells of Notre Dame   
The fisherman fishes, the bakerman bakes   
To the bells of Notre Dame   
To the big bells as loud as the thunder   
To the little bells soft as a psalm   
And some say the soul of the city is   
The toll of the bells   
The bells of Notre Dame 

Bella addressed the children, “You know, in the mortal world, bells don’t ring all by themselves.” 

“They don’t?” a small boy cut in. 

“No, silly boy. The mysterious bell ringer rings them. Hush now, and I’ll tell you a tale of a man, and a monster.” 

In the echoes, night fell over Paris, and the echoes focused on a group of Fae living under the docks, one with a small child and a bundle of blankets. 

Dark was the night when our tale was begun   
On the docks near Notre Dame 

Four frightened gypsies lived silently under   
The docks near Notre Dame 

But a trap had been laid for the gypsies   
And they gazed up in fear and alarm   
At a figure whose clutches   
Were iron as much as the bells 

The bells of Notre Dame 

As the villain appeared, the children looked suitably shocked at his thin, normal appearance. 

Judge Claude Frollo longed   
To purge the world   
Of vice and sin   
And he saw corruption   
Everywhere   
Except within 

Bella met Carlisle’s eyes, her own flooded with gold, before turning back to the tale. The Fae-mother with the infant bundled in her arms ran from the judge, and he pursued her, claiming her bundle was stolen goods. When they reached the church steps, and the woman began to call for sanctuary, Carlisle felt a shudder go through him. Human history was cruel, no-one knew better than he. 

Dies irae, dies illa   
(Dies irae, dies illa)   
Dies irae, dies illa   
(Dies irae, dies illa)   
Solvet saeclum in favilla   
Teste David cum sibylla   
Quantus tremor est futurus   
Quando Judex est venturus 

Gasps ran through the children as the woman was trampled on the church steps by the judges’ horse, but no aura flares went up. The children were too used to death, marked by the war that raged around them. Carlisle was suddenly very grateful for Bella’s storytelling; it took something so big as evil and brought it down to a child’s understanding. 

As the judge raised the child into the air, intending to dash it upon the steps, an abbot appeared suddenly, stopping him and singing his part of the story. 

See there the innocent blood you have spilt   
On the steps of Notre Dame 

Now you would add this child's blood to your guilt   
On the steps of Notre Dame 

You can lie to yourself and your minions   
You can claim that you haven't a qualm   
But you never can run from   
Nor hide what you've done from the eyes   
The very eyes of Notre Dame 

Bella took over, narrating the story and gazing at the infant with sorrow in her face. 

And for one time in his life   
Of power and control   
Frollo felt a twinge of fear   
For his immortal soul 

Bella revealed the child’s deformity to the children, who gasped at the infant’s disfigurement, looking puzzled and afraid. “But he’s a monster, isn’t he?” Nicolae shouted over the music. “He’s all mean looking!” Several children nodded behind him. “Are monsters born that way, do you think?” Bella asked. “This child, his name is Quasimodo.” Lilly gasped. “But that’s the mortal who saved Esmerelda and the gypsies from the pyre! He’s a hero!” Bella winked at the child, “Not all heroes are handsome, Lilly. Heroes are people, just like everyone.” she continued, telling the story in song, panning back to show the city of Paris once more as the child was taken into the church. 

Now here is a riddle to guess if you can   
Sing the bells of Notre Dame   
Who is the monster and who is the man? 

The Fae in the crowd were unsettled, but the children seemed to understand Bella’s meaning, caught up in the story and the echoes. 

Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells   
Bells, bells, bells, bells   
Bells of Notre Dame 

Bella’s high soprano stretched the last note as the echoes raced above the clouds and faded. She dismissed the crowd and sent the children to their parents, stopping to chat with several of the adults on the way. Carlisle was distracted from her when Ntombi pulled on his pant-leg. “I don’t think you’re a monster, Mr. Carlisle.” A shadow passed over the young girl's face. “Monsters are just people who make bad choices. You make good choices; you don’t hurt anybody even though you could. I hope you get to be Fae, so QueenB can be happy, Mr. Cullen.” Carlisle knelt, and embraced Ntombi gently in thanks. “Me too, child. Run along now.” As the dark-skinned girl turned away from him, Carlisle noticed a long scar across the child’s shoulder blades that extended all the way to the opposite hip under her shirt. Yes. The mark of war, indeed. 

Page Break

You’ll be in my Heart (Tarzan) 

Edward walked back to the Castle with Bella, alone for once as his family went ahead of them with Marcos, Kaedra, and Josephat. Marcos was deep in conversation with Emmett, and Kaedra and Jo were chatting amicably with Carlisle listening in. Esme and Rosalie were chatting with Ntombi’s mother and Alice and Jasper were nowhere to be seen, having snuck off for some alone time while Bella told her story. 

Edward wanted to ask Bella about the kids, about the infant in the echoes, but he didn’t quite know how. 

“Edward. Whatever you want to talk to me about, it’s okay you know. I’m unbound, and the shadow on your face is worrying me. Just ask.” 

Edward took the jump. “Bella, do you want children?” 

His love actually stopped walking in her shock, and Edward turned to face her. “Oh. Oh, Edward, I thought you would have realized.” Her face was defeated, devastated. “I like kids, really I do. But there is a reason there are so few Fae children in Camp. It is incredibly difficult for any Fae woman to conceive, and I will never have children.” 

Edward was almost relieved, but he had a feeling there was more to the story here. He asked curiously, “Why?” 

“Well, I guess that depends on who you ask. Normally, as Queen, it would be my duty to at least attempt to produce an heir. But remember, the Fae gene is recessive in the Swan line. Charlie never expressed his magic, and there is no guarantee any heir of mine would express. The Smith line ended with Adeline, so I suppose the recessives will be wiped out with me.” 

“Wouldn’t that increase the pressure on you to conceive?” Edward was confused now. 

“Oh darling. I can’t conceive. It’s not possible, Edward. Not everyone is aware of it, but Josephat broke the news to the ruling council after I ran off.” 

“Why? If you found a nice man, a human or a Fae..” 

His love looked at him sadly, caressing his face from brow to jaw. “Edward, you’re a vampire. I don’t want anyone else, not even for a purpose. But even if you weren’t, it wouldn’t matter. There’s too much damage.” Bella looked away from him, dark memories playing on her face. “I told you. Demetri was very good at his job.” 

Edward was shocked into utter stillness at his own idiocy. Of course. Bella had not been healed from her wounds with magick; that’s why she was covered in scars. There would’ve been extensive damage from the torture she had received, some of which had remained untreated. “Bella, my Bella. Oh love, I’m so sorry.” 

“It is just one theft among many, Edward. Don’t feel guilty. Besides, I get all the joy I need from the children in Camp. It’s very “a village to raise a child” around here. There are plenty of Fae women who cannot conceive, and parenthood is a burden meant to be shared. I experienced parenthood, Edward, as twisted and short-lived as it was. Children break your heart, it’s what they do.” 

Edward was silent, unsure of what to say, whether asking about the baby would help or hurt, and Bella continued. 

“We called her Rockabye, after the lullaby her mother sang to her as she died. She was amazing, Edward, a ray of light in a dark place. I’ve never searched for her, never tried to See. I’m not sure I even had enough of a connection to her to try, and it would break my heart all over again if I learned she was gone. Me and Addy, we’d sing to her, hold her close. She was so weak. It was hard to get her enough food. Addy was closer to her than me, absolutely desperate to save her. I was more guarded by that point, cautious of any connections that could be used as weapons. I do wonder, sometimes, if it was worth it in the end. I love to imagine a golden childhood for Josephat’s daughter. I know it kills him, not knowing where she is. Sometimes it kills me too.” 

Bella grew quiet, reflective. “I couldn’t bear to look before, but maybe...with you, with your family, everything has changed. Maybe I could look, now. I’ll think on it.” She shook herself and took his hand. “Come on, lets catch up. Your brooding thing is hot on you, but it’s a bad look for me.” 

She dragged Edward up to rejoin their family, and Edward caught Rosalie’s eyes as she dragged him to the front of the group. His mother and his first sister had heard every word of their conversation and looked wrecked. Rosalie’s mind was spinning with empathy for Bella, and questions about her own life: about whether her vampiric nature was the only cause for her own barrenness; about Bella’s heartbreak over the infant. Jasper sent her a wave of calm, and Edward nodded at her. 

One thought rang clear in Rosalie’s mind. If Bella could move on from the loss of her ability to conceive and the loss of Rockabye, maybe she could too. 

Edward cast the conversation from his thoughts and focused on Bella’s obvious joy when Nhamo and Ntombi joined them at the long table for dinner. His love was happy and bubbly, and even Rosalie was pulled from her thoughts by the engaging conversation. Alice and Jasper were in the attic when they returned home, looking rested and fresh. Edward conversed with his Sighted sister softly as Bella faded to sleep at a proper hour for once. 

The night passed peacefully until the witching hour, the moon beginning to set in the sky. Bella suddenly moaned in her sleep, turning on to her stomach and kicking her legs. “Tomas, please” Edward felt his breath stop. Bella’s voice was begging, full of despair. 

“No. No more. It hurts. Please.” 

His lover tossed her head wildly in a “no” motion, struggling to get away in her nightmare. Edward put a hand on Bella’s shoulder, shaking her softly, but she did not wake. 

Her movement grew more violent, mumbles escaping her quickly now. “NonononoAddyplease. Demetri, please. I’ll do it, just don’t hurt her.” 

Edward shook her more strongly. Bella’s heartbeat was accelerating quickly. “Bella, love. Wake up, you’re having a nightmare.” Esme had stopped her puttering in the kitchen, frozen with her eyes on them, and Carlisle had looked up from his book with panic on his face. Alice reached for Jasper, seeking comfort; Rosalie and Emmett came in from their bedroom. Bella cringed away from her lover, rolling into a protective ball. “Please. Stop.” 

Edward couldn’t bear it. He grasped Bella by both shoulders, shaking her once, violently. 

Then, he was pinned on his back with Bella straddling him, her eyes golden and sword extended. When she registered who he was, she collapsed against his chest, weeping and clutching at him, burying long, bloody fingers in his hair and nuzzling into the junction of his neck. “I’m sorry. It was just a bad one. Are you okay?” She hiccupped the words, gasping for breath. 

“Shh, Bella, it’s okay, your safe.” Edward wrapped his love in a tight embrace, for once barely tempering his strength as he crushed her to him protectively. “You didn’t hurt me, I’m fine. Shh. You’re awake now.” 

He felt his lover’s beating heart begin to slow in his hold and glanced up desperately at Carlisle. What were they going to do about Bella’s nightmares? Carlisle shook his head silently; he knew of no magick or mortal medicine that could stop Bella’s dreams. 

Edward devoted himself to comforting his lover as her breaths evened out. Rosalie came to sit on the edge of the futon, petting Bella’s hair cautiously where she rested on Edward’s chest. 

Edward almost thought his love was asleep once more, when her voice began to ring whisper-soft through the attic. 

Come stop your crying   
It will be alright   
Just take my hand   
And hold it tight 

Bella twisted one hand in his, as she sang Rockabye’s lullaby to her vampire family. 

I will protect you   
From all around you   
I will be here   
Don't you cry 

For one so small,   
You seem so strong   
My arms will hold you,   
Keep you safe and warm   
This bond between us   
Can't be broken   
I will be here   
Don't you cry 

She nuzzled into Edward and looked up at his blonde sister, inviting her to understand. 

You'll be in my heart   
No matter what they say   
You'll be here in my heart   
Always 

An echo of a dark-skinned baby, maybe two or three months old and wrapped in rags, appeared on the edge of the bed next to Rosalie, and his sister’s face was heartbroken as she reached for the skeletal child with the exceptional hazel eyes. 

Always I'll be with you   
I'll be there for you always   
Always and always 

Bella reached out for the echo too, untangling her hand from where it had been in Edward’s and brushing at the tuft on black hair on the little girl’s head. 

Just look over your shoulder   
Just look over your shoulder   
Just look over your shoulder   
I'll be there 

The echo stayed for almost an hour, Bella watching Rosalie pet the child’s hair and comfort her. When Bella finally closed her eyes to sleep again, the sun was beginning to turn the sky a lighter blue.   
“Always.” Bella mumbled, falling gently back into sleep. Edward looked at Rosalie’s eyes, which were focused on Emmett, as the echo of Josephat’s daughter faded from view. Venom-tears were pooled in her gaze; but a soft, peaceful smile was on her face.


	19. Choices

Tomas is a dick, a super-dick. Someone kill this evil jerk please. 

Ya’ll! I got no reviews last chapter! I’m so bummed about it. 

TRIGGERS: REALLY VIOLENT AND DARK IMAGERY. LOTS OF IT. 

Dedicated to the artists who speak to me 

Links: 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73317253/breakdown-18-choices 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1SYXDb1pHEdEcFC6Z6nQW6?si=pDD8VirzS2agkfKIc7Ke9A 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WB__EnqmTF4vEcqC0uEvL2d 

AO3: 

Page Break  
Leave My Body 

Edward really should've known better than to leave Bella on her own the next day. Bella had slept until almost mid-day; but could avoid her duties no longer. 

Lizzie had apologized profusely when she woke her Queen. Josephat had taken the day for himself, sending word for Bella to please take care of herself, and he would return tomorrow morning and had better find her in one piece. Marcos had taken sadistic glee in delivering Jo’s message to Isa in great detail; apparently, he was still a little sore about having to deal with his own rowdy men. When Edward had said as much, Marcos had laughed. 

“Well of course I’m ornery! You try dealing with those idiot first-years and their foolishness. They are so preoccupied with physical strength; they neglect their own character. Your brother is fairly refreshing to work with. I guess all that life makes you guys more experienced with dealing with your flaws. You know, if vampires could do magick, you guys would be unstoppable.” 

Edward nodded, pleased by Marcos’ unexpectedly easy manner with him for once. Marcos had grown suddenly serious though, looking at Edward with expectation in his eyes. “With a little training, you might actually be a pretty good defender for Isa. You certainly care enough.” 

“Wow, Marcos, coming from you; that’s saying something.” Kaedra stood in the doorway of the attic. “That’s his way of saying you’re a little weakling and he’s dying to whip you into shape, Edward.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’d let Alex whip him first.” 

So, Edward had kissed Bella softly and gone to the training grounds, hoping he could learn something to help him protect his love from her enemies. He had forgotten Bella’s biggest enemy was herself. 

After he had learned to overcome the freezing spell that held him hostage in dangerous situations and got ground into the dirt by a few of the warriors in Bella’s service, Edward called it quits for the day. Alex promised him he could return whenever he had time and she would help him. 

Edward was proud and determined as he headed to Bella’s office. He met up with Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme on the way, who were headed to drop off medical reports, budgets, and a status update on the first years; they all wanted to check on Bella after her rough night, see how her day was going. 

When Edward opened the door to Bella’s office, he thought for just a moment that his lover was meditating. Her lotus pose had grown familiar over his time in Havana. Then Bella’s body shuddered, echoes of her past self and a glowing white figure wrapped in chains shaking and flashing around her unsteadily. 

She convulsed, and Edward ran to kneel at her side, Carlisle close behind, already telling Jasper to find Josephat. Bella did not acknowledge their presence in any way, it’s like they weren’t even there. Edward’s senses suddenly processed the smell of Bella’s blood and followed it. Her blood coated a small knife lying innocently on the floor next to her, and Edward found an orderly set of lacerations over the brand on his lover’s left shoulder. “Carlisle.” He revealed the knife and the self-inflicted wounds to his father, only to hear Alice gasp from behind him, clutching at Esme’s hand. 

“That’s an iobairt. The Seers use them to make sacrifices and improve their Sight. Bella’s forcing a vision.” His sister shuddered, her mind filled with images of what Fae Seers did to reveal the past, present, and future. Edward couldn’t focus on the images, they frightened him. “How do we stop it, Alice?” 

“An iobairt throws you far away from your body. But the blood sacrifice is still new. Maybe if--” 

Bella shuddered again, and the white silhouette jerked on the chains that connected it to Bella’s physical form, disconnecting all but the biggest one. When Bella stilled and opened her eyes, they were blinded white. 

I'm gonna be released from behind these lines   
And don't care whether I live or die   
And I'm losing blood, I'm gonna leave my bones   
And I don't want your heart it leaves me cold 

“It’s too late now!” Alice cried. “The white thing, it’s Bella’s spirit form, her mental presence. I’ve never seen one in chains before. Wherever she’s gone, she’s stuck there until the iobairt releases her from her sacrifice. Jo—Thank God.” 

Josephat rushed into the office, looking more exhausted than Edward had ever seen him. “What has she done? Oh.” Josephat took in the iobart on the floor. “Oh shit. Why? What could she possibly want to See so badly? Kaedra told me she had a vision yesterday, could this be related?”’ He rolled his sleeves to his elbows, approaching with haste. “Where did she cut, Carlisle? Edward, Alice, watch her mental form, make sure nothing harms it. Goddammit, I’m gonna kill her.” 

I don't want your future   
I don't need your past   
One grand moment   
Is all I ask 

Bella convulsed, and suddenly her glowing spirit was holding Rockabye. 

I'm gonna leave my body (Moving up to higher ground)   
I'm gonna lose my mind (History keeps pulling me down)   
Said I'm gonna leave my body (Moving up to higher ground)   
I'm gonna lose my mind (History keeps pulling me, pulling me down) 

When they called Josephat’s attention to the change, the healer’s hands stilled, still glowing with healing magick. “She’s looking for her. My daughter. Isabella is looking for my daughter.” The magick faded from his hands. “I-- I can’t. I won’t lose one precious person to find another. I won’t.” Josephat’s hands lit up again, pouring blue-magick into Bella, whose eyes flashed black, her form stiffening and jerking choppily. She looked like she was having a seizure, but her lotus position did not change. Josephat distractedly passed a strand of magick to Carlisle. “Stop the bleeding. It will help break her from the vision. Stupid, selfless girl. I’m gonna kill her.” 

I don't need a husband, don't need no wife   
And I don't need the day, I don't need the night, the night   
Don't need the birds let them fly away   
And I don't want the clouds, they never seem to stay 

A dark shadow appeared behind Bella’s spirit, grabbing her in a chokehold and licking the silhouette's face obscenely. Alice cried out in warning. Bella fell from her stiff form, convulsing on the floor as her eyes were consumed with black, only occasional flashes of white and weak gold. Carlisle couldn’t get the lacerations over Bella’s brand to close and told Josephat so. Edward could smell burning flesh. 

“NO. You come back, Isabella. You come back right now.” Josephat was panicking. 

I don't want no future (Want your future)   
I don't need no past (Need no past)   
One grand moment (One grand moment)   
Is all I ask 

I don't want no future (Want your future)   
I don't need no past (Need no past)   
One grand moment (One grand moment)   
Is all I ask 

With one last convulsion that arched Bella’s spine off the floor, the white form flared brightly, and the shadow that had held her captive disappeared. 

I'm gonna leave my body (Moving up to higher ground)   
I'm gonna lose my mind (History keeps pulling me down)   
Said I'm gonna leave my body (Moving up to higher ground)   
I'm gonna lose my, lose my mind (History keeps pulling me, pulling me down) 

Bella was still for a long second as the cast echoed around them, the song powerful, building from far away. 

Pulling me down (And it's pulling me down)   
Pulling me down (And it's pulling me down)   
Pulling me down (And it's pulling, pulling me down)   
Pulling me, pulling me down 

An image appeared. A young, dark-skinned girl, no older than two or three, with a red cloth wrapped around her hair and exceptional hazel eyes. The girl was gazing at them as though she could see them, before dissolving away slowly. 

I'm gonna leave my body (Moving up to higher ground)   
I'm gonna lose my mind (History keeps pulling me down)   
Said I'm gonna leave my body (Moving up to higher ground)   
I'm gonna lose my, lose my mind (History keeps pulling me, pulling me down) 

Said I'm gonna leave my body (Moving up to higher ground)   
Gonna lose my mind (History keeps pulling me down)   
(Moving up to higher ground, history keeps pulling me, pulling me down) 

Bella’s form stilled. She blinked her eyes until they were doe-brown once more, but there was no quip, no “Hi guys, when did you get here?”. One second Bella was convulsing on the floor, and the next she was shimmering into her battle-dress with a snarl, pushing up from the floor and headed towards the door. “Esme, get Marcos and Keadra. Now. We’re going to get her, Jo. I’m gonna kill that bastard.” 

Page Break  
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark 

Ooh oh oh oh, ooh oh oh oh   
Be careful making wishes in the dark   
Can't be sure when they've hit their mark   
And besides in the meantime I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart 

Jasper took in Bella’s emotional state with shock. His Fae-sister was furious, enraged, murderous. He heard himself hiss at her instinctually as she approached him and Emmett in the hall outside her office. Bella threw him into the wall telekinetically, not even looking at him as she stalked towards the council chamber. 

I'm in the details with the devil   
So now the world can never get me on my level   
I just got to get you out of the cage   
I'm a young lovers rage   
Gonna need a spark to ignite   
My songs know what you did in the dark 

“Kaedra better get her pretty little ass down here. I’ll need to give her my signet before we leave. Marcos- There you are. We need access to the badlands. You need to convince the portal guard to look the other way. Hurry. Come to council when you’re done.” 

So light em up up up, light em up up up,   
light em up up up, I'm on fire   
So light em up up up, light em up up up,   
light em up up up, I'm on fire 

“Isa, this is insane, what’s--” Bella grabbed Marcos by his vest and pulled him in close, her eyes narrowed. 

Ooh oh oh oh (In the dark, in the dark)   
Ooh oh oh oh (In the dark, in the dark) 

“Someone is going to die tonight, Marcos. One way or another. Unless you want it to be you, I would suggest you follow my orders. Am I your Queen or not?” She shoved her commander away violently. “Jo, Edward, Alice, Carlisle, you’re staying here. Jasper and Emmett, you are part of the Core. I will not order you to stay, but I would certainly recommend it.” 

All the writers keep writing what they write   
Somewhere another pretty vein just dies   
I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see   
That you're the antidote to everything except for me 

Those she was leaving behind yowled protests, but Bella’s eyes flashed black and then flaming gold, and she whirled to face them in front of the doors to the council chamber. “Be quiet. This is not a debate. If you want to fight about it, throw a punch. Otherwise, shut the fuck up and get out of my way.” Her aura was gold fire, and her face dared them to try her. 

A constellation of tears on your lashes   
Burn everything you love   
Then burn the ashes   
In the end everything collides 

Jasper’s head was spinning with the emotions in the room, but he took up position on one side of his sister silently, Emmett took the other, with Marcos re-joining them from wherever he had flashed to, taking his position protecting Bella’s flank. Kaedra threw open the council doors, looking upset; and Bella tossed her a small jewel before she could speak a word. 

My childhood spat back the monster that you see   
My songs know what you did in the dark 

So light em up up up, light em up up up,   
light em up up up, I'm on fire   
So light em up up up, light em up up up,   
light em up up up, I'm on fire 

She clapped her hands, and the room disappeared. 

Page Break  
Cowboy Casanova 

It was night, that strange time of day when the sun has set but the stars have not come out. The smell of smoke and something worse burned in Jasper’s nostrils. The city was cloaked in malevolent firelight from pyres burning in random intervals along the street, some burning high; others were already burnt out, with ashy forms of half-burnt corpses throwing long shadows that danced uncontrollably with the flames, making the light change around them constantly. 

Around the pyres, women danced madly to jeers and slurs from the crowds of men, some of them engaged in depraved acts with bound others. Screams and shouts echoed in the air around them. Jasper’s eyes rested briefly on a girl held captive with a chain around her neck, her face submissive and blank, even once she saw him. Bella wasted no time, not even looking around her as she grabbed another of the filthy women near them. “Where is he?” 

The teen shook, tears pooling in her eyes; she pointed meekly down the street to a gothic castle that towered over the others, cast in black stone. Bella cast her aside gently, walking quickly towards the imposing towers. Jasper and Emmett drew nearer to her, and Jasper felt the fear and disgust rolling off Emmett in waves. He bolstered his brother with a shot of confidence and protectiveness, turning his head to track Marcos as they entered the castle’s gates. 

When Jasper turned back, Bella’s flooded golden gaze was on him. Jasper noticed the strange gothic black that bled from where it was painted around her eyes. 

You better take it from me   
That boy is like a disease   
You're runnin' and tryin' and tryin' to hide   
And you're wondering why you can't get free 

As they entered the courtyard in front of the towers, the level of violent hedonism around them increased, becoming more than depraved; it was evil in its purest form. A young girl in the corner of his eye was feasting on a bloody organ that’s scent was human, as black-clad soldiers placed bets. Jasper couldn’t stop a shudder from wracking him. 

Bella lifted a glass of champagne from a plate borne by a panicked-looking boy, snatching the silver platter from the boy’s hands and throwing it hard at Tomas’ head in an unseen motion. It struck the evil man who sat near the bonfire with his back to them. 

The courtyard fell dead silent, the only sound the crackling of the bonfire and the sound of faraway violence. 

“Hello, honey. Having a good night?” Bella sneered, and Tomas turned slowly, standing as he twisted to face them and casting aside a young woman with dark hair, who spat fluid onto the floor as he threw her off him. He tucked himself back into his pants lazily, his face transforming from boredom to sick excitement. 

He's like a curse; he's like a drug   
You get addicted to his love   
You wanna get out, but he's holding ya down   
'Cause you can't live without one more touch 

“Isssssssabella, how nice of you to join us. We’re celebrating. I’d ask if you wanted a drink, but I see you’ve already acquired one. Perhaps something a bit stronger?” A glowing blue vial materialized in Tomas’ outstretched hand, and he ran it across his knuckles, twirling it so it caught the firelight. Bella laughed, but the sound contained no mirth—only hatred. “Where’s your worm: Erik? I do hope you didn’t kill him for letting me pass. Staff changes create so many weak points.” 

“I know why you’re heeee-eere.” Tomas sing-songed, his mood turning gleeful. “Come closer baby, stay awhile. The girl-child will be brought out soon enough. I can see why you saved her, she’s very gifted. Why, I had to convince the Master not to absorb her Sight, so I could set up our little date.” 

He's a good time cowboy Casanova   
Leaning up against the record machine   
He looks like a cool drink of water   
But he's candy-coated misery 

Bella paused, shocked, before reigning in her emotions and glancing back at her soldiers. Then, she drank heavily from her champagne glass, before handing it to Marcos and walking toward Tomas with a deliberate sway in her hips. Her voice was calm and collected as she insulted Tomas, her emotions distant. “Did wittle-Tomas have a fight with daddy? Poor pet.” 

“Careful, you’re in my territory. And I’d love to have you kiss it better.” 

Bella’s face remained blank at the clear threat; but Emmett growled, bloodlust welling in his brother. Jasper smothered him with calm, leaning on his experience with newborns heavily. 

“So rude of you not to introduce your new friends, Isabella. Strange company you keep.” 

“Emmett; Marcos. And I believe you already know Jasper.” Bella’s smile was wicked. “Tell me, how are your guards? Jasper certainly dealt them a fair blow at our last meeting, I hope the Master was kind to them.” 

Tomas’ emotions darkened, and he snapped his fingers; a dead-face steward appeared, carrying a platter filled with lines of cocaine. Tomas took a long snort, rubbing the powder across his teeth as Bella stretched out languidly on a loveseat cattycorner to him. She took on a bored affect, leaning her head against her hand and propping herself on one elbow. Jasper and Marcos shared a loaded look as they took up position on either side of her, forcing Emmett to stand behind Bella. 

He's the devil in disguise   
A snake with blue eyes   
And he only comes out at night   
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight   
You better run for your life 

“I can admit you thrashed me quite thoroughly at our last encounter. Did you enjoy my gift? Your mortal father’s face was ecstatic as I crushed him.” 

Bella’s face was dangerous: her eyes golden, voice soft. “Don’t think I’ll forgive you what you did, Tomas.” 

“What I did, my dear? You brought it on yourself, you always do. Why, like little Rockabye. You killed her mother, and she will die because of you. It took me so long to find her, wherever did you find that clever guard?” 

“I hope Jason tore your forces to shreds, babe.” 

Dark satisfaction rose in Bella as Tomas’ glared, showing his emotions on his face. He clapped his hands together, and the crowd began to part in a long path. 

I see that look on your face   
You ain't hearing what I say   
So I'll say it again 'cause I been where ya been   
And I know how it ends, you can't get away   
Don't even look in his eyes   
He'll tell you nothing but lies   
And you wanna believe that you won't be deceived   
If you listen to me and take my advice 

Erik was approaching them through the crowd, his face hard and cruel. He was missing his left hand, and the stump was filled with foul infection. With him, —Jasper flinched as he felt his own emotions grow dangerous, the tang of bloodlust in the back of his throat. Walking next to Erik was the tan girl from Bella’s vision in the office, her face painted into a vivid skull and a chain around her neck. Rockabye. 

He's a good time cowboy Casanova   
Leaning up against the record machine   
He looks like a cool drink of water   
But he's candy-coated misery   
He's the devil in disguise   
A snake with blue eyes   
And he only comes out at night   
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight   
You better run for your life 

Jasper looked back to Bella, who had kept her eyes on her enemy, watching as Tomas’ eyes were consumed with hateful black. She had known the Master would not miss this particular show, and Jasper felt primal fear begin to rise within the Fae Queen, though her eyes remained flames of gold that eerily reflected the light of the bonfire. 

Run, run away, don't let him mess with your mind   
He'll tell you anything you wanna hear   
He'll break your heart; it's just a matter of time   
But just remember 

Marcos suddenly moved, striking out at Erik’s stump, his weak point. As Erik dropped the chain and clutched at his wound, gasping, Marcos grabbed the girl-child away from him. Tomas flashed to the loveseat, reaching for Bella’s neck; but Emmett anticipated him, throwing him away before he could touch her and leaping over the barrier of Bella to strike at him. Jasper rushed to contain the crowd already swelling to attack Marcos where he protected the precious child, throwing punches and baring his teeth. He managed to subdue the crowd before things could get out of control, sending a massive wave of lethargy towards them. Silent tears were pouring from Josephat’s daughter, but she did not struggle or put up a fight when Marcos threw her over his shoulder. Bella smirked with bloodlust in her smile, sitting up and stretching languidly before she flashed to break Tomas’ fingers where he had thrown them out to form a fireball against Emmett. She tutted, her long fingers closing around Tomas’ windpipe. 

“So much effort, and you disadvantaged your own guard before the climax. Honestly, Tomas, I don’t envy you this evening. Be nice, and I might even kill you before the Master arrives. Always a day late and a dollar short, honey.” 

He's a good time cowboy Casanova   
Leaning up against the record machine   
He looks like a cool drink of water   
But he's candy-coated misery   
He's the devil in disguise   
A snake with blue eyes   
And he only comes out at night   
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight   
You better run for your life 

It was Tomas’ turn to smile. “Oh baby, the Dark has always been so hot on you. But it is not me who is at a disadvantage.” A soldier in a dark cloak levitated above the bonfire, slitting his own throat in such a way that the blood sprayed over the crowd. Jasper saw Bella’s eyes widen and she cursed, turning from Tomas to Emmett; before multiple members of Tomas’ forces followed the soldier’s example: cutting into the bound women or inflicting wounds on themselves, coating the ground with fresh blood that formed pools. Jasper unwillingly dropped his guard for just a second, enticed by the sweet scent of the red around him. 

Oh, you better run for your life 

Just like that, it was over. Jasper was pinned, frozen to the ground, and bound in iron chains that burned through him. He heard Emmett scream as similar chains wrapped his brother. Marcos was overwhelmed by the crowd, still struggling to hold on to the toddler as he was shoved to his knees. Erik struck him in the ribs with a low punch and kicked him repeatedly. Bella still had her hands around Tomas’ neck, but the man’s face was stretched in pleasure as a soldier brought Rockabye to where he and Bella stood. 

Oh, you better run for your life 

Page Break  
Too Good at Goodbyes 

Emmett looked up from where his guard had thrown him at Tomas’ feet, in line now with Jasper and Marcos, who was in rough shape. Tomas’ eyes were still coated in black, though the blue of his irises glowed through. He removed Bella’s lax hands from his neck, kissing each palm softly as though in comfort. 

“So close, Isabella. I’m quite impressed by your loved ones.” His tone turned dirty and seductive. “They will always be nothing but a weakness. When will you learn that?” 

He shook his head indulgently. “It’s no fun when you’re predictable, babe.” He turned Bella so her back was to him, and Bella did not fight him as the sonofabitch put his hands on her hips, rubbing his thumbs over her dress with his triumphant gaze on Emmett. 

“Let’s play a game, honey. I’ll issue an order and count to five. If you follow it, I’ll let one of them go, let them run back to your pathetic little hole in the wall for help. If you don’t, well...” Tomas motioned to the guard with a boot on Jasper’s back, and suddenly the soldier was holding a ball of fire. “Vampires are so flammable, aren’t they? I’m sure your wild friend would burn as well, though maybe not quite so quickly.” Tomas looked pensive for a moment, his eyes flashing blue before they were consumed once more. Bella couldn’t hold back a shudder, and Tomas took a deep breath, dipping one hand inwards along her pelvis while he brought the other one up to Bella’s face, sliding it up her body lewdly. 

“A kiss, Isabella. One.” 

Bella was frozen, her eyes on her captive friends as the gold faded from them. 

“Two.” 

She shifted her gaze to Rockabye, taking in the child’s form, the tear-tracks on her young face. Her eyes faded further, a hazy white sheen falling over them, and the girl-child's eyes turned white too. 

Tomas struck out like a snake, flashing between Bella and the girl and slapping Bella hard across the face, knocking her to the ground. Emmett struggled helplessly against the iron that bound him, and the soldier with the fireball watched him, allowing the fire he held to flare. 

“Three, and four. I don’t like your clever tricks, honey. Shall I keep counting? Your Jasper would burn quickly.” 

Bella’s gaze turned doe-brown once more, but Rockabye had stopped crying, looking at Bella with new affection and protective worry. 

Bella slinked up from the floor in a fluid motion, and granted Tomas his request, touching her lips to his reluctantly and standing perfectly still as Tomas licked into her mouth obscenely. The evil man moaned before he shot Emmett a wicked grin, and Emmett moved him to the top of the kill-list in his mind. 

Bloodlust still raged in him, made even worse by the scent that surrounded him and Tomas’ provocative actions, Bella’s subservience. Hopelessness welled in Emmett as he flexed again, the iron burning hotter and tightening on his wrists. 

“Emmett.” Bella’s voice was full of warning, authoritative. “Be still.” 

“Ba-abe, you never let me have my fun. I love watching you watch them squirm.” 

Tomas had not backed away from Emmett’s Fae-sister, and he reached for her again, digging his nails into Bella’s shoulders and pulling her stiff form closer. “Too bad this isn’t the good ole’ days. I’d have given you a hell of a show, Emmett. Fuck, I might have let you participate. I can be very persuasive.” 

Emmett growled, not liking the implications of that statement one bit, and pissed that the asshole had addressed him directly. “Burn in hell, bastard. I look forward to your lifeblood on my tongue.” 

“Your friend’s snark has just earned you a demerit, Isabella. I think a restraint will be proper punishment.” 

Bella didn’t do anything but shoot Tomas an annoyed glare as three black-clad soldiers bound her arms behind her back, tying her tightly from shoulder blades to wrist with complicated knots and chanting under their breath. Emmett stilled his struggles and shut up. 

“I must say, I had almost forgotten how pretty you looked all trussed up. I like the dress. It’d look good on my floor. Knees, Isabella.” 

Bella knelt on the ground at Tomas’ feet, bending over awkwardly because of the way her hands were tied, but with the ease of long practice. Tomas tapped his chin thoughtfully. “This game isn’t as much fun as I expected from you. Where’s all that passion, fire, defiance? No, wait, I see. It’s far too simple. We’ve played this way too many times before. Let’s skip to the final level. Always time for the fun stuff after.” 

Sudden alarm flared on Bella’s face, panic briefly filling her gaze as she looked at her brothers desperately. 

“You know how this goes, Isabella. Time to repay your debt. I’ll be generous here, since the girl is still young. I’ll give you a full minute to decide. Your new friends and your guard? Or the child?” 

Bella’s face was frantic now, her binds beginning to smoke. She remained pointedly silent as her emotions betrayed her. 

Jasper felt a moment, not even a full second, of uncertainty from her. Then, there was only blankness, colored with Bella’s determination. Jasper sent a prayer to a God he didn’t really believe in that Bella would choose him and her other protectors to die, eyeing the soldier with the dagger in his hand behind the toddler. He committed the man’s face to memory, just in case. Bella could be very stubborn. 

“Thirty seconds, Isabella. Don’t be droll.” 

Bella snapped her bonds, struggling to her feet. Her tear-filled eyes flashed white for just a second as her hair swung in front of her face, hiding it from Tomas. 

When only five seconds were left in her allotted time, Bella raised her hand, silently pointing towards Rockabye with her eyes beginning to flash rapidly between gold and blinded white. 

Tomas nodded at the soldier behind the child, motioning for him to pause and looking surprised as he took in Bella’s blank, dead face. “What are you--” Before Tomas could finish his sentence, the world exploded. 

Page Break  
Stand My Ground 

The earth shook violently, and Jasper felt the soldier’s boot on his back fall away. Jasper leapt up, prepared to engage the soldier despite his binds, but the man’s fireball had already grown to consume his form, burning him alive as he panicked and flailed. 

Rockabye was halfway to where Bella and Tomas stood, sprinting hard; and Bella punched Tomas in the gut hard before she turned to gather the child in her arms, balancing her on one hip as she pointed at the three of them and uttered a word Jasper didn’t understand. The enchanted iron that had held him fell to them ground uselessly, and the relief that encompassed Bella was almost hysterical in its strength. She tossed Rockabye to Emmett and turned back to Tomas. Throughout the entirety of the courtyard, men were hanging in midair, struggling to breathe against Bella telekinetic hold on their necks. “So close, Tomas.” 

Bella parroted the man’s words back to him as he caught his breath, straightening from his bent position to take in his soldiers hanging suspended in midair. “Impossible.” 

“You would be amazed at what’s possible in the name of love. Too bad you’ll never know. Your turn to choose. You can let us leave peacefully, or I can start with your soldiers and end with you. They’re nothing but a weakness, honey. When will you learn that?” 

I can see   
When you stay low, nothing happens   
Does it feel right? 

Late at night   
Things I thought, I put behind me   
Haunt my mind 

“Master is going to kill you.” 

“He’s not my Master, Tomas. He is yours though, so I would recommend a wise choice.” 

I just know there's no escape now   
Once it sets its eyes on you   
But I won't run, have to stare it in the eye 

Stand my ground, I won't give in   
No more denying, I got to face it   
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside   
If I don't make it, someone else will stand my ground 

For just a moment, Bella’s eyes were as consumed with black as Tomas’ were, and Jasper felt unreasonable fear at the mirror image. 

It's all around   
Getting stronger, coming closer   
Into my world   
(My world) 

I can feel   
That it's time for me to face it   
Can I take it? 

“Thirty seconds, baby. No rush.” 

Though this might just be the ending   
Of the life I held so dear   
But I won't run, there's no turning back from here 

The time passed, Tomas stony face did not change, he did not decide. “So hypocritical. You constantly underestimate me, and I have no doubt you will pay for it in blood. Have it your way.” 

Stand my ground, I won't give in   
No more denying, I got to face it   
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside   
If I don't make it, someone else will stand my ground 

The suspended soldiers were panicking, betrayed and frantic because of their leader’s indecision. Jasper heard the snap of neck bones, and the soldiers who had wounded themselves to distract he and Emmett fell to the ground, limp and unseeing. 

All I know for sure is I'm trying   
I will always stand my ground 

Anger and rage painted the faces of Tomas’ suspended forces now, and Tomas’ eyes faded back to their natural blue. “Clever. Very clever.” 

Stand my ground, I won't give in   
(I won't give in)   
I won't give up   
(I won't give up)   
No more denying, I got to face it   
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside   
If I don't make it, someone else will 

Bella’s nose began to bleed from the effort of the magick she was casting. Tomas realized she couldn’t hold it for much longer and began to circle her in the battle dance Jasper had seen before, stretching time to see how long Bella could last. Bella did not return the circle, a wicked grin painting her gothic painted face in the firelight as an unnaturally amplified and terrifying scream rang through the badlands. 

“Enjoy your evening, baby. See you soon.” Bella blew Tomas a kiss, and the wicked man lunged for her just as a portal opened, sweeping Bella, Jasper, Emmet,Marcos, and Rockabye back to safety. 

Stand my ground, I won't give in   
No more denying, I got to face it   
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside   
If I don't make it, someone else will stand my ground 

Page Break  
Zydrate Anatomy (Repo!) 

Emmett took a moment to process the last three minutes of his life before he turned to Bella in the massive dining hall of Castle HQ, already moving to sweep his sister into a celebratory spin. 

He stopped in his tracks the moment he saw Bella’s face. “Mar-cos.” Bella’s word was halting as she called her commander’s attention to her. She spat blood on to the floor, pulling something from the side of her neck before she stumbled and fell, eyes turning an electric neon blue. 

An empty needle clinked as it landed on the tile.


	20. Love

UPDATE: I AM SO STINKIN PROUD OF THIS CHAPTER. It’s really, really, really long. Like twelve thousand words. I thought about breaking into two, but then I didn’t. Maybe I should have? Let me know. 

If you need to take a break, I recommend taking one after Deora Ar Mo Chroi. It gets fairly intense after that for a long minute. 

Pleasepleasepleeeeeeaaaassssee share your thoughts. 

ONE REVIEW LAST CHAPTER! RKD-CULLEN, this is for you, you awesome-sauce!! 

Is something wrong? TELL ME PLEASE!! 

We’re gonna be jumping time around JUST a touch, so I can show you what everyone was up to during Bella’s badassery last chapter. Enjoy. 

Also, the first scene is sort of an excerpt. Marcos is so cool and cynical and tortured. Damn, dude. Hard knock life. 

Dedicated to those I have loved. Thanks for loving me. 

SMUT AHEAD!!! LOTS OF IT! AW YEAH, ITS THAT TIME. NSFW smex. 

Triggers for drug use, suicidal ideology, and bloodplay (did I mention the smut? Edward IS a vampire, ya’ll.) Also, some Edward-emotional-whump. He goes through a lot in this chapter. 

Links: 

DeviantArt: 

https://www.deviantart.com/faeshadows/gallery/73348061/breakdown-19-love 

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5VFdNGD4uraGaMY4IaluUU?si=hYxxYKpLScePRdSEzp4OMw 

Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WBjrH3K4VloeS-C9zen8Qcf 

Ao3: 

Page Break

Zydrate Anatomy (Repo!) 

Marcos rushed to where Bella had fallen as quickly as his battered form could take him; seeing her suddenly sated face as he approached, her glowing eyes. “No. NO. Please. Not this. Anything, everything but this. That sonofabitch. Bella. Isa, can you hear me?” 

Bella’s eyes were unfocused as she reached to trace her fingers through her commander’s hair and Marcos cradled her form, pulling her off the floor and into his arms, resting her head on his knees. 

“I can't feel nothing at all...” Bella almost moaned the words. 

Marcos cried out as a heavy guitar began to ring violently through the dining hall. The noise called the attention of any Fae who were nearby to come see. Jasper had already run to find help and gather his family. Marcos’ next words were bitter and apathetic, spoken in rhythm. 

Drug market, sub-market,   
Sometimes I wonder why I ever got in.   
Blood market, love market,   
Sometimes I wonder why they need me at all. 

Emmett overcame his shock and approached his brave commander and his sister. “What do we do?” 

“Nothing, there is nothing to do but wait. Even Jo won’t be able to help her until at least tomorrow morning. She’s too far gone.” 

“Okay, so that epically sucks: may Tomas burn in hell for all eternity. But Bella’s not in pain, right? She’ll just trip out, and tomorrow she’ll be ok?”   
Marcos barked a bitter laugh. “Trip out? Pain? No. Your sister is not feeling any pain at the moment. She’s not feeling anything at all. See, zydrate comes in a little glass vial, and the little glass vial goes into the gun like a battery.” 

Bella’s back arched suddenly where Marcos held her limp form, her eyes swirling and flaring, sparking like blue neon. A quiet moan escaped her, a strange breathy sound in a rhythm. 

Hhh-hhh... 

Marcos’ only response was to tilt her head towards him and look into her eyes, then tilt Bella’s head in his grasp, checking the puncture site. 

And the zydrate gun goes somewhere against your anatomy. 

Hhh-hhh... 

Marcos words and Bella’s breath matched rhythm now, forming a halting, angry beat. The Cullens and Josephat were rushing towards them in the small crowd that parted in pathways to let them through. 

Marcos’ angry voice rang through the silent room, only broken by Edward’s cry of despair when he was close enough to see Bella’s limp form. Emmett met his brother’s eyes as he crashed to his knees next to Bella. “She’s not dead, Edward. She’s gonna be okay.” But Emmett suddenly wasn’t so sure Bella was going to be okay, and Edward could read it in his thoughts. 

And when the gun goes off, it sparks   
And you're ready for anything! 

When Edward touched Bella’s cheekbones gently, taking in her glowing blue gaze for himself, Bella’s back arched again, reaching for Edward blindly with her eyes on Marcos. When Bella blinked, her eyelids were as slow and sultry as her voice, and Emmett could see her lashes brush her skin before they opened again, backed by vivid blue irises. 

Graverobber, graverobber,   
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.   
Graverobber, graverobber,   
Sometimes I wonder why I need you at all! 

Marcos grew angrier, and threw Bella’s limp form at Edward and Emmett, getting up from his knees to pace a path, never taking his eyes from Bella’s form. “And our queen is addicted to the knife. And addicted to the knife, she needs a little help with the agony, and a little help comes in a little glass vial in a gun pressed against her anatomy. And when the gun goes off Isabella is ready for anything.” 

Bella’s voice was dangerous, broken and desperate as she cried out. “...Anything!” 

Graverobber, graverobber,   
Sometimes I wonder why I need you at all... 

Marcos and Bella were both whispering now, a creepy breathy chant, and Emmett was hit by the truth. Bella would be like this for hours, helpless and frightened, unaware of what was real. Emmett remembered the blood that had sprayed in the courtyard, robbing him of his choices, his dignity, with its siren song. He remembered Bella, still and kneeling in the dirt during her battle with the Shades, suddenly helpless and vulnerable. 

“Bella” Edward was shaking his lover slightly, looking up to meet Josephat and Carlisle’s pained, empty eyes. Josephat was clutching Rockabye to himself, sheilding her white eyes from the scene. 

It's clean, it's clear, it's pure--   
It's what?   
It's rare.   
It takes you there.   
It what?   
It takes you there.   
It takes you there.   
A little jump.   
Before the cut!   
Why agonize?   
Anesthetize! 

Bella drew Edward’s eyes back to her, looking at him with her eyes still unfocused before she went limp once more, her head falling back on her neck over Edward’s forearm; then screaming loud and long as her back arched, “I can't feel nothing at all!.” 

Marcos’ voice was subdued and empty; hopeless. "No, I can't feel nothing at all.” 

Bring Me to Life 

After Bella, Jasper, Emmett, and Marcos had left HQ for the badlands, a few moments had passed in silence. Then Alice had broken her family’s tense, motionless watch, her eyes moving from Edward to where Kaedra had been leaned against the table, twirling Bella’s signet in her hands and gazing dead-faced at the floor. “Fuck this.” 

Edward snapped his head around from where Bella had last stood as he read his sister’s thoughts: desperate hope welled in him as he focused on her. “Alice?” Alice had turned and strode out the council chamber’s doors towards Bella’s office, snarling and walking quickly, purposefully. 

When they reached Bella’s office, Alice had picked up the iobairt where it lay innocently on the floor, beginning to slice repeatedly into her forearm frantically, reopening the wound each time it closed until venom dripped to the floor. She was struggling to pronounce a chant in a determined whisper. Her strokes got longer and less hesitant, her voice more and more angry, desperate; almost hissing the words. Carlisle cried out, approaching her; but Esme and Jo held him back. Esme was desperately attempting to explain the situation to Rosalie, who listened to her mother with panic on her face. 

Alice’s eyes flooded white and she dropped the small knife that was drenched with her venom and Bella’s blood to the floor with stiff fingers. In sudden echoes around them, the group saw white mist, and through the mist Edward could see Bella striding through the courtyard of Tomas’ castle. 

Edward thought it couldn’t get worse than watching Bella’s “date” with Tomas, unable to do anything to help. All of it was unbearable, made all the worse by his distance. He lived through the possessive, protective fury that boiled in his veins as Tomas put his hands on Bella; the panic as the vision showed the desperate psychic lullaby Bella sent the Sighted toddler; the terror that raced through him as Alice’s eyes flashed black and her Vision faded; white mist encompassed the images at the aggressive telepathic scream of the Master that echoed around Camp. Even the hysterical relief when Bella and the others flew through the portal and disappeared cut through him like a knife. 

It couldn’t be worse, and then Jasper burst into the room moments after Alice had come back to herself; words were rushing from his mouth as the soldier panicked. “Finally, there you are, I was getting worried! Come on—Bella is hurt somehow; I think Tomas dosed her. We got Rockabye; but she needs a healer. Hurry.” 

Edward’s thoughts raced as fast as his body did through the halls of the castle; he was impatient with Josephat’s Fae sprint, so many half-seconds slower than his own, as Jasper led them to the dining hall. If they had been forced to move at a mortal speed, he would’ve carried the healer regardless of his dangerous protest. When he saw the gathered crowd between him and his love, he growled wildly, and had to shove down his bloodlust. He shoved Fae aside briskly until the crowd got the picture and made way for him. 

How bad could it be? Bella was back in HQ-- she had thoroughly trounced that bastard; she had gotten Rockabye back and the child was mostly unscathed. He hated the thought of his love being in pain, prayed this was some harmless drug that Bella could easily overcome. Fae did drugs all the time; even if Marcos had insinuated at the club that this one was somehow bad: that didn’t mean anything, he was a drug-dealer; a graverobber, as the Fae called them. Fae-magicks could fix it. 

Then, Edward laid eyes on Bella in Marcos’ arms on the floor and lost his damned mind. Marcos was singing some desperately angry song, and occasionally Bella sang with him, but for once Edward paid no attention to the music of the Fae. 

He heard when Emmett told him Bella wasn’t dead, his brother’s comfort turning cold in him as he heard Emmett’s frightening realizations. Every speck of his conscious mind was reaching for Bella; trying to break into the battleground of her silent mind. 

He had to get in there, had to help. He couldn’t even see Bella’s doe-brown eyes—this was going to kill him. “Bella.” He shook her slightly, needing her focus on him so he could see some hint of her thoughts to follow on her face. She grasped at the back of his neck, sloppily ran her hand along his jaw. Her head lifted for just a moment, but her focus was too weak, he couldn’t see her thoughts on her face through the drug. Jasper could read nothing from Bella, blank space, though his brother was straining his gift towards her almost as hard as Edward was. 

They had always laughed about Bella’s silent mind: a combination of her alien bloodline, incredible power, and defenses that Bella had trained in all her life. Edward asked about it early on in his time in Havana, and Bella had giggled and gifted him her blush: saying she couldn’t help it, it took a great deal of effort to let Edward in: that the binding currently made it impossible. It was annoying, but Edward hadn’t minded much, too used to it. 

He minded, now. He needed to be there, needed to be with his lover, share her pain. He glanced up at Jo and Carlisle; at the little girl with the incredible Sight that Bella had saved and loved as a parent, who waved at him even though her eyes were covered. He barely noticed as he sifted their minds for something to help her. No. No. No. There had to be something, anything. 

His lover’s hand messily met his jaw once more, pulling at his face, moving his eyes back to her lazily. Then, Bella was arching in pain as the chemical force of the drug raced through her veins, not meeting his eyes and screaming her hopelessness. 

“I can’t feel nothing at all!” 

Edward’s rushed, panicked thoughts stopped like a long rest on a sheet of music. 

NO. Edward wouldn’t believe it: Bella loved him, always. She always felt her love for him, always would. She had told him so. He believed her, would never stop believing her. 

There! 

Edward processed strange warmth, a golden glow in the back of his mind; it was weak and dim, but present, reaching for him. He reached back for it mentally: cradling it close, protecting it, when he could, from the electric blue that sparked along its surface, feeling the pervading numbness as he absorbed the drug’s effects. 

He lost track of the outside world, too engrossed in protecting the light of his lover’s mind, but the song rose from the mist of Bella’s mind as it rose from Bella’s lips. The physical sound was completely secondary to this: everything was secondary to this connection to Bella in her faraway place. 

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?   
Leading you down, into my core   
Where I've become so numb, without a soul   
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold   
Until you find it there, and lead it, back, home 

The mist began to solidify, shuddering and vibrating into a shining figure, then taking on Bella’s visage. She was in chains again, straining to reach her hand to him through the pull the shadowy binds had on her limbs. Edward ran to her through an endless dark void; the only thing he could see was his shining golden lover, begging him for help. 

Wake me up inside   
Wake me up inside   
Call my name and save me from the dark   
Bid my blood to run   
Before I come undone   
Save me from the nothing I've become 

Memories of his relationship with Bella flashed around him from Bella’s mind as she desperately tried to hold onto the important parts of herself: Her leaving Miami in the dead of night, knowing it was the end of her fragile peace -- the end of a lot of things; the spell she had cast on Charlie and Renee to get them to play along with her ruse,- her first glance of him, meeting his eyes from across the cafeteria at Forks High school. Their first conversation -- panic and wonder and intrigue about this pale boy with the unusual eyes. An ancient text filled with spidery writing-- Bella dropping the book to the floor of her bedroom with shock and racing for the ancient computer on her desk. Their meeting in Port Angeles from her perspective, their conversation in the car -- Bella’s shame and guilt as she forced herself to lie to him. Their first kiss was displayed in intimate detail—a sudden rush of lust and fear. James flashed by -- another in a long string of violence she always brought on those she loved. The golden days before he left her flashed by too quickly to register Bella’s thoughts, and suddenly Edward was watching himself leave Bella alone in the forest-- feeling the hole in her chest tear further and further, growing through the long months he was gone-- the addictive power of his face, even twisted and evil in the visions. Next were the hallucinations, unnoticed hunger, long nights screaming into the pillow, eyes white. Jacob was angry—Bella couldn’t care less, the feel of the fall from the cliff had been amazing. 

Now that I know what I'm without   
You can't just leave me   
Breathe into me and make me real   
Bring me to life 

Now she was in a car with Alice, a sleek yellow Porsche racing up the hillside towards Volterra and she hadn’t slept in weeks; why would Edward do this-- why couldn’t she ever protect him, why, why, why? Throwing herself at him, the rush of the intimate hold-- triumph and dregs of weariness as the adrenaline wore off warring within her. Standing in front of Aro, numb and realizing that Vampires had a whole world, just like Fae did. 

And always, through every memory-- constantly, always strengthening, was Love. Want, need, mine. 

Wake me up inside   
Wake me up inside   
Call my name and save me from the dark   
Bid my blood to run   
Before I come undone   
Save me from the nothing I've become 

Bella’s mind was fascinating. Even with the haziness and unnatural ecstasy of the drug in her system, Bella was always two steps ahead of him. She had realized the potential for Edward,(--- precious,-love,-so-much-love-and-want,--- always,---) to help her the second she had registered his presence. 

Edward had been right: she could still feel her love for him, pouring across the torn and empty landscape of her mind like life-giving water, a fire that didn’t burn. Edward felt the earthquakes and tornadoes rage in his own soul, as everything he had thought or hoped about his lover was realized in her thoughts. Each emotion he showed her in response to the memories was consumed hungrily and met with that Love that staggered him. They met in the middle, his bright scarlet to her glowing gold, meshing like paints smeared across paper. 

Bring me to life   
Bring me to life 

Edward held to his Bella in that dark space as the emptiness raged through her: bearing her numbness and letting her feel what he felt. Bella’s emotions responded to his, her mental presence curling into him like a child afraid of the dark. 

Frozen inside, without your touch   
Without your love, darling   
Only you are my life   
Among the dead 

Edward screamed his want, his incessant need for Bella: he was giving her something to focus on, some expression of his feelings for her. He was unsure if it was out loud, or in his mind: the song pouring from his lips. 

(All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see   
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me) 

I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems   
Got to open my eyes to everything 

Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul   
Don't let me die here 

(there must be something more)   
Bring me to life 

They sang together, strong enough to overcome anything; and the chain around Bella’s neck glowed vivid blue and pulled taught before snapping. Edward fought hard to keep Bella in his hold as the chains on her wrists and ankles pulled. 

Wake me up inside   
Wake me up inside   
Call my name and save me from the dark   
Bid my blood to run   
Before I come undone   
Save me from the nothing I've become 

Edward clutched her close as her fears for the future raced through her: Carlisle with red eyes; Jasper laughing with bloodlust in his gaze; Emmett torturing someone, Rosalie in a seductive pose. Esme slapped a small child, and a crowd bowed before Alice. Edward --- no, Edward!--- was burning, over and over again in different scenarios. Bella had Seen these things, pursued them in the Dark to keep them from becoming reality: to protect her family from the Master’s influence. The malevolent voice screamed to be heard in her mind, trapped somewhere beyond the rush of the chemicals that held it at bay—the price for the small relief of the Master’s distance was entirely too high. 

Bring me to life   
Bring me to life   
Bring me to life 

Edward clutched Bella close in his mind, and outside the world of Edward-and-Bella, his family marveled. 

Bella was coming around, the drug’s effects weakening as Edward shared her burden. 

Marcos was completely new again: awed and wonderstruck. Jo and Carlisle rushed to them, monitoring the two lovers closely and helping however they could. Tears streamed down Josephat’s face as he put down the iobairt he would have used to kill his Queen, who had saved his daughter’s life. Jasper was watching Rockabye’s eyes flash from hazel to blinded-white rapidly: the echoes of Bella-and-Edward surrounded her as she Saw them, a wide smile on her young face. Alice and Rosalie had venom tears in their eyes. Esme and Emmett were twirling, ecstatic. 

\--------Kaedra felt hope spread treacherous roots in her soul, everything in her shaken by the depth of what Bella and Edward shared. They were in love. 

Page Break

Deora ar Ma Chroi 

Kaedra made sure the sudden change in her wasn’t noticeable in her voice as she called into the sudden quiet. “Perhaps; with the situation apparently under control, it is time to move to a more private location?” 

She was eyeing the Fae crowd warily: taking in the anger and heartbreak on Fae faces, the hope and wonder flitting to life on others. Carlisle looked up from where he knelt next to Edward-and-Bella. “I don’t think we should break their physical contact, but we can probably move them somewhere more secure.“ 

“Oh, trust us, no-one will get anywhere near her where we’re going.” Marcos deadpanned, his humor suddenly returning as the end of Bella’s torture loomed nearer than hoped for; Edward could help her, thank God. 

The group awkwardly jostled the couple, who seemed to absentmindedly take their direction, focused entirely inward with Bella’s hand never leaving Edward’s face, always in eye contact. Her eyes began to fade from their unnatural, glowing blue; there were specks of gold and brown showing through. 

Kaedra led them to the basement, though she did not look at the throne room, instead turning to walk in the opposite direction, down a long, slim passage in the sandstone. Gradually, the stone grew cooler, gray and damp; springy moss grew beneath their feet. After a few more moments, Esme could hear a waterfall, see a light up ahead. 

Esme reached to touch Bella’s elbow in the narrow space, directing her Fae-daughter towards the soft light of stars where the path opened into a narrow cave that was half naturally-formed and half built: a slim waterfall was supported by an arch and a deep crevasse ran through the space. On either side of the crevasse where the waterfall fell into the abyss, there was wild greenness, vines that glowed softly with green light and trailed to meet the moss on the ground, though there was no way the sun could shine this far underground. 

There were strange runes carved into the walls that shined silver and gold, forming what Esme had thought were stars. “Where are we?” Alice whispered, her eyes filmed with white mist as she ran her hand along one wall, over one of the runes that flared gently when she touched it. 

Kaedra’s voice was low, whispered and respectful. “Bella and her lovers found this place here when they were still young; it had been lost for eons. They kept it a secret between them until they revealed their intention to build Castle HQ here. No Fae quite know how it came to be, and Bella restricts access to all but the ten of us. It’s ancient, way older than the throne room or Camp. Older than me even; it was probably formed In the Beginning. Bella was insistent that if ever I judged the risk of her succumbing to the Master’s call to be too high, I should kill her immediately. When I told her I wouldn’t, she made me promise to bring her here instead. Careful- Runes are powerful things.” 

Jasper was reaching towards a rune that seemed to whisper to him, flaring and enticing him to touch it. All around the cave, runes twinkled, moonlight bleeding from the strange symbols carved into the wall of the narrow cave. “Set them down here.” Marcos motioned to a spot near the waterfall that was illuminated softly, on the opposite side of the river from the entrance. 

They stood for a moment after Edward-and-Bella had settled absentmindedly on the soft moss, neither noticing the serene scene. 

Then, Kaedra and Marcos corralled them out of the space and down the narrow hall and the lovers were left alone. It took Josephat, Marcos, and Kaedra to seal the entrance to the passageway with heavy magicks. 

“There. She’s as safe as she can be, and we are too. Even Isabella would have trouble breaking out of that place.” Kaedra announced once the quiet group reached the staircase. “They’ll be okay, vampires. They love each other.” Esme looked around at her worn family, missing two pieces, but hopeful and full of faith. They would be okay. They would come home. 

Page Break  
I Want You (mature) 

Neither Edward nor Bella noticed their bodies’ movement into the cave, though Bella registered when their family left, bright specks of color distancing themselves from her mind. Edward shared her sweet affection for their family, the pride, trust that was unbreakable. There was no room for jealousy here, and the love Bella held for his kin was different than the love-want-need that sang through her for him. 

As the last of the drug faded from Bella’s mind, The Master’s voice snapped to full volume again, a deadly low chant of mine-anger-fear-take. Edward-and-Bella were baptized in hellfire, a thousand times worse than the pain of the change into a vampire, clutching to each other roughly as they were thrown back into their own bodies. Edward could still feel the golden presence of Bella in his mind, but her thoughts were distant: muffled and more suggestion than clarity. 

Bella’s back arched, and Edward threw himself over her form, sheltering her from mental pain with his cool stone flesh. When Bella opened her eyes to look at him, her eyes were doe-brown, the blue fading away from her irises like water down the drain. Her eyes were consumed-black momentarily, then flared with golden fire before settling once more. 

Edward relished the sound of her heartbeat slowing in the surreal space, backed by the sound of water rushing, content in her safety, though he knew things were far from over. 

I 

The arch of Bella’s back had brought her hips into glorious contact with Edward’s pelvis, and Edward couldn’t stop the possessive growl that rumbled through him at the flash of heat and intimacy. Bella’s doe brown eyes focused on him with difficulty, still flashing with a translucent gold. 

I 

Edward registered the heat of her gaze less than a second before Bella rolled her hips into his once more with intention, gasping and clutching at his shirt over his shoulders. 

I 

Her heartbeat sped slightly, and it pulsed in Edward’s ears as their desperation faded into sultry desire, fire that didn’t burn. “Bella.” His voice was hoarse, weak and begging. 

I 

“I’m sorry, I can’t...I want you. You’re too far away.” Edward couldn’t help but agree, missing the clutch of Bella’s mind to his like a severed limb. He couldn’t: They weren’t married, Bella was still human. “Please-- Edward, it hurts. Make it stop. Edward—Edward.” 

Her hips stuttered and rolled, seeking more heat to combat the sting of the Master’s closeness. Her nipples brushed his chest where he was braced over her, and Edward could tell they were pebbled and hard. His mouth went dry. Bella’s heartbeat seemed louder in his ears. 

I 

“Bella.” he begged desperately, already shifting his weight to run a hand down her face. “I can’t, Bella. You’ll get hurt.” “No---magick. Be my first.” The memory of Bella’s seductive damnation in the music room lit Edward up like kerosene. She cried out suddenly, gripping his shoulders hard with nails scratching as her body jerked. The last of the drug faded from her blood. She panted under him, going limp, glorious contact fading into too-much distance, always too-much. The adrenaline faded, but Edward could perceive the scent of Bella’s arousal in the air. 

I 

He groaned, reaching for her and twisting so that she was pressed into his front on her side, her back to him, but he could still see her face over her shoulder. “Bella-- don’t. I’m too close here.” His treacherous stone body was betraying him, and he wrapped his arm around Bella’s waist, pressing her to himself lightly and letting her feel his hardness. Bella’s eyes grew mischievous and teasing, and she rubbed her ass against him, a spike in the scent of her want. 

Want 

“Edward--” her voice was a persuasive purr: a request. “I want you to.” Her voice grew rougher, seductive. “Please, Edward. I can beg, if you like.” Edward couldn’t stand it. Not one more second of the sound of her voice, the words she spoke, the feel of her body, that scent. He growled, flipping her onto her back in a quick, rough movement and bracing himself over her once more, his hand sliding along her ribs to her waist, across her navel, almost without his permission. 

You 

“Bella. I am not Atlas, my love. I cannot carry the world as you do.” 

“Touch me, Edward. I want to feel you.” Her command was half-pleading, unable to keep her calm. She reached for his face, planting a light kiss on the corner of his mouth as she tugged him closer with the opposite hand on the back of his neck. She was sliding her body to brace against the curve of the stone under him, forcing his hand closer to her core with her movement. His vampiric sensitivity allowed him to feel the damp heat rising from her panties on his fingertips, through her dress. It was enough to break him. 

You 

He was silent, his eyes on her doe-brown ones, his focus every-inch on her, feeling the golden presence flare in joyous understanding at the back of his perception as he slid his hand slowly down, past her hips to the hem of her battle-dress, tracing the inside seam of her thighs. “Bella. My Bella. My love.” The path under his fingers was warm, soft, smooth; until as he hooked his hand under her skirt and skated his fingers upward he felt the bumps of scar tissue: the bite mark on her thigh. The gold flared in alarm, but Bella pulled herself closer to him with the hand at the back of his neck. “Don’t stop, please. I want you Edward, don’t stop; don’t let him steal it, stay.” 

You 

Edward closed his eyes for just a moment, motionless save allowing Bella to pull his forehead to hers. “Stay, Edward. You’ll never. I know you; I know you wouldn’t. Touch me, please. I want you to. I want it, all of it, all the time. You are my lover, my only. My Edward.” 

You 

Edward surrendered. He kept his eyes on hers, though he wanted to watch the path of his hand, wanted to see her most intimate place. There was time. He slipped his hand up her thigh and rubbed her through the lace of her panties. Bella inhaled sharply: scent, heat flaring. She was so warm, even softer here, silk under lace. 

You 

The need in Edward was rising and want was too. He battled them back with Love, affection and kept his pace slow, tucking his head into the junction of Bella’s neck as he sought protection from the heat. It was a mistake: he should’ve realized. Her jugular was pulsing with her heartbeat centimeters from his lips, louder in the space now, and she tilted her head to give him better access, clutched at his back as his hand moved. 

You 

“Oh God.” The words were a half-dirty prayer Edward hoped would never be answered as Bella rocked her hips. He squeezed his eyes closed, panting for unneeded air just to have her scent coat his lungs. 

You 

He could feel her dampness now, on the tips of fingers and pushed harder, grinding the base of his palm into her heat and sliding his fingers back, parting her through the lace, opening the door. Bella moaned wantonly, her head falling back on her neck, her legs spreading to accommodate him, welcoming him closer. “My Edward, please, mine. I trust you, love; please. Touch me.” 

He couldn’t last one more second away from her, needed more than the damp on his fingertips. Her panties ripped as he tore them from her, plunging his fingers into her in a quick but careful movement and grinding the base of his palm against her clit. 

Bella arched, her pebbled nipples stiff against his cold chest and she cried out, almost a scream. Her eyes flashed gold when she met his, and he lowered his head, clutched her to him, licking at her collarbone where it showed beneath the skimpy dress. “This dress, my Bella. You know you wear this dress,-- Every. Goddamned. Day. What even is this fabric? It’s sin, that’s what it is.” He pumped his fingers: softly, slowly. Teasing. Bella whimpered at him, soft mewls beginning to escape, though she tried to hold them back. He traced her bare chest through the scoop of her top with the tip of his tongue, lightly bit down on a hard nipple in reprimand through the slinky glittering fabric that had been his own private torture. “Let me hear you, love.” 

Oh, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. want you. you. you. you. you. you. you. 

Dirty, pulsing synth pounded in the air, light cymbals that were backing the sound of Bella’s heartbeat: singing her want to him at his request. She cried out again at the sharp pressure of his teeth, something in her voice growing. 

Edward wanted the sound, wanted to hear nothing else for the rest of his days. She was soaked now, and Edward felt the slide of her tightness against his long fingers smoothly as her hips lifted and fell with his steady thrust into her passage. 

He was losing it, losing his control to the pound of her heartbeat, giving it away to her care. 

So, what we gon' do 

What we gon' do 

He increased his pace, truly thrusting into her now, faster and faster. His reward for the decay of his control was realized when Bella slid her small hand down his chest, cupping him through his pants lightly: asking permission that Edward couldn’t help but give, the jerk of his hips increasing the pressure of her hand against him. 

What we gon' do 

What we gon' do 

Her hand on him through thin cloth was torture of the best kind, and Edward snarled as take appeared in his mind briefly, drowning it out with LoveLoveLove. Bella gasped, a ragged inhale as his fingers began to approach immortal speed, her passage clinging to him; her muscles tensed as she perceived his struggle and chose to trust him anyway. 

I. I. I. I. I. I. I. want you. you. you. you. you. You. you; Oh, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. want. you. You. You. You. You. You. you. 

In the worse kinda way way, way, way, way, way, way. 

Edward pulled his fingers away from her core like ripping a suture from a wound, manhandling her into a half-sit and tearing that sinful cloth away from her body over her head as she gasped at the loss of his touch. “Please, lover. Let me see you too, Edward.” 

I want you you you you, baby   
So what we gon' do do do, baby   
What we gon' do do do, baby 

Edward had even less patience for his own clothing: Bella could materialize him one of those fancy suits anyway, after. As soon as he was bare, he clutched her close again, the feel of skin-against-skin heavenly. Edward had a flash of memory-- himself watching Bella in her bed in Forks from the rocking chair, her in her ratty sweats and mumbling his name in her sleep. She would never wear clothes in their bed again if he could help it. 

Love is on the way, all I got to say is   
It won't let go   
You can pray to early May, fast for 30 days   
Still it won't let go, oh 

He pulled back, denying the want of his hands to indulge his eyes. 

Dear God. 

Bella was slim, nubile. Her breasts were a perfect handful: round and heavy against her chest, her nipples dusky pink and peaked. A memory of Bella’s dance at Club Clubbing flashed across his mind as he watched her take a breath, her hands gripping him hard over his thighs. Her waist narrowed under ribs before flaring, curving gently outward at her hips, long lines of bone creating a soft barrier around her lightly-shaded core before her thighs began. Long legs stretched to tangle with his, pressing her pretty feet into the back of his knees where they bore his weight against the floor. 

Got a good book and got all in it, tried a little yoga for a minute   
But it won't let go, oh   
Tried to turn the sauna up to hotter, drunk a whole jar of holy water   
But it won't let go, oh 

His vision blurred as she rose to meet him, ran her fingertips sweetly down his chest, his stomach, and brushed at his pubic hair, her eyes trailing to follow the path of her hands before swinging up to meet his gaze-- still-innocent brown irises but sheened in sultry gold that glittered in the soft light. For the first time, Edward had the space to think of privacy, of aloneness. None other would ever lay eyes on his Bella like this ever again. A soft rumble echoed in his chest like a purr. 

In the worse kinda way way way way way way way   
I want you you you you, baby   
So what we gon' do, baby 

She wrapped her small hand around the base of him, applying only the lightest of steady pressure between her index finger and her thumb, a thin band of sensation- the warmth of her hand. Her eyes were consuming him where they met his own topaz gaze, calming but somehow-not as adrenaline began to filter into his mind. His rush was answered eagerly by the gold in his mind, an invitation. 

So what we gon' do, baby 

He pushed his lips to hers in a desperate kiss, pouring into her mouth as he trapped her hand between their bodies and pushed her back into the ground beneath him, pressing himself in between her legs: which came up to wrap his waist, ankles crossed, trapping him there. Bella swiped her tongue across his lips, a playful demand for entrance, for the dance of tongues. Edward happily opened to her, tasting her mouth. 

Love is on the way, all I got to say is   
It won't let go   
You can pray to early May, fast for 30 days   
Still it won't let go, oh   
Got good book and got all in it, tried a little yoga for a minute   
But it won't let go, oh   
Tried to turn the sauna up to hotter, drank a whole jar of holy water   
But it won't let go, oh 

As his tongue tangled with hers Edward had an impression sent to him from the gold in his mind, an unintentional echo of a thought: his tongue in a more intimate place. Oh, dear god. She was going to kill him, and he would die a happy, happy man. Their kiss had been fairly equal, but now Edward bore down further, taking everything he was being freely given as his protective possessiveness grew, tinged with just a touch of jealousy. 

I 

Bella surrendered to him, took the burden of his control fading away; and giving her’s to him. She pressed her soft, firm flesh against his stone chest, ever closer. 

I 

Edward supported his weight with one arm, desperate, -so-desperate-want-want-need-everything-, rising in him, backed by the adrenaline and lust. 

I 

He backed off just enough to free her hand, to allow his hips to pull back, each centimeter costing him, air and space unwelcome here. 

baby   
Want you you you, baby   
So what we gon' (uh) do do do do do do do do do do do do do 

He thrust forward, rubbing his member against her heat in a quick, firm stroke so that her clit was dragged along the underside of his hardness. Bella arched helplessly, a half-scream leaving her throat before she bit it back. 

I I I I I I I   
Want you you you you you you you 

His hand met the base of her neck where it met her chest, a firm reminder as he growled out the words. “No, Bella. I want to hear you love, don’t hold back.” 

I I I I I I   
So what we gon' do 

In the worse kinda way way way way way way way   
I want you you you you, baby   
So what we gon' do   
Now what we gon' do 

Her eyes met his, almost entirely consumed by gold now, whimpering constantly as her hand wrapped around his wrist at her throat, the other clutched into the soft green moss next to her hip. Edward felt a beat of innocent surprise as she pressed on his hand, increasing the pressure on her own throat before she mewled and groaned out quick, rushed words, rubbing her core against him greedily. “Edward, lover, please. I want you, need you. Inside-- give it to me Edward please please please...” 

I know you're a little nervous   
(what we gone do)   
I know you really want this   
(what we gone do) 

Edward swallowed against his suddenly-dry mouth, in that moment falling in love with her golden gaze as much as he had been with her doe-brown one. He couldn’t have refused her if his life had depended on it. The half-second space of air between him and her as he pulled back again was hateful, made him angry. He thrust himself hard into her, before wonder and awe captured him; emotion stilling his movement as he was buried into her to the hilt. 

Bella’s eyes were wide with wonder as her flesh stretched and twitched around him, adjusting to his size; her fullness. Edward couldn’t bear to end the long moment and couldn’t bear the stillness a moment more. He might be damned, but heaven had nothing on this. 

I can't believe the feeling   
(what we gone do)   
I feel it all over, feel it all over   
(said what we gone do)   
Babe, yeah baby   
(so what we gone do)   
You don't believe in love, you missing a good thing   
(so what we gone do)   
Because I'm---say   
Because I'm genuine, I'm genuine, yeah   
(so what we gone do)   
Yeah baby 

He couldn’t decide: couldn’t choose between lust and love; awe and heat, so Bella chose for him. She pressed her breasts against his chest tightly and scratched her nails down along his shoulder blades as she pulled back until only his tip was within her, bearing down and encompassing him again, just once. It was the creation of a new world, a rebirth—and Edward moved. 

I don't want no trouble   
Just a little loving (yeah)   
I want to get to know ya (yeah)   
I don't want your money (yeah)   
You oughta get to know me (yeah)   
My love'll make you wonder (yeah)   
And lightning a thunder (yeah)   
I get it from my mama (yeah) 

His thrusts were unsteady at first, pausing at the hilt, a beat as he mentally struggled to force his hips away from her again; but soon he caught the rhythm of it, the clutch and release. His thrusts became smooth circles, Bella meeting him eagerly, faster and faster now. 

Oh, I I I I I I I   
I Want you you you you you you you   
Do do do do do do do   
Now what we gon' do 

Fae-speed was superior to a human’s, but nowhere near a vampire’s, and Edward caught fire, lost control completely as he began to burn higher, dissolving into ash blown by the wind. Bella struggled to meet him, her own face growing desperate. The gold in his mind was reaching for him, fighting chains. Their lips met sloppily, panting into each other’s mouths. Something was building between them now, the flare of fire’s edge and deep earthquake, the rush of floodwaters. 

I I I I I I I   
I want you you you you you you you   
Oh I I I I I I I   
Want you you you you you you you 

-the physical release, the fall, expanding into starlight as the silver runes on the walls of the cave flared- 

It was swept up and carried on a physical rush of air that ruffled his hair and caressed his skin, but it was meaningless to him. He lost his mind, his individuality as Bella fell with him, her climax bursting through her like the flare of magic, the gold in her mind consuming his crimson, as his crimson consumed her gold, a never-ending circle. Love. 

But Edward was a vampire, and the rush drove him to break the kiss, to wrench her head to the side as his opposite arm gave out and his weight trapped her to the floor, his teeth already sinking into her jugular. 

Page Break  
Love on the Brain (mature) 

Bella’s ragged, broken moan broke his heart and shattered his soul as he jerked away from where her blood poured into his mouth, leaving the red fluid to stream enticingly down the length of her neck. He had to brace himself heavily before he pulled his member free of her, licked the wound to close it with his venom. 

“Bella-Bella-no. God. No, I’m so sorry, Bella. Fuck, I’m- I’m sorry.” He jerked himself away from her angelic form, leaping the narrow abyss to throw himself backward against the cool stone wall of the space. The runes burned like fire when he touched them, so he pushed his back into the wall hard, the pain a self-flagellation for breaking this wonderous thing. He had betrayed her. It was hell. 

Bella had collapsed hard, her arms reaching into the open space where he had been, and she lowered her arms slowly, like in a trance. After a moment of panting to catch her breath, she drew herself into a sitting position, and somehow—Edward swallowed, hard. Somehow the sight of the vivid red stream of blood that dripped from her neck and off the swell of her breast was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, even as the horror raced through him. He couldn’t meet her eyes as he awaited her judgement. 

“Wait-what? Edward, what the hell are you doing? Get over here.” 

Everything in his body screamed at him to acquiesce. Edward shook his head violently at the floor. 

If he cast himself into the flooded abyss, would it kill him? Possibly. 

“Edward, whatever the hell you are thinking right now, I want you to stop. Immediately.” 

The words were a Queen’s order: an expectation to be followed without question. Edward remembered words, golden fire flaring to consume black, -- if you wanna fight about it, throw a punch. Did she want to force him to live on, to exist without her? If she willed it, he would try. He would last as long as he could, try to protect his family from his sin, his insanity. Trust Bella to think of her precious people over punishing the Betrayer. 

“Edward! Stop—those runes will burn you, they’re really powerful.” She jumped to her feet, walking the long way around the crevasse. Edward shoved himself into the wall as hard as he could, the pain welcome as her scent neared him, as he watched her glorious body’s movement. 

“Stop! Edward, what are you doing? You’re scaring me, stop it.” 

She would not allow him the release of physical pain? Okay. He could do that; it wasn’t helping anyway. He stepped away from the wall, carefully maintaining equal distance from her approaching form, but she came to him quickly. Her touch was undeserved benediction as she grasped his shoulder to turn him, to see his back. 

“You look alright. Vampire skin, wow. You guys heal faster than anything.” Edward hated his skin, he wanted Bella to step away: as if that could stop him from infecting her. He wanted her to be able to grip him hard enough to leave an everlasting bruise. The blessed-damned blood was still on his lips when he drew tortured breath, the scent of arousal and blood –Bella's blood- scenting the air. 

“Edward? Yo, Edward. It was the most amazing thing to ever happen to me too; but I’m not mute, and neither are you. I admit, the afterglow was a little short, but hey, it’s ok, it was perfect otherwise and I’m certainly not going to complain. Just next time, maybe—why aren’t you talking?” 

Bella snapped her fingers in front of his face, and Edward finally managed to process that she wasn’t writhing on the ground in pain from his venom. His voice was halting, dripping with regret and shattered hope that was painful. “Bella. Bella, you’re not..I’m so sorry.” 

Bella’s doe-brown eyes narrowed at him, and she removed her hand from his shoulder. “Edward.” her voice was deadly soft, dangerous. “What are you apologizing for? Be specific.” 

Edward couldn’t understand how a confession could make it better. His sin was ever before him, but he could never deny her. His voice was whisper soft as he croaked, the words half bitten, poison on his tongue. “I-I bit you.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh, yes? I know, I was there. Is that why your freaking out? Magick, Edward, remember?” She flared a small flame in her hand, and Edward flinched. Would she burn him herself? It was too generous, the ending of his existence with fire from Bella’s hands. 

At his flinch, Bella grew suddenly serious, protective; she extinguished the small flame immediately. “Edward? Edward, what’s wrong? Are you okay? I don’t understand, tell me, let me help you.” 

Help him? She wanted to help him? He had bitten her, betrayed her in the worst way. He had hurt her. He deserved only the harshest treatment, immediate death if possible. 

He told Bella as much, and her eyes widened in shock and alarm. Her words came out panicked and pleading. “WHAT? Edward—Edward, love, no. I’m fine, you didn’t hurt me, honestly. I told you in the music room, I thought you understood. Edward.“ 

“Edward, lover, I wanted you to bite me. I thought you realized that, I didn’t mean to...ohmygod Edward. I didn’t mean to make you snap if you didn’t want to, I’m so, so, sorry. Please forgive me.” 

Now, her face was horrified. Was it a delayed reaction? 

Wait, she wanted his forgiveness? What? Edward forced his mind to slow down, pulled himself out of his emotional panic and despair. Bella took a deep breath to center herself, an inhale, her exhale tinged with the scent of blood. She had bruises forming on her neck where he had gripped her tightly. 

She reached for his hand, tangling her fingers with his and pulling him to sit on the moss at the base of the wall opposite the burning runes. “Let’s back up. Are you saying you are upset because you bit me when you came, and that’s why you were hurting yourself, why you were thinking—whatever you were thinking?” 

“Upset? Bella, I betrayed you, betrayed your love, your trust. Please, don’t make me live with the knowledge of what I’ve done, what I’ve destroyed.” 

“Okay. First, you didn’t answer my question, so I still don’t know what exactly it is you think you’ve done. Second, I know betrayal, intimately; and whatever that wondrousness was, that wasn’t it. Not even close. Different stratosphere. And third, if you ever hint at me killing you ever again, I will lock you in this cave for all eternity and only come down to give you blood and sex. “ 

“Edward, you bit me. I wanted you to bite me. I cast the spell, the one I told you about in the music room that makes it where I don’t turn. I knew you would stop before I was hurt. I liked it. I love you, you idiot, and you’re a vampire. Why wouldn’t I give you what you wanted? I’ve been curious about it, sort of. When I let myself think about it, I could never picture it. I wanted it Edward. I thought you did too.” 

“That’s why I need you to forgive me, Edward. I didn’t know you didn’t want to. Sometimes, I push people too far, beyond what they can handle. I never meant to do that to you. I’m sorry.” 

Edward’s thoughts picked up again, rushing like the water over the cliff’s edge. Bella wanted that? Her ragged moan took on new meaning in his mind, and he suddenly pressed into the memory, instead of away. “You want that? You liked me drinking from you?” 

“Uh -- well, yeah. I liked it a lot, actually. But you don’t have to, again. If you don’t want to. It’s not essential.” 

And that was the crux of it. It wasn’t essential. Bella loved Edward, and he loved her. To her, her blood was a pleasure: a gift she could give him, one she enjoyed giving. She thought no more of it than that. 

“Again?” Edward’s voice was wonderous and horrified and musing, all at once. 

Bella liked it. It brought her pleasure. His mind began to lighten, something in him changing. He didn’t want to resist it, but he did anyway. It was like the first time he had heard Bella mumble his name, an unstoppable change sweeping over him, leaving him different than before, like waves on a beach. “You-you want me to do it again?” 

“Edward, really you don’t have to, if it freaks you out. I’ve always liked things, um. Well. Intense. In that way. I like the loss of control with someone I trust; but I get when something is too good, so wanted it’s deadly. You told me I’m your brand of heroin, right? I always sort of thought my blood was like the Glow for you. So good, it’s bad. It’s not, like, a requirement or something. I mean, you don’t have to. I’ll always want whatever you want to give me, and no more.” 

Edward had never thought that Bella understood what it meant to be a vampire. He hadn’t thought she could understand the pull, the deadly desire, that take in his mind. But Bella always meant the words she said. What was it she had said once—If he held the whip she wouldn’t mind? 

Edward would never desire Bella’s pain, was horrified at the mere thought of it; but he couldn’t deny the thought of his marks on her skin excited him. Her blood had always been a part of her draw on him, though that part was overshadowed more each day. Edward had buried it, left it to die and fade away: but now Bella was telling him he didn’t have to, that he could have all of her, that she could give it to him, that she wanted to. Wonder grew in him once more, and he finally met his lover’s eyes. 

She arched a fine, curved brow at him. “Okay, lover. The muteness is getting really old. Say something, please. At least you look a little less like I have to worry about you around sharp objects. --Edward. Speak.” 

Sudden joy rocked through Edward as the transformation completed in his mind, in his heart, in his soul. Bella knew he was a vampire. She had always known it, always understood it. And she loved him anyway. She loved him not just in spite of it, but because of it. If Bella could love the vampiric side of him, he could too. 

Instead of speaking, Edward pulled Bella towards him, into his lap, twisted her so her back was to him,—both of them were still naked from before. He kissed her lips first, teasing her with his tongue at the seam of them before he pulled away as she opened beneath him. 

“I am so incredibly in love with you, Isabella Swan. I am never going to let you go. You are mine, my lover, my only. Always.” 

He whispered the words into her ear and felt the music begin again around him, relished the hint of renewed arousal in the air and the sound of bass drum accompanied by guitar. “I love you too, Edward." 

And you got me like, oh   
What you want from me? (What you want from me?)   
And I tried to buy your pretty heart, but the price too high   
Baby you got me like, oh, mm   
You love when I fall apart (fall apart)   
So you can put me together   
And throw me against the wall 

He licked the blood from her neck from collarbone to ear as she spoke, sucking hard on the curve of the sensitive flesh, and Bella arched her back, ground her ass into him, feeling him begin to harden. Her voice was almost laughing when she caught her breath enough to speak. “You’re not going to freak out again, are you? I demand copious cuddling for what I missed earlier.” 

He grinned as he reached the impression his teeth had left on her flesh. “No freak-outs, just you-” He melded his mouth over the wound, laving at it to close it completely—he had done a poor job earlier. “-- and me. And utter privacy. Where are we anyway? Is this heaven?” 

Baby you got me like ah, woo, ah   
Don't you stop loving me (loving me)   
Don't quit loving me (loving me)   
Just start loving me (loving me) 

Bella was writhing under his attention, her muscles tensing and releasing as he played with her pink nipples, watched them pebble under his fingertips. “Hmm, what? Oh, this is the panic room. We won’t be disturbed for a while, and I can tell when someone is COMING. Edward!” 

Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire   
Just to get close to you   
Can we burn something, babe?   
And I run for miles just to get a taste   
Must be love on the brain 

He had pinched her nipples hard, both at once, as soon as he understood their privacy would last. He held to them as her chest arched away from him, not letting up the steady, heavy pressure between his fingers. Bella mewled, tossed her head against his shoulder, muttered his name. 

“Louder, Bella. What do you want?” 

“You. You. Let me. Please, you have to let me...I want to taste you.” 

Edward’s brain stopped, his adrenaline coursing, and he pinched her slightly harder than he meant to before he released her. Bella cried out; her voice heavy with want at the sharp pleasure-pain, and she ground back into him. He was fully hard now, curved back and almost leaking at the thought of her mouth on him there. “Bella. Yes. Oh yes, please.” 

That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way)   
It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good   
And I can't get enough   
Must be love on the brain yeah 

That was apparently all of the permission Bella needed and she scrambled up, offering him her hand though she knew he didn’t need it. He took it anyway, the loss of contact as torturous as before. 

She settled them against a portion of the wall with no runes etched into it, her turn to push herself close, to trap him. “Edward. It wasn’t very nice of you to run away. I expect full recompense. I’ve dreamed this, you know. I could never imagine the wonder of you inside me properly, could never see it. But this?” 

Her lips traced the shell of his ear, her hands gripping at his waist, his shoulder. Her voice turned sultry; a half-whispered moan Edward heard greedily. He wanted to drink the sound from her lips. “I’m not an angel, Edward. Every time you went hunting, every time you left me alone for the night, I’d think of this. I couldn’t help it. I’d touch myself and think of what you might taste like.” 

And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name)   
No matter what I do, I'm no good without you   
And I can't get enough   
Must be love on the brain 

Edward knew it, had returned sooner than expected before, smelled hints of her arousal in the air of her bedroom. It had always made him hard. She had thought of him. God, he would never hunt again, never leave her alone. 

The thought of Bella touching herself in her intimate place-- even with the image of him in her silent mind-- drove him nuts, and not entirely in a good way. “Mine.” He growled. “No more imagining. No more touching. My job, my privilege. Reality.” 

Baby, keep loving me   
Just love me, yeah   
Just love me   
All you need to do is love me, yeah   
Got me like ah-ah-ah-ow   
I'm tired of being played like a violin   
What do I gotta do to get in your motherfuckin' heart? 

He heard Bella swallow hard. “Yours.” She murmured the word against his lips, her half-lidded eyes on his, and then she was touching him. A moan wrenched itself from his chest. He watched her eyes grow wide in response to the noise, rewarding him with one quick stroke from base to tip. 

“There’s your voice. I missed it.” Bella teased, stepping closer still, dropping to her knees, working him lightly with one hand. She glanced at his face from under her eyelashes, as she gathered her hair over her left shoulder where the iobairt’s scratches still lingered. --- Had that been only this afternoon? Edward couldn’t think through the long pulls, the steadily increasing tightness. 

Baby like ah, woo, ah   
Don't you stop loving me (loving me)   
Don't quit loving me (loving me)   
Just start loving me (loving me) 

The feeling of her warm breath on his tip was ridiculously intimate, but Bella surprised him, moving past his tip to where her hand was wrapped around his base. Then, she followed the long upward stroke of her tightened hand with a stiffened, flat tongue-- along the underside of his member from base to tip. 

Oh, and babe I'm fist fighting with fire   
Just to get close to you   
Can we burn something, babe?   
And I run for miles just to get a taste 

Edward felt his hands come to grip Bella’s shoulders roughly, but he couldn’t have stopped them if he had tried. He moaned as his abs contracted, a shudder went through him. His eyes were on her face, and he saw pleasure race across it as she tasted him. Oh. Oh, God forgive him, he didn’t care about anything at all but what would happen next. 

Must be love on the brain   
That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way)   
It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good   
And I can't get enough   
Must be love on the brain 

Bella loosened her grip slightly as she ran her hand down him, but Edward didn’t notice, too caught up in the heat of her mouth following her hand, taking him as far as she could in one long swallow. He cursed robustly: made his hands release her shoulders; though one was treacherous, tangling itself in her hair instead of digging into the stone behind him. Ancient cave -powerful runes- he didn’t care. The whole place could have come crashing down and he wouldn’t have noticed. 

And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name)   
No matter what I do   
I'm no good without you   
And I can't get enough   
Must be love on the brain 

She sucked, hard, just as her hand released him and reached underneath, tugging lightly on his sack. Edward’s vision was blurry again, and he shouted, his turn to arch wildly. His toes curled. “Bella!” 

She hmmed around him, and the small vibration was more than enough to make him lose control. Bella said he could, wanted him to. He tightened his hand in her hair, warning her, and when she glanced up and took a long breath around him, he rolled his hips, expecting to meet the back of her throat. 

But as he rolled his hips forward, Bella pushed towards him. Instead of stopping at the entrance to her throat, she took him all the way in, her lips nestled at his base. It was electric shock, lightening in his veins. He thrust harder, and Bella choked but didn’t stop, gasping around his tip and sucking him down with each thrust, tugging lightly underneath him each time her lips touched the base of him. 

She had done this before, in crueler circumstances. 

The realization made Edward still, motionless for just a moment as he had been at the scar on her thigh. He tore his eyes from hers, took in the scars on her back with hatred and possessive fury, like when Tomas had put his hands on her. Bella pulled off of him, question in her eyes. “Edward? It’s okay, I’m okay. I’m great, better than. Show me, let me help. Don’t let him take it away.” 

Adrenaline and fury rose in him at the thought of anyone trying to take this away, unstoppable. There were so many who would try, who already had and already were. 

He would undoubtedly hurt her, but her eyes were peaceful, accepting, wanting. Each motion of his hands was careful as he removed the hand that was tangled in her locks, tracing her cheekbones to her lips, swollen and red. He gently and continuously ran his hand across her bottom lip in a gentle swipe and released his grip on the wall, replaced one hand with the other in her hair, gripping hard as he tilted her face up to meet his gaze directly. Gripping painfully. She must understand this. 

“Never again, Bella. I will kill them on the spot of they even think it, do you understand? Mine. My Bella. It hurts to think of it, like almost nothing else. I will never hurt you like that.” 

“I know.” Bella’s face was serene, happy, trusting; and then a slight shadow crossed it. “You don’t...you know, mind?” 

His control over his fury snapped. 

“Mind? Bella. God, Bella how could I mind? They’re evil. Nothing but. You are the bravest person I know. I love you. They could never understand that, never even begin to comprehend it. They will never, ever change that, or anything about this.” 

Bella’s eyes grew awe-struck and he hated it, hated that her fascinating mind could even dream up the concept of him refusing anything she had to offer, because of them. He gripped her jaw hard, his voice vampiric and commanding. “Open.” 

She did. They started slow, cherishing the gift of the experience. But soon enough they caught fire again, and Edward did not let her go even when she choked, did not release his tight hold on her hair as he thrust into her mouth. 

As he got closer to the edge of flame, his lust and his anger somehow merged, and he kept his eyes on Bella’s face, monitored her breathing as he yanked on her hair, pushing and pulling, taking what she would give him freely once more. 

She was deep-throating him with every stroke now, her neck completely relaxed as he controlled her speed, never faltering as she sucked him in over and over. He couldn’t hold it, couldn’t stop himself as his speed approached immortal and Bella’s eyes watered, overtaken by gold. 

He was so close, riding the edge when Bella suddenly re-took control, sucking hard, bobbing down to swallow around him greedily, squeezing him underneath and tugging at the same time. 

His vision went white. 

“Bella!” She suckled gently at him, swallowed every drop of his cum, bobbed with him as his hips jerked through the aftershocks. 

If this was hell, he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Page Break

Halo (PG-13) 

“Can I try that?” Edward had calmed now, had pulled Bella up to his level and kissed her. Tasting himself in her mouth mixed with the sweet tang of her blood still on his lips had been a surprising pleasure, soothing his possessive side. 

He was supporting Bella completely, his hands under her bottom and around her waist, leaning against the wall with her legs wrapped around his hips, sated completely but aware of a dreamy pulse of heat from the gold in the back of his mind. 

“Well, you’d probably have to get some ribs removed, which I understand would be a challenge, given your skin’s hardness. But I wish you could, it was completely fantastic.’ 

“No, silly girl. On you.” 

“Oh.” Bella’s eyes were wide as she canted her hips and leaned back so she could see his face. “Um, you want to?” 

“A fair amount, but not if you don’t want me to. You were thinking of it, earlier. It made me curious.” 

“No, I mean yes, I want you to. It’s just, it has been a very long time since that.” 

Edward grew serious, feeling his heart crack in his chest, fury fading to sadness. “Why?” 

“Um, well. You sure you wanna talk about this? Now?” She squirmed against him, a request to be let down. He tightened his hold. 

“Bella.” 

She sighed in defeat, but it was a long moment before she relaxed against him, her decision made. “I mean, okay, so my pleasure wasn’t exactly high priority during the less pleasant encounters I’m more...used to. None of them would, I wouldn’t... there were some times: you just give up, do what you have to do regardless of the cost.” Now her voice was sad, lost, and Edward clutched her closer, his grip tightening to almost-painful. 

She wouldn’t meet his eyes; she buried her head in his neck. She reached up and behind her neck absentmindedly, scratching at the brand on her shoulder over the fresh cuts, making them reopen and bleed. Edward grabbed her arm and pulled it away smoothly. It was nothing at all to redirect her to petting his hair; she didn’t even notice. 

“But I couldn’t let them, I’d fight. Hard. Addy used to do that, she really liked it. And Fio would. A long time ago.” Grief for her fallen lovers ravaged her face as she lifted her head to take in his reaction. “I can’t even really remember what it was like. I didn’t realize I’d forgotten.” 

“My Bella, never again. Why didn’t you want to tell me that?” 

“In the music room, you seemed angry about them. It was different, I was different. But I cherished them, still do. I don’t want you to feel like you have to compete with them, that I somehow love you more or less than I love them. Is that okay?” 

Edward paused, took a moment to gather his thoughts. He needed to be clear, here. This was important. “It’s okay.” 

“They loved you. They were in love with you, you with them. You are who you are, partially because of them, and I’m in love with who you are. Watching those echoes was the worst sort of torture, not because I was jealous, but because I knew how it ended. I knew that it would break your heart, hurt you. But I can’t hate them, can’t compete with them. I don’t even want to.” 

He brought his hand against her jaw, compensating by leaning further against the wall, increasing the flow of strength to his arm under her behind. “I know what it’s like to love you, Isabella Swan. How could I envy someone something so perfect? You were beautiful together.” 

Bella’s relief made her sag, her full weight on him now as he sank to the floor. She curled against him like a child, like gold in chains and afraid of the dark. He smelled her tears before he felt the wetness against his skin. He rocked his lover gently as she cried her grief for the loss of her innocence, her lovers. 

When she mumbled his name against his shoulder, he realized she was asleep and pressed a kiss against her forehead before he adjusted her to a more comfortable position on his lap. There was time. 

Heaven, Hell. It didn’t really matter. They were in love. 

I can feel your halo (halo) halo   
I can see your halo (halo) halo   
I can feel your halo (halo) halo   
I can see your halo (halo) halo


End file.
